indi's index, from the blast from the past pages - Page 4

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DurgaS thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#31
Indi,
 
This above is beautiful. Each line is written with so much heart. I love it. That whole scene was magical. A glimmer of hope. An oasis when IPK was slowly turning into a desert. The reason that we were still continuing to watch the show in all that off-screen madness. This post took me back to those troubling days. Don't think I read it then. Thanks to Horizon for giving the link.  
indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#32
durga,

thanks for reading and liking. yeah, i was so touched that horizon remembered. i was in a bit of state when i wrote that. that lovely scene just did me in. you know all those feelings of those days... very dear. rare. when nothing was really taken for granted.

indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#33
a desperate dash into the moment, a snatching away of life from death, and the rain. why are you looking at me like that, why are you clutching me so hard, who am i to you, i want to hold you, i must turn away, i feel nothing, then why do your eyes smoulder, chocolate lava in the rain. hold me, why do i want you of all people to hold me. rain oh the rain. blast from the past drenched by a torrent from the present.









Edited by indi52 - 10 years ago
spirit thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#34
Thanks for the link Indi.
Bookmarked :)
indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#35
just a thought, wonder what you think
(wrote this 13/14 october 2012.)



hi there, just sharing a thought.

ok, since i really wanted a fight and it happened. and i have to say, it was beautiful, natural, asr's every feeling i felt, it was a classic problem of many relationships. one doesn't feel "understood" by the person one loves the most. oh haven't i been that way ðŸ˜†.

can we please have an episode on how much khushi wants arnav? wants as in wants, not understands his needs as a diabetic, or a boy hurt by the past, or as a bro or anything. wants as in khushi longs for him, to be with him, to touch him, to make him hers and be his. just as a girl who really loves a boy.

i am missing the beguiling mature writing of the early days of ipk, right up to feb. maybe it will return. when big things didn't have to happen yet we felt the earth move beneath our feet.

don't understand tracks, trp game, many technicalities, just know what feels right and draws me in. and what doesn't. too much happening on screen these days. a loss of subtlety. though every episode a few stunning and stirring moments from khushi and arnav. the rest of it doesn't somehow feel ipk.

there was june 2011 up to feb 2011. here's hoping.

would love to know your thoughts on this.


added note later


       hey!
                     
                           hawww.

hey to haw in just 10 days. ho hi gayi. kya? hamaari shaadi... saari rasme. how delightful that night under the blanket away from the cameras, two lovers lost in a world of their won. and then in just 10 days so many things to be done. the world is too much with them. is there any getting away from it? slay the demon. send the ghoda ghodi to barfilee pahar. grab the picnic basket and catch some salman. pass the popcorn. no the mathri. pass the hanky. grab that hand. you don't understand. but i... love... you. really? what's the plan. save the world? arnavji. no arnavji. how can i call you laad governor? hawww. and again the lovers in a world of their own, albeit minus blanket. her lips are so red. is that what he's thinking.

beautiful moments flash by amid a lot of things that may have felt odd these few days. monday again. hmmm? leaving you with a few more memories. so much was said, without naturally a single word. this is ipk and we write things differently. 

                           
                                   

      






.

Edited by indi52 - 10 years ago
indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#36
i dreamt i met a man called asr
14 september 2012

hi dear reader, this is i guess an os. my first. perhaps my only. hope you enjoy. indi



he sat there looking lost on the old park bench.

when i saw the jaw line, i knew there was only one thing i could do.

i sat down.

"what's up?" i asked when i found my voice. he looked so disoriented. he turned and there were his eyes. i remembered chocolate, my habit of quietly eating a little chocolate every night, chocolate all by myself. my throat went dry again.

"huh!" oh, so he had a voice. how do you perfectly pitch a "huh." i exhaled slowly, i must keep calm.

"where am i? i think i am lost." lost? who could have been so utterly, hopelessly, stupidly careless, i thought. lose you? who would, could, ever could want to lose you? are they nuts? don't they see what they...

"i remember i used to live in m&b land," that voice again and my thoughts passed out. "i used to husk, rasp, stand arms akimbo. i was a clever, sarcastic, impeccably dressed tycoon with an implacable expression."

my ears thrilled to every word he uttered. not the voice this time, it was the words themselves. each had been learned at that great school of english language created specially for young ladies of non english speaking lands: the mills & boon romance. page 57 he kissed her. page 158, he brusquely said in a hoarse voice: can't you see what you do to me, i love you, woman. and pulled her into his arms to plant a rough kiss on her tremulous lips. she succumbed and in the midst of a torrent of passionate obfuscation (not and m&b word) managed to say: i love you too. oh all those new words. so he came from that land?

"and she hated me as much as i hated her." hate is akin to love, m&b had said and m&b knew. ah, i thought, so you loved her.

"she was almost 10 years younger, not rich, lovely with no idea of how beautiful she was, and she looked down on my way of life as i hers." perfect. i knew this was going to work.

"so what happened?" i asked, hooked.

"happened? i am arnav singh raizada, i write my own destiny. everything went brilliantly, we fought, we hurled insults at each other, we married, we kept on hating each other and somewhere along the way i found myself in shakespeare country."

"huh?" not so perfectly pitched came my response.

"yeah, i was a bit what the. but it kind of grew on me. like she did. and we started to, you know... and before you could say tumhari aukat kya hai people were talking about me being like howard roark, othello, quoting deep literature: steinbeck, neruda, tagore. also, plenty modern writing and stuff, seems our love story was gaining in depth and breadth, it felt real, and we'd run way beyond page 158."

i started. how did he know i'd thought that?

"this is a dream," he said with his wicked, lopsided smile, "i can read your mind."

my heartbeats grew deafening. i muttered to myself "lambi saansey lo, lambi saansey."

he continued talking, i couldn't hear a thing. when my breath settled, he was saying:

"...no idea what happened, i was so busy feeling things i'd never felt before, maybe i got lax, my mind was on other things, did i tell you i adored her craziness, her sanak as it was called, and her dopey clothes? i told her she needn't change a thing about herself, but they went and made her older, yeah we all live in dreamland you know. and they didn't stop at that... they gave her tents to wear and strange slippers, you should have seen her mojris. and that off centre plait, delightful. how i remember our engagement with a bandage ring, she looked gorgeous just as she was..." his eyes darkened at the memory, he continued, "now it was long open hair all the time, i liked her like that but not all the damn time. actually, that was a sign, i should have seen it coming! dammit!!"

"seen what coming?"

"this... this move... now i am in sp land." his forehead furrowed, his jaw hardened, he looked straight ahead at nothing. "soon i will be wearing kurtas all the time and these strange kurtas not the cool khadi ones i look dd gorgeous in, certainly not my favourite waistcoats and shirts. i will be going to temples. my trademark frown will be replaced by a sweet smile. i will be fooled by a pathetic clown who thinks he is the joker. i got a hint this morning that i will be switching to shudh hindi. and worst of all, the girl i hated the girl i love will become something called an acchi bahu." he stopped, lost lost look in his eyes.

i couldn't bear it. i said, "would you like to come with me to my planet? you see i came here to check out the scene, ready to head back home. want to come along? we have no sp land where i come from."

"can we take the suv?" he asked, eyes glinting.

as we jumped in, he on the driver's side of course, his kurta turned into a white linen shirt, and the perfect waist coat over that. his strong, beautiful hands moved on the gear stick and in seconds we were speeding. "seatbelt!" he barked. oh yes, come back asr, come back, boy.

we saw her at the same moment. 

"what the!!!" he rasped under his breath.

she stood right in the middle of the path. white saree, no jewellery except for her mangalsutra, hair open, bag in hand, thumb stuck out for a lift.

we screeched to a halt inches from her.

"just as useless as that attempt on the way to nainital, khushi," he said sarcastically yet lovingly, the way only he can; his eyes not leaving her face, searching for something. 

she looked at him with a funny smile and said, "thought you could leave without me, laad governor?"

she stuck out her left foot at him. there was a nutty mojri on it.

he folded her in his arms and and began to kiss her mercilessly.

i walked away, knees turned to jelly, breath short, but determined. no interruptions this time.



Horizon thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#37
Feels low.. kind of lost... then comes a lady with a magical touch of her words.. centered around two very special people.. just the two of their own kind... off to a trip of a magical land... he says its hell but it feels like heaven...truly eternal... down the memory lane.. there that rose garden.. a secluded exclusive one... just for some very special... then a ride on a white SUV .. there comes that crazy clumsy girl...  then they kiss...and the doors shut... but felt bliss  was open..
.. oh.. oh.. I/ she was dreaming.. was it over????Off to the lala land again..
 
So how does it feel asked the lady with the magical words... "what is the password to your computer" me asked!!!
 
 
- an ardent fan!
Edited by Horizon - 10 years ago
indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#38
hello horizon,

nice fantasy words flowing... lost are you? hope not any more. we are all here and those two... who will take this away. see that white suv, they are both safe in there and just managed to escape. sp land is not good for the soul, i am glad they don't need to go that way again.

good to see you, sir. hope mood lifting.

indi52 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#39

i just answered a very interesting question on another thread: when did khushi start getting a soft corner for asr, was it when she saw asr hugging la, or much earlier.

after answering and looking at all the caps, i wanted to post it here.

it's thanks to doctor and risha, siaa and all you guys here, this whole period is fresh and clear in the head, still thrilling, still driving me nuts.

will do a short one on 45 later tonight. the reply got me right up to that episode.

here goes:


ever since the rain hug, the rakshas is on her mind. he was already disturbing her thoughts, but something changed in the quality of sensation there in the rain. and after guesthouse, where we have that unbelievably beyond here and now scene of him coming, holding her hand and hauling her off to safety, with the unforgettable moment where he stares at her and her hair is storm blown, since that time he's somewhere lodged in her thoughts, stirring her, evoking incomprehensible response.

     
    

when she awakens, she feels his hand on her, stroking her face gently... till of course reality walks in and she screams "no."
     
     
   
she is in utter disarray within when her family members urge her to resign. finally she agrees and works up that fiery anger by the time she reaches his home, resignation letter in hand. a strange scene, she shouts and screams, accuses him of being a certain kind of person. he says nothing. of course, he tries to, but she is in no mood to listen. yet before leaving, she looks back, a long, pained, confused look.

       
       

he'd asked her "tum theek ho," later that day, she admits, "nahin, hum theek nahin hain." things are not at all going the way she thought they would. her insides are in turmoil. why didn't he say anything, why so quiet? maybe she hasn't said all to him yet, maybe she needs to meet him once more?
    

the next morning, not at all happy to realise she needn't meet him again. later, almost everything reminds her of him. payal is blamed for doing this, but really, why this gale of memories and a tremulousness within at the mere mention of even rm?

then teej. so much unsaid yet so aware.
             
   
can't stop thinking of him after that dashing into each other and sindoor shower on both. and then their meeting at the temple.

          
          

she is disturbed watching him open la's fast. oh the strike, strike, strike on the match box with that fragile match stick over the scene.
 
           

          

poignantly, soon after that the sunday traipse to ar to pick up dm. all along she's saying things like, why can't i stop thinking of rakshas. his thoughts are the only thing that make her forget to eat her aloo poorie.

really miss khushi, methinks you rakshas too much. maybe you wish he were your raaj kumar?
  
    
    

before entering the office, she's assailed by strange thoughts. recalls all the awful things he's done to her and gathers the resolution and much needed anger perhaps to go in and get her things.

but at the desk, when she's pretty sure she's alone. no fear of laad governor being here, what does she remember? him holding her so close in the rain. tender moments, together moments. her face pressed against his shoulder. the two of them looking at each other. not the letting go.
 

she can't help herself, she thinks of him, she breathes out as though succumbing, letting go, closing her eyes searching for composure.
   

oh, she was attracted to him and developing a soft corner despite herself long before that lavanya moment. but yes, that hit her hard. it's one thing to keep all your feelings buried (mainly because you don't understand them at all), and go about doing what you believe is right. in this case, bringing him and lavanya back together again was that, in her opinion. but it is another to watch your man (yes, your heart has started marking him) put his arms around another woman in front of your eyes. tears will well up and escape the well guarded fantasy of don't care.

having built this awareness and emotion so fascinatingly, how could the makers go haywire after kidnap is way beyond me.

extremely long answer. apologies.
Edited by indi52 - 10 years ago
DurgaS thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#40
 
Indi,
 
Back after a couple of days and I see that you are spreading your precious pearls of the written kind, here and there. Some new, some old, but surely worth a read not once, but many more times. Don't know where to start, your first 'os' or the escalating list of reviews. Hope to cover some today. 😳