Midnight's Musings…
He stared at the dark sky as his back pressed lightly on the grass in the middle of fields he loved to spend his moments. These fields held an integral part in his existence. It had witnessed the most important and special chapters in his life. It had watched him laugh as he ran throughout the length of these fields, with musical laughter echoing from her. It had watched him carry her on his back and roam the place, enjoying the cold breeze. It had watched him stare at her, without her knowledge, as they sat on the rock, beside each other. It had watched his longing to remove that lock of her hair behind her ear while she shut her eyes as the wind, along with his desires, kissed her face gently.
It had watched him silently as her words played in his mind. It had watched him pray for the well being of the girl, and her beloved one. It had watched him smile with his moist eyes as she animatedly explained things that he wanted to hear since his childhood, but now addressed to another man.
Now, it was watching him as a tear betrayed his heart and made its way to the grass through his temple, ear and then crook of his neck. Wind had been blowing, trying to remove his pain. He smiled bitterly at his thought. Pain, that was. No. that feeling had been killing him, draining out his blood drop by drop, with each passing second. Breathing had become difficult. He shut his eyes, unable to control his pool of emotions. The sky poured its heart out for the man who lay in the nature's lap, reminiscing memories of his life with the girl he longed for since his childhood.
He often wondered when he started liking her. Was it when he first saw her in her birth bed in that old cot off that smelly government hospital? Or was it when she reached him crawling in her first rice ceremony? Or was it from the time that he realized that she was a girl, when she complained to him about those eve teasing boys during her 8th standard?
He had no idea when he started to feel for her, but he knew, that she was the only one he had ever thought about, dreamt about. He laughed with her, and removed every reason that would make her cry. He was never able to stand her tears. It would always kill him.
So here he was, on those very fields that they were used to spend their endless days and nights by chatting with each other, killing his own soul, so that she would be happy in her life.
He sat, pulling his knees together and rested his arms on them for a while, contemplating whether to accept the call that had been vibrating in his pocket. He knew who it was even before seeing at the caller id. It was past midnight and there was only one person that would dare to call him for about numerous times. A smile formed on his lips. He had no idea of how long this would continue. He had no idea of how long she would call him and took care of him. He saw the love in her eyes, but the amount didn't satisfy him. She loved him, of course, but as a friend, and he wanted more. She forwarded her hand for friendship, and he wanted to pull her by that hand into his arms. He sighed and answered the call, unable to ignore it anymore. Her silence spoke to him how much she was angry and upset with his behavior. It was not the first time that he came without informing anyone in house.
"Khushi, I will be there in a while," he said, letting in her silence wash over his sorrow and fill his system with energy to face her for one more day. She was at a hand's distance, and he was unable to grab her. If it was all he would get, her presence in his life, then he was going to have it to the fullest. He got up from the grass bed and stood for a while, adjusting his vision in the sheets of rain as he saw a figure approach him with slow pace, and his heart knew who it was.
"Can we sit together for a while, Arnav?"
He heard her words clear that sheet of silence between them, and he nodded, as a small smile twinkled amidst of the downpour, moonless night…!!!
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