Originally posted by: chandana123
Tinks,
Ur story is awesome!!!The text and the poem complement each other so well...Thank u for giving us such a great story!!!
@Tinkerbe11.. Hey Superwoman 😉
Lovely story. I liked how it starts leaving the reader with many questions as it progresses and by the end of it the little things..details start to make sense and the whole picture became clear...you've written well mate...enjoyed it!⭐️👏
I thought you'd have clocked from the beginning you know 😛, but I think I'm more glad that you didn't lol, and thanks for keeping me encouraged with your comment hun. 😳The beginning was quite intriguing, the way the surroundings aided the situation..the choice of words to describe it was well done...I could visualize what you were conveying...love the way it begins in Arohi's perspective of what she felt, what her relationship meant to her, what Virat, her husband, meant to her and what the decisions she makes could possibly give in regards to her life...it revealed she's known him forever I guess and they beat many odds to be together ...yet their relationship is at crossroads? The recall of vows puts things into better perspective in regards to their love, Virats love that he stated would prevail even death...those little memories added to allowing the reader to see what their relationship was like...and Arohi's words show the desparation and sorrow of missing someone dear...The beginning part was the only bit that I was able to work on in a chilled out mode, if you get what I mean lol. I tried my best to show their bond as strong as I could without going into too much detail and believe me that was actually kind of hard and easy at the same time. I realised that sometimes you can cover so much altitude of emotions in simpler words than in more complex ones, so in a way writing this story (even under pressure lol) was a good excercise for me. The vows was added to make it a clearer that they were married and by the sounds of it it paid off, and yes, Arohi's description was all meant to portray the agony she suffered from her separation.Virat's not really ready to speak with her for whatever happened, he's mad and I'm curious as to why exactly...Arohi's willing to be patient...her visiting home as if it were the first...sometimes, esp when you have a certain attachment to home, leaving for a few days can seem like forever...aww they have two kids...they sound great...seemed like they were a happy family...so what went wrong? indeed life is mysterious and full of surprises...so what challenged posed the problem? got me thinking yaar!He just wasn't ready to give the typical answer, because him saying "I swear nothing happened..." sort of dialogue would just make him look like another guy hoping that his saying would be enough, but it wasn't convincing enough, and plus the tension in the conversation at that time didn't seem like the perfect stage to reveal something that might 'just' sound foolish to your other half, so the guy did what he thought was right and asked for time lol.Arohi's patience wasn't decided by her it was sprouted on her in a way 😆, and yep, totally agree, when you're away from home it does feel like you're visiting it for the first time again and somewhere in between you try to remember those memories.Well the 'happy family' look is what I aimed for with their kids and I guess I got it, but again you're right, life does throw at you whatever it wants when it wants, we just need something to surprise life itself sometimes...
Oh! accident...kinda sort had a feeling there was some accident...but the events leading up to it...hmm suspicion is a rotten in a relationship ...can destroy...but sometimes things just come in such a way you automatically choose to see a certain way, most likely a way that's probably the worst case scenario...dunno what made her think he doesn't love her anymore...all he said was I will explain when the time is right :S...she trusted him to deal with it...but then she had issues dismissing rumors...things that spread like wild fire...and i swear...what the rumor starts off as is always like 10 times worst by the time its made its way around...lol...anyway...so of course a third wheel is always a problem...and so that was her reason to drive off and land herself in the twists of life...an accident...careless joyriders and a her life gone flying...shes left in a state where she is almost alive and dead at the same time...gosh :S...poor thing sounds so weak..even doctors gave up but her Virat wasn't going to :)
Yeah the cliched one lol, like I said I was running short on time so I had to throw in something, and what better way to start with the typical suspecting wife who begins to think her husband has lost interest in her. Well she thought because he didn't give her an answer at that time, it would be something along the lines of rejection and 'not feeling anything between us anymore' kind of thing so she thought that he was short of a few words innit 😛. She trusted him to deal with it and thought the rumours would die out eventually but when they grew more wild she figured that it wasn't without reason, but clearly it was something that was growing out of control deliberately because of Maya and her lame ways lol, and yep so she drove of for a piece of mind and ta-da 'joyriders' I tell you they do exist, you wouldn't believe some of the things if I ever told you man, it's terrible. But anyway then worst case scenario happens and she slips into a coma for two years and doctors say 'time up' making Virat's worst nightmare come true. 😭Aww the way Virat tried so hard to get Arohi up and the fact of pulling on a brave face for her never crying before her and promise to even leave her if she just woke up...now it all shows his pain and desparation to have her up and about...and then her gathering just enough strenghth to say to him that she loves him but she wants out now...of life...gosh the pain in the moment :'( she's dead...this is like a mind and soul connection ... loved the fact that locket his vow made her stay with him...and the way their souls will go together..like he also vowed...even death would'nt separate them...they met to leave together forever...aww now certainly I was a little confused at times in regards to the ashes Virat mixed with the water and the locket bit...the walking away all sent the msg i was missing something but thought i will know if i am or not by the end...lol and its the fact that she was dead...and it was joining her much later...The poor thing had to do something to bring her back though innit, but he didn't want to become a weakness for her either, as she was helpless but he wasn't in the sense of breaking down in front of her, and it has happened to people who awake from a coma for a few minutes or so, so I thought why not. Ditto babe, that was my plan from the beginning 😳, see he didn't have any hand in deliberately keeping her back but from her ashes he contained a pinch of them in his locket to keep his vow of 'not letting her go even after death' like metaphorically, but his action never granted her liberation for real and he ended up being the reason to keep her close to him after all. But boy am I glad you got it in the end.The other aspect of the story ... with Reshama and Maya...Roy...although the aspect led to a significant change in one's life it was secondary to the story...it wasn't about the events of life but rather the dealing with it...at least I thought that...their promises..and the way in all of that they loved each other dearly was just written amazingly...well done Tinks...as always never a let down 😃Yeah you're right, it wasn't so much as when and why it happened, it was more like a phase that others think are important to share and some don't, more like a perspective where some think too much for it and others think nothing of it, and like that Virat thought it to be unimportant. Something that would never be spoken of again in his life, but Maya's treacherous mind plotted to use his past and linked it with her selfishness. But whatever happened after that argument made her lose her faith in her husband, but his support over the two years while she was in coma made her realise that his love couldn't be a hoax and somewhere along the lines she fell in love with him all over again despite if he swayed for a bit, and her casaulty made her accept this reality.
So finally we're done lol, this is like an essay putting both our comments together lol, but babe thanks so much for reading and then commenting in so much detail as usual and yep as usual I loved reading your comment too, it was fab and loved every detail you noticed and big thanks once again!!! 🤗
hi tink
beautiful story .u deserve to win 😊loved the gazal too .u r pro at love stories & u prove it again .hope to see u at ltl forum soon .all the best 😊
Tink OMG its beautiful from the begening till the end enjoyed reading it!!Virat's love for Arohi nd vice versa, nd then addition of V's frnds nd then donating sperm all made sense jus loved it dear!Beutifu!
@ tink awesome story😊 n thanks for the pm...
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