Roll, Camera, Action: Mission Honeymoon

Actors of 'Na Khele Tum, Na Maine Score Kiya' are getting ready for the shoot. Director Dappu comes to the set and asks, 'All ready for scene one?'  Assistant says, 'Saab, sab tayyar hain, aap hi ka intezar tha.'

So, the shooting starts. First scene is with Missej Rahu Pyaj and Mrs. Bindu Natak Kar. Actors Ms. Pinku Aram Kar who is playing Rahu Pyaj and Ms. Golu Fisli playing  Bindu Natak Kar get ready for the shot.

*****

Scene one- A bling shop in  Juna Mohalla. Rahu Pyaj is bargaining with the shopkeeper over 50 paise hike on 'bindi' packet.

Rahu Pyaj- Arre, aise ekdum bhav badayega to kaise denge hum? Ghar mein saadi hui hai, faltu karcha hua hai.

Suddenly hears a voice from behind her. It's Bindu Natak Kar, saying- 'Suno, zara mere keemti saadi pe match homewala sasta bling dikhana.'

Rahu turns around- Arre wah, kya baat hai behan Ji? Nayi bahu aate hi saas ko nakli jubellary pehanani padi?

Bindu- Chup! Bilkul chup!! Bahu nahin hai woh meri.  Moreover, I don't have to explain you about what I wear. It's my style!

Rahu- Goli mariye apne ishtyle ko! Aur jo karna hai woh karne ki sochiye!!

Bindu- Kya matlab hai tumhara?

Rahu- Suna hai aap ka woh lafanga beta apne nayi dulhan ko lekar woh kya kehte hain, 'huneej moon' pe jar raha hai, woh bhi Nepal!!

Bindu (agitated)- What? Itni door, honey moon pe? Mujhe bol ki jaroorat bhi nahin samjha usne!!

Meanwhile Bindu's cellphone starts ringing 'Aati nahin, aati nahin, aati nahin, woh aati nahin'.. It's Mr. Natak Kar on the line. She says, 'Hello... Haan main... woh  main... Nahin  woh... Ji teek hai, rakhti hoon'.

Rahu chides- Arre behan Ji, aap apne un se aise baat karte hain, jaise mere woh mujh se!! Khair woh chodiye, iss  'huneej moon' ka kya karenge aap?

Bindu irritated- Is tarah mazak mar karo tum. And this honey moon! I know your whole family has orchestrated this maha natak!! (she had myriad emotions on her face and seems very restless)

Rahu continues her 'bak bak'- Arre, arre.. kaise baat karte ho behan Ji''..

Bindu is not able to pay attention to her words...

Suddenly'

Bindu- 'Aa rahi hai, aa rahi hai'. She starts running in true Archimedes style!

Rahu aka Pinku Aram Kar- 'Aa kahan rahi hai, Megha to jaa rahi hai'. Then turns to director- 'Dappu Ji, ye dialogue to scripte mein nahin hain!'

Assistant director tries to stop Bindu aka Golu Fisli.

AD- Golu Ji, where are you going? And what's 'aa rahi hai', it's 'jaa rahi hai'!!

Golu Fisli- Arre jo ja raha hai, woh bhaad mein jaaye. Jo aa raha hai, woh bahut din baad aa raha hai, ab mere raasta chod.

She disappears in search of a toilet.

Dappu- OK, can't help with it. Pinku Ji, aap thoda aaram kejiye, hum doosra scene shoot karenge. Ms. Ashanka Maang and Mr. Mrinal Kiran Karpur aap ready ho kya?

*****

Shooting starts for scene two:

Monu-Meenu packing for their honeymoon.

Monu (blushing)- Sun na, bade pyar se packing kar rahe ho. Irada kya hai?

Meenu (bhav khate hue)- Ab ye bhi bol ke batana padega kya? Videsh ja rahe hain, packing to teek se hona hi hai.

Monu- Phir bhi, do do suitcases bhar rahe ho, wahin pe dhera dalne ka irada hai kya?

Meenu- Monu tum bhi na, bachchon ke saath 4-5 din rahenge to itna saman to chahiye na?

Monu (shocked)- Bach..bachche? Who bhi aa rahe hain hamare saath?

Meenu- Haan, Rahu Bhabhi ne unki bhi ticket karva di.

Monu (sulking in mind)- Rahu Bhabhi!! Ye Majnu gali ki badla le rahi hai ki Doc. Danav Hypochondriac ke liye?

To Meenu- Achcha, saath mein Papaji, Mommyji, Jijiji ko bhi le jaate to full family trip hota!!

Meenu (admiring him)- Kitne mahaan vichar hai tumhare Monu! Main abhi Rahu Bhabhi ko bolti hoon!

Monu (sarcastic)- Guru ko nahin bhoolana! Aur Pappu, Nidhi, baajuwale uncle ke liye bhi nikalwana, kitne enthu se hamari shaadi mein shamil hue the!!

Meanwhile, Ms. Golu Fisli returns to the set.

Ms. Pinku Aram Kar- Dappu ji, please finish our scene first. I have to change to my mini dress. Ye wig aur saadi to mere badan ko kya, aatma ko bhi cover kar rahe hain!!

Since Pinku Ji and Golu Ji are seniors, Dappu resumes with their scene.

Rahu- To behenji main keh rahi thi...

Bindu interrupts- Pata hai, jyada bak bak mat karo. Tumhara bhi beta hai, mere bete se bhi jyada  lafanga hai! Jab woh koi aisi waisi lakdi ke saath shadi karke honeymoon pe chala jaayega na, tub tumhe pata chalega!

Rahu- Lekin mera beta koi ladki ke liye objessed nahin hai.

Bindu- Sab pata hain, woh teri Chanchal ke beti ke saath nain matakka jo kar raha hai!!

Rahu flabbergasted- Hai hai, Chanchu ke beti ke saath! Arre, jab maa ke bhagy mein dang ke kapde nahin hain pehane ke liye to beti kya bhagy leke aayegi mere ghar mein? Nahin, ye shaadi nahin ho sakti!!

Bindu smirks- Ab aayi rail patri pe!! Tum apne bete ko bachao, main chali apne Monu ko rokhne- mujhe daadi banana se!!

Two 'pojessib mommyz' hurry off to stop their sons from getting into action!!

Dappu- Fantastic!! Pack up for the day!!