It all started with 300 Rupees 23 (Part D)
She moved back away from his hold and said "what?"
He said "I can show you if you want to see it."
She replied "okay!"
He held her hand and started walking towards the stair. But he didn't go up, he just continued walking around the stair towards the back wall.
How come she had missed this place before? There were three long steps, she stood there while he walked up the steps and turned the light on.
She was shocked to see what she saw. He walked back to her and said "I got this done especially for you, do you like it?"
She just stood there, saw him, then saw the surprise.
She took few steps back and said "you didn't have to do this." And she started walking away.
He stopped her holding her wrist and said "what's wrong Khushi? You didn't like it?"
She pulled her arm releasing it from his hold, almost with anger and said, in a low yet firm voice, "Why are you doing all this? What do you want?"
He was shocked with the sudden change in the pitch of her voice, he said "what do you mean what I want? I did it for you."
She replied "I didn't ask you to do this."
"I know you didn't but I just thought that you might……"
She interrupted him "you thought what? You are going to come in my life all over again, do what you want to do, change my life, take over my life, that's what you thought?"
He was about lose his patience when he said "what do you mean by taking over your life? You think I am trying to change your life? You think that I am taking over your life? How is that Khushi?"
She spoke again with her loud voice "I have told you already, I have changed, I am not the old Khushi anymore. You don't need to do all this. First you buy this huge bungalow for me then that stupid wind chime, I don't want wind chime. I don't want anything that reminds me of my old life. NOTHING."
She started walking away saying that. He stopped her again. She turned around to see him with enough anger in her eyes. He asked again "you are trying to tell me that you don't pray anymore?" She pushed his arm to release her hand in anger and said "yes, that's exactly what I am trying to say. I don't pray anymore. I stopped praying the day you forced me to marry you. I haven't been to the temple since then. I have NOT. And you decide to build a temple in this house, that too for me? Well guess what? I don't want any temple. I don't want anything AT ALL that reminds me of my horrible past. NOTHING. You could have asked me once before doing this but no, why would you ask me? You think you know everything, don't you?"
She paused to look at him………
She saw him standing there, right opposite of Devi Maiyya's statue.
Her devi maiyya – the actual goddess and her husband – the person who always thought of him as a god.
Something about the parallel image of both, standing right there in front of her, made her furious. She didn't know why.
She looked at him again, just standing there staring at her, then she turned to look at the smiling statue.
Both images started haunting her, reminding her of her past. How the human god made her do things that she never even imagined in her wildest dreams. And how she left her fate to be decided by her devi maiyya who didn't do anything to protect her from all this.
She just spoke "let me leave before I say things I don't want to say."
He replied "I want to hear whatever you want to say, please say it. Let's make this easier on both of us. Say what you want to say, I want to know."
She said "I am leaving." He quickly pulled her in with an instant and said "no you are not leaving, say what you want to say."
She saw him holding her like that again. She could feel her anger rushing in her blood. She pushed him hard with both her hands and said "DON'T pull me like that. You want to talk? You want to hear what I have to say? Okay, let's talk. What the hell was that what you said in the morning? Why do you think I married you? You married me because you liked me? Because you loved me? Really? Is that what you tell yourself? You married me because you were so in love with me? You married me because you couldn't live without me? You married me because you were so head over heels for me? Tell me why you married me? And don't bullshit! Tell me the truth, tell me, you want to talk right? So tell me, why di you marry me? C'mon tell me, I am waiting!"
She just stood there waiting for him to answer. Her eyes were red with anger. Her breathing got faster by each passing second. Her body was shaking now with so much rage. She spoke again "what are you waiting for? Tell me the answer, why did you marry me?"
He saw her firing up in anger. He walked towards her, but she said "STOP! Stop right there and answer my question, why the hell did you marry me?"
He finally answered "you already know that." She replied with rage again "apparently not, not after what you said this morning. Okay, let me make this easier for you, I will answer on your behalf. You married me for your sister, right?"
He said "Khushi why……." She interrupted again "it's a yes no answer, did you marry me for your sister or not? Answer me Mr. Raizada!" He looked at her with guilt and answered "yes I did."
Her lips formed a smile, a mocking one and she said "I thought so. You almost had me confused this morning."
He spoke "Khushi I didn't mean……." She interrupted again "You didn't mean to? Right? I know. Don't worry about it, I am not mad at what you said, I am actually mad at what happened that night. And not even at you, just at myself."
He said "why are you mad at yourself? What ever happened that night wasn't your fault."
She had that mocking smile again and said "it was MY fault. All of it was my fault. If I wasn't that stupid, nothing would have happened. But I was just plain simple stupid. And the result of that stupidity, here we are, both of us."
He said again "no Khushi, all that happened because I was such a jerk." She replied "NO, you had done lots of things to me because you were a jerk but not that night. That night happened because I was so god damn STUPID. Just simply stupid. Who would do what I did that night? No person with right mind would do that. NO ONE. If I wasn't stupid enough, I would have known that any guy wouldn't leave the love his life at the alter because his brother doesn't want the wedding. I was too stupid to understand that. Who would have believed that? No one. I got so scared because I was so stupid. I was an idiot to think that Jiji's marriage will break again because of me. I never thought twice that if Akash decided to leave her on the wedding day then he would be same as her first groom. Did I? NO. You know why? Because I was stupid."
He said "you did that because I blackmailed you, it was all my fault." She screamed "no, it wasn't your fault. You did what you had always done. DAMN BUSINESS. DAMN DEALS. DAMN CONTRACT. I agreed because I couldn't think straight. And I couldn't think straight because I was so stupid. That's why!"
He spoke "Khushi you did that for your sister." She replied "You wanted me to marry you for your sister. I agreed to marry you for my sister. Where do I come in the picture here? What about ME? Why did my life get ruined because of your sister and my sister? Why was I used for their happiness? Why was I played like a freaking toy for them? Why was I forced to do what I would have never done in my right mind? Why was I dragged to a temple and forced to marry you? Why was I slapped by my mother on the night I got married? Why was I disowned by my family the day we got married? WHY? I will tell you why – it's because I was so DAMN STUPID!"
"I hate that Khushi. THE STUPID KHUSHI. I hate her. I hate myself for ever being so stupid. That's why I have changed myself. I don't want to do anything or see anything that reminds me of that old stupid Khushi. NOTHING. How can anyone be so stupid? HOW? What was it about me that people used me right and left? First that Shyam and then you. All of you used me because I was so god damn stupid."
She stopped talking now. Tears had taken over her eyes. They started flowing out of her eyes. Wetting he cheeks, all the way. She didn't even wipe them. It was almost like she had held them in for too long. She wanted them to come out and relieve her. Relieve her of all the pain and sorrow.
He saw her cry like that. Silently. Her tears flowed down her eyes but so silently. Her whole body was silent now. The vibe around her was silent. The air around her was silent. Khushi was silent. All of her.
He couldn't see her like this. He walked towards her, held her hand and said "Khushi, I am sorry, I really am. But please don't say all that about yourself. I know you don't believe me but I did love you, even then." She looked up to see him, her husband, her god like human husband. Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada. HIM. How everyone was just puppet for him. Except his Di.
She pulled her hands away from him, yet again, stepped back and said "you loved me? You really think you loved me? This is how you treat someone when you love them? You blackmail them to marry you for your misunderstanding? You tell them that you won't let the wedding happen if they don't marry you right away? You drag me to the temple and forcefully marry you? You kick me out of the room to sleep outside in the cold like a f*c*i*g dog? That's your definition of love? Is that how much you loved me? You loved me so much that you married me for six months? SIX F*C*I*G MONTHS? SIX?"
Her body was shaking again. Her eyes were burning red with disgust in them.
She continued talking "so many people ask me what my last name is, why don't I use my last name? How do I answer to that when I don't even know what my last name is? What is my last name? When my parents died my last name changed because my uncle adopted me. Then when you forcefully married me, yet again my last name was changed. And the day I left you after the contract was over, I couldn't figure out what my last name should have been? Am I still Mrs. Raizada? I can't be a Raizada because the contract is over now. Or am I still Gupta? But that can't be since I am married now. But if you really think about it, am I really married? I don't know. How are we married when we only got married for six months and then I left you the day the contract was over. So what am I? I don't even know if I can call myself married. I am not divorced because I don't remember signing the divorce papers. Are we separated? I don't know. Am I single? I don't know that either. WHAT AM I MR. RAIZADA? TELL ME. I WANT TO KNOW MY IDENTITY. WHAT'S MY MARITAL STATUS?"
She just stood there, staring at him, demanding answers.
She continued "Tell me, you must know the answer for this. Since you think you are a god yourself. You must be able to explain me my marital status. If I am married then how is that? I know I was married to you for six months, then what? Am I still married even though the contract ended? If I am single then what am I doing sleeping with you? If we are separated then why are we seeing each other? If we are divorced then where are the divorce papers? TELL ME. You want to talk right? Why aren't you talking now?"
She spared him another cold look, piercing his heart out.
She said "Do you have any idea how much your one wrong decision has messed up my life. DO YOU? You married me for six months for your sister's sake. I can still forgive you for that but then you called me characterless? WHY? Because you are you – the mister I am such a big deal that people like Khushi are nothing compared to you? I AM NOT CHARACTERLESS. I have never done anything that I shouldn't have, except that one night with you. I should not have crossed my line. I shouldn't have. The six month was going to be over that midnight. I should have just controlled myself until that midnight but the way you kissed me that night, I couldn't. Why did you have to kiss me? Why couldn't you have just let that night pass just like all other nights? Cold and lonely. Why didn't you just let me be? You should have just let me stay there another night without showing any sense of love or need. I would have been much better that way. But NO, you had to kiss me that night. WHY? Why did you kiss me? If you wanted to stop me, you should have just stopped me. But NO, why would you stop me? That would have been easier than messing my life – wouldn't it?"
She forwarded her steps towards him, one by one. She grabbed his collar and screamed "WHY? WHY DID YOU KISS ME THAT NIGHT? WHY? You know how much that one night cost me? DO YOU? What were you thinking kissing me? WHAT?"
Tears started rolling out again. She was still holding on to his collar when she continued asking "WHY? Why did you have to………."
She didn't complete her sentence, she released his collar with disgust, and she looked at him for the last time, stepped back, turned around and ran upstairs to their room……..
He stood exactly where he was, glued to that very square foot of the floor, frozen, until his body shook by a LOUD slam on the door………
To Be Continued…….
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