Chapter 27 : God
Ridhima had it all traced out. She would get out of the car, walk the distance in silence, pray before the Lord, walk back and dump herself again back into the car.
It was easy. Or at least that's what she said to herself.
Her peripheral vision caught on to the flash of a glimpse the man behind the steer shot her. She fluttered on the inside, knowing full well he was waiting endlessly for the moment she would break her maun vrat. Of course, she did feel she owed it to him but her unstable thoughts on him were way stronger than any of her thinking skills. Besides, she did talk often. It was not like she had gone into hibernation. But she kept it strictly to enquire others and any conversation that involving the two entirely was a taboo.
Had it not been for Bua, she would not have been in this position. Her annual routine of making a visit to the tiny temple by hills could not be compromised in her head but neither would Bua compromise on sending her alone in her scooty. During the previous years Muskaan accompanied her but this year, alas, she found things being twisted and turned right back around to Armaan. For some reason, Bua had developed blind trust in Armaan and it did no help especially when Bua would talk of him during their dinners together. And so she landed by his side after avoiding nearly 23 coffee evenings (yeah, she did count the number of days). It wasn't sweet because he was being extremely patient and to a sane person, expecting a reaction is natural. Though lately, she noticed he was being more or less distant rather than just ignorant to her ignorance.
The engine halted and the two got out.
"We got to walk from here, right. How long is the temple from here?", asked Armaan, stretching his hands.
"About 2 minutes or so. It's pretty old and heavily protected despite being small..That's why the car restriction," said Ridhima, her voice having the kind of coarseness you get when you talk after so long.
Armaan nodded in acknowledgment.
When they reached a stone that indicated the entrance of the temple. A few pairs of footwear lay randomly near it. Ridhima removed her flats and shoved it neatly onto the corners.
"I will wait here, Ridhima. You take your time," said Armaan.
Ridhima turned to give a confused look.
"Why? It's rare that you will find a temple like this," said Ridhima.
"No. It's not that. I..umm.."
"I am waiting."
"I just don't believe in God," said Armaan flatly and did something with his tongue and cheeks. "There you have got your reason. I will be waiting by the car."
Ridhima nodded before retreating.
"Why?" she asked when they were on their way back home.
"Why what?" asked Armaan back.
"Why don't you believe in God?" It seemed absurd an idea that someone so effortlessly wonderful like him being an atheist.
For some odd reason, he let out a laugh. And it most definitely wasn't genuine.
"I do have the choice for that. But to answer you. I honestly don't know. I just don't have the capacity to accept he/she exists."
Pause.
"Did something change before or you have always been like this?"
Pause.
"Why don't you take a wild guess?"
Pause.
"Something changed. Correct me if I am wrong. And yeah. Please don't think I am intruding your space."
Armaan smiled sincerely this time. He noticed how light her aura was now. She probably let herself out in front of God. It didn't matter to him but he thanked whoever responsible for the smart woman's shadows re-arrival. "I didn't think I am that legible."
Pause.
"You are, actually." Ridhima said, with a tiny twinkle in her eye and a smile forming in her lips. And then she reprimanded herself not to indulge anymore. It was bound to be painful.
Pause.
"You come here always? It's like you know this place well."
"Well. I come here almost every year. Bua says that after I was brought into the orphanage, I suffered this really serious fever and when even the medicines didn't work, she took me and brought me here. She spent the whole night carrying me and praying for me. And that supposedly is why I am here alive. Quite filmy. But I trust Bua to not make up something like this," she said, her eyes wandering off in fond memory. She remembered the days of her childhood when she begged Bua to tell her the stories of her survival. Ridhima was a weak child and her immunity was pathetic. And she had gone through a lot as a kid in terms of being ill almost every other day.
"So basically you come here because it's like the miracle that saved your life. Okay. That's a good reason."
"My life is worth something, you know," she said jokingly.
Of course it was.
Armaan gulped that in and looked away.
"Are you okay?" Ridhima finally asked. She had no idea how badly she wanted to ask that until she felt the relief that it was out. "You look desperate and tired and all so not you."
"Really," Armaan put on a pretense. "It's the work stress. Nothing to worry about."
If Ridhima bought it, he didn't know. And somehow the rest of the ride was uneventful.
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Edited by Aubade. - 11 years ago
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