!! DOTW - Love Marriages Against Arranged !! - Page 4

Originally posted by: 49erFan

Better yet no marriage Shubhi 🤣

Originally posted by: bhakti2

Hi!  This is lovely topic...it is really nice to see it being debated so thoughtfully.

Hello! Thanks for the appreciation ☺️

I know there are many people who fall on each side.  I was really surprised to see here so many who are saying "I don't believe in marriage." which I am not quite sure what is meant.  But still, everyone must have their own POV.

Trust me! I was surprised too 😆

I have had arranged marriage myself - it was at fairly young age (18) and i was thinking as i was reading all the posts here that perhaps what is really mattering is the feelings and sense of duty of all the people who are concerned.  

When I married I was afraid.  You know how they always say you have pati-patni, under one roof, in one room...but the very very first time that that is the case you can feel very shy and frightened.  I will never forget that my husband said to me ki now he is responsible for my safety and i am responsible for his happiness.  He said that he will be like the tree if i will agree to be the creeper that twines around and helps it to stand tall, and we would face the world together.

@bold: Wow 👏 

He really made me think about how it makes it better if people come into a rishta understanding that they have responsibilities toward one another, and that if they can accept them then they will solve all the problems together as a team. Everyone in the house seemed to have this idea. My saasural all have role, and I have responsibilty to them as well. Also my husband and I are now parents, so there is that new responsibility.  It seemed to me that the more we took care of each other, the more love grew and grew.  I can really say now that i love him very much, that when he comes home i grow more happy to see him each time. So I guess you might say it was arranged marriage that turned later to love. But overall I would still favor arranged as it brings all the family role into clear focus and gives tremendous strength to the relationship. Your lives all twine together not only from attraction but from duty and from deep spiritual sense. I trusted the elders to have the knowledge of this and the arrangement was made by them only.

I know this is only one story, and there are many other ways things can go.  In my own colony we often hear people yelling or even sometimes striking each other.  That's why my guess is that it is what is in your heart from the beginning that counts, whether you have started with love or arrangement.  Life can be stressful so it must be that it is not your way to take out your anger on those who are innocent nearby you just because you are unhappy hai na? That is why I completely agree with Janaki that there should never ever be forced marriage - this will result only in broken lives and maybe even violence. 

I am glad that people think so hard about this topic and take it quite seriously - that way they will be able to know what is right each one for themself.  Sorry to go on so long!😊

 That was quiet a delight to read 👏

Such a beautiful heart touching delightful autobiographical ☺️

Thanku so , so much for sharing! 🤗