16/4 Dragon Club:Ansh Needs Manners asap

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Sana

@sanashau

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#171

I dont think Ansh is a brat. The girls started fighting with him first and he was just running around while they were chasing.

Also, why did Gayatri say that Ansh was taken care of and that Arti does not need to worry about anything when obviously there was no one to take care of the kids. How come she or vidhi never thought of serving the kids breakfast, taking them to the bathroom before doing the puja. Dont the kids come before all that especially when you have a new kid in the house who has no clue where the bathroom is or where the kitchen is. What if one of them got hurt. Heck they even have a pool in the house, isnt that dangerous?

I have a 15 month old and if I was in arti's place I would have thought about him frst before anything else...

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angake

@angake

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#172

@sns23. Agree! I seem to be agreeing with everyone today. 😆So many different viewpoints and yet I seem to be agreeing to each of them. That shows such a grey area this topic is.

Yes, Ansh does suffer from lack of disciplining. And I love the way how you said that Yash has won half the battle since Ansh idolizes him. So true!!!

Also, agree that unless Aarti herself is comfortable, Payal and Palak are not going to be comfortable accepting her and Ansh. But I do feel Yash can play a huge role here. And that is the role of a reinforcer. We saw this happening in the Mall. Yash was totally out of his comfort zone. Where as Aarti took the lead to explain to the kids her relationship to them. When either Palak or Payal called her out saying she was lying then Yash stepped in and reinforced what Aarti had said. The girls then seemed to accept Aarti's claim that she is their new mother. In that situation, Aarti was the one who offered the olive branch to the kids but the kids accepted the olive branch only when the sensed support and acceptance from Yash who is the most important person in their lives. I think that kind of team effort is the only thing that might work now.

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Indu Ghosh

@InduG64

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#173

Yash and Aarti have been totally self-absorbed over this shaadi. Both repeatedly keep saying that they're doing it for their children, but neither has bothered to talk with the other about how they'll handle the children let alone actually talking with the children. This has always been the part that has struck me as totally unrealistic. For two people who care so much about their children, they've done precious little thinking (on their own or together) about how this'll actually work.

Mira: (Bold) And that my friend is the crux of all the problems and all the chaos that reigns in Scindia House today. Everyone is right on certain issues...and again, everyone is wrong on certain issues. This was not a normal, everyday marriage from the beginning...but Scindias chose to treat it so. Many issues needed to be resolved premarriage...but never were. Not only Aarti and Yash didn't interact, but they didn't take the kids too in complete loop. They were left to hypothetize or draw conjectures based on their little knowledge and what they were fed. For Yash and Aarti, it seemed "punar vivah" was the be all and end all...what after, they didn't bother to think. If they had, a lot of the adjustment features could have been preempted...Ansh would have been better accepted, Aarti would have known about Yash's sleeping arrangements, the kids wouldn't have been surprised to see each other on waking up, Aarti would have been at peace regarding Ansh and completed all the rasams on time...but it all came apart because of lack of communication.

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whatthewhat

@whatthewhat

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#174

I just wanted to make a few more observations (rather disorder i'm afraid) before calling it a night. It's been a long day.

My sympathies are still with Aarti on this one. She is in a strange place, she has no reason to really trust that Ansh is being taken care of (she believed Yash though...not insignificant). And after what Gayatri said to her, she has even less reason to trust that he will be loved and cared for like she has been doing. So I understand her. Moreover, Aarti has no malice in her heart. She is a well-intentioned person who has a lot of serious reflecting to do. (as does Yash)

GS on the other hand is NOT well intentioned. She puts her status and rituals and dikhawa above people and their feelings. I have no sympathy for her. She chooses to interpret Aarti's concern for Ansh as disrespect to her...that's her lookout. She is ungenerous and unsympathetic.

As for Ansh - I find him to be a charming little boy. So full of life and so confident. What I love about him is that he treats everyone in exactly the same way. He calls it like he sees it. He's a child. Soon enough he's going to learn the artifice of the adult world. I do not see why he should not be childish when he IS a child! He is expecting to love and be loved as he has been used to...he is being himself. He is not shy or retiring or self-effacing. (In many ways like Aarti). I think that will win over his new family...he is that kind of child...

Now coming to Aarti and Ansh and their relationship:

Aarti's concern for his person, her affection toward him (that misplaced almost-kiss) all demonstrate to me that Aarti's style of parenting is very hands-on. She is physically affectionate to her child. As he is to her. All that seems very natural to me.

Unfortunately she's landed in a house that views children very differently. So far, we have seen that the orderliness of the house is of great importance to the Scindias. So much so that they are outraged by a little childish horseplay. The children in this household and seen and not heard. In fact, they are not really "seen" either. Their room is somewhere random...not close to Yash's room (which I find VERY strange). Vedant and Vedika are at boarding school.

It makes me think that this could have something to do with Vidhi's obsession with her children. The Schindias have a tradition of sending the kids to boarding school. Maybe Vidhi never liked the idea. Maybe she would like to watch her kids grow up. Being parted from them causes her so much anxiety that she perhaps unconsciously distances herself from Pankaj, perhaps even blames him for sending them away,

BTW: Are the Scindias going to want to send Ansh to boarding school? That'll be a tough one for Aarti to deal with!

When Ansh interrupts whatever it was Yash was doing 😆. His first reaction is one of irritation. His routine is being interrupted. I think that this household is not used to having kids be kids. They have to be tucked away. The less seen and the less heard the better.

Aarti has her own very different parenting style. Open, affectionate, hands-on...and hopefully she'll extend this to Payal and Palak too...

This is going to be a HUGE clash...

Hopefully, the Scindias will learn that a disorderly house is not important as showing your children you love them...I really hope Aarti and Ansh show these cold cold grandparents how to love with an open heart.

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@roseinbloom

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#175

Hey guys sorry I came for a second and left before... was way too busy ..

Jyo: haha right now idk if i have the time to do that reaction but cuz its the precap .. ill pakka do it tmrw since whole scene shall play out =p ;)

As for my take on Aarti ... I would like to mention the fact that Aarti has had to parent her child alone (yes Shobha and Satyendra were there but to a certain extent others will care for your child, the disciplining is in your hands) and for Yash .. Arpita was there for a little while before her death. After that Yash -- while he was grieving -- had the support of his big family, who happened to have people with kids as well, to take care of Payal / Palak. As for Aarti, Prashant left her when Ansh was still in her womb... we don't know what she went through day in and day out during that time and so, many maternal instincts probably awoke in her such as "i will always give my kid everything and NEVER say NO" ... etc etc .. I feel this is probably one of the main reasons Aarti never got to know how to really discipline and control her child. The first child she's ever had. Not everyone is a great parent.. but being an overprotective parent is always better than being a careless parent in my opinion ...

Now in this situation .. Aarti will have to realize sooner than later that she has to adjust to this new family .. and that this family has enough guardians who can take care of not only Ansh .. but Palak/Payal if she is busy in other work .. Yes we might have thought .. "why doesn't she just stop overreacting in her worry and let someone else take care of Ansh?" but I think sometimes parents feel most comfortable when they are with their children .. and I feel Aarti has had this force of habit to always have Ansh around her .. have him in her line of sight .. because he might be her support factor.. he might be the one person in her life who makes her feel comfortable in any situation .. yes his antics get her in trouble .. but she lets that go -- which is something she'll eventually learn to stop doing and actually parent Ansh in the proper way ..

And I feel even Yash has to learn parenting .. I mean he hardly spends time with his children .. so far that is what we saw.. but I don't blame him because he was for this while grieving over Arpita or lost in her thoughts to take care of his girls and his family ended up taking over that responsibility .. Yash will have to learn how to take his girls under his care so that he can teach them how to behave with Aarti .. and also because people like Bua need to be kept away from them (if he doesn't want his girls to end up hating Aarti for being a "sauteli maa") ..

And yes, in this situation Yash should help Aarti out as a parent if not as a husband.. this is his household.. he knows how to talk and control situations (as seen at the wedding Ansh staying away from Aarti issue) and so if Aarti does land in trouble he can cover for her..

Phew .. that's my take on this issue =)

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whatthewhat

@whatthewhat

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#176

@Indu:

Couldn't agree more!

It'll be interesting to see how they resolve this issue given that communication is just about the last thing that happens in Hindi serials!

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@roseinbloom

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#177

Mira: OMG you took my words out of my mouth girl. I agree with your post 100%! I think from face-value we would feel that the kid's being bratty or childish or spoiled ..but reality is that the kids who were already living in the house are made not to behave their age.. and are fed such wrong thoughts about situations (from people like Bua) that they don't act that way in front of elders, but do it when they are alone. Whereas Ansh does it in public as well as alone. Goes to show he is not being told to stop being who he is. Manners is a different subject altogether.. Ansh doesn't need to be trained like a kid at military school to live at the Sindhiyas.. I wonder whose idea it was to send away Vedant and Vedhika! And I am so intrigued by your theory that this is the reason why Vidhi ignores Pankaj!

And agree about how Gayatri does put everything, all traditions and her image, above family and relations. And I feel she does have that dark side when it comes to Ansh because at occasions she has seen Ansh/Payal/Palak doing the same thing yet has only pointed out Ansh. We need to see what her real problem with him is .. is it that he's not her blood .. is it his behaviour.. what is it? I guess we'll have to wait and see.. something tells me one of these days things will get pretty ugly.. because something this big cannot be solved in a day..

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Indu Ghosh

@InduG64

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#178

Mira: Agree. Aarti is very much the Maria in the von Trapp household at the moment, with a kid of her own...The parenting styles are poles apart. Informal parenting versus formal, traditional, rigid parenting have always clashed in Indian families. A girl wed into a family following the former style will be made to feel at ease right from the moment she enters the household...but the one entering a formal, stickler-to-traditions family will always find the going tough at the beginning. She needs to be understood...and her actions need to be understood. But at the moment there's no one who will...She needs a mediator badly. Yash, the only one who would have, stays away and is clueless about the going ons. So, she is marked the bad guy...sentenced without having been given a hearing.

Edited by InduG64 - 13 years ago

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@roseinbloom

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 13 years ago

#179

Indu: Agree.. Yash being the only mediator is half the time either burying himself in his thoughts of Arpita or missing from the scene ... so for this relationship (if we want to call it that at this point) to work .. he needs to be attentive of not only Aarti but all 3 of his kids.

Edited by -ZsterMG- - 13 years ago

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sns23

@sns23

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#180

@angake - Oh, trust me, you and me are on the same boat, every post I read here, makes a very valid point, and it has become very hard to float a debate in my head now :P

I was just going through a previous post of yours, where you had said that Aarti has tried - as much as she can, considering the circumstances.. I had those very same thoughts, the minute Aarti is behaves a little bit selfishly when it comes to Ansh - I think about Gayatri and actually majority of the family's 'Arpita bahu/bhabi line...' These are people who are trying to wipe away a person's identity, they get what they deserve..

But on the other hand, I am that sort of person, who would want to make sure that, from my end, I haven't made any mistakes.. And I end up doing the same with Aarti I guess.. Considering Ansh's behavior in hand, I feel that Aarti just hasn't done enough to discipline Ansh.. And like you and many others have already emphasized, Yash will definitely have a hand in it..

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16/4 Dragon Club:Ansh Needs Manners asap - Page 18

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