Hello
everyone… I'm Nafee.. 😳
I had just started watching this show and I've already started to love it with just 2 epis. I'm trying to keep myself on track by reading the updates and I'm in middle of the Nov epis already... I thought of introducing myself in here with a small gift for all the dedicated fans of IPKKND and it's just a piece of imagination popped up after the yesterday's epi. 😳
I might have clashed over some actual incidents but it's all due to my lack of knowledge over the past. Please consider them as an additional imagination into the characters.. Happy reading!
~Realizing the reason~
Arnav strode towards his room with furrowed brows and anger seeping in through him like cascade. He clenched and unclenched his fists with rage as he flopped on his bed. He closed his eyes and tried to comfort his mind and heart from being so furious at things that surrounded him.
It was entirely dark but the image of Shyam drooling over Kushi with dreamy eyes flashed through. He quickly opened his lids to erase those images and to settle something else in his thoughts instead of thinking over something that angers him all over again.
He could not see Kushi being happy when he is not the one providing her with happiness. He always wanted to give her happiness but she never let him to or maybe he thought so. By what he saw in that event, the person who was in danger was his sister, Anjali, whose husband is trapping her wife, Kushi. But he was anger over Kushi than Shyam because he could not see her with anyone else.
And of course, the second thing that angered him was her trying to cheat on his sister. How could she do this when his sister treats her so well? Where could she find a good sister in law as his sister? Over all these, how could a girl go behind a guy who could only give her lust?
He was disgusted at the thought and their angry exchange outside was playing again before his eyes. It was a moment where love and pure hatred clashed with their ego. He wondered how many forces are there in spoiling both of their relationship.
This is of course a temporary marriage to safeguard his sister's marriage but above all, he tried so much to keep them permanent in this commitment as he loved it. Loved? No way… He refused to accept the fact that he has a soft corner towards Kushi. He just could not from watching things that's happening from time to time.
He would grow fond of her at some situations but out of nowhere, something would happen that disgusts him to extent that he avoids accepting the fact he loves Kushi.
Thus, thoughts and confusions clouded his brain as he saw Kushi waling in the room with upset face. Her eyebrows were furrowed indicating that she's lost in thoughts, just like him.
She was tired of Arnav's behavior towards her though she had not done anything that actually frustrates him and though she was only trying to help people. She could not tell him certain things because she was requested not to. But even though if she doesn't tell him, can't he get that she always does things with a proper reason?
There were lots of incidents in which Kushi had proved him that he was wrong with his guessing but still he does the same. Why can't he once trust her that she is helpless at situations?
She kept gulping down the agony that threatened to come out through her eyes. But she doesn't want to show her weakness in the way of crying. She also knew that it is not going to help her in anyway besides it could only make things worse.
She glanced over the room and saw Arnav leaning over the headboard and watching at her. Her stomach knotted up at the intense but hatred filled gaze as she just looked back at him without knowing what else to do. She helplessly looked at his eyes to read what is lying beneath them but failed all over again.
With a sigh over all this repetitive clashes, she turned towards the mirror to remove her accessories along with the hairclip. She untied her hair and it flowed over her shoulders framing her face that was screened with upset.
She quickly tried to doze off before thoughts crept over her. She was not ready to have another sleepless night with Arnav lying beside her. It was hurting to have a meaningless life with the one who she loved from the bottom of her heart. She knew it was all for a reason but she hated the fact that the reason was not love.
She had already had enough from Shyam, the most disgusting person she knew. But she just could not tear his mask because it had cost her the life of Anjali, who is being more than just a sister to her. Of course, Arnav would not be able take this as he loves his sister more than anything.
It would be better to have someone comforting beside her but it is not going to be Arnav and she knew that she cannot expect them from him who might anytime break the band that keeps them together. As she doesn't know the exact reason over their marriage, she was also not aware which moment would free her from this commitment and that always kept her in an alarming state of uncertainty.
She hated the insecurity and all she expects was a word from Arnav which would keep them together.
When all this was going through Kushi, Arnav was starting to feel bad for his words that were thrown over her before few minutes outside. His features had begun to soft down when she looked back at him with an unknown innocent look that met his anger ones and a thought hit him that she could never do something that he was imagining it to be.
But at the same time he could not blame a guy who goes behind a girl. He thought there should be some actions of tempt from the girl to make a guy go behind like that, but at the same time what if it is all done unintentionally? What if Kushi was not aware of what she doing to that guy? How could she be blamed for his weak mind? If Shyam loves her wife so much then why would he go behind Kushi? It is Shyam's fault, Arnav thought.
He glanced towards Kushi again who was now untying her hair to go to bed. She was removing her earring and her actions told him that she is not ready to take anymore and she was like being trapped from all side with no one to protect her.
He compared the girl before their marriage and after their marriage. Her face would always emit a light that boosted up the lives around her but after their wedding, she had begun to wear an expression of uncertainty and insecurity as if anything might happen any moment. He felt a surge of remorse for giving her something that she does not deserve.
Arnav had noticed her often during poojas and certain occasions where she would look fearful and pale when it has got something to do with the mangal sutra. When his sister and aunt would do the rituals with ease, Kushi would caress the identity of marriage with utmost care as if it is her last time performing them. It always told him that she was scared of losing this commitment but it has to be at one point right?
Definitely, it's a temporary commitment as it holds some reasons thought he has not delivered to her frankly. He is helpless in carrying out their relationship to a good destination as it was all for his sister but either not for him or Kushi.
His anger had subsided looking at the poor creature that stood before the mirror without much awareness of what's going in his mind. She was innocent, her behavior was innocent, and her life is innocent but its only Arnav that's making things complicated to her. Or so he thought.
He stood from his position as he walked over to Kushi whose back was facing him. He looked at her face in the mirror as she was busy arranging the bangles in her bangle holder. Her hair fell before her, hiding her face partially. He could not resist his emission of care and love towards her even though he fights over them to keep in control.
He placed his hands on her shoulders which immediately resulted in Kushi's stomach knotting up. She felt a mixture of fear and expectation rushing all over her as she suddenly stopped her motion and turned pink. She was not sure what's coming up as she tried to comfort her tensing features. Her heart beat with a speed that she could not measure and she heard them loudly in her ears. She gulped down as she slowly turned to face him.
Arnav was met with the questioning face and he was sure that his eyes are unsure of what to answer them back. He studied her eyes thoroughly and he just could not believe what his own mind blamed her for. He felt sorry for all his rage towards her and he also wanted her sister's life to be safe.
He was full of confusions whether to believe what his eyes had told him. Kushi always did things with reason and he also knew she would not do something that would violate her dignity. Then why did he see things that always accused her of? Which is true? His eyes or kushi's innocence?
His gaze travelled from her eyes to nose and then to her lips. She waited patiently to let him do whatever he has in mind. She wanted him to understand her badly. She was also ready to give explanations if he could frankly tell her what's bothering him so much. She was at this point more than ready to keep their relationship permanent. Only if Arnav feels the same way.
Arnav saw the trembling lips that were ready to answer him if he could raise questions. But he just could not. He could not blame her over something so filthy and he was not sure how would she take it. What if she leaves him to clear all those doubts? He just could not build up the courage.
To get the unquestioned answers, he leaned over to her lips to at least take them out by himself instead of asking her openly or by hurting her and her dignity.
Kushi was bewildered by his actions which was rather more confusing. She could not fathom the pure hatred at a moment and the divine love directed towards her the next minute. She stopped the approaching lips of Arnav by keeping her hands over his chest slightly. He understood the denial from her as he just hovered to her with interrogating eyes to confirm the disapproval.
Kushi didn't release herself from his hold and neither had he retreat his hands back. They stood there with each other's eyes looking at something else other than each other's eyes. Kushi was gazing at his shoulder and he zoomed at her hair that lay over face with a color he could not describe. It was clearly evident to both of them that they avoided eye contact.
He was about to release himself from the trance when she clutched his shirt tightly. He looked into her eyes when she opened her mouth to let out her feelings.
'Arnav ji…' she gulped to gather some courage, 'I don't know if I'm going to speak it right. But I'd like to vent out what's storming up inside me.' She found him focusing on her words with complete concentration and she felt herself shudder by the intense gaze of his. To avoid stammering she decided to close her eyes to not to lose this moment at which he's so patient enough to listen to her. She continued. 'Before I could even figure out what I'm having for you, I was married to you. But I don't want to lose myself to you before I could figure what's up with both of us. I know you hold some reason for this relationship. But a marriage must not hold any other reason except love. But in our case, it's frank that love is not the reason'. She gulped down the tears that were chocking her throat over the realization. 'I don't want to lose ourselves to each other over some reason which is not love. I'm very clear that it would be a mistake.'
His hands lowered themselves to his sides as she opened her eyes at the loss of his touch with a disappointment. He took steps backward from her distancing himself further. That saddened both of them even more.
She felt her heart wrench at every step he took to distance himself from her. She looked at him longingly to stop moving away as she quickly blurted out with tiredness in voice and with weakness to win him over, 'I'm afraid of losing you, Arnav ji. But I don't want to use this situation of confusion to get you. I wish we both realize the reason and I want to make sure that I'm not doing anything against my conscience, Arnav ji. In case if you think that I'm doing something unforgivable'.
Unable to continue and to control her storming insides, she quickly escalated out herself from there.
Arnav who witnessed her confession was stunned by her bravery of admission over her feelings. He could not believe that she was bolder than him in this issue. His happiness was concealed by the surprise first and later it clearly dawned over him that she loves him. Arnav came into a conclusion that, with so much love in her for him, she could definitely not cheat on him or his sister. He was unable to believe all that happened in this few minutes and he now realized what was the reason of his forced marriage. A smile crept over his face with realization. He had realized the reason.
The reason is love. Nothing else but…
LOVE.
Alright, waiting for the rotten tomatoes and torn slippers..
With love,
Nafee 😳
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