Story : One New Text Message - Page 3

Hey come on...why scrapping...we had a nice opportunity to have a nice laugh and go 😍 over duo imagining those scenes. Why should we miss that? 😛

Interesting story. Nice attempt and only duo.  I was 🤣 at few messages. Very nice first attempt 👏

Just a suggestion —Report F was main  

Would have loved if you would have not shown or can say told reader that Duo has replaced the hard Disk. As when Maya  stole hard disk and duo giving shocked reactions reader is relaxed as reader know hard disk is replaced. Imagine reader had not known hard disk is replaced then reader would have also been tensed with them.  (hopefully)

Then after that when Maya is try to leave country duo trying to find her at any cost. Reader thinks that duo trying so hard as 'F' report is with her and when Maya is caught she tell duo she has already send file blah blah blah then duo can open up everything----- they saw camera and then planned everything. This could easily  be shown in flashbacks.

 

Originally posted by: visrom

Hey come on...why scrapping...we had a nice opportunity to have a nice laugh and go 😍 over duo imagining those scenes. Why should we miss that? 😛

Yeah 😛

Nice story..duo centered.. I'm so happy,...i loved Duo's expressions, planning acting .. U portrayed evry aspect. beautifully.. Thank u pvkd..

Originally posted by: sunnyp1414

Interesting story. Nice attempt and only duo. I was 🤣 at few messages. Very nice first attempt 👏

Just a suggestion —Report F was main

Would have loved if you would have not shown or can say told
reader that Duo has replaced the hard Disk. As when Maya stole hard disk and duo giving shocked
reactions reader is relaxed as reader know hard disk is replaced. Imagine
reader had not known hard disk is replaced then reader would have also been
tensed with them. (hopefully)

Then after that when Maya is try to leave country duo trying
to find her at any cost. Reader thinks that duo trying so hard as 'F' report is
with her and when Maya is caught she tell duo she has already send file blah blah blah then
duo can open up everything----- they saw camera and then planned everything. This could easily be shown in flashbacks.

Hey thanks for the suggestion sunny. Yes really it would have sounded interesting if I'd have addded a flashback sequence instead of revealing it beforehand. Aage sey aap se suggestion zaroor loongi 😛

Aisehi sugestions do yar so that I can write something less stupid next time 😆

I've been made very curious by Vis to read this ... and reasing the responces I'm even more curious ..

Then go ahead and finish reading it bhavs di...ull laugh a lot certainly!

Originally posted by: Bhavanab

I've been made very curious by Vis to read this ... and reasing the responces I'm even more curious ..

🤣
Credit goes to you for making me post it.

I was very curious when i saw the name of the story so read this one first (sorry Sri...i will read ur story tomorrow)...
Really nice attempt...i like ur style u dnt follow the FW style u write ur own that's very good 👏...reflection part is good...very nice idea...i feel this story is not from a writer rather than a DUO fan😉...ur all the messages are just superb, brilliant & when i read those messages i was 😆 😃😍 ❤️ ☺️...just wonderful...it has refreshed my minds...
Keep writing 👍🏼

Thank you very much Debasree!
I am glad you liked it 😃