VirMan OS- Bahaara hua dil pehli baar ve

subtlesapphire thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#1

This is an Insanely short OS but I have exams but I thought since its friday, I can write something atleast. Hope you enjoy!

The summer rain ran through her petite figure, in the night of Missouri. The Vedheras had invited The Choudreys to spend some time with them in their luxury home in Missouri, to escape the heat of July.  It was late at night, and everyone was tucked away in their bedrooms but of course our Maanvi couldn't sleep, so she decided she was going to enjoy the warm rain in the midst of the clouds. She loved Missouri.

Meanwhile Viraat was looking for Maanvi, he had two Kulfi's, courtesy of Viren, and Viren insisted that he gave one to Maanvi, though Viraat wanted otherwise.  He was looking for her when he walked pass the back lawn. He couldn't believe the sight he saw, there was a fragile looking figure swaying round and round enjoying the rain. He had never seen her like this, never ever.  Her white night suit was drenched and hugged her petite body. Her hair was open, wet and swaying and falling onto her face, and down her long neck, lying on her distinctive collar-bones.  He looked further down; she was bare foot, enjoying the rain.  Just as he was analysing her, Maanvi saw him, and came to a halt, rather embarrassed. To avoid an awkward moment, Viraat walked closer to her and said "eeer..woh, Viren bhai had told me to give you kulfi",  as he walked closer, he couldn't keep hold of himself as the floor was very wet and slippery. He tried to grab Maanvi for support but ended up falling on her, however he managed to put his hand over her head and her back, so that she wouldn't get hurt.  They pelted to the floor and were in a deadlock.  Viraat couldn't get his hand out from under Maanvi's back, but for some reason, he didn't even try. His head lay against her chest; he could hear her heartbeat increasing. "viraat..tum..eeh"  Viraat, un-knowingly, almost instinctively, crept his hand up her back, to her hair. Maanvi didn't say a word. Both their breathes were clashing, as Maanvi could feel the heat of Viraat breath near her neck, she didn't know where this was going, but she didn't want to interrupt it either.  Softly, Maanvi felt Viraat's lips touch her neck, Viraat didn't mean to do that, but it just happened.  Maanvi closed her eyes, and let her hand explore Viraat's hair.

woh... jo labj the bandhe huye, labon pe khul gaye

main... use mila toh ranj se hai mujhame ghul gaye kuchh iss tarah

mujhame main abb hoon kidhar

main hoon kidhar kya bataau, sirf usako hai pata

bahaara bahaara huwa dil pehali baar ve

bahaara bahaara ke chain toh huwa faraar we

bahaara bahaara huwa dil pehali, pehali baar ve

She didn't know what it was, but Viraat realised he had gone too far. It took all of Viraat's strength to lift his lips off of her soft skin. But he knew what he was doing with her wasn't right. He was ashamed, not because of what he had done, but where he was leading Maanvi, he knew she was naive, and Viraat was no way going to take advantage of that.

He lifted his head to see her curious eyes looking into his, her confused eyes. He took his arm from behind her back and stood up. He faced the other way, his back to her; he didn't want to look at her, mainly out of awkwardness. She didn't know what to say to him, and she ran off. Viraat's eyes down, watched from the corner of his eye, her running away.

He picked up the two Kulfi's from the floor, which were now fully melted. Where the heat came from, he did not know. 😉

Hope you enjoyed! waiting for the comments and please like if you liked! x

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Nikki_Titli thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#2
omggg this ws way tooo lovelyyy dear...wish there ws a continuation to it...plz do write such amazing stories on VirMan whenvr u get time n do pm me too plz...😊
guluna thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#3
OH MY GOD its just amazing mind blowing do continue n plz plz pm me the nxt part 
Sevenstreaks thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#4
loved it...:)pls continue:)
--Mystical-- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#5
Loved it!!
Really well written...do continue or write more!!
preethis thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#6
Awesome.. whenever you get time wriite and pm me...
Chotii thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#7
This is the first VirMan OS/ any VirMan fiction for that matter, that I've read since I've become a fan of their's since uh.. kal se? 😆 So, comment toh banta hai!!

Whao... loved this! But it's rather evil of you to tease us with such a small piece. On the other hand, the fact that it's short makes it SO effective. This is seriously an AWESOME situation/ moment you've created. LOVED it. Written fantastically!

You've wonderfully captured their characters - which is something I gotta applaud you for. It's a short piece, but it's still managed to live and breathe the essence of VirMan. You're really rather brilliant for that ðŸ˜Š Every detail fits Virat/ Maanvi's character's perfectly - the smallest things like Virat reluctantly going to find Maanvi, to give her the kulfi. Bechara, show mein har bar pas jaata hai, lekin he has his fun from it 😆 and here too, he has to go because he's been told and just goes along to find her 😉

And when he does. . . I can totally imagine him momentarily transfixed by hamari cute Maanvi dancing in the rain - it's just so her to take pleasure in something like that, forgetting everything around her, and just enjoy the rain. But then... BAM. He's seen her wet is attracted, seen her so happy and ofcourse drawn towards her. However, although he's been naughty enough to give in to temptation he's controlled himself, and stops for HER sake more than his own. Because he knows what SHE might feel, and he can't either mislead her nor hurt her, he's afraid of ruining anything between them, why do something that could confuse her when he himself doesn't know what he wants...?

UFF... It's a GREAT piece on VirMan, genuinely can't wait for something else that you better be writing on them soon! 😉

Saz
x x x x
Edited by Chotii - 12 years ago
subtlesapphire thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: Chotii

This is the first VirMan OS/ any VirMan fiction for that matter, that I've read since I've become a fan of their's since uh.. kal se? 😆 So, comment toh banta hai!!

Whao... loved this! But it's rather evil of you to tease us with such a small piece. On the other hand, the fact that it's short makes it SO effective. This is seriously an AWESOME situation/ moment you've created. LOVED it. Written fantastically!

You've wonderfully captured their characters - which is something I gotta applaud you for. It's a short piece, but it's still managed to live and breathe the essence of VirMan. You're really rather brilliant for that ðŸ˜Š Every detail fits Virat/ Maanvi's character's perfectly - the smallest things like Virat reluctantly going to find Maanvi, to give her the kulfi. Bechara, show mein har bar pas jaata hai, lekin he has his fun from it 😆 and here too, he has to go because he's been told and just goes along to find her 😉

And when he does. . . I can totally imagine him momentarily transfixed by hamari cute Maanvi dancing in the rain - it's just so her to take pleasure in something like that, forgetting everything around her, and just enjoy the rain. But then... BAM. He's seen her wet is attracted, seen her so happy and ofcourse drawn towards her. However, although he's been naughty enough to give in to temptation he's controlled himself, and stops for HER sake more than his own. Because he knows what SHE might feel, and he can't either mislead her nor hurt her, he's afraid of ruining anything between them, why do something that could confuse her when he himself doesn't know what he wants...?

UFF... It's a GREAT piece on VirMan, genuinely can't wait for something else that you better be writing on them soon! 😉

Saz
x x x x

awww thanksyou soo much saz! this is soo nice, didnt expect that u'll like it that much! aww, and dont worry, Ive buddies you, so when I write anything else on VirMan, Ill surly PM you! aww youve made my day by writing such a long and sweet comment. Thankyou soo much! x😃🤗
zillionaire thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#9
hey! do continue and pls pm me!! :)
|Persephone| thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#10
Wow! This was super fantastically written! The start of the story was awesome too and has pretty good potential! I love when fanfics have and awesome story line and perfect grammar like this! Kudos! I hope you continue! Do you do PMs? Because I would love to be added to the list :D
And If you write anything else, I would love to read that too, especially if it is on VirMan!
Btw, I'm gunia :D
Edited by luvya4ever - 12 years ago