As Raveena lowered to claim her place besides Vikram, guilt shadowed Kunal's mind once more for the beaming bridegroom. His sister had run away to marry off a man that her brother had proven guilty only few days ago. The respect she should have had for her brother's judgment was overpowered by her love for Rohit. That had stung bad but more than that Kunal had feared that Raveena now had a spot on her character that no one could get rid of and still he had forced her to marry Vikram, a man he had hardly approved off. A man he always thought could never be sincere ever in his life. Today however as he caught him gazing at his sister with eyes full of love and affection, he knew in an instance that there could be no other man to cherish her than Vikram. This knowledge made him feel all the more guilty. Vikram deserved to know the truth. He deserved to know beforehand that it wasn't marital bliss that was awaiting him at the end of the day but a jilted woman that harbored burning feelings for another man and only hatred for two people she had for family – Kunal and Siddhi!
His gaze shifted from Raveena's steel face to Siddhi's worried but happy one! She looked breathtakingly beautiful in her pink chaniya choli. Her hair, long and shiny, cascaded down on her shoulder to reach her hips. Her chandelier earrings dangled a little as she craned her neck to search something in the crowd. As their eyes met, she held his gaze for a few seconds before looking away hastily. It was clear that she was searching for him and now she was busy hiding the blush that had crept over her face as he had caught her looking for him.
He so wanted to compliment her but couldn't. Raveena's thoughts and the shock of what could have happened kept blocking his mind. May be later, at night when they would be finally alone, ready to retire from an exhausting day full of twists and turns, he would tell her how stunning she looked. How lovely pink looks on her – his favorite color on her. How he could not forget what she has done for his family despite of the half hearted relationship they shared. The scene he thought would be alarmingly disjointed for a third person if one ever gets to see it. She would be sleeping on the right side of the bed as she always does, he would be sleeping on a mattress at the bottom of the bed. She would turn her left to look at him while he talked and he would turn on his right… they would be so close and yet so apart. He knew the moment he would tell her how beautiful she looked, she would turn on her back, blushing and smiling but wont meet his eyes. He might do the same. The discussion would end just there. He will have so many things to tell her apart from this. How he wanted to hold her in his arms as she cried after papa accused her of helping Raveena but he wont be able to say that aloud. The night would pass like any other. He will have a fitful sleep, interrupted with Siddhi's smiling face cropping up every now and then. He hasn't been able to sleep properly for nights now, ever since she had laid her head on his shoulder for support after he won Rohit case. His world had changed in that one moment of weakness. The silence they shared now talked more. They understood each other better. Finally he had come to realize that he no longer looked at her as a woman that his younger brother Anand had set to marry. He no longer looked at her as someone who became part of his life as a huge compromise. These days she was pretty much his life – sleeping hand's distance away every night.
Kunal came back to senses as Panditaji asked Raveena and Vikram to get up for the pheras but it was only for a moment. As panditaji chanted the mantras, they took him back to his own wedding. He hadn't heard them neither had he ever tried to understand what they really meant. He had gone ahead with his own wedding as a mere duty he had to do for being a son and a brother. Today however as Panditaji explained every mantra he understood well what a rough deal it must have been for Siddhi. She had done everything she could for him and his family. She had weathered his shouting, his distant behavior, the way he treated her as a competition and nothing else during Rohit's case. He now felt ashamed of himself for accusing her of stealing in their home. It must have been tough for her to face Thakral all day insulting her and then come back home to a man – her husband who tormented her more with his harsh words and non caring attitude. It must have felt very thankless as she fasted for him only to be shouted at from the very man whose prolonged life she fasted for. Her family must have been worried as Kunal had yelled at her same night for accepting Richa's job offer. Everyone must have passed her pitiful looks as he insulted her in front of the entire party. What kind of merciless and heartless man had she got in her husband! She still fulfilled every promise she made around the holy fire. She had been a dutiful wife, a dedicated daughter in law, a woman that always put her family before her own happiness and pleasure. As Raveena stepped ahead in the third circle, meaning she would face death first had it befall on her husband, Kunal recalled how Siddhi had done the same. Every danger, humiliation, embarrassment that he had to face, Siddhi had fought it headstrong without as much as a sigh escaping her mouth.
What had he done?! Kunal realized that if Siddhi was keeping her promises, he should too. It sounded like a settlement of sort, devoid of feelings and a connection that he surely felt for the woman. He brushed aside the thought. He wanted to do everything a husband promises to his bride because he liked her.. err.. loved her and not because there was a deal between them. A deal called marriage. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted her to believe that good things can happen and that she wasn't there only to provide happiness and cheer to others but she was entitled to have some in her life too. He wanted her to have a relationship that a marriage really promises. This would have sounded cringe worthy a few days ago but as he looked at his wife smiling at Seema from across the hall, he thought there was no other thought as beautiful as to making her his own wife in true sense, to present her with all rights she had, to surrender his ever growing feelings to her.
As Panditaji pronounced Vikram and Raveen as man and wife, Kunal realized the promise he had made to Siddhi before their wedding was overridden the moment he had taken those seven phere around the fire. The promises of protecting her, loving her, providing for her, standing by her in her sorrows and difficult times, keeping her happy were more important and real than one promise made earlier of toeing the lines. Those lines ever present between them were now fainting with each passing day. He now was supposed to wipe them completely and step into her world. Yes. He would still keep one promise he had made. He would never take Anand's place in her heart. He would make his own.
As Siddhi stepped inside their bedroom, still unchanged from her bling wedding cloths, she took a step back. There Kunal was, sprawled on their bed. He looked at her as she stammered about changing into her night cloths. As she entered the room once more after changing into her purple nighty, she knew Kunal must have by now shifted to his half berth but to her surprise he wasn't! He remained where he was. She passed sometime in taking off her jewelry and make up, then combing her hair but Kunal wont budge. His eyes followed her everywhere and watched her every action. She could feel his eyes on her back. She realized her heart was beating with an almost unnatural rhythm!
She almost yelped in shock as two strong arms circled around her waist in a possessive clasp. She turned to find Kunal staring at her intently. A gaze that melted every single fiber of her being. She looked away as usual to save the embarrassment. There has to be some mistake. Was he drunk! But they just had the most exhausting day of their lives and he looked too stable for a drunkard. She finally met his eyes that darted from her eyes to her lips. That made her nervous. God knew there was no other man she loved more than him but this was still very incoherent, as if she was somewhere in the middle of a dream and awakening. It felt true but at the same time felt like an impossible dream.
"Heyyy.."
Siddhi gulped once before looking at her handsome husband. He looked tired and pulled down and yet had a twinkle in his eyes she had seldom seen before.
"Tumse kuch kehna tha"
Siddhi managed to look questioningly at him.
"I love you and I feel this is the time when we should move forward... and i dont mean physically if you are not comfortable... but muze lagta hai ke hame is rishte ko ek mauka jarur dena chahiye... hame ab ye sochana chod dena chaiye ke ye koi samzote ka rishta hai... ke ye rishta koi majboori ka rishta hai.. ke ye rishte ki koi seemarekha hai...tabhi aage jake hum dono ek dusare ko wo khushiya de sakenge jiske hum dono hakdar hai.."
Words failed her. It indeed was a dream. This wasn't possible. Kunal couldn't be in love with her. She was just not his type. She was nothing more than a compromise. She was nothing meant to be more than a woman that shared the room with him but always reminded him of his deceased brother. This wasn't supposed to happen though she had prayed for it to happen, every waking and sleeping moment of past few weeks.
"kya hua.. tum nahi chahti ke hum ab aage badhe?"
he looked almost scared. his grasp on her hip loosened a little and that made her panic.
She wanted to scream yes but damn her body. She was losing control fast. All the things she wanted to tell him rushed to her all at once leaving her confused and confounded. She had to do a double take at what he had said and what that had implied.
"Siddhi… hamare bich kuch to baat hai…. Hum sirf room partners to nahi ho sakte… hum sirf dost bhi nahi ho sakte… hum me kuch aur hai jisne hum dono ki raat ki neend uda di hai… hum dono me kuch hai jo din ba din ek dusare ke taraf kheech raha hai… hamare bich jarur kuch hai jisne is rishte ko itni majabuti di hai… aaj tak muze lagta aaya ke wo sirf Anand hi tha jisne hame jod ke rakha.. sath me rehne pe majboor kiya.. par aaj mai samaz chukka hun ke Anand hamesha rahega lekin hamare bich nahi… hamare sath rahega…hamare bich aj jo hai wo dosti hai.. wo parva hai.. wo pyar hai"
A tear rolled down on her cheek silently followed by another one. In no time her crying turned incessant. As she whimpered, Kunal pulled her in a bone crushing hug that blew away not only her breath but also her doubts about this being a dream. He felt so close, so real. The feeling of being caged in his arms was so out of the world that she thought she would faint but didn't. She needed to be conscious to be with him, to aid him in what he was set to do…. He wanted to make her his own and tonight she was going to return the favor with tear in one eye and smile in another. Today she was the most luckiest woman in the whole wide universe cause she may have had lost her first love but she had found the true one now.. to last an eternity!
Do leave a comment if you liked my first attempt! Thanks for reading 😳
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