SunShower - The Faux Rain (Novella) - Page 6

Rafi, itna jaldi update! 😲😲😲 Not that I'm complaining. 😃

I don't have anything more to tell you. You know you're awesome. You know you're writing is out of this world. You've written this chapter quite intelligently. The dialogues as well as the thoughts are all very crisp and real and once again I got the feeling that I was standing right there. Totally loved Ali's smart ass thoughts. Kinda reminds me of you. 😛 Loved the play of humour and LOL on DDT, quite innovative. 😆

This time I agree with marauder, the chapter was a bit girly but I guess that's to be expected of 13 year old girls especially 13 yr old girls like the DDT. I got the whole 'OMG' vibe from them, if you know what I mean. 😉 But Ali's comments in between, though mental, made this quite an entertaining read. I know I would have reacted the same way. And I'm damn curious to know how Ali takes her revenge on the DD trio. I hope its something nasty! 😈

Waiting for the next update. You had better post it soon!

Love,
Nidz. 😃

P.S. What is Gitmo? 😕

Rafi di awesome chapter ! 

Thanks people ... ummm .. next chapter will be a lil more tolerable trust me. And seriously .. this is ANYTHING but a chick flick 😆 . And for those of u who didnt know , Gitmo = Guantanamo Bay Prison , one of USA's most controversial detention/interrogation facilities and is used for PoW specially. 

they r after all called FRIENDS for a reason...😆

continue soon..

thnx for PM...

Yo Rafi diii!!!! This stuff here is too good!!! Ur writing is seriously out of the world!!
Ali's character is cool, laid back, no nonsense types nd im loving her!!
The dissection of the name in chap 2 was toh...Lengend wait for it Dary!!!! Ramalingam!! 😆 😆 i jst could stop laughing!! Gosh i miss school! 😔 Nd the chap 3 was full on girly stuff!!! Too cute!!

Waiting desperately for the next chap!!!

Jyotika 😊

CHAPTER 4 - Pest control and the power of pelvic bones !

 

"Are my eyebrows straight?"

 

Farzana was squinting at the tinted windows for a better view of her freshly trimmed hedgerow.

 

Obviously the idiot didn't notice her two friends leave as she was too engrossed in tweezing her precious brows.

 

"Uh, No . they look like a 3 year old with permanent marker was let loose on your face"

Ali snorted.

 

"Oh you wouldn't know a thing about eyebrows anyways, you don't even do yours." 

Farzana was under the impression she was Michelangelo with tweezers. 

"And I wasn't even asking you" 

She threw her head back in a non-chalant air.

 

"Oh ... I had no idea you were speaking to him"

Ali pointed towards the 6" X 4" poster of Gandhi clad in nothing but .. well .. nothing  unless a hastily put together piece of Calico for the purpose of covering the family jewels counts as something. If skirts had micro-skirts, Gandhi was wearing something that could be described as a micro-dhoti.

 

"Oh you ~!" 

The tall girl was fuming.

 

"Me what Farzana?" 

An evil smile played on her lips as Ali inched towards her.

 

"You ... you .. y-o-u .." 

The realization had just hit her ... she and Ali were the only two people in the room. Zara and Asra had left the room while she was busy attending to her brows.

 

"Ahan? Go on?"

Ali relished the terrorized look on her face as she closed in on her prey.

 

"You .. you .. look like a man !!! You're flat-chested ... and you dress like boys .. and your hair is so short and messy ... u don't know anything about looking pretty!"

Farzana said it all in one breath. The bimbo actually thought she'd gotten Ali stumped for once. What with girls being so sensitive about their feminity and all.

 

 

 

 

YEAH RIGHT !

 

 

 

Farzana's tirade made Ali stop and give the deluded girl one long, wary look. She took a step forward and moved in closer until her nose was just inches away from her victim's who had by now sunken into a fetal position against the wall.

 

"Hmmm so I'm flat eh? You see ... I haven't quite mastered the art of stuffing socks down my bra unlike you. As for my hair ... the breeze feels great on my neck. How about I give YOU a haircut?"

Ali said in a dangerously low voice, grinding her teeth for added effects. Was she loving it ? YOU BET!

 

Her eyes gleamed ominously in the sunlight as she suddenly proffered a pair of scissors from behind her back.

 

As Ali's face changed color from red, to green to purple, the cowering form in front of her looked ready to pee. No really, ready to pee. The taller girl tried to flatten herself against the wall as she looked on, fear-stricken, at Ali's face. To her it looked like a de-pinned grenade about to go off any minute now.

 

"I ... I .. please ... let me go ... My hair ...  please don't " 

Farzana looked like someone had petrificious totalus-ed her.

 

The corners of her Ali's lips quivered dangerously.

 

"Not the .. hair ... please ... A-a-a-rab ...  g-g-guys ...  love l-l-l-ong .. h-h-hair"

 

Ali couldn't hold it in any longer. Suddenly she began to shake violently as her body rocked with spasms of laughter.

 

Farzana stood frozen on her ground as Ali cackled on like a maniac.

 

 

 "Run ...  before .. I change .. my mind. " 

Ali  put down the pair of scissors and stepped back, pressing her lips and trying to hold her stomach to keep from doubling over with laughter.

 

If she didn't see Farzana run that day, Ali would never believe any human being could run so fast. Let alone a girl, that too in a skirt so tight, one might as well wear it as a corset. But then again if it was around your chest it would send the ribs of one side into the other like a pair of jaws. So once again, Ali couldn't help but marvel at the sheer power of Farzana's pelvic bones that could withstand such ginormous amount of pressure.

 

Ali's hazel orbs turned darker as she faced the sunlit window and the maniacal glint in her eyes had nothing to do with the Sun she was looking at now.

DDT ... 1 down .. 2 to go.

Edited by SwaRon911 - 11 years ago

LOL this update was awesome. But Ram Ram Gandhiji ke poster ke samne Alizey violence mode mein 😆.  Payback was never this sweet for Alizey i guess.

Loved this update a lot more than the previous one. Ali surely have some kickass attitude. Waiting to see what she will do to other two. 😊
BTW this line was a gem - Farzana was under the impression she was Michelangelo with tweezers.

Regular updates and all, huh? Like you say, iLoving! ❤️

omg...poor farzana...🤣

ali scared the hell out of her...she ran so fast...😆

seems like ali is on the path of payback..😈

continue soon...

thnx for PM...

Rafz u have no idea how much I m enjoying reading this quirky piece of this art of yours & I m loving the character of Ali because she is just like me!!!
And I definitely love ur updates!!!