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Me and My Jealousy
It had been the same theme all day, the two of them getting on like house on fire and he was the one burning. She making things for NK and he wanted to stuff it in NK's mouth just to keep it shut. And Khushi Kumari Gupta needed some sound telling. She was too chirpy for his liking and she added to the fire by schooling NK to have the theme changed. Who did she think she was? He was going to teach her a lesson or two he thought. First, she was not going to ruin his theme and she was not going to be there to ruin his party.
Who was he kidding? He wanted her there. He needed her there. He knew the party would be incomplete without her. She was the reason for his restlessness and also the reason for the peace. And he definitely did not want her having any time with that NK, what if he decided to join her and they have a party of their own. He was seeing green. Consumed by the blinding rage that assailed him, he threw the paperweight in the pool that created ripples that echoed his heart's discontent, as he paced around.
He about to fling himself in the lounge chair in frustration, when the phone rang. Of course, it had to be her.
"Yes," he barked, "Ab kya bolna hai tumhein," he asked without even a greeting.
"Woh hum ' hum ye kehna chahte hain ki' party mein' woh '. desipan nahi hona chahiye?" Khushi elaborated haltingly.
"Kyon?" He was losing patience with her interference and asked in clipped tone.
"Woh hum, kya khayeinge' wahan chaat, jalebi hoti toh' " she started, her mouth already watering with the idea of Jalebis.
"Nahi. Aur waise bhi tumhein invite kahan kiya hai." He then cut the call.
Khushi gaped, staring at the phone. This meant war, she was going to do everything to sabotage his party. Who did he think he was? Her eyes narrowed, making a plan to ruin Arnav Singh Raizada's party. So he did not want her to go to the party, huh! Khushi Kumari Gupta had everything sorted to ensure that Arnav Singh Raizada begged her forgiveness and said, "I am sorry" for not inviting her. She called the caterers, in the morning telling them it was a change of plan and theme.
She got the wine exchanged for lassi, Jazz to bollywood tunes and the last but not the least was the cuisine. What had he said, South East Asian? She was going to do a total desi beat, she then smiled as she thought of the latest her favourite actor Salmaan Khan's song Desi Beat from Bodyguard. Ohh! how she will enjoy watching Arnav squirm. She imagined the whole scenario, first he will go, "What the' What the' " then he is going to storm to the manager and rant to him. She laughed out loud at the scene. She rubbed her hands gleefully and said, "Arnav Singh Raizada, Khushi Kumari Gupta se jeetna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai."
She had involved NK as well and when he heard that Arnav had not invited her, he had asked her to be his date. Date? what was that she had asked and he had said, "Party par jab ek larka aur ek larki saath mein jaatein hain ek couple ki tarah toh usse date bolte hain."
Khushi had felt a twinge in her at that, to be a date of someone and so flashed the image of him, only him. She did not want to go there as NK's date, what will Arnav think.? She was going there to ruin his party not to she stopped mid-thought. "No mercy," she told herself, "Arnav Singh Raizada needed a lesson or two in how to talk to people."
Khushi reminded herself how he had told her she was not important to him. How what had been a momentous event for her, had been brushed aside by him with words that had singed her very soul. The moment that had awoken her femininity, her being had not meant a thing to him. She was made of sterner stuff then melt at the thought of his nearness. She recalled the near kiss just that morning. If it had not been for NK, she would have become weak again, weak to him, weak to herself and that Khushi Kumari Gupta was not going to be.
Arnav cut the call but he also felt he had been too rude to her. Why did he always do this? Why did he say the damndest things to her? When all he wanted was to hold her, kiss her; he went and said what he knew would hurt her. He thought of calling her up and almost dialed then thought, "No, Arnav Singh Raizada maafi nahi mangega. Not again."
The party was all set, Arnav had been assured everything was according to the instructions. Still feeling restless, he saw Aakash bring in Payal who was wearing a black sari with red border looking the blushing bride-to-be. He had organised this party for just this purpose, to give the soon to be wedded couple, the much needed alone time, to get to know each other without the constant monitoring by the parents and the family. He knew how much Aakash loved Payal and how he craved to spend some time with her. And he had happily obliged. He was not heartless, as it was popularly thought. He was considerate and it was good that Khushi was not going to be there as she would also be the "kebab mein haddi" to the love birds.
"Khushi," his mind whispered, she was never far from his thoughts. First, he did not invite her and now he was searching for her, wishing her to appear as if by magic. He walked to the bar and took a swig of bourbon he ordered as he sat thinking of the very person he ought not to. At least it would numb him for a while. As such he had not slept last night. He turned around and saw how everyone was enjoying the music that was playing, Jazz. The sexiest instrument, saxophone doing a beautiful rendition through the speakers and he watched the lovers sway to the music arms in arms. He suddenly saw a vision of him and her, dancing, with her hand on his shoulder and his on her bare waist; wearing a black sari with silver sequins that complimented his black suit and silver tie perfectly. She looking into his eyes as she had done yesterday; he blinked. He then finished his drink in one gulp and placed the glass with a thud. He was seeing things.
He saw her walking towards him, but wait a minute, she was not alone. She had her arm hooked in the crook of someone's arm and she was wearing a red sari looking exquisite. He trained his eyes upwards to see the face and his eyes widened. NK. What was he doing with Khushi? Why were they walking towards him as if they were a couple? "No!" his mind screamed, they were not a couple.
"What the' " he started as they stood in front of him and stood up himself. "What are you doing here? I told you, you were not invited." He minced his words slowly as if he was talking to a dimwit.
Khushi just smiled. NK was the one to reply, "She is my date, Naanav."
Arnav just stood there transfixed with mouth falling apart. Date? He was fuming. His eyes narrowed, he took a step towards her as he felt himself released from the hold, but NK came in between them and said, "Naanav, please, aap meri guest ke saath aisa nahi kar sakte."
NK then turned his back to Arnav and ushered Khushi away. Arnav had been about to follow when he heard someone say, "Cocktail party aur chat?"
He turned around to look and went up to the bearer and asked, "Ye kya hai?"
"Sir, aloo chat canapes," came the reply.
Arnav then walked up to the manager and said, "Kya jalebi bhi hain, dessert mein?"
The manager mutely nodded as he had heard the menacing tone. Arnav clenched his jaws and turned to walk towards where he had seen NK and Khushi go when the lights dimmed and spotlights and the disco globe turned on with the beats of a dhol blaring through the speaker started replacing the romantic saxophone piece.
He knew what was happening. She was behind all this. But before he could take action, the dance started with NK and Khushi doing a thing from some film. He was livid. He clenched his fists and saw red. He waited for a few minutes before he abruptly pulled Khushi from the dance floor and dragged her to the corridor outside.
"What do you think you are trying to prove here?" he seethed, pushing her against the wall and standing only an inch away from her as he bored into her eyes with fury marking his.
"Bolo!" he roared when she did not respond.
Khushi had taken to staring somewhere near the waist coat's button as she knew how angry he was. He was barely contained. His hand holding her arm was digging in and she knew there would be marks to prove how roughly he held tomorrow.
"Khushi, mein tumse pooch raha hoon. Tum kya kar rahi thi, ye sab? Woh bhi NK ke saath milkar? Kyon ab tumhari sagai toot gayee toh naya ameer larka phaans liya?" Arnav dripped acid with each word he uttered.
Khushi looked up at the accusation hurled at her. She could not hide the pain he had inflicted with those words, tears welled up in her eyes; but she could not retort the way she wanted to. She stood there looking into his eyes seething anger and pain at him. Telling him with her eyes of how much his words hurt her, how much he pushes her beyond limit.
"Khushi, jawab do'" Arnav now a little less demented but still adamant.
"Nahin toh'?" she croaked with bravado, lifting her chin up.
"Nahin toh, ye' " Arnav closed the distance between them and kissed her. In anger, to hurt her, to control her, to show her dominance.
But that one touch was like fuel to a smoldering fire. It erupted like a volcano in him and he gathered her in his arms, crushing her to him. He held her head as he crushed her lips with force, to teach her a lesson on how not to challenge Arnav Singh Raizada. How this time she had pushed him to do the batameezee he had threatened he would show her, if she went too far. And she had. But what he did not know, was the onslaught of emotions that would assail him like a tidal wave. Crashing over him and engulfing him in them, churning and sucking him in the vortex. He suddenly did not want to punish her and his hold slackened. His lips softened. He kissed her, the way he had dreamed of kissing her; the way he wanted to yesterday, the other day, everyday.
She moaned when the force changed to softness, when punishment became reverence. She had lifted her arms to push him and now she wanted to hold him. What was happening to her? Was this how it felt to be kissed? A pleasure even in pain?
She opened her mouth so say something and he deepened the kiss. She felt his tongue on her lips, between her lips and touch hers. "Is this what happened when someone kissed you? Did one feel a jolt of electric current pass from head to toe and back up to stop and spread somewhere in the region of her stomach and places she did not know existed with in her? Was this how it felt?
Just when she was going to lean into him when they heard NK call out, "Naanav, Khushi?"
Arnav broke the kiss, and pushed himself away from her. He stared at her with glazed eyes which she realised must be reflecting hers. He pushed his hands in his hair and then simply turned around and walked away.
Me And My Jealousy By Lee DeWyze
I'm thinking about I'm holding you
There's nothing much that I can do
The seconds and the minutes
The minutes and the hours
The future is his and the past is ours
They tell me I should just move on
It's easier said than done
The only thing left keeping me company just me and my jealousy
Lying awake at night
You keep running through my mind
Jealous of the hand that you hold
The city in the winter never seemed so cold
Nothing left of me just me and my jealousy
Just me and my jealousy
You said there really isn't much to say
But we'll be better off this way
So tell me is it better while you're lying in bed
I wonder if you ever think of me instead
Then I got nothing left to prove
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
The only thing left keeping me company just me and my jealousy
Lying awake at night
You keep running through my mind
Jealous of the hand that you hold
Chicago in the winter never seemed this cold
Nothing left of me
Just me and my jealousy
I'm jealous of the pillow where you lay your head
The only thing you're lying with is my regret, my regret
And I'm jealous of the way he says your name
I should of held you tighter but I let you walk away
I lie awake at night
You keep running through my mind...
This needs to end tonight
I can't get you off my mind
Jealous of the hand that you hold
Chicago in the winter never seemed this cold
Nothing left of me
Just me and my jealousy, my jealousy, my jealousy
Me and my jealousy
It had been the same theme all day, the two of them getting on like house on fire and he was the one burning. She making things for NK and he wanted to stuff it in NK's mouth just to keep it shut. And Khushi Kumari Gupta needed some sound telling. She was too chirpy for his liking and she added to the fire by schooling NK to have the theme changed. Who did she think she was? He was going to teach her a lesson or two he thought. First, she was not going to ruin his theme and she was not going to be there to ruin his party.
Who was he kidding? He wanted her there. He needed her there. He knew the party would be incomplete without her. She was the reason for his restlessness and also the reason for the peace. And he definitely did not want her having any time with that NK, what if he decided to join her and they have a party of their own. He was seeing green. Consumed by the blinding rage that assailed him, he threw the paperweight in the pool that created ripples that echoed his heart's discontent, as he paced around.
He about to fling himself in the lounge chair in frustration, when the phone rang. Of course, it had to be her.
"Yes," he barked, "Ab kya bolna hai tumhein," he asked without even a greeting.
"Woh hum ' hum ye kehna chahte hain ki' party mein' woh '. desipan nahi hona chahiye?" Khushi elaborated haltingly.
"Kyon?" He was losing patience with her interference and asked in clipped tone.
"Woh hum, kya khayeinge' wahan chaat, jalebi hoti toh' " she started, her mouth already watering with the idea of Jalebis.
"Nahi. Aur waise bhi tumhein invite kahan kiya hai." He then cut the call.
Khushi gaped, staring at the phone. This meant war, she was going to do everything to sabotage his party. Who did he think he was? Her eyes narrowed, making a plan to ruin Arnav Singh Raizada's party. So he did not want her to go to the party, huh! Khushi Kumari Gupta had everything sorted to ensure that Arnav Singh Raizada begged her forgiveness and said, "I am sorry" for not inviting her. She called the caterers, in the morning telling them it was a change of plan and theme.
She got the wine exchanged for lassi, Jazz to bollywood tunes and the last but not the least was the cuisine. What had he said, South East Asian? She was going to do a total desi beat, she then smiled as she thought of the latest her favourite actor Salmaan Khan's song Desi Beat from Bodyguard. Ohh! how she will enjoy watching Arnav squirm. She imagined the whole scenario, first he will go, "What the' What the' " then he is going to storm to the manager and rant to him. She laughed out loud at the scene. She rubbed her hands gleefully and said, "Arnav Singh Raizada, Khushi Kumari Gupta se jeetna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai."
She had involved NK as well and when he heard that Arnav had not invited her, he had asked her to be his date. Date? what was that she had asked and he had said, "Party par jab ek larka aur ek larki saath mein jaatein hain ek couple ki tarah toh usse date bolte hain."
Khushi had felt a twinge in her at that, to be a date of someone and so flashed the image of him, only him. She did not want to go there as NK's date, what will Arnav think.? She was going there to ruin his party not to she stopped mid-thought. "No mercy," she told herself, "Arnav Singh Raizada needed a lesson or two in how to talk to people."
Khushi reminded herself how he had told her she was not important to him. How what had been a momentous event for her, had been brushed aside by him with words that had singed her very soul. The moment that had awoken her femininity, her being had not meant a thing to him. She was made of sterner stuff then melt at the thought of his nearness. She recalled the near kiss just that morning. If it had not been for NK, she would have become weak again, weak to him, weak to herself and that Khushi Kumari Gupta was not going to be.
Arnav cut the call but he also felt he had been too rude to her. Why did he always do this? Why did he say the damndest things to her? When all he wanted was to hold her, kiss her; he went and said what he knew would hurt her. He thought of calling her up and almost dialed then thought, "No, Arnav Singh Raizada maafi nahi mangega. Not again."
The party was all set, Arnav had been assured everything was according to the instructions. Still feeling restless, he saw Aakash bring in Payal who was wearing a black sari with red border looking the blushing bride-to-be. He had organised this party for just this purpose, to give the soon to be wedded couple, the much needed alone time, to get to know each other without the constant monitoring by the parents and the family. He knew how much Aakash loved Payal and how he craved to spend some time with her. And he had happily obliged. He was not heartless, as it was popularly thought. He was considerate and it was good that Khushi was not going to be there as she would also be the "kebab mein haddi" to the love birds.
"Khushi," his mind whispered, she was never far from his thoughts. First, he did not invite her and now he was searching for her, wishing her to appear as if by magic. He walked to the bar and took a swig of bourbon he ordered as he sat thinking of the very person he ought not to. At least it would numb him for a while. As such he had not slept last night. He turned around and saw how everyone was enjoying the music that was playing, Jazz. The sexiest instrument, saxophone doing a beautiful rendition through the speakers and he watched the lovers sway to the music arms in arms. He suddenly saw a vision of him and her, dancing, with her hand on his shoulder and his on her bare waist; wearing a black sari with silver sequins that complimented his black suit and silver tie perfectly. She looking into his eyes as she had done yesterday; he blinked. He then finished his drink in one gulp and placed the glass with a thud. He was seeing things.
He saw her walking towards him, but wait a minute, she was not alone. She had her arm hooked in the crook of someone's arm and she was wearing a red sari looking exquisite. He trained his eyes upwards to see the face and his eyes widened. NK. What was he doing with Khushi? Why were they walking towards him as if they were a couple? "No!" his mind screamed, they were not a couple.
"What the' " he started as they stood in front of him and stood up himself. "What are you doing here? I told you, you were not invited." He minced his words slowly as if he was talking to a dimwit.
Khushi just smiled. NK was the one to reply, "She is my date, Naanav."
Arnav just stood there transfixed with mouth falling apart. Date? He was fuming. His eyes narrowed, he took a step towards her as he felt himself released from the hold, but NK came in between them and said, "Naanav, please, aap meri guest ke saath aisa nahi kar sakte."
NK then turned his back to Arnav and ushered Khushi away. Arnav had been about to follow when he heard someone say, "Cocktail party aur chat?"
He turned around to look and went up to the bearer and asked, "Ye kya hai?"
"Sir, aloo chat canapes," came the reply.
Arnav then walked up to the manager and said, "Kya jalebi bhi hain, dessert mein?"
The manager mutely nodded as he had heard the menacing tone. Arnav clenched his jaws and turned to walk towards where he had seen NK and Khushi go when the lights dimmed and spotlights and the disco globe turned on with the beats of a dhol blaring through the speaker started replacing the romantic saxophone piece.
He knew what was happening. She was behind all this. But before he could take action, the dance started with NK and Khushi doing a thing from some film. He was livid. He clenched his fists and saw red. He waited for a few minutes before he abruptly pulled Khushi from the dance floor and dragged her to the corridor outside.
"What do you think you are trying to prove here?" he seethed, pushing her against the wall and standing only an inch away from her as he bored into her eyes with fury marking his.
"Bolo!" he roared when she did not respond.
Khushi had taken to staring somewhere near the waist coat's button as she knew how angry he was. He was barely contained. His hand holding her arm was digging in and she knew there would be marks to prove how roughly he held tomorrow.
"Khushi, mein tumse pooch raha hoon. Tum kya kar rahi thi, ye sab? Woh bhi NK ke saath milkar? Kyon ab tumhari sagai toot gayee toh naya ameer larka phaans liya?" Arnav dripped acid with each word he uttered.
Khushi looked up at the accusation hurled at her. She could not hide the pain he had inflicted with those words, tears welled up in her eyes; but she could not retort the way she wanted to. She stood there looking into his eyes seething anger and pain at him. Telling him with her eyes of how much his words hurt her, how much he pushes her beyond limit.
"Khushi, jawab do'" Arnav now a little less demented but still adamant.
"Nahin toh'?" she croaked with bravado, lifting her chin up.
"Nahin toh, ye' " Arnav closed the distance between them and kissed her. In anger, to hurt her, to control her, to show her dominance.
But that one touch was like fuel to a smoldering fire. It erupted like a volcano in him and he gathered her in his arms, crushing her to him. He held her head as he crushed her lips with force, to teach her a lesson on how not to challenge Arnav Singh Raizada. How this time she had pushed him to do the batameezee he had threatened he would show her, if she went too far. And she had. But what he did not know, was the onslaught of emotions that would assail him like a tidal wave. Crashing over him and engulfing him in them, churning and sucking him in the vortex. He suddenly did not want to punish her and his hold slackened. His lips softened. He kissed her, the way he had dreamed of kissing her; the way he wanted to yesterday, the other day, everyday.
She moaned when the force changed to softness, when punishment became reverence. She had lifted her arms to push him and now she wanted to hold him. What was happening to her? Was this how it felt to be kissed? A pleasure even in pain?
She opened her mouth so say something and he deepened the kiss. She felt his tongue on her lips, between her lips and touch hers. "Is this what happened when someone kissed you? Did one feel a jolt of electric current pass from head to toe and back up to stop and spread somewhere in the region of her stomach and places she did not know existed with in her? Was this how it felt?
Just when she was going to lean into him when they heard NK call out, "Naanav, Khushi?"
Arnav broke the kiss, and pushed himself away from her. He stared at her with glazed eyes which she realised must be reflecting hers. He pushed his hands in his hair and then simply turned around and walked away.
Me And My Jealousy By Lee DeWyze
I'm thinking about I'm holding you
There's nothing much that I can do
The seconds and the minutes
The minutes and the hours
The future is his and the past is ours
They tell me I should just move on
It's easier said than done
The only thing left keeping me company just me and my jealousy
Lying awake at night
You keep running through my mind
Jealous of the hand that you hold
The city in the winter never seemed so cold
Nothing left of me just me and my jealousy
Just me and my jealousy
You said there really isn't much to say
But we'll be better off this way
So tell me is it better while you're lying in bed
I wonder if you ever think of me instead
Then I got nothing left to prove
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
The only thing left keeping me company just me and my jealousy
Lying awake at night
You keep running through my mind
Jealous of the hand that you hold
Chicago in the winter never seemed this cold
Nothing left of me
Just me and my jealousy
I'm jealous of the pillow where you lay your head
The only thing you're lying with is my regret, my regret
And I'm jealous of the way he says your name
I should of held you tighter but I let you walk away
I lie awake at night
You keep running through my mind...
This needs to end tonight
I can't get you off my mind
Jealous of the hand that you hold
Chicago in the winter never seemed this cold
Nothing left of me
Just me and my jealousy, my jealousy, my jealousy
Me and my jealousy
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