"Ahemji" Gopi called out softly as she entered the room. "Hmmm" He looked up from his laptop and watched as she slowly walked towards him with a slight limp. The bandages had come off nearly a month ago and though she was still a bit unsteady Gopi had made great progress with all the therapy she had.
She had had a slow journey to recovery and was still on that journey, but along that journey also came the healing of their relationship, Ahem was now convinced of their co-dependency, inevitable for people who live in such close quarters and yet needed because finally he had to admit that they could not carry on this way married and yet distant. They had to either work at it or break it. He could not ignore her existence even if he tried to more importantly he did not want to. This realisation had already taken seed the night she confided in him about her education and he had taken a resolve to support her. Awareness had grown gradually, understanding, attraction... Gopi the perfect daughter-in-law, the child women, her devotion, her simple, yet endearing ways and most of all her endurance and inner strength that just added to her beauty. Yes beauty, He had been aware of that, deeply attracted to it as well but all the revelations in between and the mistakes, misunderstandings managed to take away from it, most of all her illiteracy was the curve ball that shut him down to her. Then living with Gopi had forced him, no matter how he fought against it, to see the strength of character beneath the faltering demeanour, the stead fast belief in human goodness behind the foolhardy gullibility, and most of all the deep love for family and relationship behind all the clumsiness.
They had slowly begun to express to each other in subtle ways and he had started enjoying her company even looked forward to spending time with her, they were on a good and even path when it all came crashing down, the wind was taken out of him, they had nearly lost her in the whole fiasco of Raashi's (Raashi a few profanities escaped him just at the thought of the women) kidnap. The roof caving in, the ambulance, days spent at emergency, the anxiety, the need for blood they were all flashes of memory he still blocked out. The images he blocked out but he knew that it was nearly losing her that had forced him to come to terms with his growing feelings for Gopi. The contradictions that stewed inside him
Finally he bought Gopi home a bit earlier than recommended but she wanted to and so did he. It started with the obsession of taking care of her, the guilt, the sense of duty and then facing his demons... he cared deeply for his wife normal for any man but for Ahem feelings were an unknown territory.. Admitting to himself and re-writing all of his fixed ideas of how things should be and what kind of person he wanted for himself because despite all of the walls he had put up Gopi had slowly made her way through them. She had won over him in spite of himself.
She welcomed him with a smile; she looked after his needs, even bedridden. The last year showed him that she was more braver than he gave her credit for, in her quiet ways he gave him all her attention and now with her accident he had started paying her the attention she deserved starting with medical then to all her needs, when she was bored he provided her with more and more material to occupy her even played games with her. Each teaching each other different games, learning the others interest, he taught her to use the computer, the internet and to find articles and programmes that interested her. They had slowly opened up to each other discussing different topics. Physically too they were becoming comfortable being in close proximity to each other, he helped her with her recovery, was her support for exercise and even massaged her. Truth be told he liked the feel of her and he knew Gopi enjoyed him her eyes were transparent and yet they were to cross that bridge. He was surprising himself... I am falling hard for her''
''Ahemji' she said again now standing near him and shook him out of his reverie, he shook his head and smiled up and raised his eye brows in question.' I err that is'' she still stuttered when there was something on her mind and she was nervous about voicing it. ''sit down" he said and made space next to him, she sat down still fiddling with her pallu, her hand shaking a bit her nervous twitch, he put his hand on top of hers gave them a light squeeze she looked up at him he let his hand remain on top of hers to give her encouragement and then asked ''Gopi what is it" he asked gently...his irritation with her stuttering had been cured once he had started to understand her and now he had tuned himself to speak to her gently and patiently wait for her to gather her thoughts had she not waited for him patiently through all his tantrums and inhumane behaviour to finally understand her and see her for what she was...His gem...
''that is" Gopi said slowly swallowing the bile that was starting to rise, why was she so nervous Ahemji was now her friend nei he was her companion she smiled lightly and looked down at the big warm hand on top of hers... but she needed to word this properly she had given it deep thought and she needed to say it, she did not want to hurt anyone but she had learnt the hard way that some pills even bitter needed to be swallowed
To be continued... pg 2
ch 1 - pg 1
comment:
p_commentcount