The nata lady vs the wife

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

I am a little confused. Forgive me, I am not Indian -- but have spent a lot of time in Indian rural society.

I was a little confused with the social structure -- the lady is supposed to be bharat's wife -- and phooli is supposed to be the nata lady (I assume nata means a live in relationship which has social sanction - I dont really understand how it differs from a marriage though - even after reading on the internet it is not crystal clear to me as to when someone gets married and when someone can have a nata).

Anyway, that is besides the point.

What I am confused about is that it is my belief based on what I have seen that a woman is called a wife only when she can bear a child (I am only talking about village social structure -- not the institution of marriage itself) -- otherwise, nobody really wants a 'wife' who is infertile and just hangs around the home without a child.

So, then they will usually get rid of the first wife if she is infertile -- and then take on another woman, and if that woman bears a child -- then she (in this case phooli) will get the status of 'wife'.

This particular twist in phooli's case seemed extremely unusual to me -- that the infertile wife is still given the status of wife by bharat and his parents -- and phooli is so cruelly used just as a surrogate mother and sort of seen as a prostitute - someone who sells her body for money by calling it 'nata'. he says to her "you are fit only for naata, not to become someone's byaahta"

In most of rural society, the woman who produces the heir is automatically the wife... and any other wife who has no heir is tossed out and stripped off her wife status.

What have i missed here?

Obviously it is some technicality of natapratha that i dont understand... but i think it is very very odd that the mother-in-law and bharat will invite the first lady who has no heir back to their home and give her a wife status again with an adopted child.

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Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

tinoo i am also not very aware of all these things..i never stayed in any village so i didn't know about nata pratha..

but as per my very lil knowledge..in villages or even may be in the cities too..the women who can't give birth to a child r treated badly always..but i have never heard anything like this..that the wife will be called real wife only if she can give birth to a child otherwise she is not the wife..😕

in phooli's case..bharat's first wife will be still called his wife bcoz they got married according to the rituals..and he never gave divorce to her..

but may be u right in some cases..may be in some villages it happens that if the wife is not able to give birth to a child the family and the society as well will automatically grab her wife status, also they can forcibly throw her from the house lyk bharat did to phooli..also after that the person can get married to another woman to get a child...and in this case the husband and the family will always refuse to take the first wife as a "real wife" just bcoz she couldn't give birth to a child..

but all these r illegal activities i think..bcoz once u r marrying one person according to the rituals and the laws u r the spouse of that person untill the divorce happen..🤔 it shouldn't matter there whether someone can bear the child or not..

Edited by monamie111 - 13 years ago

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

Hi Monamie -

thanks for reply. I am not saying that I endorse illegal activity -- but quite frankly in villages, concepts of legality and illegality dont exist as they do in urban areas.

There are just social norms.

Based on simple social formulas (which I have seen) --

mother in law and husband usually turn out a woman by calling her "baanjh" if she is not able to bear a child.

they then go and get a new daughter in law -- and that woman's position becomes very very strong particularly if she happens to produce a male heir.

therefore, what should have happened is that the mom in law and bharat should actually have given phooli a very high status... and the first wife (regardless of her marital status would be thrown out without a divorce). I dont think concepts of divorce exist in rural society.

Here, on the other hand, what happened was very weird (at least to me) -- that the first wife despite her inability to produce a child is called back by both mom-in-law and husband -- and phooli is thrown out.

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Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

A marriage is a social contract - its a long drawn out ceremony and involves the families of botht he bride and groom - In India as in the west. It has nothing to do with child-bearing. True many men desert their wives on account of infertility. Many men also desert their wives because she has only borne female children (This practice is quite prevalent in villages in Northern India). Yet, the status of the wife is undisputed.

A Naata is like a live-in relationship. One pays a compensation to the spouses of each of the partners entering into a Naata and then these two live together. It is not necessary for a woman to be unmarried or widow for her to enter into a Naata. Quite often women are sold as prostitutes by their husbands or other male members of the family to various men under the garb of the Naata Pratha (Naata = relationship; Pratha = Tradition/Ritual)

In this case it could be that Bharat's wife comes from an influential and affluent family and therefore they cannot ill-treat her. Also a widow is traditionally seen as a bad omen and has absolutely no social status or protection. She is treated as fair game by everyone. If you've been following the serial, you would've seen the various types of ostracism and harassment Phooli has undergone. These are not exaggerations, in fact they are a very watered down version of what happens in society to this day. Bharat would definitely not have accepted Phooli as his wife.

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Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: tinoo
Hi Monamie -

thanks for reply. I am not saying that I endorse illegal activity -- but quite frankly in villages, concepts of legality and illegality dont exist as they do in urban areas.

There are just social norms.

Based on simple social formulas (which I have seen) --

mother in law and husband usually turn out a woman by calling her "baanjh" if she is not able to bear a child.

they then go and get a new daughter in law -- and that woman's position becomes very very strong particularly if she happens to produce a male heir.

therefore, what should have happened is that the mom in law and bharat should actually have given phooli a very high status... and the first wife (regardless of her marital status would be thrown out without a divorce). I dont think concepts of divorce exist in rural society.

Here, on the other hand, what happened was very weird (at least to me) -- that the first wife despite her inability to produce a child is called back by both mom-in-law and husband -- and phooli is thrown out.

yes tinoo..u r absolutely right!..no no i m also not telling that u r endorsing ilegal activities..😛 😆

yes u r absolutely right!..it happens in the rural areas..dats what i also wanted to say..yes they r ignorant people..so they don't even know that it is wrong..also very few have the courage to protest against their so-called society rules like nata etc which don't have any legality..

but phooli's case is different i think..the whole thing from nata till yesterday's episode..everything was well planned..they actually cheated her..

bharat, his mother and his real wife planned it..how they will make nata between bharat and phooli telling lie to her and will bring her home just for a kid and after her child will born they will just throw her from the house..will take her child..i think bharat's real wife wanted a child which will be bharat's own child and not the adopted one...so i think she gave him the plan..i can be wrong..but the whole family is involved in this evil plan..

and why they didn't throw the first wife calling her a "baanj"..i don't know actually..may be bharat wants to stay with her..🤢..may be she is from a rich family..😕..all these i m just guessing..😛

Edited by monamie111 - 13 years ago

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: gangubai1
A marriage is a social contract - its a long drawn out ceremony and involves the families of botht he bride and groom - In India as in the west. It has nothing to do with child-bearing. True many men desert their wives on account of infertility. Many men also desert their wives because she has only borne female children (This practice is quite prevalent in villages in Northern India). Yet, the status of the wife is undisputed.

A Naata is like a live-in relationship. One pays a compensation to the spouses of each of the partners entering into a Naata and then these two live together. It is not necessary for a woman to be unmarried or widow for her to enter into a Naata. Quite often women are sold as prostitutes by their husbands or other male members of the family to various men under the garb of the Naata Pratha (Naata = relationship; Pratha = Tradition/Ritual)

In this case it could be that Bharat's wife comes from an influential and affluent family and therefore they cannot ill-treat her. Also a widow is traditionally seen as a bad omen and has absolutely no social status or protection. She is treated as fair game by everyone. If you've been following the serial, you would've seen the various types of ostracism and harassment Phooli has undergone. These are not exaggerations, in fact they are a very watered down version of what happens in society to this day. Bharat would definitely not have accepted Phooli as his wife.

Apart from these two reasons - wife being influential and legal - there cud be a very POWERFUL third reason too. The husband may actually totally adore his wife and think that a kid can be got by other means but I want my wife to continue being the same person. 😉😳

In fact - this is what it seems like the case here. The first wife seems super confident about what she wants and her MIL n hubby are busy placating her.

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The nata lady vs the wife

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