Special Program on Aastha Channel. (Script ready, to be shot and aired soon in future)
BABA RAMDEV: Pyaare Bhaiyo aur Behno. Aaj hum sab milkar, Pranayaam karenge aur saare desh waasio ke sang, pehle se jyaada swasth aur Hrusht-Pusht banenge'''ek baar zor se saans andar leeziye aur AUM..bolke saans chhod deejiye''(Sitting in Padmasana, vigorously moving his both knees)---ek baar movement mein le aayiye dono pairon ko------Shaabaash!!!
BABA RAMDEV (Continues):
Ye Sarkar videshon mein chhupaeye gaye Kaale dhan ke mudde par aur
kaalabaazari ke maamle mein ek dum khamosh hai-------aap sab jaante hi hain.
Aaj Television ke madhyam se, main aap sabko aashwast karna chaahta hoon ki Baba Ramdev Bhrastaachaar ke khilaaf ye yuddh, aakhri saans tak ladega-----..humaare kucch Virodhi, humaare bare mein afvaah failaate hain ki Baba Ram Dev Camere ka deewana hain, Camere ko aankh maarta hai''Bhaiyo aur Behno, Baba Ramdev ki aankh hi aisi hai. Camere ka isse koi lena dena naheen hai.
BABA RAM DEV (Continues): Aaj humaare saath humaare manch par, ek shakshiyat aisi hain, jinhein Camere se koi parhez naheen hai, dar-asal Camere se ye utna hi pyaar karti hain jitna Shahad se Makkhi. Haal hi main inhein aapne bahu-charchit programme BIG BOSS mein dekha hai'naam hai, BEHAN-JUHI PARMAR'..aayiye Juhi Behan ji
JUHI PARMAR (CONSTIPATED EXPRESSIONS, ONE EYE CLOSED): Pranaam Baba ji. Is samman ke liye bahut bahut dhanyawaad.
BABA RAMDEV: Arey Juhi Behen, ye toh humaara param saubhagya hai'..(mutters inside his mind---Mahek Chahal toh Dusht nikli, aane se mana kar diya. Aapko toh mazboori mein bulaaya gaya hai'.)
BABA RAMDEV: Behen Juhi, Yog ke bare mein aapke kya vichar hain'.Yog---.jise angrechi vichardhara waale YOGA kehte hain'.
JUHI (ROTTEN EXPRESSIONS & AK-47 BURST DELIVERY): Swami Ji main ye toh naheen kahoongi ki main Yoga, sorry Yog, sorry, sorry naheen, Kshama keejiye Yog mein bahut paarangat hoon, magar main niymit roop se Yog karti zaroor hoon. I mean, halke fulke Yog vyayaam
BABA RAMDEV (winks at Juhi): Sundar ati sundar'.(Sees Juhi blushing and')''naheen Behen aap nahen, aapke vichar---..(Juhi's rotten expressions promptly return)
BABA RAMDEV: Aap sab jaante hain, Pranayaam ke karyakram ke dauraan, hum aapki swasthya samasyaon ke bhi nidaan karte hain-----..ye patra aaya hai Bihar ke Motihari jile se Behan Angoori Devi ka, jo picchle 10 saal se Gas, Kabz aur acidity se peedit hain''
JUHI PARMAR: Baba, agar aap anumati dein toh main Angoori Devi ji ko kucch sujhaav doon?
BABA RAMDEV (a bit stunned): Aap Juhi Behen??
JUHI PARMAR: Aaan--------- Angoori Devi ji, main khud kayi barson se badhazmi aur gas ki samasya se pareshaan hoon. Aap agar Big Boss show dekhti hain,toh aapne dekha hi hoga ki main poora din khaati rehti thhi. Main real life mein bhi aisi hi hoon, poora din khaati hoon. Swaabhaavik si baat hai ki koi bhi agar poora din tala hua, masaledaar khaana khaata rahega toh jo aapki samasyaaien hain, wo kisi ko bhi hongi. Mujhe bhi hain.
JUHI (Rotten Expression & Rapidfire delivery
continues): Ab Angoori ji, ya toh koi khaane peene ke niyam banaa le,----niyam se
thoda khaaye, khoob paani piye, shudh vichaar rakhe, kam bole, jaldi so jaaye,
jaldi uthe, vyayam kare-------magar ye sab ki kya zaroorat hai agar upaay Yog
mein chhupe hon'..Hai na?
BABA RAMDEV (excitedly): Kya khoob baat kahi hai Behen Juhi ne'..
JUHI (Angrily): Ek minute Baba--------Main bol rahi hoon na? Pehle mujhe apni baat poori kar lene dijiye..please
As if stung by a Cobra, Baba recoils in horror and folds into himself.
JUHI PARMAR: Angoori Devi ji, main apne saath, Big Boss program ki hi kucchh apni tasveere laayi hoon. Kripaya dhyaan se dekhiye aur samajh leejiye ki kaise Bhayankar Gas aur kabz ki shikaayat hone ka baavjood, aap maze se apna jeevan jee bhi sakti hain aur kaise safalta se doosron ki naak mein dam bhi kar sakti hai.
Dekhiye Angoori ji, ye meri pehli tasveer hai, jismein main SHAV-ASAN, ya Dead body type aasan ka thoda sa modification kar rahi hoon. Meri tarah, aap bhi kam se kam 12 ghante, razai taan ke lete rahiye. Is aasan ka labh ye hai, ki doosre aapse baat karenge aur aap:
- Lete hue buzurg lagenge. Aap jaante hain humaare samaaj mein buzurgon ki baat ko jyaada gaur se suna jaata hai. 12 ghante aap chain se ghar ke doosre sadasyon ke khilaaf saazish kar sakte hain aur aapko koi kaam karne ki zaroorat naheen'
- Jitne baar vaayu ka dabaav bane, aap abhyaas karein ki aap bina koi dhamaaka kiye, apni vaayu ko fusss karke vaatavaran mein visarjit kar dein'.
- Dhyaan rahe ki jab koi aas paas baitha hoh, toh naa toh apna kambal-razai hataayein, naa baahar niklein. Agar aapne Gobhi ke paraanthe khaaye hain, toh saamne waale ka sir bhinna sakta hai aur who chakkar khaa ke gir sakta hai'.
BABA RAMDEV (Alarmed): Arey Juhi Behen, ye aap kya'.??
JUHI PARMAR (Annoyed): Aap apni poori baat rakhiye Baba, magar mujhe bulaya hai, toh apni baat poori kiye bagair, main naheen jaungi'.
JUHI (Continues): Haan toh Angoori Devi Ji. Doosra ati uttam aasan hai Utaan-Paad asan. 'Dekhiye Paad shabd par mat jaayiye, aap google par is aasan ki vistaar se jaankaari le sakti hain. Kisi bhi prakar ke Vaayu Vikaar aur kabz acidity ke liye Ram Baan ki tarah hai ye asan. Par ho sakta hai aap merei tarah Moti aur sthool shareer ki maalkin hain. Agar aisa hai, toh aap meri In pictures ko gaur se dekhe aur Uttan-Paad Asan ka ye mera modification try keejiye'.
Jab Bhi Aap Baithen, aise tedhe hokar baithiye, (kabhi theek se mat baithiye warna Zor ka Gas dabaav Pet mein dard paida kar sakta hai'
Hamesha koshsish karein ki Vaayu baahar nishkaashit karte samay, chehre par koi haav bhaav naheen hona chaahiye, warna saamne waale ko shaque ho sakta hai. Main maanti hoon ki saalon ke abhyas ke baad bhi, main khud chehre ke haav bhaav chuppa naheen paati'par meri koshish aur abhyaas zaari hai'
Baat karte hue, khoob haath hilaayein aur haath hilaate waqt, Pet ka dabaav niyantrit karein. Ye theek waisa hai jaisa Saanp ko nachate waqt sapera been hilaata hai'..logon ka dhyaan saanp ki mundi pe hota hai'.waise hi aapka pet koi naheen dekhega'.
Gaur se dekhiye Angoori ji'.
Seekhiye please'.
Aur dekhiye'.kaise kaise haath pair hilaake dabaav banaaya jaa sakta hai'..KABHI BHI, SEEDHE, NORMAL INSAANO KI TARAH MAT BAITHIYE'.Ya letiye ya aise baithiye jaise main in tasweeron mein hoon'.
Jaise hi vaayu ko safalta poorvak nishkaashit karne mein aap safal ho jaayein, aap ek meethi, raahat bhari muskaan fenk sakti hain'
JUHI (Continues with her rotten expressions): Kucch saavdhaaniyaan atyant zaroori hain. Jaise:
- Mooli ke paranthe Bhopal Gas kaand kar sakte hain aur aapke parivar ke sadasya ya Mitra mar bhi sakte hain. Jahaan tak ho sake, agar Mooli ke paranthe khaaye hon, toh razayi ya Kambal ke andar hi rahiye. Baahar nikalna doosron ke swasthya aur aapki izzat ke liye khatarnaak ho sakta hai.
- Ho sakta hai shuru shuru main abhyaas ki kami ki wazah se aapse dhamaake bhi ho jaayen. Niraash na hon.Agar Vaayu nishkasan ke dauraan aawaaz aa bhi jaaye to aisi hi 3-4 aawaazein apne munh se nikaalein, jaise aap ghar ke kisi bacche ya kutte-billi ko puchkaar raheen hon. Turant action lein.
- Agar aapke ghar ya
Group mein 3-4 ya jyaada sadasya hon, toh bina kisi jhijhak ke, aap jaise
hi vaayu nishkashan karein, kisi bhi aise sadasya ki ore, jo doosri ore
dekh raha ho'GHRINA SE, NAFRAT SE DEKHEIN'.doosre jo aapka chehra
dekhenge, samajhenge asli Gunehgaar wo hai'..Ise aap Secret Donation, YA
GUPT DAAN keh sakti hain!..THEEK AISE HI, JAISE IN PICS MEIN MAINE SUNNY LEONE KO APNA GUPT DAAN DIYA HAI...Humaare Shastron mein bhi GUPT DAAN ko mahaa daan ka darza diya gaya hai...😛Dekhiye in Pics mein kaise Sir jhuka ke Sunny ko mera GUPT DAAN apne oopar lena pada hai...kaise sir jhukaaye baithi hai choron ki tarah? Have confidence in yourself Angoori Ji!
On stage, Baba Ramdev faints. Not because of Juhi's lecture but because of Bhopal Gas Kaand. Juhi had 6 Mooli Paranthas in the morning!😭
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