Ok guys time for next Update
so without any more blah blah of mine here we go for
TAMANNA
Part-III
He was sitting out on
bench in garden, lost in his own world.
I came out of Clinic
almost running and sat in the car, when I looked at him for a sec our eyes met,
I feel as he was happy to see me but next second he put on his shades and came
to me.
"What are you doing
here?" he asked in amazement.
"Why? You don't know
what am I doing here? You bring me here and n.."
"Cut it Arpita you are
getting very well what I meant, you suppose to be in right now,.. is there any
complication?" He cut me short in a rude manner but when he said "Is there any
complication" my heart beat hard, did that mean he was concerned for me, our
child, or he had fear for his beloved?
I looked at him puzzled
on his question, he coughed a bit and asked again;
"Arpita, I am asking
something why are you not in?" he asked leaning to my window.
"Because I don't want
to kill my baby." I replied back in taunting manner.
"Stop it Arpita, why
are you behaving like this, be reasonable, after our separation I don't want
any link between us, Its good for you too, You can start a new life after me,
but with a child you can't expect any angle for you to come and accept you with
someone else's child."
He said it all in one
go, this time it sounds like a concern in it, I was amazed on his words, How
can he think like that. Does that mean he was worried for me after separation..
but why should he.
"What?" I said in amazement.
"Come on don't be a
child Arpita, don't tell me you will not marry after this relation, I will
start new life with my love and so will you, some day..(he took a short
pause)Get out of car and go to doctor. I don't want any one to blame to spoil
your life by making you pregnant and leave you good for nothing."
He grabbed my wrist and
pulled me out, so that's what his concern all about his so called reputation.
"You have to think about it before'" I stopped between as I
realized what I was about to say, "I said No, mean NO, I will not kill my baby,
and you don't need to bother about us. Just do me one favor, drop me to your
Home, because I will live there until you don't throw me out forcefully, its
you who want to end this Marriage not me." I was crying and I think this time
he didn't had any reply of my words.
We get back to home or
I should say I get back home as he drop me at gate and left for Office or better to say "to meet his real
Love". I was a real fool, who was finding love in all those lusty nights, He
never loved me, out baby was just a Mistake for him, I was nothing but a wh**e
for him whom he used to satisfy his lust.
All these thoughts were
making me sick, I feel disgusted with my own self, my own soul was feeling
disgusting toward my flesh. I feel sick to enter that room where I find peace
in his arms, the same bed seems like pyre to me, when I sit on it I can feel
how a dead body must feel on its last bed its funeral pyre, What an irony I am
talking about feelings of dead body, may be because I was not more than that.
Suddenly a thought
strike me "If I am not good than dead body why am I breathing, I should stop
breathing too this foolish heart should stop beating now, after all its this
fool who thought that he loved me." Yes I was thinking to end my life, because
life without him was unimaginable for me then.
I was searching the way
to commit suicide I thought to burn my self than I realized Sharad Kaka was
also in the same home he might try to save me and what if he succeed in it.
Then I find the easiest and sure way for it,
I reached at the terrace
of our so called Home, When I get close to boundary of terrace I had to delay
my decision for some time as Kaka was in garden watering the plants. He saw me
on terrace.
"Aree Arpita Bitiya what are you doing alone on terrace.
Tabiyat to theek hai naa!" he asked with concern.
"haan Kaka everything
is fine, just thought to take some fresh air." I lied to him and started wait
him to go in.
Suddenly I heard a cry
from neighbor's garden.
"Kaka what happened who
is crying?" I asked Kaka when he was going to other side of garden.
"Nothing Bitiya! Ruko zara
Hum abhi aate hain," he said and disappered for few seconds in bushes, which
was dividing our garden from neighbor's small garden. When he returned he was carrying
a young boy in his arms.
"Kaka who is this?" I
asked Kaka.
"He is my nephew's son
betiya, they left him for a day with me, they think I am alone here, but I told
them once I get my Avdhesh babua's son I will be the happiest man on earth, he
will be just like my Babua, loving, caring.." he was looking so happy while
talking about our would be son, how happy he would be if I told him that his
expectations were getting shape in me. My eyes turn flooded, I pushed back my
tears and asked him, "What if it s a girl?"
"Aree than its much
better, she will be like you sweet, cute but let me tell you one thing, Avdhesh
Babua loves girl child more than boy, you will not get chance to touch your
baby if it will be a girl. He will take her with him everywhere,.."
He was laughing and
enjoying his imaginations while I was crying badly on terrace hearing his laughter,
but his words gave me new perspective to think.
How can I think to end
my life when I am not alone, my baby is getting shape in my womb, breathing in
me and it never matters for me he loves me or not, he never said that he loved
me, I was always happy to love him from my side, it never affected me he loves
me or not, my love was always enough for me to live in this relation and I will
love him, I will love my baby, I will live for my baby, I can't let him go like
this. He have to stay with me, I don't care if he will have a mistress at
office or anywhere in his life, but at home I am his wife, and my baby will be
his baby, he will love him or her. I have to talk to him, I will tell him that
it doesn't affect me what he do outside but at home he have to be mine and only
mine".
I was confirm for what
I want from him, I didn't want any promise of love or faithfulness, all I want
a promise or word from him that he will stay with me.
I came back to our room;
yes it was our room as for me all those nights which we spend here was symbol
of my love and devotion to him. And my baby was symbol of my love, His love,
our love even for him it was just need of hour.(a tear rolled down my cheek, I
wiped it as I thought that I would not cry now,
"I am waiting for you
Avdhesh ji, my destiny depends on your one approval. You have to be agreed to
stay with me. I will convince you no matter if I need to beg you for that.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
That's all for IIIrd update hope you njyed it😳
plz leave your precious comments😳
Edited by joliefille - 12 years ago
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