"....mere wajah se tumhaare kaam par bura asar pade yeh mujhe bilkul pasand nahin hain by god!"
she glared at him.
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"tum sach mein nahin jaanthi ki tum
bol kya rahi ho...nupur main aisa kya bada kaam kiya hain in teen
saalon mein ? Jo bhi kiya hain sirf isliye ki main sab kuch
...tumhe jaanna hain ki main kyun itna kaam kartha tha? kaise
maine kaam ke saath saath MBA bhi kiya? "
he pulled her next to him. She fell on the sofa and was surprised to see him so upset.
"mujhe aur koi chaara nahin tha
nupur. Agar main padhai nahin kartha, agar main kaam nahin kartha,
main apne aapko 24 hours busy nahin rakhtha, tho main paagal
hojaatha. Meri zindagi main koi maqsad nahin tha. Apne liye kuch
nahin -
"mayank.." she interrupted aware she had unlocked whole range of suppressed emotions. He continued not heeding her interruption.
"agar main kaam nahin kartha tho
mujhe tumhaari yaad aathi thi, main office se ghar pahunchtha tho
tumhaari kami mehsoos hothi thi. Tho main kya kartha? Padhai! Tum
hamesha se mujhpe hasthi aarahi ho na ki mera pehla pyar kitaabein
hain! Tho main unike paas jaatha tha. Kabhi apartment mein itna
akela lagtha tha ki gussa aatha tha. Kyun main tumhaare saath nahin
gaya.meri zindagi mere liye jaise punishment thi nupur. Aur tumhe
tho pata haina mujhe punishment ki aadat bilkul nahin thi."
He smiled grimly. his voice was shaking when he spoke of his time without her. Nupur was shocked to hear him voice out his pain. He stroked her cheeks gently and looked at her as if he couldn't get enough of her.
"tumhe kaise batao nupur. Kabhi kabhi yakeen nahin hota tha ki tum mere saath nahin ho, raasthe mein jaathe jaathe has letha tha aur log mujhpe shayad hasthe the.office mein, class mein sab jagah tumhaare shadow jaise mujhe follow kartha tha. Aur neend nahin aathi thi nupur. Main darr tha tha sone se. Kitne baar us accident ka sapnon se darr ke utha hoon...first year jab main yahaan se gaya tho..."he swallowed a lump,
" sirf accident hi nahin . Us ke baad ke time ka bhi. Maa- maa kabhi bhi mujhe old nahin dikhi thi us se pehle..tumhaare saath saath maa ki smile main mujhe kami nazar aayi. Maine kabhi maa ko itna tootthe hue nahin dekha tha. Jab mere dad humein chodke gaye the tab bhi maa ko mere bare mein itne pareshaani nahin hui thi. Gunjan -maybe wo mujhmein tumhe bhi dhoondne lagi thi. aur tumhaare dad jiska guilty chehra aaj tak meri dimaakh se nikal tha hi nahin. Sab...dia benji sab...uday bhi.. "
He stooped to take a breath.the quiver in his
voice had by now increased. It was as if he was reliving the whole time
he was alone... Nupur sat still taking in all words- said and unsaid-
she knew if she stopped him now he would never speak again about that time..main kya boloon? main kya boloon ki uski dard kam hojaaye.
"mayank , bhagwaan ko pata hota hain ki hum kitna dukh seh sakthe hain. Us se pata tha ki tum sab ko sambhal sakthe the, sambhal sakthe ho."
"maybe. Tumhaare aur bhagwaan ki
zyaada banthi hain shayad. Mujhe sambhalne waala kaun tha? Gunjan ne
mera bohot khayal rakha par pata nahin kyun nupur tumhaare ilaawa
main kisi aur ke saamne dil se baath karne mein hesitate kartha
hoon...par ismein shayad meri galthi thi. Mere gusse ki , bewajah
gusse ki ...apne kismat ka gussa samrat ke upar.. Samrat ! Jo mera
dard ko baantke usse kam karsaktha tha usko maine koi chance nahin
diya...uski galthi hi kya thi? " he sighed .
Jab tak main wapas nahin aaya, excel join nahi kiya tab tak main samaj nahin paya ki main kya karrahoon ?kyun karrahaan hoon?... yahaan excel mein samrat ki haalat dekhne ke baad jab meri galthi ka extent mujhe ehsaas hua shayad tab se mujhe jeene ka ek aur reason mila hain- samrat aur gunjan ko saath milane ka. Par tab tak maine tumhe bhoolne keliye kaam kiya hain nupur. Ab tum mere saamne ho tho main itna kaam kyun karoon? "
Nupur had forgotten what they had started talking about. she had held his shoulder tight and as he locked eyes with her, tears fell down her eyes. Atleast she had known they were alive and fine but...she couldnt even imagine what she would have gone through if mayank was ...she shuddered involuntarily and her heart contracted as she heard him opening up, saying things perhaps he didnt even tell himself.
" pata hain nupur ...main jo bhi kuch acieve karna chahraha tha wo sab ka koi maayne hi nahin rahi. Jo main das saal mein karsaktha tha wo maine teen saal mein kiya par kis liye? Kiskeliye? Nahin nupur...ab mujhe sirf tumhaare saath rehna hain. Har ek pal jo main tumhaare saamne rehsaktha hoon, muhe wohi chahiye ...agar tum nahin rahogi..."
nupur placed a finger on his lips , pulled him to her and held him, his head resting on her shoulder. He let her hold him, let his guard drop. He had had no tears in his eyes throughout. his whole body had been stiff as he had spoken, his arms held straight at his side, his face grim..
She held him in her arms,placing his arms around her loosely. He had no thoughts but subconsciously he knew he was being consoled by her heartbeats that he could hear clearly, by the dried up tears in nupurs eyes , by the hands that moved slowly on his back. He was aware of being rocked , his strength seemed to flow from the contact.He felt peacful as he had never felt since her disappearance
Nupur had forgotten everything , she had never seen mayank so vulnerable. She could only imagine how crushed he must have been then. How much he should have struggled to maintain normalcy in life.
"ab bas karo mayank. jo bhi beeth gaya hain, wo bhool jao."
"tum bhool sakthi ho?" he asked her back lifting his head up.
She didnt reply at once but as he waited for an answer, she said," meri baat alag hain mayank." her voice low.
"kaise alag hain nupur? Mujhe batao. Hum tho sochthe the ki tum nhain rahi par tum tho jaanthi thi ki hum sab hain...tumhe tho aur bhi mushkil hua hoga na."
nupur laughed ,grimly thinking she had felt the opposite . But as she looked at him, she heard someone inside her say- nahin nupur. Us se kuch mat bato. Wo seh nahin paayega. Aur jo beeth gaya usko yaad karke kya faayda. Aur tum kya bologi ?Dhruv chalagaya hain. Ab sirf mayank hain aur mayank ki khushi hain bas.
Mayank shook her," bolo nupur"
"mayank . Raat gayi so baath gayi.
Abh main kuch yaad nahin rakhna chahthi." and when he made to
interrupt," please...yeh exchange offer tho nahin haina ki tumne mujhe kuch bataya tho main tumhe badle mein kuch batao." she smiled
mayank smiled slightly but nodded uncertainly ," lekin yeh bhool mat jaana ki main ab tumhaare zindagi mein hoon."
"tum meri zindagi ho" she replied.
Their eyes met and nupur kissed mayank on the forehead.
"I love you" both said it together, the first time since nupur had come back. And smiled .
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