How to Kill your Husband
(and other handy household hints)
Short Story...
Part 1
Riddhima lived in a male dominant patriarchal family, she was always brought up with a belief that men was the bread winners of the family so we have to respect them and women- hmm lets see, she did get married to love, hoover and obey right? But riddhima was a different species in the house. She always found it absolutely absurd the way her household worked and for that reason she slowly started opposing the stereotypical ideas. But it wasn't easy, she was always bullied and intimidated into accepting their ways and offcourse at the end of the day, she was a girl in the male dominant, intimidating and highly affluent household.
"If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen" riddhima barked while hanging the clothes on the washing line.
"kaisi baat kar rahi hai, pata nahi tujh mein itna zeher kyo bhara hai? Hamara kaam hai ghar sambhal na" her aunty explained back but riddhima simply rolled her eyes.
"yes yes offcourse, after all women marry to love, hoover and obey" riddhima snapped back while gritting her teeth. They're totally brain washed!
"Marriage is a wonderful thing riddhima, you'll know once you get married"
"Marriage is a fun-packed frivolous hobby, only occasionally resulting in death, so by far I have no intention to kill myself. By the way maasi, happy wedding anniversary, you must know am very proud of you that you managed to live like a blind all these years" she wrung the clothes and saw drops of water falling on the terraced floor.
"hey what do you mean by I lived like a blind?" her maasi stood there with hands on her hips.
"Marriage is love, love is blind, Therefore marriage is an institution for blind." Riddhima finished with a cocky smile and went inside the house chuckling to her as she saw her maasi's jaw dropping at her dark humour.
As soon as she went in, she saw her two younger sisters, simin and sarina playing nintento wii on their little TV. She heaved a bored sigh and kept walking around the house, she finally came in front of her dad's house office where her dad was sitting with some clients of his. Mr. Shashank gupta being a hot shot lawyer, he earned a lot of respect along with a mountain of pride and an ocean full of ego. After all it's normal for a man to have so much ego right?
He was sitting in his little office which reeked of cigarette. The office had a computer which had scratched on it, a wooden table which was dirty as usual and the walls had pen marks on it. Now now don't get the wrong idea that Mr. Hot shot lawyer scribbled on the walls. No that is done by riddhima's younger cousin brothers (arey ladke hai yaar, khandan ka naam aage le jayenge) so in short they are worshipped in the house as well. Little bas***ds!
My dad saw me peeking in the office and called me in his same arrogant voice in which he expect all the females of this planet to bow in front of him.
"riddhima jaa sabke liye chai bana ke laa." WHAT? ME?
"i don't know how to make chai" she said honestly. The room burst into little giggles seeing a girl don't know how to make tea. Man that must be some shameful thing. Well that was the whole point of not learning how to cook ;)
"jaa jaisi aati hai, bana ke laa. Itna bhi nahi aata banana." He hissed while dismissing her out of the room with a flick of cigarette in his hand. The only reason riddhima subdue in his all whims and orders are not because she is scared of him, it's because she respects him. Her parents are the only two people in this world who can bend riddhima and unfortunately she is not that insolent to insult her parents old ways.
"as you wish, then don't tell me chai itni gandi kyo bani hai" she huffed into submission and went to the kitchen
After one hour riddhima came into her dad's filthy office with equally filthy coffee *smirk*.
"itni der lagayi, chai banana gayi thi ya ugane (grow)?" her dad offered his kind words as soon riddhima came in the room.
"I went assam to especially pluck finest tea leaves in the world" riddhima replied sarcastically with a sickly sweet smile.
"oh how sweet of you riddhima beta. So shadi kab karni hai, doli kab uthegi? Umar ho gayi hai tumhari" one of her dad's client sweet talked like a trained parrot.
"arthi ka uthegi uncle? Umar ho gayi hai aapki" riddhima replied back and the man spurted out the tea from his nose. Gross!
"RIDDHIMA! MIND YOUR TONGUE!" shashank roared and riddhima slightly shook but controlled herself. No matter what she say, there was always this fear inside her of shashank.
"I am sorry papa. Aage se aisa nahi hoga."
Riddhima saw everyone starting to drink her tea and she stood their expectantly showing an excited innocent smile on her face. The clients drank a sip and their faces turned green. Guys don't even ask what she mixed in the tea. Your weak hearts wouldn't be able to take the shock.
"kya hua uncle chai achi nahi bani?" riddhima asked on the verge of fake tears. Good thing her dad was too busy in some report to drink the tea.
"nahi nahi thik bani hai. You know am diabetic." The client shook his head politely in respect of shashank.
"to bina shakkar ki chai bana kar lao?" riddhima asked sweetly.
"no i am not really in the mood of drinking or eating anything right now." Riddhima stifled a giggle.
"what happened? Why aren't you lot drinking tea?" shashank asked as he tasted the tea himself. "URGHHH riddhima in mein haath dho kar aayi ho kya?"
"not really, i just recycled my pedicure water. You know how important it is to recycle."
"COUGH COUGH COUGH"
"*CHOKING* COUGH COUGH"
"COUGH COUGH URGH"
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Well you see that was riddhima's way to sort her cooking problem out. Itna ganda khana khilao ki agli baar se koi tumse khana hi na ban waye ;) but unfortunately riddhima's mum had to bear for riddhima's immatureness.
"MERI IZZAT TO PANI MILA DI AAJ TUMHARI BETI NE. KUCH TO SIKHAO USSE, KAL JAKE SHADI HOGI TO SASURAL MEIN BHI AISE HI RAHEGI MAHA RANI" shashank bursted out on padma and she listened to him with red eyes.
"mein sikhati to hu par vo saaf mana kar deti hai. Mein kya karu?"
And you all can expect the rest, yaada yaada yaada. It's the same.
'My dad shouts at her FOR NO f**kING REASON, my mum starts crying, then my dad taunts her saying "bas thoda bol kya diya, pani ki tanki khul jaati hai" and my mum looks at him indignantly. You know sometimes I pray to god so bad that i don't get a husband like my dad. He's a brill dad don't take me wrong. You know he didn't even shout at me THAT MUCH for making his clients drink coffee made from my pedicure water (which was funny no doubt) but he's such a tyrant that he thinks that he bought my mum when he married her and he can use her however he feels like. He even made my mum quit her education when she got married as that was khandan ke against. Yeah whatever. You know my mum is so intelligent but unfortunately they made her a house wife also known as the servant and the full time slave of the house.'
Hey but thats not the main turning point of riddhima's life. That was all normal, the biggest shock of her life was yet to come.
"hey mum papa kaha hai? Kahi dino se dikhaye nahi diye?" riddhima came and flopped on her parents bed where her mum was cleaning the room. jeez she's always doing something or the other.
"I don't know, he said he said he went out of country so I'll guess he's gone to dubai for his business." Her mum replied while wiping the dust from the dresser.
"Mum what do you call a women who knows where her husband is day and night?" Riddhima questioned "A widow" she answered herself.
"GO TO ROOM RIDDHIMA. Bohot badtameez ho gayi hai. Theek kehte hai tere papa-"
"iss ghar mein thik sab papa hi to kehte hai, hum sab ko to bolna bhi nahi allowed" riddhima stormed out of the room.
Later that day riddhima heard some noises from mum's room, as she stepped closer it sounded like hiccups and gasps. she banged open the door sensing that her mum was crying.
"kya hua? Why you crying. Is something wrong?"
"your dad..your dad" and broke down in her arms.
"is he alright?" her mum looked at her with painful eyes and spat,
"HE'S A bas***d"
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Riddhima and her mum stood outside building which she wouldn't even think of enter in her natural life. It was brothel...
"Mum you can't be serious. Are you sure dad's inside?" riddhima asked in a shaky voice.
"He called me himself. Lets go and see" her mum's face remained stony.
"see what? Prostitutes?" riddhima huffed to hide her shakiness.
"you'll see"
As soon as they stepped in, riddhima scrunched up her nose. The place smelled of sex! There were posters on the dirty stained walls saying "AVOID AIDS, USE A CONDOM" "ALWAYS STAY PROTECTED" "SMART GIRLS CARRY CONDOMS"
Riddhima quickly turned her head and kept walking up the steps. With each step her fear was coming true but still couldn't grasp the whole truth. Soon they came on the 3rd floor where there were young girls wearing minimal clothes and showed maximum cleavage. There were some locked doors and riddhima could literally hear moans and grunting penetrating the paper thin walls. She stole a look at her mum and could see that her mum was feeling very embarrassed.
'WHAT THE f**k IS DAD DOING IN SUCH PLACE? Surely he's not... oh god. Don't do this to my mum.'
They came in front of the locked door and riddhima's mum reluctantly knocked on it. As soon as the door clicked open, riddhima closed her eyes in fear of seeing something which will change her life forever.
"aao andar aao. Isse kyo lekar aayi tu?" shashank's hissing voice burned through riddhima's ears and forced her to open her eyes which was now burning with tears. There stood shashank with his shirt out of his trousers, a few buttons broken and riddhima could swear she saw a love bite on his chest.
"mein yeh akeli nahi kar sakti thi. Aur waise bhi riddhima ko bhi to mil wao... apne naye bhai se" that statement pulled the earth out of riddhima's feet.
"what the f**k?" riddhima spat before she could control. She scanned the room and her eyes landed on the bed where a young girl sat, not a few years older than her with a baby in her hand.
"riddhima meet your baby brother, abhi tak iska naam nahi rakha hai." Shashank proudly showed off his bas***d son. riddhima's control broke and gasped as comprehension finally dawned on her. one look at her dad's unashamed face and riddhima's all barriers broke.
"OHMYGOD I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MUM? SHE SACRIFICED HER WHOLE LIFE FOR YOUR FAMILY AND THIS IS WHAT SHE GETS? YOU f**kED SOME PROSTITUTE AND GOT A SON SO THAT YOUR f**kING FAMILY NAME GOES AHEAD. HOW COULD YOU f**kING SON OF A BITCH--'" shashank quietened riddhima's outburst by a tight slap across her face. She was still fuming in rage and fury.
"CHUP KAR ISI LIYE PAIDA KIYA THA KYA? What I do in my life is none of your business get it? Yeh hum bado ki baat hai, tu beech mat bol warna'" riddhima interrupted shashank with a laugh.
"warna tum kuch kar bhi nahi sakte papa, and right we shouldn't interfere in eachother's life. SO BETTER KEEP YOUR BIG NOSE OUT OF MINES AND MY MUM'S LIFE!" riddhima roared as her jaw twitched with anger. Shashank just smirked and looked at padma who was silently crying.
"kaha jayegi? Agar meine apne ghar se nikaal diya to tum dono sadak par aa jaoge."
"agar tumhare khandan ko sadak par nahi le aayi to mera naam bhi riddhima nahi!"
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In the other side of the world, a guy was laid out on his round bed with satin sheets crumpled up due to his dirty night's deed. a sharp knock on the door woke him up.
"GOOD MORNING ARMAAN DEAR. WAKEY WAKEY. RISE AND SHINE" the housekeeper barged in the room and started opening the curtains.
"I don't remember saying come in julliet." armaan groaned and pulled the bedsheet over him.
"very rude armaan dear. now c'mon get up. today it's your flight to india. your dad also called this morning asking me about your flight details. he said that this time he'll get you to marry some nice Indian girl" the housekeeper chirped happily while armaan cringed at the M word.
"hey that's not true. I am very happily married for 20 years" julliet beamed her wedding finger.
"exactly my point. A happy marriage is about giving and taking, the husband gives and the wife takes"
to be continued...
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INDEX
PART 1- PG 1
PART 2- PG 2
PART 3- PG 10
PART 4- PG 17
PART 5- PG 30
PART 6- PG 39
PART 7- PG 48
PART 8- PG 60
PART 9- PG 77
PART 10- PG 95
PART 11- PG 109
PART 12- PG 120
PART 13- PG 134
NEW THREAD LINK- Check PG 150
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