MuktaJaiswal thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

Hey frnds, I had been gone for a while, as had a busy mnth at work.

My liking towards GKD and AVITA had encouraged me to write a FF.

It's my first ever story writing so, just feel free to guide me.

As for the story, ah! I like more drama so the story might be lengthy, with more characters.

I tried to create a story basically based on GKD so u may find some incidents familiar to the show. Pls igonore.

I will be waiting for ur comments good or bad.  But the  most impt thing I will looking for is ur guidance and suggestion in continuing the story and ending it with a happy ending.

Updating two chapters of the FF ' TERE LEEYE



Chapter 1 [ pg 1 ]

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1722334

Chapter 2 [ pg 2 ]

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1722334&TPN=2

Chapter 3 [ pg 3 ]

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1722334&TPN=3

Chapter 4 [ pg 4]

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1722334&TPN=4

Precap 1 [ pg 5 ]

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1722334&TPN=5

Chapter 5 [ pg 6]

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1722334&TPN=6




Edited by MuktaJaiswal - 12 years ago

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MuktaJaiswal thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

TERE LEYE

CHAPTER ONE (Part A) (Avdesh Intro)

Chaudhrai Charansingh Degree College, Sarangpur. U.P.

Avdesh hurriedly comes out from the class, and start moving towards the college gate, when Dev calls him, "Avdesh itni jaidi main jaa rahe ho, thoda ruko to", they just finished their last examination paper. "nahi Dev muje jaldi jana hai, ghar jaa kar Haweli keliye nikalna hai." Dev looks worriedly towards Avdesh and ask him if everything is already back at Lallanpur and why is he in such a hurry to back to home, Lallanpur. Dev asks him ' arrey par asi kya baat hi jo tum  jaldi jaa rahe kuch dino main bhi tumhare saath chaluga" Avdesh knows that Dev is not very much interested in coming with him, he asks him that is he really wants to come to Lallanpur ? Dev replies that as it might be the last time when they can go back home he definitely want to come, but after some days. Avdesh tells him that he to go early and he can come later with MA. Dev treats Avdesh's mother Shobha Thakur has his mother.

Avdesh and Dev childhood friends, even their fathers are friends from their childhood. Avdesh's father Sumer Singh Thakur and Dev's father Dharmendra Singh were one of the much respected people in Sarangpur. In last ten yrs they have turned their business from rags to riches. They have made lot of money and are one the top businessmen in the city. Avdesh & Dev will soon join them in their business, after their final exams are over in six months.

Lallanpur, a small city where Avdesh has a different personality then that in Sarangpur, here he was 'Bhaiyaji' a very powerful person. To whom everyone was afraid. Not only the common people, but small businessmen, cops, local politicians wouldn't dare to go against him. Avdesh has never done anything illegal, but still he owns majority places at Lallanpur, which he had taken forcefully from "Lallsingh".

Emily is shock to hear a bang at door so late night, but to her surprise she sees Avdesh standing in front of her. Bhayaaji aap? Aap akele hi aye Amma nahi aye? Emily the maid at the haweli, was surprised to see Avdesh at this hour, at midnight. Chulbul, Phalwan and other frnds of Avdesh at haweli were surprised and happy to see him.  Next morning Avdesh woke up early and was off with his frnds.

                                                                    

CHAPTER ONE (Part B) (Arpita's  Intro)

 

Saraswati Sadan, Lallanpur

Arpita jaldi karo beta Manjari kabse entajar kar rahi hai, college keliye deri ho jayege. Arpita's mami was calling her. Ha mami do min main aarahi hu, Arpita replied.

Arpita Rai, SY student of NGDC Girls College, Lallanpur, staying with her Mama-mami in Lallanpur. Arpita's mama a college professor and mami a housewive like her mother. Arpita's parents had sifted from Lallanpur to Sarangpur when she was a kid , but she was very emotionally attached to her mama-mami, and so she stayed with them. Arpita was very beautiful and simple girl. Her only close friend manjari, to whom she used to tell her all secrets, but there was a secret which Manjari was still unaware of.            

Before Manajri arrived Arpita was getting ready for her college, she was very restless about something and just talking to herself " aajse exam chalo ho rahe he, hamare pass jayada din nahi hai. Lekin ees bar chahe jo hojaye hum apko apni dil ke baat bata kar hi rahge. Hame to yehe lagta hai ki aapbhi huse wohi kahena chate hai. Gahr jane se phele hum apko sab kuch kahe denge". As she was busy in her thoughts when she heard her mami calling her. Manjari wating for Arpita, being to question her, kitne deri hogey hai Arpi, kya kar rahi thi. Aajkal tuje kya ho gaya ahi. Padai to teri puri ah to exam ka to koi tension nahi to phir kya baat hai.? Kuch nahi baas huhi, ab chal nahi to hume teri wajase deri hojayegi!

All the way from Arpiat's house to their college, Arpita was very quite, she didn't, replied much to Manjari which irritated her. Manjari was the one doing all the talking. Arpita was in her own thought. As the girls came near the college, when Arpita seeing something made her smile. Arpi ab kya hua kyu muskara rhai hai, mai apni tension kaha rahi hu aur tuje hassi are rahi hai,Manjai questioned her, but Arpita stood blank in front of her, ask she not at knew what manjari was talking.

Edited by MuktaJaiswal - 12 years ago
PristineSoul thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
*edited*

loved the concept di..

you've written it very well..

waiting to see what happens next..




Edited by KriYa_life - 12 years ago
PristineSoul thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Di.. Pls Send Me A PM when U update next.. Im adding U to My Buddy List.. Luv Ya..
MuktaJaiswal thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: KriYa_life

Di.. Pls Send Me A PM when U update next.. Im adding U to My Buddy List.. Luv Ya..

 
Luv u 2 dear . i have added u to my buddy list. But i have been telling all of u that I am very new to this chatting and also due work, not in regular touch. so pls. igonre if i do something stupid.
as if now thanx for u help.also tell me how  can i send u a PM for the next update.
PristineSoul thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Di, Thanks kis liye? For PMs, U just hav to copy the Link of the Page & send.. Or A simple Msg saying that U hav updated.
yoga23priya thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Hey Mukta di 🤗

I am sorry for editing my post late 😭 😳

Actually i am kinda berry berry lazy to edit my comments...you can ask anyone 🤣

Congrats for first FF 🥳


I just loved the intro of Avita 👏 👏 👏

both are very interesting...😳

please continue soon 😳

love you 🤗

PS I editing my comments before GJ 😲🤣
Edited by yoga23priya - 12 years ago
MuktaJaiswal thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
got to go Chapter two will post later.
Cuty16 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
Congrates for the ff dear.
Intro was realy nice hope,
will wait read further.
chatterbox thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
hi mukta how r u dear


yaar my prb is ffs confuse me so i dont read them// u can ask others also

keep it up i just read a bit