Originally posted by: daya0628
haha omg yeah in this one Gaurav's character and personality overrides D ...but MR forever best in looks departments 😆😳
oh gotcha ...good/wicked 😆
yeah ours happen one day ...not much ...and the there is some rituals but nothing that needs me to wear such outfits :P
Originally posted by: tinkerbe11
Yeah heavy and sick are always 2 words I use which mean wicked lol. 😉 Oh dats kinda kwl u no, we got 7 days, or 5 depends on the person getting married. 😊
Originally posted by: daya0628
Yeah i know ...we sri lankans do it diff than indian tamil weddings...altho majority even in india is one day ...not that long...and the rasams they are not that big...most of them happen in the same day
trust me it is, evn if ur 1 urself u shudnt say it aloud in public neither across a forum...Originally posted by: mIsHeZ.x
hw cn it b racist wen am 1 myself lol...wil edit it tho
Chapter Thirty Eight
'When Tomorrow Starts Without Me'
It had been two weeks, and Naku had still been in shock from the whole scenario regarding Roopa Tai's death, witnessed a while back. She and Dutta hadn't met eye to eye, since that time. Naku was no less than a living corpse. Food refused to be swallowed by her, it didn't seem to matter.
She was taken back to Patil Niwas; however, Saab had had issues with coming to terms with the torture Naku was put through because of him. And she herself, had a difficult time coming to terms with Roopa Tai's death, and of course her one night stand with her Saab.
Dutta remembered Baji telling him of the situation with Morey and Chasker, back in the hospital, during those few days of hell. When Dutta had found out that Naku had been in hideout the whole time, he remembered her words, when she first came into his house, 'Bappa ne mujhe yahan bhej kar meri raksha ki hogi', was what she had said. It had not made sense to him then, but now he could see reason clearly.
Some time back, when girls were being picked up from the basti, Nakusha was the very girl they were intending to hand over to that Inspector. They had mentioned that her family had kept her hidden, but of course she was kept in Patil Niwas because of the accident her father had caused. It all made sense now.
Morey was blackmailing her and her family, and had teamed up with that bas***d Chasker. Together they were to sell Nakusha off to Dubai, unless her family paid up five lakhs, which is why Ganpat had tried to claim money from Dutta himself, by coming under his car. That was where Dutta had come into the picture.
Through Gaurav, Baji had found out about Naku's past, and how Roopa Tai was forced down the road of prostitution as she wanted to provide a healthy future for her younger sister Naku. Naku who had always looked up to her Tai for every small matter, was now dead because of Dutta, this tiny detail continued to torture him mentally every second of the day. Roopa Tai had made it clear to her family that she wasn't to be located under any circumstances, but Naku didn't know how to obey, and set out to look for her anyway.
Naku was a lot more naive when she was younger, she hadn't realized all the bad things in the world, until the day she entered his life with her fragile self. It was like she was made of glass, and had entered a town of people who were made of stone, forever ready to break her, the minute she clashed against them.
First some guy called Raju had his evil eye casted over Naku, which is why Roopa Tai had left in the first instance. Than due to some incident regarding Seth Ji's anti-social behavior Naku had crossed paths with that sleazebag Morey, who had seen Naku's real identity for the first time, and had wanted her ever since. Apparently, Babi had put forth a deal before Naku that she would forever abandon her qualities including her good looks, and the colour of her beautiful eyes, if she wanted to look for her Tai in Mumbai. And of course Naku agreed in a jiffy. She had disguised her beauty from the world as a compromise made with her Mother, who was afraid of losing her daughter to the clutches of these evil men who lurked in the basti's, and till date it had done her wonders.
Dutta had always suspected her means of dressing, as he always knew in hindsight that Naku's final attempt was always to look unattractive, but even than her decent qualities weren't invisible in Dutta's sight.
Naku had adopted her dark colour since she was around eighteen, and had endured nothing but pain since. But to some extent it was a boon in itself. The second she'd revealed her true beauty it hadn't escaped Dutta's greatest enemy yet, who had eyed his Naku with lust. Ever since she'd come into Dutta's life, a whole new archive of problems had made way into her life, on top of all her problems. Dutta had bought physical pain into the equation, which she suffered endlessly without complaining.
During the whole time she entered Patil Niwas, his home, all she got in return was suffering. He dragged Naku down the only road he'd travelled, and that was of violence. At first she was only there to take her Father's place and was ready to carry out his punishment. Then she was accused of helping Supriya run away, and had as a result got married to Dutta to suffer even more by his very own hands.
But just when Dutta had thought things were getting better, as he grew to love Nakusha, he was made to realise that life was no fairytale. He now understood Naku's hesitant nature towards Dutta's second proposal. Somehow she felt responsible for hiding the truth behind her colour, from Dutta, and wanted to reveal the story of her helplessness through the story-telling of her staged dance, and at the same time arrange for the money to pay off Morey. She tried to tell him her beauty was a curse, but at that time he couldn't understand.
After all this, how could Dutta forgive himself? How, the truth was he had never given Naku a chance to explain anything about herself to him.
If he hadn't known what he knew now, due to Baji and Gaurav, Dutta would never have known the depth of Naku's suffering. And now the last straw was definitely the fact that he had caused the death of his own love, he had watched her die. Nothing could be worse than this for any man in the world, who has truly loved from the depths of his heart. These words ate through him like a virus.
If he remained in her life, than he would surely bring her nothing but sorrow, the past was clearly witness to this. He'd decided the further he stayed away from her, the safer she'll be. As Jagtap Dada once said, 'it's only a problem, if you see it as one.' He was right, thought Dutta, I am the biggest problem in Naku's life, and now I won't interfere in her life no longer, my punishment for making Naku suffer is to stay away from her, the longer she remains with me, her wounds will never heal, her grieving will forever remain endless.
That day when Naku came back to life, he asked himself a question; whether Naku would still be able to love him. But somehow since that day, he knew that it wasn't Naku's forgiveness he sought. It was his own, since that day he couldn't look himself in the mirror, his very image was beginning to taunt him. He couldn't bring himself to look into Naku's eyes, although he was monitoring her from afar. Her fair face had made it even more difficult to ignore her, the day he'd discovered her beauty, he weren't allowed to express himself to her, he hated the fact that he couldn't walk up to her and tell her to her face, that she was a breath taking beauty. A few weeks ago, things were so different.
Only a few days ago, he was the only man in the world who had this right, and today he was the only man in the world who could not state this simple fact. Dutta always thought of himself to be on the betrayal end, but today he realized how wrong he was, because if there was anyone or anything to blame it was without doubt his anger, which he knew was not in his power to control. This would always stay with him, and while his anger and hatred nurtured inside of him, he will always indirectly be hurting Naku. Therefore the decision was made, once she was better, he would have to let her go.
When someone is down, it is always a much wise choice to kick them further down. Ab dekho jo bura na samjhe jo bhala na samjhe, woh Kalavathi ko kya samjhe, said Kala. Dutta had no weaknesses up until today, but Nakusha came into our lives like a wild card, and changed everything. One person, just one person, she repeated, had used that weakness against him, and managed to shatter Dutta to such an extent, that he's made room for our attack with time to lay out a red carpet, she celebrated and mocked at the same time. While Dutta is in his downfall, and busy playing Devdas, we should use this opportunity tactfully. And no one will even suspect us, she said while toasting her glass with Sudarshan's. I want you to take all my orders, and get the models in, get me all the fabrics imported as soon as possible, and then the show will begin.
Baji, Gaurav and Babi had thought it to be a good idea to introduce Roopa's daughter to Naku, as this may let Naku release her emotions upon seeing her. Rupali seemed to be fairly calm, the household members were not sure if Rupali had come to terms with her Mother's death or not. But all the adults feared to say something in that matter. It was like she was an adult in a child's body, kids these days were often strange, but intelligent, and dealt with things their own way, when matters like this were concerned.
As Naku sat clutching onto a pillow, she stared at the blank wall. Until her eye had caught a short figure standing near the doorway. Her eyes widened at the sight of this child. The moment she laid eyes on the young girl, she could feel her eyes finally fill with a bit of moisture for the first time in many days.
Upon seeing her she couldn't help herself from uttering the words Tai... it was no short of a miracle witnessing a shorter and much younger version of her Tai. She needed no introduction; this girl was definitely something to do with her sister. But when Gaurav took the courtesy of introducing her as Rupa, Naku was shocked by the name.
Yeh Roopa Tai ki beti, Rupali hai Naku... said Gaurav a second time.
Rupali nahin, Rupa, corrected the child, meri Ayi mujhe sirf Rupa ke naam se pukaarti thi.
Naku went into a sudden trance. Words echoed in her head, almost whipsering, 'aaj se Roopa hamesha Naku ka khayal rakhti aayi hai, par aaj se Naku, Rupa ka khayal rakhegi, tu rakhegi na khayal Naku.'
While remembering these words, Naku edged back moving away from the group. Rupa... she whispered vaguely. As she moved back and sat on the bed. But before anyone could come close to console Naku, she'd got up and rushed past them in a whiff. She backed them off with her face expressions, and simply said, I just need to go for a walk, please, she begged through her tone of voice tone, and left.
Gaurav and Baji didn't know what to say, they knew that this was a little progress then before, as she had made no contact with anyone since she'd arrived home. Although she slept in her old room with her Mother, Dutta was restless the whole time. He told Baji that he didn't want her to see him, as she may be reminded of that tragic night, when she lost her faith in him along with her sister. The look in Naku's eyes had printed itself in his mind, that look of disappointment in him. That was the moment when Dutta feared whether Naku would love him because she will want to, or because she'll have to.
As Naku rushed out of Patil Niwas, she choked in the air, as though she was finally breathing in oxygen for the first time in days. She walked endlessly without thinking where she would go. Looking around her while walking; it was almost as though she was searching for something. Her soul was aching, paining, like something was missing, and the search for it would never begin, because there was nowhere to search. Nowhere to look for her Tai anymore. Praying every day for the same thing had become such a habit, that since Roopa Tai left her, she felt like she'd been abandoned on a crossroad, with no destination before her. Everybody around her kept telling everything would be okay. It was there duty, their way of consoling her, to tell that everything would be okay, but the truth was the people around her knew nothing would be okay, everything had changed.
(Please click here for Naku's soundtrack, Every step I take - By P Diddy, ft Faith Evans😉).
She walked hopelessly in the only direction she knew, Ganpati Bappa's mandir. She stood at the steps, her feet not ready to take a step further, and she froze. She wasn't ready for this, she wasn't ready to pray to Bappa yet, for something she begged him for, now belonged to him. The sound of that was unfair.
When Roopa Tai's daughter stood before her, she knew all the vague images in her head of a mysterious place, wasn't just her imagination. Since she'd arrived at Patil Niwas that was all she could think of. Trying to make the pieces of the puzzle fit, but nothing made sense, how could she communicate with someone who had died right before her eyes.
Then the images of Saab's story had made way into her thoughts. She hadn't realized the point she took herself to the talaab Baji had introduced her to once upon a time. She stood there aloof.
Baji had called Dutta to let him know of Naku's somewhat progress. He also informed that she'd left suddenly, but Dutta had already spotted Naku, walking in the direction of the mandir. He trailed her in his car, from afar, and watched Naku's strange behavior as she refused herself entry into Bappa's mandir. He hadn't dared to approach her, however, this proved to be one of the hardest things Dutta had fought with till date.
He could see, even feel the pain which Naku was enduring, and he knew if she was forced to face him then she would only be pained further. He followed her back to the talaab, which he didn't remember showing her, and observed from a distance. The next scene that followed was by far the hardest to watch, as he saw Naku breaking down all alone, while the sun set around her. She stood quiet for a long time, with her back to him. But then suddenly she crumbled down to the floor, where her state looked uncontrollable, this was the first time he saw her cry since the time she came home from the hospital. His hands clenched into a fist, as the other gripped onto the steering wheel retaining tension on his wrist, while throwing his head back in frustration. He was helpless, and he had no one to blame but himself. At first he thought getting used to her fair face would be difficult, but as time flew by, he realized all the things that remained the same, her voice, her eyes, her classic frown he loved, her hesitation, her way of saying Saab, it was the same, the truth in her voice, nothing was different, because the fact of the whole situation was that he never fell in love with the obvious, it was the little things that made the big difference to him, so if her face didn't matter then, it wouldn't matter now either. But it was too late to take that decision now; other things had got in between them regardless.
Naku gathered herself, as she came to terms with her Tai's death. She'd cried her heart out, she remembered all the faint voices in her head, and realized that it was the good moments in life that she had to move on with, it was indeed her Tai's voice that had reached Naku even after death. Their bond was so strong, that her inner voice was able to reach Naku. Just then, awareness of all her Tai's sacrifices made for her ran through Naku's head. Time after time, Roopa Tai, had went to extreme measures to help Naku achieve whatever it was she desired, but why was it only the negative things that stuck out more. Simply because she let them, as she remembered Jagtap Dada's words about dealing with a problem, because you see it as one. The problem was not that her Tai slept with her Saab, because Naku knew if her Tai had known what Dutta had meant for Naku, and vice versa, then the this would never had taken place. Besides the obvious point of Naku not being a part of Dutta's life at all. Saab had bedded many women, her Tai was no different from any of them, she was just another pass time for him, Naku was his life, and she knew that now more than ever.
After understanding the circumstances her Tai had survived in, the bitter truth was that she had a better life, up there, she decided as she looked up towards the Sun rays breaking through behind the clouds.
A new day had begun, a new life was given to her, and she would make sure that she cherished each day as it came. Tai's memories won't be hard to remember, for each day will start the same again as it had since you left, I will still pray for you Tai, and from today Naku will look after Rupa, who will live the life you never got to live, and this time it's my responsibility.
Naku knew Saab was finding the circumstances created by unfortunate events difficult to cope with, but she wanted so badly for him to know that nothing mattered in the world anymore except him. She wished she could tell him that there was nothing he needed to lower his eyes for, her love for him today was as unconditional then it ever was. Her flame of love did not quiver, it only grew more bright and determined, as each moment passed.
He was a good man, he defended Roopa Tai, and kept her child safe for as long as he could, he couldn't turn back the past, but he certainly acted responsible for the things he did wrong. For that his Naku could never hate him.
Darkness was beginning to take over, and Dutta could see Naku seemed calmer than before. He called Baji and told that idiot Gaurav to collect Naku, as he could comfort her right now, she needed a friend, and there was no one better than Gaurav. He hated this more than anything, but right now this wasn't about him, it was about his Nakusha.
Over the next few days, everyone had gotten on with daily chores, and slowly Naku was coming out of her depression. She knew she needed to give Saab time, and decided to give him space for some time.
A pooja was arranged for the peace of her elder sister the next day. Preparations were being made, while Dutta had blown up a picture of Roopa, especially for Naku, but had told Baji to gift it to her instead. Naku knew right away it was her Saab's idea, and was overwhelmed by the thought of it, but remained thankful to Baji as a front. She also teased Baji about the words uttered by the boy from her dream, regarding the ladoo's, which made Baji slightly nervous and edgy. He was seen trying to place a few ladoo's in and around the house, which was quite amusing to watch, stupid as it looked, he carried on. Word had spread about Naku's experience with life after death, and even Dutta was seen praying to Bappa on the odd occasion very quickly, when nobody was looking. It was obvious he didn't want anyone to see him bowing his head before Bappa.
The day of the pooja had arrived, and also the day for telling Babi to take Naku away from Dutta himself too. He knew this was in the best interest for Naku, but he had not discussed this news with anybody yet, and nor did he intend to.
Dutta's state was terrible, his stubble was overgrown, his eyes were almost always red these days, he had forgotten how to smile, that he hadn't even bothered to try. He barely spoke with anyone; he went to work and came back, without any form of communication with family members. He hadn't looked at Naku in days that he would often try to remember how she looked making pictures of her in his mind. For he knew that was all she would remain once she was gone, a memory in his life, perhaps one of the best.
She'd taken his heart, and would never have a clue on what she'd done to him. It was like she was a blessing in disguise, but only for a short while, only God knew that I was the biggest fool to believe that I could even attempt to keep her happy. I'd known all along that she was out of my league. But yet I let myself carry on and believe I could be loved, and love in return. The idea to carry on with life without her was insane. He couldn't even look her in the eye, and convince himself that she could ever love such a man like him, and he was a fool to believe any of it could be true.
As everyone had gathered in the main hall for the Shanti paath, wearing discoloured clothes, they took a moment to mourn and grieve. But Rupali hadn't cried at all, she let a few tears slip here and there, but she was never hysterical, unlike Babi and the rest of the family members. It was like she knew this day would come, and had already braced her for this day.
Others were shocked to see such a strong minded child; it was truly a surprising sight. But that wasn't all everyone was surprised about, before everything was over, she stood up and announced that she wanted to make a speech, dedicated to her Mother. Baji had quickly given her consent, and allowed her to go ahead and read her pre-prepared sheet of paper.
All eyes were on her, some trying to control their muffled cries, and others stared on in curiosity. Naku watched in wonder, as the little familiar face spoke out confidently. Dutta watched with guilt, as he knew this child was orphaned because of him, but yet she stood there looking a hundred times stronger than him.
(Kal Ho Na Ho Instrumental - reading at a very relaxed pace. Please play this music, you will not regret it. It deepens the effect and meaning of the poem/speech ahead😊)
Dear Mummy, I know you are listening to me when I speak, said Rupali as she stared at her creased piece of paper in her hands while all eyes were on her. I remember the time when you said, that one day you will be forced to leave me, but told me that things like this happen all the time. You said it was up to me, to keep you alive in my memories and in my thoughts. I promise you Mummy that I will never forget to remember you. You always spoke of a life for me, where you didn't involve yourself. As she spoke these words, she let out a cry but continued with new found strength. Her voice was still shaky, but she was confident with herself, it was like she was trained to be strong. ...Mummy you told me it would all be alright one day, and all the bad things will end, and I believe you, because I know you would never lie to me. You always told me that one day you would go away. You didn't lie. You always spoke of a time 'when tomorrow would start without you', and I would always in return say, what if tomorrow never comes, and then things would be alright. But you never ever said anything after that...
This is for you Mummy, I've put together all your words into poem, just so you know I always listened to what you said to me, and will always remember the time when you said;
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
She finished, while looking up confidently and folding the sheet of paper in half and then half again, she turned to walk away while wiping the few tears that tasted of salt on her lips.
'Every step I take', is a song that touches my heart specifically, as P Diddy, sang this song dedicated to his friend Notorious B (God rest his soul) who got shot in a shootout in his car. p Diddy was unable to come to terms with his death, and shut him off for a month. Until one of his good friend's told him to get together and come out of that dark room and just sing his heart out for him to remember him by. His friend's words were that Notorious B would be so upset if he saw you in this state today, grieving don't show respect, living with that person's memories every day and never forgetting them, being happy, is what would make him happy, up there. 😊
So this is why I used that song, which I love for this reason even more, and the thoughts that went behind it.
Kal ho na ho music however, holds a different feel, one that makes you question yourself, look at things you do every day, and wonder to yourself if they're enough, or do you need to be doing more. A piece of music that lets you appreciate the moments you have in life today.
As most of you know the riots in London are very disturbing, and it was a little difficult to get my head round to this, 😳 but now it's here, I hope you guys enjoy this one, as much as you have the rest.
A deep thank you to everyone reading, and please do press like. 😊😳
Originally posted by: mIsHeZ.x
thnq u tink 4 d update...rely needd it .. luv yuhh xxx
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