These days I am missing MayUr terribly and as a result such random thoughts keep poping in my mind.
I am too nervous to post this but the appreciation that u guys gave me on my last OS has encouraged me to post this.
So please bear with me and please do leave ur comments.
U ARE MOST IMPORTANT
Their journey back home was in complete silence pondering over the things that were happening in their life and the events that were to come in future. It took them half an hour to reach home but there was not a single word exchanged between them. They unlocked and entered their home. No one was in a mood to talk to other.
Nupur went to freshen up while mayank tried to sink in what had happened in past one hour. Their life was at crucial point where he needed to take the charge of all the events happening in their life. Not for a second he was in a doubt that what he has to do but he knew that it would be a very difficult task to convince her. Bcoz he himself has reached at this decision with so much difficulty. But he had to do this for her, for them. He was just not getting the words to tell her what he has decided but he knew that he have to be strong. He cannot breakdown at this time. Nupur came out from the washroom and said'
M: Maine soch liya hai aur isliye main kal hi ki doctor ki appointment le raha hoon.
N: Nupur was stunned. (Tears started flowing through her eyes) Nahi mayank main aisa nahi kar sakti. Tumne yeh soch bhi kaise liya ki main raazi ho jaaungi. Vo mera hissa hai vo hamara hissa hai main abortion nahi kar sakti.
M : Tum janti ho tumhari condition kaisi hai. Tum janti ho ki doctor ne kya kaha phir bhi tum ye keh rahi ho.
N : Mayank one thing is for sure ki mera bachcha iss duniya mein aayega aur rahi baat meri toh mujhe kuch nahi hoga. (she was very sure and determined about the first part of her sentence but was very unsure of the next half)
M: Main itni badi risk nahi le sakta nupur. Tum janti ho ki tum mere liye kya ho aur Isliye maine yeh faisla'.. (But he was cut in)
N : (She was not ready to listen to a thing she raised her voice and said )Tum akele iska faisla nahi kar sakte. Aur jo tum keh rahe ho vo hargiz nahi hoga.
M : He knew that she needed time to recover from the shock and her anger was just a way to vent her helplessness but now he was also loosing his patience because though he was acting strong but he also needed time to recover from the biggest shock his life had given him. He shouted back Fine jo karna hai karo waise bhi tum meri baat kabhi sunti ho kya jo aaj sunogi.
Saying this he left the room in anger and she just stood their fixed but tears continuously flowing through her eyes.
She went and sat on the swing in their balcony. She remembered the day when they came to know about this
It was a night time. All the stars shining brightly and the moonlight was soothing their eyes. Both were seated in a swing. His hands around her waist and her head resting on her chest. Both were just cherishing their togetherness and sharing the joy that was soon going to grace their life.
M: Thank u nupur. Thank u for everything.Thank u for coming into my life and thank u mujhe itni saari khushiyaan dene ke liye.
N : She was smiling widely and just said Mayank, I Love u.
M: I love u too. But ab tumhe apna poora khayal rakhna hai. Time pe khana, Time pe dawaiyaan, Time par exercise. Koi laaparwai nahi. Waise main hoon na agar tumne zara sib hi laaparwayi ki toh main tumhari achchi khabar loonga.
This is feeling so good.Finally mujhe koi papa kahega. Hamare ghar mein bachche ki hassi gunjegi. Koi mere ungli pakadkar chalna sikhega. Main uske saath khelunga usse garden le jaaunga usse school bhi main hi choodne jaaunga usse padhaunga bhi main hi.Aur pata hai jab vo'..but suddenly he realised that nupur was unusually quiet so he asked her
N: Kyunki aaj pehli baar mujhe bolne ka mauka nahi mil raha hai. Aur main soch rahi hoon ki iss sab mein meri jagah kaha hai. Aur agar tumne ye decide kar hi liya hai ki tum kya kya karnewale ho toh mujhe yeh bhi bata do ki mujhe kya karna hai?
M : He just smiled and said array tumhe mera khayal toh rakna padega naa?
N: She remembered everything that how mayank had decided on every little detail of the new room to be made for their child. He had decided on everything the room's colour, the bed, the colour of bed and pillow covers. Remembering this, she cried more. Tears were just flowing on and on.
(She said to herself) Mayank main janti hoon ki tumhe mere liye dar lag raha hai. Par mayank tum samjahte kyun nahi. Iss bachche ko lekar jo sapne tumne, hum dono ne milke dekhe hain unhein poora karne ka ye aakhri mauka hai shayad. Main janti hoon ki tum kitni besabri se iske is duniya mein aane ka wait kar rahe ho. Main wo saare sapne apne haaton se nahi tod sakti. Main apne aap ko kabhi bhi maaf nahi kar paaungi.
On the other hand...After mayank left the room he went and laid on the bed in their guest room fuming in anger but still tears started flowing down which he was holding back for long. He was angry on himself for shouting at nupur. He knew she needed him but he himself needed sometime with himself to calm himself down. He just wanted this nightmare to end but Doctor's words kept ringing in his mind and he knew that this was the reality of his life.
He remembered their today's visit to the doctor
Doc: Maine tum dono se pehle hi kaha tha ki nupur ki pregnancy mein complications hain. Her internal system is weak. Hence i asked her to take rest. But Kal jis tarah se nupur ko unbearable pain aur bleeding ho rahi thi usko dekhkar maine uske kuch tests kiye the aur ab reports study karne ke baad main tum dono ko koi jhooti hopes nahi dena chahti. Ab tum dono ko faisla karna hai ki whether u want to keep the child.
She was shocked to hear this. And he was too numb to react. But soon he composed himself and clutched her tightly to assure that he was by her side forever.
Doc: Nupur is too weak to carry a child. Reports ke hisaab se bachche ki groW*H theek se nahi ho rahi hai. Delivery ke waqt kuch bhi ho sakta hai. (Looking towards mayank) I fear that u will have to choose between any one of them.Even if u keep the child then there is all possibility that it may be mentally or physically retarded.But if u abort the child this time then there are hardly any chances that nupur can carry a child next time. So now you guys have to decide what you want to do.
There were no reactions on her face. She had become dumb but tears kept rolling down from her eyes.
M: (He held himself strong and asked) Is there no way out?
Doc : Only if some miracle happen. But I would suggest you to take the decision soon because nupur's condition could get worse.
He remembered Doctor's words and some more tears rolled down his cheeks. He wiped his tears. Nupur Tum samajhti kyun nahi ho main tumhe kho nahi sakta kisi bhi haal mein. Please meri baat ko samjho. He started towards his room determined to convince her.
He entered the room and found her in the balcony. He went and sat beside her. He kept his arms around her and she wept more and more keeping her head on his chest.
N: Mayank, yeh hamare saath hi kyun hua? Maine kya kisika bigada tha jo bhagwan ne hamare saath ye kiya....Kyun mayank....Kyun
M: Nupur please meri baat maan lo....please
N: Nahi mayank main ye nahi kar sakti. Kisi bhi haal mein nahi
M: Please nupur meri baat suno....Please.....Main tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon. Main apni life tumhare bina imagine bhi nahi kar sakta.
N: Par main yeh bhi janti hoon ki tum iska intezaar kar rahe ho....Tumne kitne sapne dekhe hai humare bachche ko lekar.
M : Main bahut selfish hoon aur sirf apne liye tumse ye karne ke liye keh raha hoon. Meri life main tumhare jitna important koi bhi nahi shayad ye bachcha bhi nahi..... main tumse jitna pyaar karta hoon utna shayad main hamare bachche ko bhi nahi karta. Aur agar delivery ke waqt tumhe kuch ho gaya toh shayad main zindagi bhar uss nanhi si jaan ko zimmedar manunga. Kabhi usse uske hisse ka pyaar nahi mil paayega. Main tumse juda hona bardhast nahi kar sakta nupur...Kisi bhi haal main nahi....Aur sirf apne liye main tumhe ye karne ke liye keh raha hoon.
Aur yeh bhi toh socho nupur, Bachcha normally grow nahi ho raha hai. shayad who iss duniya mein aa bhi jaaye lekin agar usme kuch khami hogi toh? Main janta hoon ki as parents hum uska poora poora khayal rakhenge usse protect karenge. Humse jo ban padega who karenge lekin yeh zindagi toh uski hogi usse kitni mushkil hogi. Usse iss sabse khud gurjana padega aur ye dekhkar kya hum kush reh paayenge.
N: Par mayank tumhe yaad hain naa doctor ne kya kaha tha. Shayad ye hamara last chance hai. Phir shayad kabhi....
M: Toh kya hua nupur. Hum Bachcha adopt bhi toh kar sakte hai?
N: Par who hamara nahi hoga...Who mera-tumhara hissa nahi hoga.
M: Who sab sirf tab hoga agar hum usse dil se nahi apnaate. Agar hum dono usse apna maan lenge toh ye baatein kabhi naa tumhare dil mein aur naa kabhi mere dil mein aayengi.So what agar hum ek life iss duniya mein nahi laa sakte lekin hum kisi life ko iss duniya mein jeena toh sikha sakte hain. Usse pyaar toh de sakte hai.
N : Par mayank yeh hamara bachcha hai....
M : Par mere liye tumse zyaada koi important nahi hai...Please samjho nupur please and he pulled nupur more closer.
Now he knew that she needed sometime to think over it but he was now sure that after giving it a thought she would agree to him.
They just remained in that position. She had cried so much that she herself did not knew when did she fall asleep on his shoulder. And he was just there for her like always.
The morning sunrays woke her up and she realised that they both slept in the sitting position. The events of the last night were still fresh and she knew that she had to now take the decision.She went to freshen up and when she returned she found mayank sitting on their bed.
Their eyes met and she knew what he was searching in them but still she only said tum fresh hoke breakfast ke liye neeche aa jaao.
He went to freshen up without saying a word bcoz he knew that she herself will tell her decision to him
Both were seated on the breakfast table when she finally spoke
N: Tum sach mein sure ho that we wont regret doing this thing?
M: I have no doubts. Maine kal bhi kaha tha aur aaj bhi keh raha hoon ki main tumhe sabse zyaada pyaar karta hoon aur tumhe khone ka khayal bhi mujhe dara deta hai. Main apni life bachche ke bina soch sakta hoon lekin tumhare bina nahi
N: Mayank, phir se soch lo
M: I don't have to
N: Theek hai tum kal ke liye doctor ki appointment le lo.
M: Thank u nupur mujhe samajhne ke liye. Aur itna yaad rakhna ki tumse zyaada mere liye koi important nahi hai KOI BHI NAHI.
I know it was boring so all the jhootas, Chappals, Tomatoes whatever u feel like are welcome but please do leave ur comments.
All the criticisms are accepted but at least comment so that I can improve.
P.S: I have no medical knowledge so whatever diagnosis has been stated above may not be right or may not be possible in real life but this was just a random thought in my mind and hence I penned it down.
So please pardon me for the mistakes.
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