Sid:
Ridzy, Where do I even begin? Since the night of our honeymoon you seem so disturbed, so distraught, so distant, constantly in tears and isolated. I cannot understand as to what has brought on this sudden behaviour. Was it something I did? Or something I said? Every time I try to reach you, I feel like I am in deep disconnection. Looking into your eyes I no longer see that sparkle of happiness and bubbly charm, instead it has been replaced with malicious destitution. Surely there is a reason behind all of this?
Darling I wish to understand. Comprehend what is hurting you so much, each tear that is shed from your beautiful eyes is like a sharp bullet through my heart. I could simply place this behaviour on mood swings, but even the most incapable of people would know that something delves deep in your soul which is torturing you. How can I explain that whatever pain you are feeling, I am suffering 1000 times more upon seeing you in such a state. What makes matters worse for me is that I cannot aid you in this inner battle of yours.
I feel that there are inner demons you are fighting with, and in such a fight, even though it causes me great grief to say so, how can I help? If there was a way in which I could assist you in this war of yours then I would. But somehow I feel I would misstep my mark if I interfered. I cannot force, or impose my presence or self upon you, and nor do I wish to, even if it takes centuries then I shall wait, for when you yourself can tell me the issues you face. Confronting you would only alarm you and isolate you even more from myself and that is something I do not wish to do. When you are able and ready to tell me of your hardships then I will be waiting with open arms, I took an oath to love you always, and love is not all roses. There are times when we must offer silent companionship to those we love, and that is what I shall do for you ridzy. Though it petrifies me to my very core seeing you like this, I shall stand by you, regardless of the hurdles in life. And if you choose for my presence to not be of your requirement then so be it, I shall abide to your wishes. That is the thing about love, marriage and most importantly friendship, no matter what dire situations one faces, all anyone they need sometimes is to know that they have the support and care of those who love them.
No matter what decisions you take in life Ridzy, remember this, I will always support you. Because the biggest act of love is not want, or desire, but it is sacrifice, and I shall sacrifice my feelings, and my qualms, if that is what it takes to bring back that spectacular smile to your face. And remember my love, whenever life throws you into a pit of despair, close your eyes and take a look behind and beside you, upon opening your eyes, you will always find me stood there, to help you, guide you, love you, care for you, offer you trust, and comfort. If you do not want this in the form of a husband, then you shall surely receive it in the form of a friend. You mean more than life itself to me Ridzy, and All I'll ever want for you is to be happy. I Love You....
By Tazzy
Xxx
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