tum?? aap?? is it cultral??

yes it depends on evry individual.. in my family too its never formal.. wife calls her husband by his name so is her family.. not only son in law but evn younger generation doesnt call their elders by aap coz its my mother tongue doesnt distinguish betwn tum or aap.. according to me its not tum & aap dat brings respect respect has to come 4rm within urself lang doesnt matter.. evn i dont believe in givin special treatment to son-in-law by sayin him aap d relationship bcums too formal.. i find it wierd when elders of the family sheds extra respect to nebody.. now if u'd have noticed archana never says aap to her mother... evn i dont say..

i think its an individual thing...in my family as well we use tum instead of aap

Trupat u have a point but just because Ks called their daamad by first name does not mean they dont respect them...Oh well sometimes they are not nice to manav...They flip flop 😆

I think its more of change in generation thing, i'm Mahrashtrian, and my grandparents and mom's family call my dad, aap. My mom does too. So in general, in hte past, at least son in laws were addressed as 'aap' among Maharashtians.

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

Trupat u have a point but just because Ks called their daamad by first name does not mean they dont respect them...Oh well sometimes they are not nice to manav...They flip flop 😆

I am gujju too...Our family first name is used but when they address them than they say "Tame" instead of "Tu"

Both my bhabhis are younger to me but I address them with frist name only but use "Tame" or just bhabhi without names...

So it is individual as long as they are respected...naam aur title me kya rakha hai if they are used with proper respect...😳

I was born in Africa and came to the UK in 1972...my mum calls my dad 'tame'..and never by his name..

I use my husbands name and always say 'tame'..

'tu' is used for someone younger..but if they r married to someone in yr in-laws family then we always say 'tame' to show respect..for eg..my husbands cousin is alot younger than me but I say 'tu'...but I say 'tame' to her hubby although he is also alot younger...

both my bhabhis r younger so I say 'tu'...

ps my husband calls me 'tame'...it started as a joke..and now he is so used to saying 'tame' that it shocks some of my relatives...😉😉😉

I am 5 yrs younger than my hubby and sometimes he says 'tame' on purpose..just to see the faces of these so called relatives..(from the middle ages..may I add)...

does not matter what u call yr hubby or relatives..as long as you are respectful..and happy..

my husbands elder brothers wife (SIL) calls her husband 'tu'....my MIL does not like this as all the wifes in our family always use 'tame'...

BUT..THIS WAS MY BIL WISH THAT HIS WIFE CALL HIM..'tu'...yet the elders still blame my SIL...

HOPE THIS ANSWERS YR QUESTION..😆😆😆

Its an individual thing...in reality in marathi 'Tumhi' was used to address a damaad which shows repsect...my Mom addresses my husband as 'Tumhi'...but nowadays the relationships are not that formal and 'Tu' is replaced by 'Tumhi'...however, the good intentions and respect remains...

Bhavni my hubby is 6 yrs older to me and as we had love marriage I have always called him by his name and with TU...But in front of my mom, MIL and elders I address him Tame which is with respect...

Originally posted by: Dabulls23

<font color="#660099">Bhavni my hubby is 6 yrs older to me and as we had love marriage I have always called him by his name and with TU...But in front of my mom, MIL and elders I address him Tame which is with respect...</font>

<font color="#660099">In private only time I address him Tame is either when I am upset with him or want to make fun of him 😆</font>

Gosh Di...what a timing to give respect... 😆...

Originally posted by: trupat

hi

guys i m gjurati and i m married .... when my parents or siblings talk to my husband they show more respect towards him by adding kumar after his name.... saying aap instead of tum, its also our culture as well .... but here in pavitra rista i see archu's parents are not that formal with their son in laws ..... they call satish and dharmesh by their first name only and they say tum instead of aap .... they r maharastrian??? is it a cultural thing or does it depends on the family?

Note: i don't mean any disrespect to anyone so don't take it wrong way ..... it was just bothering me and i was just wondering about it thats why i ask

I found Maharashtrians to be very Similar to Bengalis...they call their elder brother DAda,they too call Rice as Bhath....& we too address our Sons-in-law as TUM... just like Sons....No Aap for Kids in Bengalis........