OS: Tere Liyeh

"Kyun nahin karogi? Iss natak se tumhe kya problem hai? Mere saath naam jodne se tumhe daar lag raha hai? Tumhe kya lagta hai, main tumhare kabil nahin hoon? Asmaan se safed ghode mein rajkumar baitkar ek haath mein phool toh dusri mein angoothi lekar aayega? Uske sapne mein jaana chati ho tum? Haan…?" his voice was a raspy whisper but still managed to send shivers down her spine.

"Baas kijiyeh Sir, aab aur nahin." She couldn't take it any more. With every passing second she felt her reserve breaking.

"Tumne mujhe maana kyun kiya tha? Kya main tumhare layak nahin hoon?" his voice was raspy against her ears.

That was it, she couldn't tolerate it any more. She burst like a volcano – unexpectedly, deadly.

"Nahin!" She yelled as she turned to face him. "Nahin hai aap mere layak!"

The look of shock and pain on his face would have stopped anyone, but not her. She knew she had to keep going, it was the only way.

"Nahin hai aap mere layak! Samje aap!"

He stumbled away from her.

"Kitni baar…kitni baar aapse kahaan hai ke main aapse door rehna chati hoon. Ek hi baath baar baar keh ke main thak gayi hoon! Thak gayi hoon main! Muhje aapka paas aana, aap ka saath rehna…kuch aacha nahin lagta! Kyun meri zindagi mein muskilein bada rahe hahi aap. Kyun humesha mujhse aaise sawal karke mujhe chot pouchate hai? Kyun? Kaise samjaoon main aapko ke main aapse kissi bi tarha ka rishta nahin rakhna chati!?" she yelled, her voice loud and ringing.

"Geet…" he began.

The pain, the sorrow and the confusion in his voice pierced her heart like a dagger. She couldn't stop now, she had to finshi it once and for all.

Turning to him she said, "Bhagwan ke liyeh mujhe chod dijiyeh."

She didn't dare stay to see his reaction. Immediately after she spoke the last word the turned to leave. She paid no attention as she ran, only to be punished for it as her foot stepped on a blazing candle. The flame and hot wax simultaneously burned the sensitive skin as an involuntary gasp came out from her. She'd heard him call out to her but she didn't wait for his help. She ran with her injured foot, limping the entire way out as she felt blood ooze from her wounds – the wound on her foot and the wound on her heart. She didn't have to think about which hurt more.

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She sat by the windowsill, still dressed in the red saree, overlooking the massive garden of Khurana Estates. It had been an hour already yet her tears refused to halt. They poured out of her as if there were an endless supply. It was still raining and she thought she'd been dreaming when she saw him below her in the drive way. Even after blinking he was there. She knew then it wasn't a dream. She couldn't meet his eyes so she turned away, closing her eyes as more tears spilled. She heard the faint closing of a car door, and the soft purr of the engine before he drove away.

She had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't seen or heard the servant come it. It wasn't until he'd turned on the lights and called to her that she came back to reality.

She quickly sat up straight, pulling the anchal around her bare shoulders. She wiped her tears and pretended to act normal.

"Kuch kaam tha Bhaia?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"Nahin Memsaab, baas aapke liyeh yeh khat hai," the servant said holding out a white envelop to her.

"Khat? Mere liyeh?" Geet took it with a confused look in her eyes.

"Maan Sir chodke gaya hai." That was all he said before he left.

With unsteady hands she opened the envelope to discover a neatly written letter. Again her eyes blurred as she read the letter, her heart shatter and her soul cried out.

*~*~*~*~*

Geet,

Aaj tumne meri akheen khol di. Saab se pehle toh main tumse maafi mangna chata hoon. Mujhe paata nahin tha ke tumhari zindagi ki sabse badi kaanta, main hoon. Mujhe pata nahin tha ke mere vaje se tum kush nahin ho. Jaabse tumhe jaana hai, taabse maine tumhe mushkiloon se bachaya hai. Aaj bhi main vahin karunga. Aaj bhi main tumhe haar mushkil bachaunga, chahe woh mushkil main khud hi kyun naa hoon. Jaabse tumhe jaana hai, taabse tumhara saath diya hai. Aaj bhi main tumhara saath dunga, chahe uske liyeh mujhe tumhara saath hi kyun naa chodna pade. Aanjane mein hi sahi, lekin jaabse tumhe jaana hai tumne kush karna chaha. Aaj bhi main tumhe kush karne ke puri koshish karunga. Aagar mere door jaane se tumhe kushi milit hai, toh woh hi sahi. Jaise tum chate ho, vaisa hi hoga. Zindagi mein dobara aapna shakal tumhe nahin dikhaunga. Baas…tum kush raho, mujhe aur kuch nahin chahiyeh.

Soocha tha ke jaane se pehle tumne aapne dil ki baath betake jaunga, magar himmat hi nahin juta paya. Aur aab sooch raha hoon ke batane se kya faida. Baas itna jaan lo ke main humesha dua karunga ke tumhe haar kushi mile, tumne tumhara Rajkumar mile, aur tumhara haar saapna pura ho. Baas aur kuch nahin chahiyeh mujhe.

Jaa raha hoon Geet. Magar fikar maat karo, main vapas nahin aaunga. Mere vaje se tumharhi akhoon mein asoon aayeh, yeh main bardasht nahin kaar paunga. Aagar mere vaje se tumhe kissi bhi tarha ki taqleef hui…main toh jeete jee marjaunga. Yeh Maan Singh Khurana ka vaada hai, aur Maan Singh Khurana jo vada karta hai woh khabi todta nahin.

Kush rehna aur humesa aapna khayal rakhna.

Maan

*~*~*~*~*

Geet wept as she held the letter close to her heart. Everything she'd said to him, the horrible words that came out of her mouth. The look on his face when she told him that she wanted him to stay away from her, when she told him that he wasn't good enough for her. How could he not have known that those were all lies? How?

She cursed herself for her actions. She thought she'd been sparing him heartache, but instead she caused it. Why? Why hadn't she been able to tell him that joining her name to his would be one of her lifes greates joys? Why hadn't she been able to tell him that the prince she was waiting for was standing in front of her? Why hadn't she been able to say that without him, her dreams were just as lifeless and colorless as her life was? Why…why…why?

Of course, she knew why. Why, because she loved him. She loved him more than life itself. Had it not been for the life growing inside her, she would already be dead. The look of sheer horror and regret in his eyes as she told him he wasn't good enough for her – that one look was enough to kill her. She knew, she knew that if she explained everything to him, he'd stand by her side like he always did. She knew it – her heart knew it, her soul knew it. But she couldn't do that to him. She couldn't make him lose the possibility of a happy and full life but tying him down with her cursed destiny. People would talk about her, people would shame her, people would ridicule her and they would disrespect her. But if the same people shamed him or disrespected him, she'd die. How she supposed to go on knowing that the man who'd protected her honor and dignity, was now being mocked because of her. God no!

She knew she was doing the right thing, on some level she knew. That didn't mean that it couldn't hurt, because hurt it did. What hurt the most was that she'd been so close, so close to having such a different life. What hurt the most was that she knew, the rest of her life would be spent with a hole in her heart. What hurt the most was knowing that he believed everything she said. What hurt the most was that he didn't see that all she was trying to do is love him. What hurt the most was that he didn't she was walking away because she loved him. All she did was because she loved him.

She did all she did for him. She cried for him, she bled for him, she lied for him she'd die for him. For him she'd do anything even if that meant she had to kill her soul, even if it meant that she had to crush her heart.

She cried herself to sleep. It was an unsteady sleep, filled with images of his hurt face filled her dreams. The words he'd spoken rang in her ears. Suddenly she'd jolted up when someone barged into her room. Once her eyes focused she saw it was in the early hours of the morning, the rain still poured and it was Dadi Maa that entered her room.

"Geet," Dadi Maa called, her voice cracking as she cried. "Maan ka accident hogaya!"

"Kya!?" Geet stood stunned, unable to move.

Dadi Maa came up to her and shook her shoulders. "Uska accident hogaya aur uska kuch paata nahin chal raha hai!"

"Nahin…nahin," Geet said as she moved away from Dadi Maa's reach. "Nahin, aaisa nahin hosakta…nahin hosakta…" She ran away from Dadi Maa, she had to get away.

Geet ran straight to Maan's room in the main house not noticing anything or anyone as she went. Once entering his room she closed the door and fell to the floor crying. She needed to be around him and his essence. Just the thought of the last time she saw him, actually being the last time – it killed her.

Moments later she found a picture of him set on the dressed. Suddenly, the words he'd spoken earlier rang in her ears: "Baas, yahi tak ka saath tha humara? "Maine humesha, haar muskhil mein tumhara saath diya hai. Aur tum…tumhe shayad yaad bhi nahin hoga…aagar main nahin hota…toh shayad…tum zinda bhi nahin hoti…"

"Main kaise bhool sakti hoon, kaise bhool sakti hoon ke meri zindagi aapki amanta hai! Kaise bhool sakti hoon ke mera dil, meri jaan, mera saab kuch aab aap mein basta hai!" she yelled. "Aapni amanat peeche chodke aap nahin jaa sakte. Nahin jaa sakte!"

"Geet, sambhalo aapne aapko," Dadi Maa said.

When did she join Geet in Maan's room, she had no idea.

Geet pain no attention to Dadi Maa.

"Aapko vapas aana hi hoga," she said as she sat on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, her feet tucked under. "Aapko mere paas vapas aana hi hoga."

As the seconds ticked on Geet felt more and more on edge. Every second seemed like a life time. Every second meant a moment when he was not with her. Every second seemed like a wasted opportunity to tell him how she really felt. Every second seemed to bring her closer and closer to her own death. Hours had passed with Geet simply staring at the clock, counting the seconds until his return. Even the heavens cried as she cried for what could possibly be lost forever.

Suddenly, the through the midst of the howling wind and pitter patter of rain, she heard the distinct creaking of metal. Her heart instantly told her that he was back, but her eyes needed proof. Stumbling to her feet she raced to the window to see if what her heart was telling her was the truth. As the haze cleared, as the rain drops suddenly slowed and as she made out a figure in the distance, her heart and her soul rejoiced.

"Sir! Sir!" she yelled, but her calls fell to deaf ears.

At that very moment the heavens rumbled and cried flames.

"Sir! Sir," she tried over and over again. Finally in her frustration, she called out, "Maan!"

That call he'd heard, just like the last time when she ran from her brother. As soon as the sound of her voice fell on his ears he turned around. As soon as their eyes met it was like time stood still. Nothing existed in this world but the two of them. She noticed the bandages on his arm. She winced at the thought of him suffering pain in any way. Her eyes filled with tears as she was about to call out to him again. But then, he turned away.

The words from his letter flashed in her mind: Maan Singh Khurana jo vada karta hai woh khabi todta nahin.

No, this couldn't be happening. She couldn't let him just walk away from her life, not again. She'd come so close to loosing him, she couldn't bare to be away from him now. Throwing caution to the wind she ran. She felt her injured foot, but she didn't care – nothing mattered, nothing. She raced through the house, her anchal flying in the air behind her.

By the time he got outside, he had nearly stepped out of the gates.

"Maan!" she called again.

He stopped and turned, surprised to see her there. The looked at each other, both drenched by the pouring rain. Taking a breathe she began running once again, this time her legs not cooperating from the pain in her food. She limped, then stumbled, sure she was going to hit the pavement. But she didn't. Like they always had, a familiar set of arms shot out and grabbed her. She took the support of his masculine body because her's began to fail her. He didn't move until she was steady once again, then he took one step back and one step away from her. That's as far as she was going to let him go.

"Kya samate ho aap aapne aap ko?" she asked. "Jaab jee chaha dil mein dastak kar diya…jaab jee chaha mujhse muh mor liya?"

He looked at her with confusion.

"Aap Maan Singh Khurana hai toh kya, aap aapne manmani karsakte hai?" she demanded as she grabbed his shirt with her hands, drawing him close. "Ek baar bhi nahin soocha ke mere kya hoga? Ek baar bhi nahin soocha ke main aapke bina kaise jeeungi?"

"Geet…" he said, but was cut off.

"Tang aagayi hoon main daar daar ke. Tang aagayi hoon aapne aap se lad ke. Tang aagayi hoon main aapse ladke. Mujhe aur saha nahin jayega," she cried. "Kaise samjaoon ke main aapse door nahin reh sakti? Kaise samjaoon ke aapke bina main marjaungi? Kaise samjaoon aapko ke meri haar kushi aapse juda hai? Kaise samjaoon ke main sapna dekhti hoon, to sirf aapke vaje se, main muskurati hoon toh sirf aapke vaje se? Kaise samjaoon aapko ke Maan ke bina Geet adhuri hai? Kaise samjaoon aapko ke main…ke main aapse kitna pyaar karti hoon…………"

Her emotions ran rampant throughout her body, her knees became week as she descended to the floor. She felt him grab her before she hit the floor. She felt him lift her into his arms. Feeling his strength, needing his warmth, she simple pressed her face against the cradle of his neck and held on as if her life depended on it. She could feel his heart beat, she could feel his breath………

"I love you Geet," he whispered into her ear.

Her heart rejoiced, her soul sang, her entire body tingled. She pulled him closer.

She could feel his heart beat, she could feel his breath…

"I love you so much Geet," he said again.

…she could feel his love, stronger than ever before.

She did all she did for him. She cried for him, she bled for him, she lied for him she'd die for him. For him she'd do anything even if that meant opening her heart to joy, even if it meant digging up her past, even if it meant she had to face her worst fears, even if it meant opening her heart to his love. For him, she'd do anything…anything for him.