Here is another attempt to write a short story. As you know I don't feel comfortable in writing short stories, but this one was written in record time. Whether it is good or bad is upto you to decide but I am happy I could write something in such a short time.
Epiphany:
The alarm buzzed again. Jai searched for the alarm clock on the night stand while keeping his eyes closed. Not finding the damn thing he cursed loudly and sat up with sour eyes. He tried to locate the alarm. By the time he found it, it stopped buzzing. Though the desire to go back under the duvet was way too strong, but Jai did otherwise. He had to catch a flight in few hours time; there was no way he could give in to his sleep. Rubbing his eyes to get rid of some of the sourness, he yanked the duvet from over his legs. With one swift move he got up and made his way to the bathroom.
Jai was brushing his hair when he heard a chaos downstairs. He never liked people fighting and then coming to him for judgement. He was rich, prosperous, providing job and shelter to thousands if not millions. He worked his way up to this position and till day worked hard each day as it comes. He could still not understand why people always considered him demigod. May be because of his ancestors, but then his father never enjoyed such respect from the masses. He brushed the thought aside and went towards the window to find the reason for the chaos this early in the morning.
A young man was pleading to the security chief and was held back by 2-3 security guards. He asked from his window about the matter. He was informed that the boy wanted to see him and said it was a question of life and death. Intrigued, Jai asked his security officer to bring him in. They thoroughly checked the boy and then took him inside with his hands cuffed. The whole house was in deep slumber except for Massi preparing for her puja, helped by Tony. Since Jai was planning to leave early, he wanted to sort out the issue with the guy held by his security at the earliest possible.
The boy looked like hardly out of teens, a villager most probably from his looks. He looked extremely tired and anxious. Veer has never seen a King in a palace in his life but he has read a lot about them. The man in front of him had an aura around himself, an aura of a king, of a ruler. He felt intimidated by the six feet stature and piercing gaze. Jai noticed the fear in his eyes and coaxed him to say what he had come to say. He gave Jai a letter and asked him to read it in front of him. Jai looked puzzled by the boy and his request. "I hope you are not wasting my time young man." Jai grounded.
"No.......no Sir, it........ it is the dying wish of my didi to.......to give this letter to you. Please read it." he said in between his sobs. The security guards held him under scrutiny as Jai opened the letter, he wanted to finish of this issue. He was a busy man and had so much of unfinished business to take care of. The letter was addressed to him, Jai failed to identify the writing. His curiosity was piqued, he could not remember seeing the guy before and his dying sister has written him a letter. There were so many things he wanted to know, how did his sister know him? What does a dying woman wanted from him? Who was she? He opened the letter and just gave a sweeping gaze to the contents on both pages. He got the shock of his life to see the name at the end of the letter............. Bani!
Mr. Walia,
I know I am not worthy of your time or your forgiveness. But please read it as I promise never to bother you ever again. I could never gather enough courage to come and tell you my side of story. Not that it matter if I would have told you as it would not have changed what happened.
I have been repenting every day and will repent till my last breath. I wish I would have listened to you that day. It was completely my mistake that I went to see Pia after getting the phone call. I always thought it to be my duty to look after Pia and Rano after our mother's demise. It was not a duty that I did by force; it was something that my heart told me, to mother my sisters who needed me. We lost our mother when we were too small to understand the meaning of it. Though I tried to provide everything that I could, but somewhere I went wrong in my upbringing. How could have I been perfect, I was only 14 when our mother left us and soon our father lost himself in his grief.
I would again apologise for Pia when she left you alone sitting in the mandap. I had tried to talk her out of your proposal when Pushkar told me about their love. But I failed and she convinced me that both of you love each other and Pushkar was only her friend. It was my mistake that I trusted my sister over my friend. I was not aware that I was going to pay a very big price for that mistake. If I would have judged Pia more rationally rather than emotionally, I could have saved you and your name from disgrace. I could have saved you from the hurt and humiliation, saved myself from sitting in place of her in front of the holy fire.
I never told lie whenever I said that I was made to sit in the mandap with you. I would not deny that I was in awe of you; I respected you and considered you in high regard. But never in my wildest dreams had I thought of marrying you, neither for your money nor for your name as I was always blamed of. There was no ulterior motive on my part in marrying you. I sat only to save your name, to save you from humiliation and would not have dared to do so untill Jigyasa di forced me. The whole time I was married to you I tried to be a good wife to you, maintain the honour of your name and dignity of being your wife. I could never bring myself to disobey you, not because I was scared of you or your anger but because of my respect for you.
I wanted to see Pia settled happily with Pushkar, that was my heart's wish. By that time I was in the impression that you have forgiven me, your anger and hatred towards me had come to an end. You have somehow accepted me as your wife and I was more than happy. What else could have I asked from God, I was blessed with a family of my own, my husband and pregnant with twins. Rano was doing well in her studies and well settled in the hostel. I only wished if Pia could also find her happiness. That was a desire of an elder sister who had raised her sisters as a mother. You were not happy with the idea of my going to see Pia. And you would not let Pia come to our house. You even warned me not to go out in that stage of my pregnancy. Vo kehte hain na "Vinaash kale vipreet buddhi", that was my case. I thought it would be mean of me to enjoy so much happiness alone. I should at least once give a try to make things better between Pia and Pushkar. I always felt miserable for not helping my sister but never dared to do anything considering my duty as a wife.
On that fateful day when I got a call from Pushkar saying that Pia was threatening him to commit suicide, I rushed to stop her even after knowing that you did not want me to. I found that Pia and Pushkar again had a fight and Pia was getting hysterical. She would not listen to me and blamed me of taking you away from her. She blamed me of enjoying the status of being your wife, your money and your kids which were destined to be hers. She said if I would not have taken her place in the mandap, you would have accepted her back in your life after she left Pushkar. That hurt Pushkar's male ego and he hit Pia, and she was no less. I tried to stop their scuffle. Don't know what happened and I slipped from the stairs. Mr. Walia I would beg you to believe that it was an accident and only accident. I know you don't think of me in high regard. I failed you as a wife and as a mother. You blamed me of killing my own child. May be I was not worthy of being your wife but I am a woman and would have given my life to save my child. One I lost to God and the other to you. You could never come to understand my pain. Sometimes I feel like cursing you for questioning my womanhood and taking away my daughter, but could never bring myself to do so. How could I blame you or curse you, because even if God would have forgiven me, I could never forgive myself for losing my children.
By the time you receive this letter, I will not be in this world. I know you are very generous man and would not defy a dying woman's wish. You may not forgive me for my mistakes that I did knowingly or unknowingly. But you are generous enough not to take out your anger for me towards my daughter. I don't know whether I have the right to be called her mother as I never gave the love she deserved. Whenever I tried to see her I was caught even before seeing her. I would not have stopped and might have even stolen her from you if you would not have threatened me with her life. I was left with no other option than to leave her with you. My heart says you love her and will take care of her. But being a mother I cannot help but ask you to not punish her for my mistakes.
I hope you might have married by now and become a proud father to an heir. My good wishes are with you and your family. Please take care of Krishna, a girl needs love besides anything and everything while growing up. Who knows it better than me? I would never want my Krishna to grow up into a woman like me. I hope she gets all the love from you and her family; gets a loving husband and have lovely children to cherish.
I will die with two unfulfilled wishes. One I always wanted to hold Krishna close to me at least for once. Second I wanted you to light my pyre. But my destiny is always ahead of me and would never let me win. Might be Krishna does not know anything about me, but I could not forget her whether it was summer or winter. She has been with me in every breath I took. I have few things made for her, I request you to give them to her from someone who loved her with her whole being.
Forgive me if you could. If you will love and cherish my Krishna, my soul will rest in peace thinking that you have forgiven me.
Aapki
Bani
Jai sat brooding in silence. He felt like someone has punched him in the solar plexus. His wife was dying or was she dead? He felt himself going numb. All the events of last 8 years came rushing to his mind. What was it about this woman Bani? He wanted to hate her, rather did hate her. Hated her, demean her in every possible way. He took out all his anger, hurt and frustration on her. But she never said a single word in response. Always bore every verbal insult that he threw on her with her head bowed down. He punished her for her sister's mistake. But somehow she changed everything with her care and single minded dedication. The hurt and humiliation were no more there; he was no more a bitter man. She was a real companion for him, someone who completed him, his other half in real sense.
Jai was someone who never took decisions on impulse, and when he decided on something he would stick to it. There was nothing or no one who could make him change his decision. Pia had hurt his male ego, made him believe that she was in love with him as he thought he was. She then ran away with her young lover leaving him sitting alone in the mandap. He had decided he would never forgive that girl who brought upon him so much hurt and humiliation. He had never thought of revenge, he does not believe in it. He simply sacked Pushkar from his office. He made himself clear both in office and at home that no one related to him will ever keep in touch with Pia and Pushkar. His word was a command that no one dare to disobey.
Bani came in his life as a fresh air of the spring, as a soothing balm to his heart, as the first monsoon rain on his parched soul. She gave him her soul, body and mind. She made him a happy man, changed his life forever. He changed his decision for the first time in life and let her meet Pia. The greed and jealousy in Pia's eyes did not go unnoticed by Jai's sharp and experienced gaze. He wondered how all the three sisters were different from each other. Rano was ambitious but wanted things on her merit. There was nothing ambitious about Bani, she never thought about herself, as if she had taken birth to live for others. Pia was highly ambitious but was mean and calculative also. She proved her real nature by making advances towards him on her first visit after Jai allowed Bani to invite her for some family function. Jai immediately realised his mistake and did not entertain her. What he did was, he warned Bani never to have any contact with Pia and to sever all ties with her. His male ego and his concern for Bani did not let him tell her why he did so.
He was flying high, Bani, his wife Bani was pregnant and that too with twins. Doctor had told them that she was carrying twins. He wondered that living with him for more than one year and carrying his children in her womb, she was still so shy in front of him. He was not very demonstrative of how he felt for her and she was even less. They were not like the usual romantic couples but there was an unspoken understanding between them. Everything was going fine unless that fateful day when Bani fell from the stairs at Pushkar's residence. They lost their son and doctors had to struggle hard to save their daughter and Bani. On top of that all he found Pia making advances on him in the pretext of sympathy. He was so blinded by rage that he forgot that it was an accident, or if someone was responsible for it, it was Pia. He threw a lawsuit against Pia, Pushkar and Bani. The court fined them little punishment and that too mainly to Pia and Pushkar. It was his punishment what they dreaded. The main person to bear his wrath was Bani. He was so angry with her that all her pleas fell on deaf ears. No one could stand his wrath; no one could question his decision. He took Krishna from Bani and told her in cold and cruel words that she was a disgrace on womanhood, she was not worthy of being called a mother. She had no right to come near his daughter. He would not allow the killer of his son to be anywhere near his daughter.
He was not sure where Bani was staying, what she was doing for living or how she was surviving. She came to him few times to see Krishna, but he rebuked her and asked his security to never let her in within his premises. Many times he was informed that she was caught trying to contact someone or the other in his house to see Krishna. No one had the courage to defy his orders.
Krishna was 3 months old when Jai had taken her for vaccination along with Massi. He had gone to the car park to take out his car when he caught Bani holding Krishna. That was the last time he saw her. He came out of the car and snatched Krishna from her, threatening both massi and Bani. "How dare you touch my daughter? If I ever find you near her, I will kill you Bani." he had seethed with anger.
"Please Mr. Walia, it is already killing me to be away from my child. I have not even seen her face." She sobbed. Krishna who was crying meekly till now started wailing loudly.
"Please Mr. Walia, she is hungry, let me feed her." She had literally begged.
But the anger has blinded him so much that he said what he had never meant to say, "I will prefer her dying with hunger than having you feed her." Seeing the startled look in Bani's eyes he went ahead "Don't you think I will let you away for killing my son, I will never forgive you, I will kill my daughter rather than see her growing with you or like you."
His heart more than his eyes always searched for Bani after that incident. He had realised what he had done to a defenseless woman. The epiphany came late, when his anger subsided and pain took over. He has punished her again for no fault of hers. And this time the punishment was so big, a mother taken away from her child, punishment for being the culprit; culprit of not listening to him; culprit to care for her younger sister. And who was he? He was no less, he had done the sin of separating a child from her mother and a mother from her child. His was not a crime, it was a sin and God was punishing him every day. He had to bear the pain and yet remain helpless, that was his punishment from God or a curse from a mother. Whenever he looked at his daughter, his guilt resurfaced. Krishna was handicapped in that accident that killed her twin. Her spinal cord was damaged and that affected her legs. Doctors suggested surgery but Krishna was too weak and young to undergo one. There were 50% chances of her getting back to normal. He always saw Krishna running away from him in his dreams. Jai had tried to search for Bani but all in vain. It looked like she has vanished from the face of the earth.
"Good morning Papa!" the cheerful greeting brought back Jai from his reverie.
"Good morning Krishu." He said soberly.
"I have got sweet curd ready for you Papa, let me know when you leave. I am with dadi." said the little girl while pushing her wheelchair.
"I do need it today Krishu, I desperately need your good wishes." he murmured.
"What happen Jai? Why do you look so sad?" asked massi while ruffling little krishna's hair.
"I don't know whether I am sad or happy. We have found your mummy krishu. Veer has got a letter from her massi." Jai tried to control his emotions. For the last more than six years his eyes always teared whenever he thought or talked about Bani.
"Where is Bani? Where is she?" asked massi.
"She is admitted in AIIMS. She is very sick." informed Veer.
Jai booked two tickets for the first flight to Delhi while asking Aditya to take over after him. He asked Tony to serve breakfast to Veer. Veer informed him that his village is in the interiors of Rajasthan. Bani was a teacher at their school. She had paid for the education of Veer and his sister and both brother and sister lived with her.
"Bani didi is more than God to us. She came to our village few years ago. She not only saved me from becoming a hooligan but also rescued my sister from the ills of society. She used to live with the principal madam, but had to move out when she gave us refuge." Veer informed in short.
"Bani didi had been sick for quite a long time. This year both me and Rakhi protested against her going to the medical camp. But she never listens. This time her fever never came down. When I came back from city, Rakhi told me that Vaid ji is unable to cure didi. I knew the mobile number of some of the doctors who used to come from AIIMS for the camp. When I called them and told about didi's condition he asked me to bring her to Delhi. It took us two days to reach Delhi. Her conditioned worsened, but somehow we got her admitted."
"Papa I want to come with you." cried Krishna.
"Beta I am leaving with Veer, you come with Massi in the next flight." He assured his little girl but his own heart was afraid of what he was going to face.
On his way Jai asked Veer, "When did she give you this letter?"
"Didi had been sick for quite long. One day she asked Rakhi to post this letter after her death. She knew Rakhi would do as told, but never told me as I would have fought with her for thinking about her death. She was unconscious on our way to Delhi, but once when she regained her senses, she asked Rakhi about the letter, which she always kept in her bag."
"Is she ...... I mean was she........" Jai could not bring himself to ask the question.
"I knew that the letter was meant for someone from her family. She always wore her mangalsutra, always looked lost as if yearning for someone. So after meeting the doctors who knew her well and getting her admitted, I asked for the letter. I could not wait for her to die and then post it. She was unconscious but Rakhi is with her. I thought it was more important for me to come and give the letter to its addressee. Rest is her destiny........"
"My destiny is always ahead of me and would never let me win." words from Bani's letter echoed in his mind as the plane landed in Delhi.
The End
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