5/2 - Dr. Siddhant Modi's thoughts: I am sorry.

 


Riddhima , as you lie shivering like an autumn life in this little cottage , your blood giving up on you and you giving up on life , I feel a strange lump in my throat. I don't think I have ever felt so guilty and helpless in my entire life.

Guilty . because I brought you here with the promise of uniting you with Armaan but i could do nothing. I saw him slip out of your life with my own eyes but I could not stop him. You walked towards the door of death and I could not stop you. I know how it is when dreams break . That is why i wanted a happy ending for you. I wish that was.....I really wish so....

Helpless, because you are lying like a helpless bleating lamb in front of me and I.... inspite of being your friend and a doctor cannot help you. I don't know what to do - I have never known the feeling that a doctor or even a human-being has when he sees  a life ebbing out of a body in front of him. I am helpless Riddhima and I hate this feeling.

I am rather numbed at the moment as my own senses seem to be going in circles. Atul's words don't leave my mind . If I don't do anything to warm you up , we all will lose you. Yes , there is a way ..... and now , i know. It is the only way. I must warm you with my own body heat......the very thought sends my own mind in a frenzy.

But I am walking towards you... to do it. I am blinding out all logic and only thinking of you ....to see you open your eyes again even if it is just to scream at me.

I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. After what I am going to do , perhaps I will forever be black listed in your life. All the accusations that you have made against me till date will ring true to you. And this little moonlight of a friendship , civility and smiles that we had arrived upon will disappear into the dark forever. You will detest the very sight of me and I will once again lose my honour.......it sounds easy but i know how tough it will be to face everything. I don't know if i am prepared to face you or the world at daybreak.

It is stupid but I am still expecting somewhere... a little bird of a hope that maybe you will understand that whatever I did was to save your life. If you do not , well, i really don't know what i will do.

Riddhima, you are not my friend , not my relative , not a loved one - but you are somebody who deserves to live like anyone else. And if you die only because i held back , i shall never be able to go to sleep again in my life . I cannot live with the thought that i let you die only because i didn't want you to misunderstand me.


Forgive me , Riddhima. You will never know what it feels like to see someone suffer and inch towards death and not be able to do anything about it. I am doing what i can do.

I am ready for the future. And if I am not , I will still put up the best face I can.

I don't know why I am saying this but .... I AM SORRY.

Beautifully written!

You should have been on their creative team!
How I wish the creative team of DMG had put in that much thought into this scene.
UNfortunately, it doesnt look like.

We interpret what we like!!

But very very well written.

Very well expressed nitz....your post always help to see things in depth and understand the character....

nice post...
im waiting for your award post...wonder who is gonna win today in POCO SCREEN AWARD...

Dang Poco!!! Ridz should be getting an insight into Sid's psyche via Atul AND THAT TOO IN PUBLIC!!!! Her accusation just ripped my heart apart into a million pieces. How could she say that to Sid AND she calls herself a Doctor??? How?? How???

Dont worry wilfen...Ridz will apologize though that may not be public...i hope Atul make her see....but i would love to watch a public apology from Ridz for her stupid behaviour and accusation...

Sid did apologize publically na so i guess its Ridz turn now...my heart too ached for Sid when Ridz accused him of rape...Is she even a doctor...Sid did what was necessary to save her and here she is again screaming and accusing with mote mote aansoo in her eyes...😡

Brilliant writing of thoughts!!

Originally posted by: armaania13

Beautifully written!

You should have been on their creative team!
How I wish the creative team of DMG had put in that much thought into this scene.
UNfortunately, it doesnt look like.

We interpret what we like!!

But very very well written.

Thank you , thank you very much. And I mean it because you cared to post nicely in my thread even though I stand on the other side. Thank you once again.

I interpret characters' thought process in the situations as the character is supposed to react. I guess I turn them into literature.😆.....I really don't want to say anything on the scene - reminds me of that misplaced snowfall😲. But I think Sid's heart was in it's place when he did what he did.

You are right. We interpret what we see and what we like.

Peace. 😃

Originally posted by: spring_breeze05

Very well expressed nitz....your post always help to see things in depth and understand the character....

nice post...
im waiting for your award post...wonder who is gonna win today in POCO SCREEN AWARD...

Thank you Basanti Bahaar!😳

I am glad you liked what I wrote. KW was too good today and the dialogues were marvelously written as well. I related with Sid. His dilemma and uncertainty of the future was evident.

Read the awards posts. Chunn-chunn kar awards diye hain aaj. 😆

Originally posted by: wilfen

Dang Poco!!! Ridz should be getting an insight into Sid's psyche via Atul AND THAT TOO IN PUBLIC!!!! Her accusation just ripped my heart apart into a million pieces. How could she say that to Sid AND she calls herself a Doctor??? How?? How???

 

A pubilc apology scene form Ridz is soooo overdue!!!! She JUST CANNOT ACCUSE my prince like that!!!!!

 

(Grrrrr! I'm just soo mad at Ridz!!!)

Hmmm.... I am not really surprised at Riddhima. I was kind of expecting this reaction and maybe deep down even Sid knew this would happen. I hope Atul saves Sid's neck and Sid keeps away from Riddhima. She thinks he is all trouble , right? So, be it. I just want Sid to concentrate on himself and his life. Riddhima will keep playing ping-pong with him because she will never  learn to trust him. And I don't want Sid giving exams everyday , like Armaan.

@ Poco. yeah yaar! today toh KW was mindblowing. The internal struggle, pricking of his conscience, the judgement between right & wrong AND the "Dharam Sankat" - all those emotions were so beautifully emoted by him that it all seemed effortless to me. I actually forget KW. It was just Sid and his imminent predicament that was visible to me.  👏 👏 👏 👏

 

But I was right about Abhi giving Ridz's exam as her proxy. Ridz never passed MBBS. Doesn't she know what Hypothermia can do to a person and that too in a God-forsaken , middle - of - nowhere????? 😡 😡 😡

Edited by wilfen - 14 years ago