Originally posted by: return_to_hades
You have absolutely and totally misconstrued most of what I am trying to say. Even in aspects where I actually do agree with you, they have been flipped over to insinuate something completely different. Although, I must add I'm not too surprised by the assumptions, I should have known.
Let me reiterate and expand on what I stated.
When I state marriage is a personal choice, I do not refer to personal as in 'individualistic' 'irregardless of others'. Marriage is one of the most important decisions a person will make in their life. Its meant to be a relationship for a lifetime. When I say 'personal' its not about who has a say. Its more of a consciousness thing. The definition of personal itself states something close to oneself in a deep manner, it says nothing about individualism. When I mean personal, I mean something very dear to the heart. Its a choice that involves people's values, beliefs, culture, expectations - in fact the very same things that you state drives your choices and opinions.
Moving onto influence. You are simply assuming that I am saying that children should influence their parents. Where the heck you got the notion of me (or people in general) not allowing family to influence them - I do not know. Merely another assumption.
Influence is a two way street. People influence each other. For a parent the marriage of a child can be the penultimate responsibility. They will influence their children to instill certain values and beliefs, give them certain ideas and opinions, offer guidance and suggestion - in order to influence them positively and steer towards the right choices when it comes to marriage. People care for their near and dear ones, their friends and family. People will influence the choices of the people they care to ensure that they make the best decisions. That is why when it comes to an alliance like marriage, people always seek advice from trusted elders, family members and friends. Children also influence their parents. Its not rebellion or disrespect, its just expressing what qualities they are personally looking for so that parents may give them due consideration. Influence has a much broader context.
I think the problem here lay in the fact that the part where I said 'My aim is not to make anyone agree with me' was either misread or completely. I should have known better and added the qualifiers 'In fact I understand where some people are coming from'. That way the in between lines would have not been read as 'I'll argue my point anyway'.
So what I am trying to say is that I get where people are coming from. Marriage is a personal choice. For many people what their parents think and expect, what their family thinks and expect and societal expectations and responsibilities play an important role in their decisions. It is a personal choice, so its a decision between them and people close to them personally like parents siblings. Its a personal choice, where no one wants a third party unknown to them telling them what to do. For a concrete example, you do not want me telling you who to marry or defining marriage for you. Its personal - you would rather go to someone you personally trust and respect, in your case parents. its a personal choice which is why parents, children, friends and relatives have a right to influence each other. With a concrete example, Mahi and other parents have a notion of what is best for their kids. They have a right to influence their kids in choosing certain cultures/avoiding certain cultures. You have the right to influence your really close friends to listen to their parents and not do something stupid.
Now speaking of rights. When I refer to rights - I refer to civil rights. A legal right that an individual has. So all I am saying that neither you nor any court of law has the right to deny two people marriage simply because they are of a different age or culture. Neither you nor any court of law has the right to discriminate against people who do so in terms of employment, interactions etc.
Do you have a right to socially or morally oppose it on other reasons. Absolutely! You totally and completely have the right to determine what is socially and morally impermissible to you. You totally and completely have the right to form your own opinions on the way you believe things should be. You totally and completely have the right to support what you wish and not support what you wish. I would never oppose a right to personal opinion and expression of it. Unlike other people who are quick to draw lines of liberal or conservative propaganda, I do not perceive the world with me/against me - liberal/conservative.
Its all about the human being - life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Heck except for a few, no one actually knows what my complete personal opinions are. I could be a Natzee or a coon hunting redneck for all you now. ๐
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