Sanskar OS : Into The Darkness

Hello everyone ..

Finally after long time I am here with an OS ..

I start writing this OS since 13/10 means I spend 13 days ( almost 2 weeks ) in writing it .. who will spend all this time ?!!

I think it is just me ..

Anyway it is good I am back to writing I hope my mind stop his playing around next time ..

So the OS .. in the 13/10 episode we did see how Sanskar changed after his fight with Swara ..

In this OS I tried to imagine how he felt ..

I am feeling anxious about it actually ..

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INTO THE DARKNESS

" The Loneliest Moment In Someone's Life Is When They Are Watching Their Whole World Fall Apart And All They Can Do Is Stare Blankly .. "

The Great Gatsby

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Sanskar Stood there in the middle of the hall in front of Swara .. gaping at her , trying to digest what she was saying ..

His Swara would never say something like that to him ..!!

He wished all of this to be a bad dream , but he know very well that it was all true ..

" Look at her , it is all because of YOU .. " she was blaming him for her sister suffering ..

" You all must know that Laksh isn't here with us because of THIS MAN " and his brother disappearance ..

He wanted her to stop whatever she is doing , so he shouted her name .. BUT

She grasped his collar and pulled him " What are you going to do ?! .. Tell Me .. " " Are you going to beat me up too ?!! "

He just stared at her in shock , couldn't say anything .. just stared at her eyes and he failed to recognize her .. all he could see in the wide hazel eyes was the hurt and the flaming anger ..

All he wanted was to grasp her by shoulders and shake her up , beg her to stop all this .. all this is just hurting him ..

Is this how she felt when he was angry at her ?!

He tried to make her understand .. but she just mocked at him ..

Why She is doing this ?!!

" You said that our relation is over .. now I am telling you , I will never fill my Maang with Sindoor till Ragini's husband returns .. " " Until Laksh return we have no relation .. "

He felt like he was hit by thunder when this words left her mouth ..

Did she feel like this when he said the very same words to her before .. ?!

" We have no relation .. "

He knew that he made a mistake and he shouldn't let his anger control him .. but he was helpless .. he just wanted her to listen to him and want Laksh to understand ..

He know it is her anger talking .. she really didn't mean what she said .. like when he said it ..

" We just need to set and talk about this .. and then everything is going to be OK " said to himself trying to ease the pain in his heart .. which was increasing by each second ..

BUT ..

" I want to back to Baadi with Ragini .. my sister needs me more "

He was shocked , she can't leave just like that ..

He tried to talk , but she didn't allow him ..

" I am saying what is right .. now we have no relation .. I can't stay here "

Her cold words pierced his heart ..

She didn't listen to anyone .. she was so stubborn , and she already made her mind ..

She was going , leaving him .. he can't let her go just like that .. she must understand , he need to make her listen .. he just need one chance ..

" Swara Wait .. " " I know you are angry with me .. please don't go from here .. just give me one chance --- "

" Did you give a chance to Laksh before you tried to kill him .. ?!! "

Her words deepened the wounds of his heart ..

Why she refuse to understand him ?! .. it is not about Laksh , it is about the two of them ..

It was always easy for her to read him , why not now ?!

She refused to give him a chance to explain , that broke his heart a little more .. she always give the others second , third chances .. even if they didn't ask for one or even if they didn't deserve one ..

Then why not him ?!

He decided to try for the last time .. to push her to the edge , then maybe she will come back to him .. he hoped

If he really mean so much to her she will stay ..

" If you cross this house boundaries , then you can't return to it .. you will lose the right to stay in this house .. and I will never accept you back in my life again .. "

He Said it and his gaze fixed on her trying to read her expressions .. his heart sank in fear waiting for her decision ..

Her face was blank with no emotions .. and all she did is leaving , just like that without uttering a word ..

He stood there like a sculpture .. couldn't breathe for a moment , and alone tear fell from his eyes ..

He felt his heart shattered into million pieces ..

He know that he will break down at any moment so he escaped out of the house ..

*****

It says that " our deepest wishes , the ones that we never share with anyone , that we hide in the depth of our souls .. actually can never come true .. " *

And Sanskar always carved for Love .. to Love and to be Loved truly .. he just want to belong to someone ..

Life has been so cruel to him , when it comes to the matters of his heart .. Always

But today the damage was not just to his heart .. it did reach the depth of his soul ..

It is ironic that .. the person you love the most , is the same person who hurts you the most .. **

His hands gripped tightly on the steering wheel , his knuckles turning white .. as he drove aimlessly on the roads .. it is a miracle that he didn't meet with an accident till now .. with his present state of mind ..

He didn't know where he was going , nor did care .. all he knew that he was in intense pain , his heart ached terribly .. his throat choked from all the tears he is holding in .. he just want to get ride from all this , to run away ..

He pushed down harder on the accelerator ..

His numerous tries to block everything inside .. failed , as his mind kept on going back to what had happened ..

Her words still echo in his ears ..

" It is all because of YOU .. "

---

" What are you going to do ?! .. TELL ME .. " " Are you going to beat me up too ?!! "

---

" We have no relation "

" We have no relation "

" WE HAVE NO RELATION "

" ... no relation "

" ... NO RELATION " -----------

The car stopped with a sudden halt ..

His insides was shaking , he was on the verge of breaking down ..

He leaned his head on the steering wheel and his grip tightened on it .. trying to regulate his breathing ..

He can feel the storm rising inside of him , and pain tearing him apart ..

He desperately tried to ward off all of it , hoping so hard for the pain to go away but the hurts are deep inside ..

And then ..

The dam collapsed .. the memories of the past events flashed before his eyes , and her words echo in his ears ..

Hot tears start streaming down his face .. soon they become extreme and unstoppable and come in heavy sobs ..

His shallow breathing and the choking sobs was filling the silence of the car ..

After a long time seems like ages , it came to stop ..

He raised his head slowly , his eyes was bloodshot with blurry vision due to tears ..

his strength was totally drained and has no resistance .. the agony of his heart and soul was increasing with each passing second ..

He felt suffocated .. so he step out of the car to get some air , he look around and instantly recognize the place ..

He let out a dry shaky laugh ..

" How ironic ?!! I came to the same place where I almost lost her months ago .. " he thought

With his shaky steps he entered into the woods , his third time ..

He kept on walking and walking tell he reach out the spot where he almost lost his life last time ..The Cliff

The very same cliff where she fell off and almost lost her .. it felt like years ago , not just few months ..

Memories started flooding back .. everything flooded in and hit his mind like a huge tornado .. he couldn't stop it ..

It was getting harder to breathe

It was a torture he can't break free from .. the memories continue to approach him , flood in his mind and taunt him ..

" I Love You Sanskar .. I Can't live without You "

" WE HAVE NO RELATION .. "

he felt the burning embers of the love he had felt so strongly and held so dear leap in his chest for a moment , and choked him ... tears glisten in his eyes ..

" I Love You Too , Three , Four and Infinity .. "

---

" I am saying what is right .. now we have no relation .. I can't stay here "

---

" It is all because of YOU .. "

---

" Sanskar don't worry about me .. nothing will happen to me .. I promised you once that I will spend all my life with you .. and I will keep this promise forever "

---

" I Love You Saanskaaar "

---

" We Have No relation .. "

Suddenly all the moments they spent together felt like ILLUSIONS .. their love , their laughter , their time together , the promises , all the memories ,, EVERYTHING ..

Tears start to flow again ..

He wished what had happened to be a nightmare .. a nightmare he will wake up from to find her in his arms , then she give him her smile which always managed to bright his day ..

He want that so badly .. but all this pain , torture .. the suffering

The extreme pain that he is surprised how he managed to survive ..

He fisted his hands ..

He want all of this to stop , her memories were just paining him ..

A scream raised inside of him .. but nothing left his mouth , it was an echo in his every cell .. a silent scream

He felt as if the ground was shaking beneath him ..

And finally His legs give out under the huge weight of his emotions ..

He fell on the ground ..

Everything around him vanished ..

his world start Tumbling down , and shattering ..

he was drowning , drowning in an ocean of pain and emotions ..

Life was slipping away from him ..

For how long he was laying on the ground there in this semi consciousness state ?!!

It didn't matter ..

Gathering everything memories , emotions ..etc , in some deserted corner of himself , locking it up ..

Intending to never let it out ever again ..

" Swara ..

Today you opened wounds in my heart and soul which will never heal ..

The scars will remain as long as I am alive ..

This time I will never forgive You .. easily "

He stood up dusting off his clothes ..

Standing there watching the sunset .. the sky was colored with a mixture of Violate , Blue , Yellow , Orange and Red ..

Watching the last rays of sun disappearing and lights fading out ..

SLOWLY THE DARKNESS WAS ENGULFING HIM IN ..

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" When You Love Someone ...

Truly Love Them .. You Lay Your Heart Open To Them , You Give Them A Part Of Yourself That You Give No One Else ..

And You Let Them Inside A Part Of You That Only They Can Hurt ..

You Literally Hand Them The Razor With A Map Of Where To Cut Deepest And Most Painfully On Your Heart And Soul .. "

Sherrilyn Kenyon

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* it is my words .. this is something my high school teacher used to say to us .. and somehow it is true ..

** I found this words in facebook years ago ..

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So , How was it ??

Hope it wasn't that bad ..

Please do share your thoughts .. anything is appreciated positive or negative ..

Love

Khushi