Posted:
NOTE: This is my first attempt at story-telling. So it ended up being long and is made for serious reading. The protagonists appear only in the end. Religious sentiments can be hurt. Proceed only if you have patience and time to waste and can take things with a pinch of salt.
Some 20 odd years ago...
The sun was just setting in the horizon. The sky was cloudless, serene and inviting. Nothing like the chaos happening right below it. Wails of tormented citizens reached her ears. She smiled.
"Serves them right", She thought,"Strutting about looking like THAT".
Unimaginable. In HER kingdom? What were these imbeciles thinking?
Suddenly, someone stumbled in and fell at her feet.
"owww", the creature whelped."This bleaching is painful".
He rubbed his body, " I can't take it anymore! I won't work in sun and become dark anymore, your Majesty", he bawled at her feet.
She raised her eyebrow at him. She could only raise one eyebrow now-a-days. *sigh* Botoxica. The magical drug which kept her alive was making her body more like her soul, hardened, frozen.
-------------------------------------------
Daanav Daadi ruled over Birlanka. She was (un)fondly called Daayan Daadi by her subjects. She ruled her kingdom Fairly and Whitely. She only believed in the moon, she never acknowledged the night. She only drank milk, banned coca-cola.She prayed only to the ever-white, ever-shining, ever-living Edward Bhagwan and his consort Bella Devi. She acquired the devilish knowledge of botoxica from their sacred books.
Her principle was just one," Live and let the white live". Hence, her Face-ist rule continued over Birlanka tormenting her citizens with bleaches, waxing, perming as punishment to pigmented looks.
-----------------------------------------------
After dismissing the bleached-creature, Daayan, content for the day, decided to head to her white bed in her white room in her white mansion to take a beauty sleep. She heard a soft knock on her door.
" PROPHET PRATIMA! Is this the time to disturb me?", screamed Daayan.
What a disgrace of a woman! Her son went and married this secular fool! She keeps preaching about all colours being same and saying her nasty line," Beauty is skin deep, maaji". Such a shame! How could she let her be the next queen? How could let this disgraceful woman take over her reigns? She is just good at onething and Daayan in her infinite wisdom nicknamed her just that - Preachy!
"Maaji, please allow me to go to Pano-Rama Temple tomorrow to pray for my child. I'm feeling worried for him," she said, hesitantly.
" No matter where you pray, Preachy, your children will only get my rakshas upbringing, do you get it?"
"Y..e..ss, Maaji"
Prophet Pratima is a worried woman. Already, her first son is getting a daily scrub in milk and rosewater. He has become so white, she has to wear goggles to look at him now-a-days. No! She can't let her children become like her monster-in-law. She touched her belly... her second child is due any day...She decided to pray.
------------------------------------------------
She reached the Pano-Rama temple. It was a small temple which catered only to the needs of Too-Regressive-People, shortly TRP. A special group that was nurtured and patronized since time unknown, even Daayan respected them. Prophet Pratima had huge faith in them, they were secular and all-enduring, like her. Only they can change the fate of her child, if they wish to.
She looked around for a Tantrik but the temple was empty. Suddenly, a man walked in.
"Good to see you, Prophet. I see you have come to pray for your son", he said. He looked like a Greek mythical creature.
"Yes, Lord! I am worried for him. Lest he turns out like my... my... "
" LOL, LOL, LOL. No, he won't. But you've to answer me two questions for your wish to fulfill."
"Anything", she wailed.
" You already have one son! What kind of daughter-in-law you want for him?"
" Anyone he likes. White, dark, tall, short. She should just be nice girl with a mind of her own, unlike me."
"Hmmm. If your son beats her up, what would you do?"
"I'll slap him and break his hands!"
"ENOUGH, Prophet, enough", screamed the Greek mythical creature. " Do you know who I am? Do you? I am S.C.Tripotty! I write your fates! I am secular like you, I am dark-lover like you but I am a misogynist! And how DARE you try to be a good mother-in-law in this HOLY TRP land?!It is against our religion and you blasphemed it!!!"
Prophet Pratima shivered from head to toe. She was scared!
" No,no.I follow our religion, my Lord. I don't speak up, I don't stand up for myself, I do nothin'"
" But in hearts of hearts you sinned! Now I curse you, curse you that you'll have 3 sons, and your middle one will stand out like a middle finger!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"Please, no!" She fell at his feet and begged! She cried and she begged...and begged...and begged...and begged some more.
Tripotty melted. He is benevolent, after all.
"I can't take back what I said, he'll be a darling and pain the ass together. Deal with it. But he'll change slowly, with the help of ... "
"Aaahhh" The shock, falling and begging had impact on Preachy's fragile health. She had gone into early labour. Tripotty magically transferred her to hospital and alerted his secret crush, Daayan.
As the baby was struggling to come out into the world, the calm sky suddenly turned grey and cloudy.Winds blew and office buildings collapsed. A telling omen!
3 joggers gazed at a distant star in the sky that appeared right over the White-Care Hospital. Fascinated, they started jogging towards it. The star twinkled and blinked looking like a dumb-bell.
As the baby finally stepped into the world the star crashed and the collapsed making an explosion in the universe and a meteor came rushing towards the Earth. It came and hit a small house on the outskirts of Birlanka. The house burst into flames.
A scream was heard from the house. A painful scream.
Meanwhile, at the hospital, Daanav Daadi looked at the baby and piqued," He is so handsome."
The 3 joggers came to the baby and blessed him," You'll become a great one like us."
Miles away, from the burning little house ran out a man with a woman and baby at his side. They kept running till they reached a safer spot.
The lady collapsed from the exhaustion. The man leaned at her side.
" I just gave birth to a baby in that burning house, had you not come we both would've died, Pesky Pankajji", sobbed the lady.
"Leaky Lata, you and the baby are safe. But let me take you two to hospital. That was a narrow escape."
"Let me see our baby properly", said she and grabbed the little bundle.
"Hey bhagwaaan", leaky leaked.
"No, no it's okay", said Pesky Pankaj.
" All that heat and burning turned her DARK! She is brown! Oh that blasted meteor", she hollered.
" We are secular. We'll raise her well. Don't worry about the colour. I heard that when a GFN is born somewhere, such things happen. God knows which dumbo took birth that the stars crashed", he wondered looking at the sky.
"We can NEVER step into Birlanka now. That city is out of limits for our girl now. What if she is seen by Daayan? How do we go to hospital now?"
The couple looked at each other, worried.
-----------------------------------
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Current Affairs
