Posted:
A warning and a writer's note:
So, one fine day I decided to ask my friend aimy for a dare since my truth confounds more than convinces! And she handed out 3 prompts, out of which I had to choose one.
It was hard, since I really liked 2 so much that I will probably end up writing the other one as well.
Now come on, it has to be atleast 1000 words (which on a good day is a piece of delicious bakery made goodness layered with cream and grated chocolate *cough* Cake *cough* and I have a day to write it.
So, I was like this yesterday:
Concept:
Roomies.
Conditions/Hints : Forced to share an apartment/room. VidArth not really in good terms.
Difficulty level: Easy peasy lemon squeazy!
And all would have been well if not for the fact that:
I feel that brownies and homicide make a good combination.
I want to lie in my bed and I will sell my soul to make that pain in my tummy go away.
You know girls, be careful. The next time you feel All izz well Mommy Nature might go "Nope."
So now, difficulty level: Ninja.
Bear with me, because Innovation and a strong deep urge to strangle someone do not go well.
And as a bonus: My prompt for this piece requires Vidarth to be on not neccesarily good terms.
Oh Joy!
You have been warned.
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What is worser than having a hangover?
Remember that one guy from college, you know, that one guy who you had a ridiculous crush one? The same guy who never gave you the time of the day and called you a number of kid-unfriendly terms?
Yeah, that guy!
The same guy who became your boyfriend in the last year, the same guy who stood by you when you were doing your internship, the guy who was more happy than you were when you got your dream job. The guy who made the rest of the world feel insignificant.
The same guy who made you feel insignificant when he said he needed to be away from you. Because he can't take your ambitious greed anymore. The same guy who made you hate the world and everything in it (including yourself. Especially yourself) for 2 years.
Now picture having him in your office, your boss introducing him to you and informing that instead of you going alone, this man will be the person who will go with you to the conference of a lifetime.
Imagine the panic slowly sinking in, deep, falling to the bottom of your stomach, imagine the dryness of your throught, and the frantic need to breathe. And then imagine that thrill in the pit of your stomach when he shakes your hand and introduces himself. (Even though you know each other better than you know yourselves.)
"Parth Kashyup." his perfect teeth are seen thanks to his equally perfect smile.
You smile your best corporate smile "Vidushi Kumar"
You could feel his hand grow colder.
You could feel the coldness in his voice when he said "Nice to meet you, Miss. Kumar"
You contemplate faking illness to get out of facing him, alone for 4 days.
But then, something in that smirk he gives you when he lets go of your hand makes you determined to go with it. You won't be the one to back down. Not like last time.
Imagine a plane ride, enhanced by the conflict of wanting to run to the other side of the world or wanting to look at his face and committing every detail of it into your memory. And then cursing yourself for doing exactly what got you in trouble years ago. Imagine being forced to remind yourself that he is nothing but a pretty face, especially when he speaks impeccable french, doesn't ogle the flight attendant and remembers you don't eat meat.
It's only when you get to your hotel that you remember that no one made arrangements for a room. For him.
And you end up having to share a room (Thank you Some random cultural meeting that caused the city hotels to be packed to full capacity! Thank you very much!)
The uncomfortable tension in the lift.
The horrible realization that there is only one bed.
And no sofa. Just two chairs and a nice table.
The sofa, the bellboy explained, had to be taken for cleaning.
And you control the urge to roll your eyes.
Great.
When the door closes it's a stare down.
His eyes lock with yours.
2 years 3 months 10 days and he hasn't changed a bit.
Neither has the urge to feel his arms around you.
You don't want to be the one to blink first.
Because blinking will mean he wins.
Like always.
Don't blink.
Don't blink.
But your eyes betray you and you run to the bathroom and lock yourself in it.
You breathe.
And breathe and breathe.
And then tell yourself he is nothing to you anymore.
He is just an unwelcome luggage, both emotional and physical.
You splash cold water on your face.
Liar.
He is sitting on the bed, and his eyes meet yours, you glare at him.
"I'm not sharing the bed with you." he sneers, and you feel your heart sink.
"So sleep on the floor" you snap back, injured by him.
"Why don't you sleep on the floor darling?" he asks, his scoff returning to his face.
"Because I'm the lady here Kashyup. And ladies do not sleep on floors. Besides, I'm paying for this room." you add as a last resort.
"WOW! It's still all about money for you!" His words are like a slap to your face "But let me remind you that the company is paying for this not you. And since I am an employee of the company I have the right to sleep on the bed as much as you do."
"Never pegged you to be a bas***d Kashyup"
"Never pegged you to be a static, stuck up bitch Kumar. No wait...I did"
"I hate you."
"I hate you too."
"I'm taking the bed." you childishly leap on the bed and glare at him.
"No you are not. Get off." he pulls you up and looks into your eyes.
"What are you going to do? Call me a worthless, money hungry, materialistic characterless woman?" I screamed into his face "Too bad buddy, you already did that."
His nostrils flared.
"Shut up Vidushi"
"No I will not shut up! And you have no right to tell me any---"
The firmness of his lips on yours.
Despite the loud "NOOO" echoing in your head you kiss him back, fighting his tongue with yours.
He pulls away first, breathless. Conquered.
"I..." he begins.
You wipe your lips with the back of your palm and glare at him.
"You want me. No matter what you will always want me. Money hungry and all that comes with it" you whisper and you turn away from him.
"I...I am sorry---"
"You always are. Sorry for kissing me. Each and every time.Our first kiss, our second kiss and now this! Please! Stop being sorry and let me breathe...Just leave me alone." your voice trembles at the end.
"Go! Just go damn you! I did not ask to for this. For this room, for you! " your hands grab his collar and you shake him "Just go damn you. Looking at that face of yours kills me! How dare you come into my life! I was moving on...I was finally getting over you!"
"You can't let that happen can you? You can never let me be happy. With you or without you, you don't want me to live. Not without missing your hugs, your kisses, your smiles. I even want your lectures back Parth!"
"Vi--"
"No! Just stay away. I'll sleep on the floor." you shove him away from you and retreat into the bathroom, locking yourself behind it.
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What's worser than a hangover?
Making a mistake and realising it every moment of your life.
With every breath you take you feel her absence, your days are dark without her.
And listening to her cry breaks your heart.
"Vidushi, open the door!"
"Leave me alone"
You had made her leave you alone, convinced that she was wrong, her attitude, her greed, her lack of morality...
And then, when she was gone, leaving no numbers, no contacts. Your attempts to contact her always failed.
By the time you realised you wanted her back, that you had made a mistake by expecting her to change so easily and when she hadn't...you had thrown her away. It was too late.
And so you concentrated on your career, just as you imagined she would be doing.
You became an isolated workaholic. Married to the job and blind to the world.
Until you saw her one day, in the metro. And followed her to her office.
You did some extra work to ensure you got transferred to her office, with exemplary letters of recommendation.
And a ticket to accompany her to her conference, because of your french.
And then, you ruined it, by being mean, plain mean to her out of irritation, kissing her and calling it a mistake.
The pain in her eyes showed you she isn't happy without you, just like you aren't happy without her.
"Vidushi! Open the door. I didn't mean to..."
The door opens and she stands before you, anger on her face
"Leave me alone! Haven't you done enough? What more do you want Parth? Do you want me dead? Is that it?"
You pull her against your chest.
"I tried. I tried to call you a thousand times. The moment you left I regreted saying that we don't belong together."
"We don't belong together Parth. I am too different. I'm not someone you can love. I'm not someone who will play the saint. I want things, big things, I have big, impossible dreams. I want pretty, beautiful things" she sighed "Atleast those pretty things will never call me names or leave me, they will never break my heart."
"Now you are being dramatic."
"You don't know a thing about being made to feel worthless Parth. Money is the only way I can be someone!" her words end with a frantic sob.
She pushes you away and composes herself, walking to the bed and taking out her laptop.
You watch her tear stained face as she makes herself go over her notes.
It's a mess, you are a mess, she's a mess.
You were wrong and she was wrong.
You took her for granted and expected her to be happy to see you.
"Parth?"
You look up to see a smile on her face.
"Thank you, for reminding me that love is a waste of time. I will never love again."
You want to drag her off the bed and shake her hard.
"I know Princess." you walk up to her and kiss her cheek "But I will fight for us this time. Remember how you made me fall for you in college? I'll make you fall for me. "
She shakes her head "Bitches can't love Parth"
You can't take it anymore.
The laptop crash lands on the floor and she lies back on the bed, you hovering over her.
"4 days. I will make you see that I love you and you love me."
"No." she shakes her head.
"I can always tell when you are lying. You still love me. You never stopped, just like I can never stop loving you . Give me a chance."
"I can't...what if you hurt me again?" her voice is soft and scared.
"I can't hurt you again...It will be like hurting myself. I know it is hard...but I want you back, I was stupid to think that I could live without you." you let go of her.
"I need some time Parth. 2 years and 3 months. They were horrible and lonely. You can't make them go away with a sorry!"
"I'm sorry for putting you through this. I wish I never had." you exhale.
"4 days. I give you four days. If I can't forgive you..." she pauses
"I won't leave you alone again. Unless you tell me you don't want me anymore."
"I never stopped wanting you Parth" her eyes burn with anger "You stopped wanting me."
You can't take it anymore.
"Check your email Vidushi."
"Huh?"
You pull out your phone and show her your sent mail.
1000 emails. All addressed to her.
All the same in essence.
"I love you Vidushi, I made the biggest mistake of my life by asking you to leave. Please call me" her voice trembles as she reads the words. One by one, she opens all of them, tears running endlessly down her cheeks as she reads them all.
2 years, 3 months and ten days.
It takes her hours to get to the last one.
The one dated yesterday.
"I'm going to get you back love. Even if it means falling to your feet and begging you. Because living without you is no life at all."
She sobs, pushing your phone at you.
"Why? Why can't it be simple? Why can't I stop feeling for you?" she asks, her eyes accusing you of murder.
"Because I can't stop loving you." you tell her, holding her in your arms.
She sobs into your shoulder.
"I wish..." she sighs.
"I wish I could go back in time too, and that I had never broken up with you. But we can't change the past. The future, the present...it is up to you...I love you." you kiss her head.
"I'm confused Parth. I love you. But then I hate you as well." her hand clutches your shirt.
"Do you love me more than you hate me?" you ask hopefully.
"I hate you Parth. But I love you more" she whispers.
"I promise I will never ever put us through this again." you tilt her face up and place a kiss on her forehead.
"You try. I will kill you." she growls.
The woman you love is back in your arms.
You hug her tight.
Feeling her hug you back makes you feel alive.
"I'm not sleeping on the floor" she mumbles. "I said that because I was pissed."
You can't help but laugh. "Of course you aren't."
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Written while I was rabid, wanting to kill anyone who came around me, eat the contents of the entire kitchen and listening to Three Days Grace
Aimy I am sorry if this monstrosity made no sense!
Please do not kill me for this!
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