not always mother is more effected!

Hello all, this post is not to offend ladies,im a lady.myself. Im giving you a real life situation which happened in.my hometown andhra pradesh,India!

Madhu no one is saying that Ahem was not affected. Both were affected equally but as you will discover in each relationship one will be stronger in normal day to day activities, as in the case of Ahem, but in losing Meera Gopi became the stronger. She went through the same emotions on the day but somehow her grief was pushed to the background. Sometimes it takes a trauma to ascertain who the stronger character is.

Both were effected, one blamed the other for the lose and had full family support and other was burdened with guilt with no support system and forced to take the decision to leave.

Thank you for creating this topic! I agree 100%!

Originally posted by: ..RamKiJanaki..

Thank you for creating this topic! I agree 100%!

Both a mother and father are equally important in a child's life. Just because a woman carries the child does not make her love greater, and nor does it give her a greater right over the child than the father. Both have EQUAL right and always will, unless they abuse the child in which case they lose the right.

One thing I've seen in this forum is people defending Gopi saying she deserves Vidya more because she gave birth to her. While I too defend Gopi, it's for different reasons, not because she gave birth to Vidya. I think in the case of Vidya, both Ahem and Gopi have an equal right over her, because although Ahem has failed terribly as a husband, we all agree that he's a great father. In Vidya's POV, she deserves both parents and both parents love/deserve her equally.

I say it becomes hard to see ahem's pain because he's mothers interference had made him bitter towards gopi. Both were trying to grieve and koki drove the wedge, she saw her and her son's pain and nothing else.

Originally posted by: angelic8219

Both were effected, one blamed the other for the lose and had full family support and other was burdened with guilt with no support system and forced to take the decision to leave.

Ahem would have been just as equally devastated as Gopi, but Gopi on top of that had to deal with guilt for being responsible (even though it was just an accident she will always blame herself indirectly - these things happen - that's why they are called "accidents" they are not done on purpose but you will always wonder if there was something you could do to prevent it etc). Plus on top of that Gopi could have been suffering from hormonal changes during pregnancy which tends to make you even more emotional then usual..

So for Ahem there was grief...

For Gopi it was grief plus the additional burden of guilt...