OS:Revenge of Horse

Observation

Just one last thing before I am done for the night. Can anyone locate the poor horse that had its tail lopped off to make Urmila's hair extensions. She keeps stroking it and I am sure the poor horse is turning round and thinking "I had a lovely tail to swish and hide my bottom and now it is not there anymore. I want to swat flies. Where is my tail?" next you'll see Urmila and that pony tail will swish from side to side by itself.

Letter

Dear Munni

I spoke to Xarina and she said that you would be the best person to speak to because you have connections with the spy world.

As you know, I am lamenting that my beautiful tail has been cut off and given to a horse imposter, who's name is Kurmila Bhai. Please Munni, I dearly want my tail back, I miss it so much. Gone are the days when I could stand in a field and swish may tail and swat away the flies. Now instead of the lovely feeling of my tail on my bottom I just feel the slaps that my stumpy tail has given me. I have tried to fit a jharoo (brush) but it is not the same. It was bad enough when she took a few teeth but my tail? What did I ever do to her?

I have enclosed with this letter a blueprint for revenge. Personally, I would like her to be tied up to a tanga/carriage and make her pull it each and every day for the strands of my horse hair she has taken. If there is any consolation of her wearing my tail it is this. Before my tail was so cruelly cut off, I crapped myself and rolled in it so the tail has been really well conditioned.

I sincerely hope that you can help me.

Neighfully yours

A Ghora

Revenge of Horse

It was the dead of night and there was a faint light coming from the stable. All the animals were asleep but not horse. For days he had wondered around in a foul mood. Perplexed by his missing tail and distraught when he discovered who exactly was in possession of it. So here he was in his stable, blueprints on the table plotting his revenge. He had thought long and hard as to what he wanted to do. He sat at the table, reading glasses on his head, looking down at the diagrams in front of him.

"What to do?" he kept asking himself and tapped his head with the pencil. And then it came to him. Genius! He snorted with laughter and smacked his forehead with his hoof and promptly saw stars for a few moments. Shaking his head he returned to the blue prints with gusto and drew up his plan. Munni had said that Bond Snr and Bond Jnr were busy with something else but had sent him some advice. Adding the final touches to his plan he folded away the paper and hid everything in the straw. Then he went to the stable door put his head out of the door, looked at his carriage, had a soft neigh to himself and then went back in got out a book of horse spells and muttered something in horse continuing for a good 15 minutes, decided that was enough and went to sleep.

In Rajpal Nagar Urmila Shah could not sleep. Every time she was about to go into a deep sleep her hair extensions would hit her on the face and wake her up and it there was a strange smell near her. Jeetu had complained about the smell as well and asked Urmila where she had got the hair from. She got so upset when he asked her.

"What do you think this is? Do you think I got this from anywhere? I got it from the parlour, I did, the parlour and they told me that it is the best human hair they have. So don't complain to me about the smell." And she turned over, Jeetu took his bedding and went out of the room. A mossie(Mosquito) flew near her and buzzed her. Her pony tail swished and hit her in the face, not once but twice. She got up scared. Her pony tail was moving from side to side and with each swipe it slapped her face first one way and then the other. Urmila screamed in fright grabbed the pony tail and threw it on the floor and then ran to get Jeetu.

She dragged him back into the room closely followed by Kinjal and Dhawal.

"Look," she said poking the wig. "It moved. It was going to kill me."Kinjal spoke up in an irritated voice.

"Phai? Are you sure you are not imagining things. You have been stroking that thing and giving it status whenever I see you. Now you are giving it life." Jeetu spoke up in a tired voice.

"Urmila. It is late. I am tired. Now stop your mad screeching and go to bed." And with that he turned and left the room followed by Kinjal and Dhawal. Urmila got back into bed and looked around her fearfully and then slept fitfully.

Morning

Outside in the road of Rajpal Nagar stood a beautiful horse drawn coach. Urmila had decided that she would go and visit Rashi at MM. As soon as she spied the carriage she decided that she would go and see Rashi in style. She walked round the carriage with a goofy smile, salivating at the thought of how elegant she would look arriving at her destination. She stopped in front of horse and stroked her hair. Horse was upset and he looked at his tail lovingly. How could something so beautiful end up on a beast like that?

"Hey bhai?" she opened her mouth, showing her teeth and frightened horse. He couldn't help it and promptly emptied his bladder near her. She quickly jumped out of the way, cursing and trying to look refined at the same time. "Hey Bhai take me to Modi Mansion."

"Madam, I have got to run an errand. I shall be back in a few minutes." And with that he was off. Leaving Urmila preening herself. She decided to ring Rashi and tell her to be ready for her grand entrance.

She finally got tired of waiting and with an evil glint in her eye she got into the carriage, picked up the reins and whipped horse to make him move. Horse had been waiting for this moment. With a neigh he reared up and shot forward making Urmila fall onto the back seat. Horse took off down the street at breakneck speed. Urmila, with great difficulty managed to find her feet, fix her flower, smooth her hair and moved to the front of the driver's seat, being jarred and vibrating with every move that the carriage made. Then she noticed to her horror that horse was slowly unhitching himself from the carriage. Horse went faster and the carriage unhitched and was left floundering. Urmila had no choice as the speed of horse catapulted her out of the carriage and she hung onto his back jigging up and down as she tried to hold onto his neck. There was no saddle and she found herself slowly slipping down his flank. Afraid of hitting the road below she hung on with both her arms and legs around his neck. She screamed out at passersby by to help her but most just gawped and watched the humiliation of the "Maharani of Rajpal Nagar."

Horse continued to run until he spied his field. By now there was a steady line of police, Modis (who had already been informed of Rashi's mother's arrival and watched out of curiosity) and onlookers behind them. Horse ran for the dirty little pond at first and jumped in, causing Urmila to be covered in the mostfoulest smelling water imaginable and then his master plan. He headed for the shallow container of manure slurry (this is another name for manure that has had water added to it to make it a little softer and runnier) that had been collected. He headed straight for it and with a flick of his head sent Urmila flying into it. With a howl she landed in the slurry and floundered around in it getting completely covered. Horse stood nearby with a triumphant look in his eye and neighed as if to say "You took my hair and my teeth! Now you can have my crap as well." Ahem and Jigar reached nearby and both got the fright of their lives as a form covered in manure rose up and howled. Such a fright that they both hugged each other for security before realising the form was indeed Urmila and both fell about laughing uncontrollably.