New FF: Sacrifice pt40 updated Pg 71

Part 1

Its been almost 18 months since Gopi had left the Modi parivar. Gopi is standing by the window in office that is in the back of the restaurant where she works and is 50% owner. She is thinking where has the time gone, when she left the Modi's on that fateful day, she didn't know this is where she would end up. If she hadn't met the person who is her best friend now and other owner of this restaurant she would not have survived. She flashes back to the events of the past.

About 18 months before.

Gopi is in the MM, she has been very happy this week, Ahemji was finally acting nice towards her thanks to Nani's coming and Vachan that he gave to Maji. She quickly gets ready for the day, she showers and goes straight to the mandir and start to get things ready for the pooja, after that she goes to the kitchen and gets breakfast ready. Everyone comes down for the pooja, Gopi then notices that Ahemji didn't look well, he had dark circles under his eyes, his hair is not styled as usual, and now that she thinks about it he hasn't been eating well since that night, he looked tense. She gets sad thinking she is not keeping her part of the Vachan to keep him happy, when did she start worrying about her happiness, and didn't even notice that he was not happy at all, he can't even take his temper out on her because Nani was always around. She is thinking she should try to avoid situation where he would have to be nice to her, may be then he will relax. She decided to start that day to come up with things to do so she is not in his presence unnecessarily.

Everyone goes to breakfast, Gopi serves everyone, making sure to serve Ahem because Nani was watching carefully, she avoided looking at him and quickly went back to the kitchen making excuse of bringing more food out, suprising Ahem, he looks up frownig watching her leave, he finishes breakfast and tells mani to call Gopi to come do tikka so he could go to the office, everyone moves toward the hall, Gopi comes with thali to do tikka, when she does the tikka on his forhead, she feels his forehad with her finger and it felt warm like he was having a fever, againg she is thinking he is not feeling well and not telling anyone. The men leave for work, and the ladies start the house work for the day

Later in the day Ahem returns home since he hasn't been feeling well, all the stress was catching up with him. He is very tense being forced to do the things he doesn't want to do. He is thinking why is mom putting me thru these thing, she knows I don't love Gopi, he felt sorry for her, that was why he tried to be nice to her. As soon as he starts being nice to her she gets the look on her face like he is falling for her finally then he has to get angry with her to remind her he doesn't love her, he never will, he only loved Anita who he had to sacrifice for his mom's sake.

Gopi is the reason his sister had to marry Dhaval, if he had married Anita like he was supposed to Umang would't have played with Kinjlel's emotions and now she would have been happily married to Elesh. He blames Gopi for all the things that has happened in MM, what did his mom see in her, so what if she could cook, and keep the house, how to do all the pooja and she respects everyone and wants to please everyone, she is stupid in all the other areas, she can't even talk without stuttering.

On the other hand she is beautiful in her own simple way, especially when she wear his favorite color, when he sees her in green something comes over him all he wants do is pick her up and take her to their room and satisfy all his desires, he is attracted to her, but is physical attraction enough for marriage, attraction dies a quick death once its satisfied, you can't base a marriage on physical attraction without the emotions. He is so stressed out having to spend so much time close to her it was getting harder and harder to hide his desires and attractions from her, especially since she is so close at night, he is unable to sleep thinking abuot how close she is to him.

Just then Gopi comes in the room, once again wearing a simple green sari, his thinking oh god here we go again he get tense and glares at her, thinking please don't look at me too closely, she gives him a hesitant smile, she looked scared, at least its not one of her full blooming smile like she is really happy with her life at the moment and she wants to please everyone, that smile sometimes go straight to his heart and stays there to torture him when he is alone. She asks him if he was feeling ok, if needed something, he glares at her and says what's it to you how I feel, live me alone, she gets scared by his temper and says you were feeling a bit warm this morning like you had a fever, did you want me to bring you medicine and your dinner up here so you can rest afterwards.

He is thinking what is she made of, why does she not ever get mad at anything I say to her, he was so tired of acting like he is mad at her all the time, he finally relents and nod his head, he has to start feeling better before he starts making mistakes at work because he is not feeling well. He can't think anymore, he goes in the bathroom and changes out of his suit into the powdered blue sherwani and sits on the sofa and rest his head back and closes his eyes.

Sometimes later he hears thunder in the background, and thinks there is a big storm coming tonight with more rain from the sounds of the wind blowing outside. He hears Gopi coming, she brings his food and places it in front of him and says you should eat first and then take the medicine, call if you need anything, I will come and get the dishes later and she leaves. He thinks she must be really scared now, she is probably thinking he was going to yell at her again, she looked like she was running instead of just walking her slow walk, he decided to make an effort to be little more calmer or Nani is not going to believe there is nothing wrong in his marriage. He eats the food and takes the medicine and goes and lays down on the bed, the medicine had started working immediately, plus he was tired so he fell asleep right away, still with all the confusing thought in his head.

Part 2

Back to 18 months after Gopi leave MM

Gopi still standing at the window thinking about the past, all the memories are flooding back, somone had remided her that it was teej in couple of days, and that had brought all the memories back like quick sand, not that they were far away, not a day goes by that she hadn't thought about Ahem and that night, that one memory will forever be in mind, close to her heart, for on that night Ahem had physically excepted her as his wife if not emotionally, it was the combination of things, his stress, the medicine, and storm raging outside that night, as she thinks about it now, she is sure if he was not sick or tense he would have never touched her that night, until this day she has not figured out why he did it. Again in FB

18 months before

Gopi comes in the room to take the dishes, she sees that he is sleeping, so she takes the dishes without making any noise and goes downstairs, she doesn't mention his illness to anyone, she did not want to worry anyone. She goes back to the room and put her bed down and lays down, after a while it starts raining outside and there is more lightning and thundering, the wind blows open the window, she quickly gets up to close the window, she didn't want the noise to wake Ahem up, after she closes the window she looks to be sure he is still sleeping.

Ahem is twisting and turning and he is also moaning, she hesitates but goes to check on him, she hesitates, but in the end sits on the bed and feels his forehead, and he is burning up with fever, she prays to Kanaji, gets up and goes into the bathroom and brings out a wet cloth to put on his forehead, the cold cloth immediately calms him down and he is resting, she does this several times, when she starts to get up, Ahem takes hold of her hand and pulls her on the bed, she looks up, but sees that he is still sleeping, she tries to get up, but he his hold is too tight.

Ahem is dreaming, or so he thinks, he is too out of it to notice what he is doing, he feels a soft body against him and he starts touching her everywhere, he call out a name, in his delirium he gives into his desire for Gopi, he touches her everywhere, he kisses her neck, her lips, he is not in his senses, the storm is raging outside, while another kind of storm is raging inside of their room and their hearts.

Gopi knows in back of her mind that what they were doing was not right, that he is not in his right mind, but she is so lost in his touch that she won't realize it until it is too late to do anything about it. After awhile it is all calm, Ahem, not realizing he was not dreaming, or what he had done, is once again in deep sleep, Gopi looks over at him and thinks, oh Kanaji what have I done, he is going to regret this in the morning, he will be so angry, what should I do? She has tears in her eyes, she knows that if he remebers this night, she will end up paying the price for the pleasure of being in his arms, because when he comes to know he will hate her more, he will feel more trapped, she prays that he don't remember. She will not trap him into this marriage. She promised Maji she will think of his happiness, and his happiness is not with her, it is with somone else, no she will not say anyting to anyone about this night, she gets up from the bed, fixes her sari and lays down on the floor, it is a long time before she is able to sleep.