Yes, it's back!!
On Anol da's request, I will be continuing the story from where he left off. The story so far:
Originally posted by: soulsoup
It's SRGMP + India Forum Soap Opera Script. There should be many many characters and sub-characters. Take the story as you wish – any wacky turn / twist are allowed. You can use any person from SRGMP and India Forum. Beg, borrow and steal from any bollywood movie if you wish. I started the story like this -
Episode 1:
Once upon a time there were two brothers – Bapi Gua and Papi Gua. They used to live peacefully in a village near Ramgar.
Both went o kumbh-mela once – Got tattooed themselves using same pattern all over their body – over and over again – till the point of time only the eyes are visible.
After that (just following the script) they were lost. One was adopted by HR and the other by ID.
<Start the title song here and imagine 2 tattooed Gua brothers growing up – under 2 different Mentors>
One fine morning they came to the India forum. Although they were separated, but they shared the similar traits (in modern science we call it the effect of DNA). Both started spamming the forum! And what a spamming that was. Same post – over and over in all threads OMG.
Finally they came face to face – Bapi recognized Papi and asked him –
"Mera paas bangle hei, gadi hei, Motorola Razor phone hei, MP3 player hei, ………rolex watch hai….Tere paas keya hei?"
Then Papi said –
"Could you repeat the question please?"
Both hugged each other and lived happily ever after.
Meanwhile on planet earth....
ID and HR were not brothers (only 'cause they didn't go to Kubhmela before). But it turned out to be like this -
ID gave rs 50 to HR - looong loong time back as a loan. After Guas found each other ID found HR too - and the new saga started
ID demands his 50 rs back from HR
<insert a copied version of 'paanch rupiya bara ana' by Kishore - replace all 5.12 rs with 50 rs>
HR refused by saying that money was used to invest in India - and now he is bankrupt. Then ID walked out from the show in protest - came back later and took HRs lucky topi as hostage....Episode 2:
HR came to rescue his topi to ID's den in disguise (ok he just shaved his beard and put on a new pair of jeans – nobody recognized him!)
<add an item number here – performer of your choice>
But before the song finished AD (don't ask me what he was doing there) said – stop this nonsense – music track me ghotala hei! Things went into utter chaos – Abhi was really angry – he said some foul words to 'mona' darling and Big B 😉 asked him to get out of the adda. Chicken-Soup said he will go into bhukha hartal jabtak uske demand nehi pura kiye jate.
<add background scrore from Bhagat Singh>
Meantime ID recognized HR (by his signature voice) and said to his right hand Zahida –
"isko sui lagake side me phek do – log samjhenge ke suicide kia hei"
Episode 3:
But Zahida was more cruel than ID. She put HR in the same room with Siddhu.
After 24 hours of non stop torture – HR forgot everything (amnesia!) – Even he forgot songs should come out of his mouth – nowhere else. Then ID ke logo ne use Assam janewali train pe utha diya.
Idhar Abhi tanha tanha ghum raha tha – use raste me Seema...umm.. Celina ..(chalo job hi ho) milgeyi - dono sapne me Switzerland chala geya.
[Budget cut ho geya to Khandala]
<Cut shot : Chicken Soup Bhuk hartal ke samay actually chocolate kha raha tha>Episode 4
Half mad HR ko – ULFA ke kuch logo ne Asaam me panha de diya. They had a resident teen Indian doctor (dikhneme kuch Pretie Zinta jaise hei) –who did the therapy for HR. That was a different kind of therapy – she asked HR to consistently do sit ups 20 times in every hour 😉 + hourly dose of 'Milk of Magnesia" (the perfect cure for amnesia)
HR dhire dhire thik hone laga plus usko ULFA ke terrorist 'bhai log' se AK47 chalane ka training bhi mil raha tha. ULFA ke gang ki aur ek cute si ladki (named Jem) se HR ka sammandh bhi dire dhire grow karne laga.
<Yahoo! Song situation again- "tere naam!??">
Ekdin HR dekha duuurse ek baccha topi pehenke guiter leke ja raha hei. HR ko topi dekhke kuch kuch yaad aa raha tha – usne bacche ko paas bulaya aur pucha – 'trea naam keya hei Vinit?". Vinit ne jwabab me apna shawl HR ko diya – aur achanak HR ko saab yaad ageya.
Usne sidha train pakdi aur Mumbai jake haazir hua ID ke den me aur bola – 'Ye Topi Mujhe dede Thakur (ID)"
To be continued.......
Upon reaching, HR found ID sprawled on a settee, drinking tea.
ID: Aao HR. Chai piyoge? Zahida. Chai lao!
(Zahida appears in an instant with a fresh cup of tea)
ID: Lo piyo. Assam se fresh shipment aayi hai.
HR: Main import ki hui chai nahi peeta 🤢
(Zahida and ID look at each other and shake their heads)
ID: Koi bat nahi. Aao baitho.
HR: Main dushman ke saath nahi baithta 😡
ID: Dushman? Lekin Anu Malik aur Sonu Nigam to yahan nahi hai.
HR: Mazak mat karo! Tum hi mere sab se bade dushman ho.😡😡
ID: Arre kya baat kar rahe ho. Hum dono ka to koi aapas mein competition hi nahi hai. Tum naak se gaate ho, main kan ke neeche bajata hoon.
Zahida: 😆
HR: Shut up!! Give me my topi you %&%^&%^^$*&!! 😡😡😡
ID: I'm sorry but I don't understand English 😳.
HR: Meri topi kahan hai!!
ID: Topi? Pata nahi. Zahida?
Zahida: Bahot maili thi to maine laundry me de di.
HR: Laundry? Nahiiiiiiiin!!! 😭😡
Zahida: Rone ki koi baat nahin. Laundry wala bahut sasta hai. Aur topi to chaka chak chamka kar ekdum saaf kar dega. 😃
HR (uncontrollable now): Bas karooo!! 😭
(Zahida looks at ID, confused 😕)
HR: Meri jaan ka pata bata do mujhe. 😭
Zahida: Jaan?
HR: Meri topi!!! 😡 Kaunse ^%&^$* laundry wale ko de aai ho? 😡
Zahida: Aasaan raasta hai. Pehle right jaana, phir doosre left jaana, phir right, phir wapas palat kar left, phir left, phir thoda right, phir left.. aur do mile ke baad phir left.. aur..
ID: Kya kar rahi ho? Bechare ko confuse karogi kya?
HR: Koi baat nahin. Main apni jaan ko khushbu se hi dhoondh loonga. Bas yeh bata do ki purab ki taraf hai ki paschim ki taraf.
(And so he sets off, and an hour later reaches the laundry.)
HR: Meri topi kahaan hai!
Dhobi: Kaunsi topi? Koi number hai aapke paas?
HR (grabs him by the collar): Meri ek hi topi hai! Uska number mat lagaao! Woh anmol hai!! 😡
Dhobi (sniffing the air): Arre yeh badboo jaani pehchani si lag rahi hai. Yaad aaya! Woh phati purani topi me se bhi yehi badboo aa rahi thi!
HR: Thi?? Matlab? Kahin tumne usko..
Dhobi: Nahi nahi. Maine dhone ki bahut koshish ki.. lekin woh badboo bilkul nahi gayi - nahi woh top saaf hui.
HR (cheering up): Wah! Superb!
(Dhobi is totally confused by now)
HR: Main jaanta tha woh bewafa nahi niklegi! 😛 Laao mujhe do!
Dhobi: Woh to maine bahut pehle ID ji to wapas kar di.
HR: Kya!😡
(He walks back to ID's house)
HR: Mujhe pata hai meri topi tumhare paas hai! Mujhe de do warna..!
ID: Warna..
(HR starts singing Tera Suroor in his most nasal voice. After Oooooooo Huzzooooor, ID cannot bear it any more!)
ID: Bas bas, mujhe maaf kar do! Batata hoon. Kuch din pehle jab Sharib Lata ji ke saath gaana gane aaya tha to maine use de di thi.
HR: Kyaaa! Sharib ko! ^%&%&*^&*%&*! 😡😡
ID: Tum usi se le lo.
HR: Woh kahaan milega?
ID: Woh aaj kal Ek Main Aur Ek Tu mein hissa le raha hai.
HR: Ek Main Aur Ek Tu? Yeh kya hai?
ID: Pata nahi tumko? Gajji ne naya game show shuru kiya hai. Puraane C2005 ke contestants ke saath.
HR: Kya! Vinit ko kyon nahi khilaya!! 😡😡
ID: Mujhe kya pata. Tum khud pooch lo. Mujhe baksh do ab.
HR: Main jaa raha hoon topi ki talaash mein. Lekin hamaara maamla khatam nahi hua abhi. Main Challenge 2006 mein phir miloonga! Aur is bar main hi jeetunga!
(HR leaves)
ID (to Zahida): Lagta hai Geography ke saath saath iski History bhi kamzor hai. 😉
(HR suddenly comes back)
ID: Ab kya hua?
HR: Woh chai zara milegi?
Zahida: Kyun nahi 😊
(She hands him the tea and he flips the cup over and spills some on his jeans)
Zahida: Yeh kya kiya aap ne?? Aap ki jeans pe daag lag gaya!
HR: Yess! Mind-blowing! Ab main sukoon se mission par nikal sakta hoon.
(Saying this, he leaves in search of Sharib, Gajji, and his topi at the EMAET sets)
____________________________________________________________ _________________
Updated April 27th
Kabhi added on to the story at this point:
Originally posted by: kabhi_21
When HR meets Sharib
Shatib : 😛 Are sir Aap? Lekin Vinit to EMET main nahi Hain.😆 😆
😆
HR: 😡 😡 I hv come to meet you... Where is my topi?Sharib: Kaunsi Topi 😕 😕
HR: Wahi Jo ID ji ne tumhe di thi 😡 😡. Meri Jaan 😭 😭
Sharib: 🤢 🤢 Mujhe ID ji ne di lekin main use pehan nahi paya
HR: Accha kiya nahi to meri topi maili ho jati. 😛 😛
Sharib: Lekin me use apko nahi de sakta.
HR: kya? 😡 😡 😡
Sharib: ID ji ne mujhe vaada kiya tha ke vo mera gaana lata ji ke saath record karenge. Lekin ab to lataji ko ake bahot vaqy hua. Isliye me unke paas gaya. 😡 😡 To unhone gaana dene se inkaar kiya aur badle me ye topi di hain.
HR : Mujhe meri topi chahiye 😡 😡 😡
HR: 😕 😕 me tumhe lataji ke sath to nahi gawa sakta. lekin agar tum mujhe topi doge to me tumhe twinkle ke saath gaana gawaunga.Sharib: 😳 😳
Sharib: Lekin mujhe uske saath Video me bhi aana hain 😳 😳
I will continue from this point forward:
HR: Bas bahot ho gaya. Ab yeh dramebaazi nahi chalegi. Tum mujhe terms dictate nahi karoge. 😡
Sharib: Lekin main Twinkle ke saath..
HR: Twinkle ka to waise bhi popularity dekh kar sar phir gaya hai, aur ab main uske liye video bhi banaao? Nahi!
Sharib: Lekin Twinkle se aap ko kya problem hai?
HR: Voh ID ki student thi - aur main ID se judi har cheez se nafrat karta hoon 😡😡
Sharib: Lekin ab to voh.....
HR: Bahas mat karo! Twinkle video main nahi aayegi. No exceptions!
Sharib: To main kya karoon. Mujhe video me aana hai
HR: Tum kisi aur ka naam lo. Uske saath video banaaonga.
Sharib: Accha.. to mujhe Himani bhi pasand hai.😛
HR: Shaaaaribbbbbb!!!!😡😡
Sharib (cowering): Sirrr....😲😲😕
HR: Tumhari himmat kaise hui! Mere Vinit ki chaahat pe nazar daalne ki?? 😡
Sharib: Lekin sir, maine to...
HR: Dost ho kar dost ki mohabbat pe daaka!! 😡 Mere jeete ji aisa kabhi nahi hoga. Main apni maa ki kasam kha kar kehta hoon!
Sharib: Sir aap galat samajh rahe hain. Himani to meri behen hai.
HR: Jhoot mat bolo. Tumne khud kaha hai ki voh tumhe pasand hai.
Sharib: Haan, lekin behen ki tarah. Usme mujhe apni behen nazar aati hai.
(HR begins to melt at this. Sharib sees that and continues)
Sharib: Mujhe apni behen ki bahut yaad aati hai. Main usko bahut miss karta hoon. Jab se EMAET shuru hua main us se mila bhi nahi 😭
HR (hugs him): Tum apne aap ko bilkul akela mat samajhna. Tumhe apni behen ki yaad aa rahi hai na? Meri behen tumhari bhi behen hai. Aur meri maa tumhari maa. Aao main tumhe unse milata hoon.
Sharib: 🤔
HR: Aao mere saath.
Sharib: Voh yahaan hai??
HR: Yahaan nahi. Humein flight pakar ke mere gaaon jana hoga.
Sharib: Lekin sir - main yahaan participate kar raha hoon Chod ke kaise aaonga?
HR: Wah! Mujhe khushi hai ki tum apne kaam se bewafai nahi kar rahe ho!
Sharib: Lekin mera video?
HR: Koi baat nahin. Main Ujjaini ko lekar tumhare saath video banaaonga.
Sharib: Ujjaini? Lekin sir, voh mere liye kaafi badi hai.. 😕
HR: Badi kahaan. Sirf 18 saal ki hai.
Sharib: Lekin bahut moti hai sir. Main uske saamne kaadi lagoonga.
HR: Us se koi farq nahi padta. Vinit khud Himani se ek foot chota hai. Lekin dono main itna pyaar hai. Kya Chemistry hai. Kya jodi hai! 😳
Sharib: Par...
HR: Aur mujhe khud dekh lo. Kya meri aur Deepika Padukone ki koi jodi lagta hai? Phir bhi maine uske saath Suroor video main kaam kiya tha.
Sharib: Baat to hai...
HR: Main itna cool dude, jeans, topi, daari ke saath.. aur voh ek dum maamuli si ladki... phir bhi humari jodi logon ko pasand aai.
Sharib: Pasand aai?? 😕😕
HR: Kyon. Tumhe koi shaq hai! 😡
Sharib: Nahi sir. Lekin main Twinkle ke saath hi jodi banana chahta hoon.
HR (shaking his head): Tum ladke log nahi sudhroge. Kitni baar Vinit ko samjhaya ki pyaar ke chakkar mein mat pado, lekin voh pad gaya. Ab usko nahi rok paya to tumhe kya rokoonga.
Sharib: 😃
HR: Lekin video nahin banaaonga. Voh to maine Vinit aur Himani ko promise kiya hai. Jab tak unka video nahi banta, aur kisi ka nahi. Kuch aur bolo.
Sharib: Accha to kam se kam aap is contest ke liye meri aur Twinkle ki jodi banva dijiye.
HR: Main jodi kaise banaao? Gajji ko bolo.
Sharib: Gajji, Hari ji, aur Les ji ne meri jodi Twinkle ke saath nahi banaae. Banjyotsna ke saath banaae.
HR: Kaun Banjyotsna?😕
Sharib: Aapko yaad nahi? C2005 mein thi. Assam ki ladki.
HR: Kya!! Assam!! 😵😵
Sharib: Haan.
HR: Yeh nahi ho sakta. Tum Assam ki ladki ke saath jodi nahi banaaoge Sharib!
Sharib: Yeh to main bhi nahi chahta. Lekin judges ne to...
HR: Main dekhta hoon tumko kaun majboor karta hai! Gajji kahan hai!! 😡
(They find Gajji in the recording room)
Gajji: Arre HR ji. Bahot din ho gaye.😊
HR: Gajji! Yeh main kya sun raha hoon?
Gajji: Kya hua?
HR: Aap Sharib ki jodi Twinkle ke saath na bana kar Assam ki ladki ke saath bana rahe ho?
Gajji: Uska naam Banjyotsna hai.
HR: Jo bhi ho. Mere liye to voh pardesi hai. Uska visa check kiya?😡
Gajji: HR ji.. Relax. Yeh faisla mere nahi, Hari-Les ji ka hai.
HR: Lekin aap unko rok to sakte the! Aapko maloom hai, pehla pyaar topi ki tarah hota hai. Na usse bhula sakte hain, na nazron se door kar sakte hain, na kisi aur ke saath dekh sakte hain!! 💔
Gajji: Main samajhta hoon. Main Hari-Les ji se baat karoonga.
HR: Abhi baat karo!!
Gajji: Haan haan karta hoon. Lekin pehle aap yeh bataao, Vinit kaisa hai?
(HR forgets his anger and cheers up)
HR: Main aapko Vinit ke baare me kya boloon. Aapko to pata hi hai ki voh kitna mind-blowing gaata hai! Aur aaj kal main usse Dubai main shows ke liye le ja raha hoon - Himani ke saath 😉
Gajji (evil smile): Accha? Kya baat hai. Mere paas ek idea aaya. Hum Dubai mein Middle East Muqabla kar rahe hain. Uske liye host ki zaroorat thi. Koi suggestion hai aapke paas?
HR: Mere liya to Vinit se accha koi nahi hai! 🤗
Gajji: To phir Vinit ko hi kyon na bana dete hain MEM ka host!
HR: Superb idea! Aap great ho Gajji! Aur main aise nahi keh raha hoon. Main apni maa ki kasam kha ke kehta hoon!!
Gajji: Nahi aisi koi baat nahi hai. Bas aap is jodi vali baat ko bhoot jaao.
HR: Chalo theek hai.
Sharib: Lekin mera kya hoga??
HR: Bhool jaao Twinkle ko. Waise bhi Vinit aur Himani ke jaisi koi jodi ban nahi sakti.
Sharib: Aap baat se phir rahe ho. Main bhi topi vapas nahi karoonga.
HR: Kya! 😡
Sharib: Aap samajh nahi rahe ho. Banjo aur meri jodi acchi nahi lagti. Bina Twinkle ke main competition se jaldi out ho jaaonga! 😭
HR: Baat sahi hai Gajji.
Gajji (evil smile again): Mere paas iska bhi solution hai. Hum veto ka concept nikaalenge. Jis se judges kisi eliminated jodi ko wapas bula sakenge.
Sharib: Lekin us se mera kya faida?
HR: Main samajh gaya. So you're back to your C2005 tricks, Gajji? 😉
Sharib: Main phir bhi nahi samjha
Gajji: Sharib, voh veto tumhare liye use hoga. Agar tum Banjyotsna ke saath jude rahe to. Hum tumhe eliminate nahi hone denge!
Sharib: Accha, ab main samjha! Thank you! 😃😃
HR: Ab tumhara maamla solve ho gaya. Meri topi mujhe wapas kar do.
(Sharib gives it back to him.)
HR: Aaja meri jaan! 🤗❤️
(He puts it on)
HR: Ab main chalta hoon. Mera yoga trainer mera intezaar kar raha hoga. Nasal training ka time ho gaya.
Gajji: HR ji. Kabhi show mein celebrity judge ban kar bhi aaieye. 😊
HR: Haan zaroor aaonga. Bahot jald.
(Gajji goes to leave him off at the door. Sharib walks backstage, where Twinkle is waitng for him)
Twinkle: Tum ne judges aur Gajji se baat ki?
Sharib: Haan, lekin koi nahi maana. Ab humein Banjo aur Vishwas ke saath hi rehna padega.
Twinkle: Lekin mujhe tumhare bina accha nahi lagega. Jeetne mein bhi khushi nahi milegi. 😒😭
Sharib: Lekin tumhari jeet mein hi meri khushi hogi.
Twinkle: Aww. Aur tumhari jeet mein meri. 😳
(They embrace 🤗)
Sharib (thinking): Don't worry. Ab veto power mera hai to jeet meri hi hogi 😉
Twinkle: Kya sonch rahe ho?
Sharib: Tumhare siva aur kiske baare mein soochonga. 😃
Twinkle: ❤️
Sharib: 😈
To be continued....
(If you guys thought the last part was too corny or mushy 🤢, then blame Anol da.. he wanted romance and chemistry in the soap 😉)
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