Naps pmed and told me ki my next post would be my 10 000th post,,and she was like make it special..had she not told me toh i probably wld have totally missed noticing it,,,but now that i know i was totally torn as to what to do..part of me wanted to make a special post in ayls..coz truly thats the one place where i belong...but then my core said no make it Ashish..coz she IS the reason why or how i ended up coming here in the very first place..so yeah here i am with my 10 000th post as a dedication to meri Ashiiiiii
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Ashi ashi ashi....🤗..i dunno what to tell you which i haven't already said a million zillion times before...but whenever i say all that the intensity the force is much much more and right now the feeling is just overwhelming me like it always does its choking me brimming my eyes with tears and subconsciously making me whisper a Thank You prayer...thak you to Bhaggu for sending you to me..thank you to you for coming in my life..thank you to that very first moment when i saw you...
shiish..i still remember that moment it was as if i was seeing a white light..light that faded everything else into oblivion...i dunno what i felt in that moment i felt as if as if suddenly my heart which had stopped talking to me was screaming out loud OMG for d first time in so so many years i was once again hearing voices within me voices which had been subdued suppressed and drowned out coz they remained unheard for far too long ki finally a moment came when they stopped revealing themselves..voices which represented my secret dreams those dreams who were dying to fly to glide but every now and then they were dying a new death everyday they were loosing the battle of life...voices that belonged to no one else but me my soul...all of these voices had extinguished..my soul had stopped talking to me..it had stopped telling me my purpose in life the one thing for which it had lived and gone on since so many many many past lives..my soul had stopped LIVING...and thats when u came...out of no where or perhaps straight out of heaven's abode...i dunno..i just know that u came and since that moment onwards my life totally changed..as if u had come and enchanted my very life my very soul with some sort of magical spell...i dunno what it was Ashi but forme it wasa life saving drug it was Bhaggu's way of saving me saving my soul from oblivion from loosing its essence...from fading away into nothingness..
u u filled me with light u filled me with hope and faith u filled me wid pride u filled me wid self esteem and u filled me with looooooove immense love for my own self...u made me so freaking proud of myself of who i am what i am u made me accept me the damned way i ammmm...and i finally finally accepted my self so completely so beautifully ki suddenly nothing else and no one else's judgement on me mattered...even today the world judges me and doesn't takes a damned second to write me off and all this is just coz of my physical appearance and shortcomings..but haaaaa...I CARE A DAMN NOW I FREAKING CARE A DAMN...coz Ashiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii u turned every minutest imperfection of my life into a beautiful blessing...shit u made me so so damned proud of myself ki today i can't stop thanking God for making me d way he did..i feel so freaking speciallllllll...i feel so beautiful and i feel as if this is how i was meant to be as if i wouldn't be me without being this ways...and am just helll freaking proud of every fiber of myselffffff...even today there is hardly anyone who thinks am beautiful and capable..but now it doesn't matterrrrrr...coz hellll the moment i look at myself in the mirror i see my eyes shiningg smilinggggggg with nothing but pride and warmth for my reflection...there so isn't a shard of self pity in me coz hellllllllll d moment when i had given up everything succumbed to what the world professed about me th moment when there was nothing left except indulging in self pity that very very moment u came to meeeeeee and saved me from bruising my soul dementing it disrespecting it by cursing God for making me dis ways..shit i was abt to question him ki why he made me so imperfect huh...why he filled my life wid so much struggle why couldn't he had made it simple for me too?...and thats when u came as the answer to all these unasked questions...u came and u shouted Duh uh PERFECT HONA ZAROORI NAHI HAI NAHI HAIPERFECT HONA ZAROORI HAI BUT REAL HONA BOHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT IMP HAI...shit..u saved me from committing the most pathetic degrading act in life..SELF PITY u saved me from loosing faith in my God omg i can't even imagine my life without believing in himmmmmmm without feeling his presence in my every moment..and just when i was about to quesiton him u came and u reaffirmed my belief in him in his fairness in his loooooooove..i know my God loooooooves me like hellllllllllllll and he is there for me with me through thick and thinnnnnnn and he wld always be there he wld always always protect me my dreams...God i loooooooooove him so sooooooooooo much...🤗...i wish i could go out there and hug him haaaaaaaard but damn he toh loves being an invisible force isliye whenever i feel like hugging him i hug myself coz i know he wld feel it..🤗🤗...and coz u came and brought me closer to him i now face failures with such pride and passion coz i feel ki if he made me fail toh usmain bhi unka koi special reason chupa hoga perhaps he has some other plans for me something eve better eve bigger..and dis staunch invincible faith in him is coz of u coz u to me u r my mirror of divinity that one farishta he sended for me...
even today there r times when i feel bad...times when i feel am trapped in the middle of a deep deep endless ocean which is rising from all directions and waiting to engulf me and i am just standing there helpless hopeless waiting for doom to fall..but guess what ashi?...i think u knew ki life main aise bohut moments aayenge when my faith would shake and in moment ko conquer karne ke liye u brought beautifulllllllllll beautifulllllllll beautiful BEAUTIFUL friends to my life who believe in me in my dreams who are more confident abt the person i am than even my own self shit Ashiiiiiiiiiiiii i have never had such beautiful friends..friends who understand me more than my own very family friends who have accepted me so profoundly ki they too by their love make me feel hell proud of myself God for the first time i feel as if i belong to some people as if we were meant to be...can't thank u enough for every single one of these beautiful hell special friends...they r my biggest treasure my biggest achievment and i wld always cherish them NO MATTE WHAT
some of them r toh much much more than friends..they r my hope my inspirationnnnnnnnnn....one of them is cho cho chottu ki i feel as if she is my lil babyyyyy i feel as if i aught to protect her preserve her from any harm...lekin most of the time shes is d one doing that she is d one who protects me from oblivion who hamesha inculcates my faith in me and at times when i don't feel it she feels it for meeeeeeeeeee...in her i see a reflection of the one dream i am livingg for...one of them is a person who knows me much much muuuch better than i could ever know myself she is the person who LIVES my dreams fights for them alongside me and belives me in me more than i ever coullllllld she makes me see myself when i close my eyes..and one of them is my bridge to the invisible world she is part of the omens of the miracles part of the very person i ammmm...she is nothing but my onw reflection reflection of every single belie and value which shape up my life..just feeling her fills me wid insanity.."our kind of insanity"..can't just can't thank u enough everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr for sending these three special people in my life...the r my divas my three divas who complete me my divinity,,,
there is much much more to thank u for meri Ashiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii but the one thing for whih i desperately want to thank you for is just being youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...you have no idea ashi but you made me love stormy nights coz helllllllllllllllllllllllllllll u once again made me believe ki the darkest hour of the night is just just before he break of the dawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn... 🤗....i love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu AshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiI LOVE YOU and i wld always love u NO MATTER WHAT a part of me would always thank bhaggu for blessing me with your gift...🤗🤗
and today on your birthday i don't have any visible gift for you but i have something which am sure would swell your heart with pride...today i want to fiercely promise you ki in my lifetime i would spread a bit of Ashiness in the air wherever i gooooooooooo...i know i can never be you..but i badly want to love d way u do dunno if ever i could attain that level of selflessness but atleast i can strive for it...and more than anything else d one thing i want to do which u wld have done without even flinching for a nonnu sa second..i want to fight or others ka dreams just like u did...there r very few people in any any universe who have the courage to dream and actually do something to smoothen someone else's path towards thei dreams...there r very few people who are selfless enough to put their own selves into the dark to bring someone else into light..i don't think i can ever be an inch as selfless as u are..but i badly want to help people achieve their dreams coz i got help from Bhaggu in your form just when i was at the brink of ending it all...and i want to cary this tradition forward..i want to make people believe in the power of hope want to give them faith and confidence when they had lost their own...just want t spread this one message that u filled in my every fiber..ki life would be a miracle all u need to do is FOLLOW YOUR HEART...and this is an unbreakable vow to you Ashi i would do whatever it takes to make people dream and reach out for their dreams..this is my tritubute to u my way of spreading a bit of you your belief your faith your essence and giving it meaning and a forever life....
Happy Birthday Ashiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii🤗u wld always ALWAYS ALWAYS be a part of me🤗 I LOVE YOU
"TOUCH WOOD"😉"TOUCH WOOD"😉"TOUCH WOOD"😉"TOUCH WOOD"😉"TOUCH WOOD"😉"TOUCH WOOD"😉TOUCH WOOD"😉"TOUCH WOOD"😉EDIT EDIT EDIT
forgot to thank u Ashi for giving me meri Priyaaaaaaaaaaaa shish meri Priya who is d miracle behind Ashi without whom Ashhi so wouldn't have been Ashi..looooooooooove u freaking loads Priya for giving us alllllllllllllllllllllll our red head devillll..ANVESHA BANERGI RAY...☺️
"TOUCH WOOD"😉Edited by FollowYourHeart - 15 years ago
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