Sufian walked enough proud of himself, he had no regrets for what he said. She might have won the biggest business deal than him but there's still a chance to screw her victory. However, he felt her something strange; for a person who trapped a rich man into marriage, she didn't show this arrogance of wining instead she looked hurt. When he heard about her marriage, he was shocked, he knew Zoya enough to be sure that she was not this type of woman. Then how come she succeeded in her plan? She looked hurt and shocked for what he said, like there was something else between them. What if...
-Sufian, he greeted him loudly from behind forcing him to turn.
-Oh, Mr Khan, how are you? He tried to sound friendly.
-I am fine, he gave him his hand for shake to which Sufian responded back obligated. Are you leaving already? He asked
-Yes, I am leaving, pointing to the elevator,
-Without meeting me?
-Oh, I came to take some stuff that I left here.
-Some stuff? He looked around Sufian smiling, I can't see anything with you, did you lose them?
-Oh! He felt embarrassed to be trapped, no, I just forgot that I already took everything.
-I understand, I am sorry that you came for nothing, you should have come to see me or Zoya
- I didn't want to disturb you, you must be busy.
-I am indeed, but let me at least share with you the elevator, both stood in front the door waiting to come.
Sufian glanced at him from the corner of his eyes and his tongue was burning to ask him about his marriage. He hit her, now it was his turn, he needs to know more about this marriage, what if there is a way to win much more from him.
-Congratulation for your wedding, I heard about, he tried to sound normal but his tone betrayed his bitterness.
-Oh ya, thank you, I am realy happy and by the way I need to thank you
-To thank me?
-Yes, because of this deal, I met Zoya and I just knew she was the one.
-So soon? He asked skeptical forcing Asad to look at him, I mean ...Don't you think it's too early? He couldn't hold his remarks.
-What are you trying to say? That she is lying to me, using me to have her company back? Or that am I biased because she is a beautiful woman?
-No, no I didn't mean that I just...You know you don't know her for so long
-Like you?
-I...Yes, I know her longer than you do, so if you need my opinion, you should take your time before jumping into this marriage, he suggested annoyed. Asad turned to face him, his hands behind his back. He watched him intently and silently.
-Sufian, I never ask anyone for anything that I am planning to do in work or in life, maybe sometimes, and only with people that I trust. I have my own instinct about people. So if I need your opinion, I would have asked you. But, I am curious to know more, please feel free to share with me what you know about her, I am carefully listening.
-Mister Khan, I didn't mean to annoy you, I am just trying to help. I don't want to say anything wrong about her, she is nice girl we can say that we grew up together. I was working for her dad for so long and she is used to have luxury life, she never worked hard in all her life and all her friends are coming from rich family. Her father pampered her, and he was always here for her needs and everyone will do this for the unique child. Zoya is used to be around rich family and she will always choose people at this level. And now that her dad was no more, and even if she had this company, she wouldn't have know what to do with it. It was predicted that soon or later, she would have lost it. Now that you are in the frame, and you own her company, I expected from her to continue this kind of life. What I meant that marriage needs more reasoning especially for a man like you.
-Like me? What do you mean?
-A rich man, some women can be greedy
-It's the second time you are insulting my judgement on people, Sufian, but don't worry I know those kind of women, he chuckled, I can recognize them easily, he turned to face the elevator. I feel lucky that she said yes to me and I can bet that Zoya is not this type of woman, right? He retorted sharply not leaving to Sufian possibility to argue.
-No of course, she is not, he said dejected, but you never know when people can change, and you can get surprised to be stabbed by the closest person that you trust.
-I guess this is exactly what Zoya and her dad thought once they realized that you took from them their company.
Sufian stayed speechless and his face showed disgust, Zoya might narrate to him. He tried to compose himself.
-This is business, and I told you she would have loose it at the end, Mister Khan, he retorted with audacity. And both of us found a good deal.
-Yes, I found much better than you can imagine, Asad replied proudly, making him burning with jealousy.
-I am curious to know, why you didn't propose to her? You are fitting more than me to be with her. And marrying her, at the end, she would have given this company.
-I am not asking for charity, I found an opportunity to possess this company and to earn even more after selling it. I don't need this marriage, I worked hard enough for so long for them, and I deserved to be reward.
-I understand, as you say, she was used to be surrounded by rich people, she wouldn't have married a person who worked for her or for her dad. Sufian's face twisted with anger, but Asad continued in lighter mode, I mean...I am trying to base my judgment on what you said about her, if it's true.
-Mr Khan, he said sharply, if I can give an advice, you should be sure before. Both exchanged a look challenging the other.
-I am enough sure about her and her motivation, and without being overconfident, I know her maybe more than you. The way you know and you look at her is totally different to the way I am seeing her.
Sufian felt being defeat, he came from different entry and he thought he could put in him some doubt, but it looks like he was under her spell. He was so confident to win over her, to have her company and her, but she proved herself to be tough opponent. She won at every level and he felt frustrated.
-And you know, I will give her back her company
-WHAT? Sufian could hold his shock
-Yes, I mean she will be my wife, even if she didn't ask for it, I will offer her back her company. But don't worry for me, I will wait to get married first, I heard carefully your advice. He shakes his ear playfully.
Sufian was boiling even more, what did he expect? Of course, she will gain back her company without spending a single dollar. He felt another knock of his head.
-Can you imagine Sufian? You give an opportunity to be her hero, thank you for this. Sufian only growled throatily dejected after what he heard. Oh, finally, it came, please, you first.
Sufian stepped in, walking quickly, he needed to digest his loss. It was much more than he thought. Asad stepped inside, his face dressed with uncovered satisfaction. Sufian stood against the wall and Asad clicked on the button. The door closed slowly on them. Sufian loosened his tie, his chest was heavy but suddenly, the elevator stopped brusquely making lose his balance and before he could react, he found himself pressed against the wall by Asad and lifted from the floor. Asad's face changed totally, he moved from smile to anger and straight face, his eyes burning like a volcano. His arms under Sufian's neck, he pressed even more making him suffocated.
-If I heard you again talking to Zoya in this way, I swear I will ruin you and I will let you beg her to save you.
-Asad, his voice strangled in his throat, leave me, he hissed but Asad pressed even more.
-If I see you coming closer to her once-again or just your shadow, I will take this as a challenge and I will finish you, you hear me. Did you HEAR ME? He raised his voice and Sufian shook his head with difficulty. Perfect, Asad let him go and Sufian cough and massaged his painful neck. Asad adjusted his coat and pushed the button to open the door. It was nice to deal with you Sufian. And you know what you are not at all welcome for my marriage. Hope to never see you again...For your safety.
The door opened and some people waiting could see a lying Sufian on the floor. They stepped back when their eyes meet Asad's one. Their eyes moved Asad and Sufian and they didn't need to think about what happened between this two. Sufian aware of those interrogative eyes, stood up and closed the door on their face. All of them started to gossip, but Asad didn't care of them, he walked to see Zoya, he needed to see her now. However, another eyes witnessed this fight.
His words rang in her head, he was right. This marriage came so suddenly and with a man who bought her company. No one will be fooled, everyone will think the same. Even if she didn't care, she couldn't stop herself to think so low about herself and it's all because of him.
-Zoya, he called her
-Go away, she didn't need to see who it was, she knows his voice better.
-Are you ok?
-Why it's bothering you? I don't need to hear you stupid and fake concern, she sniffed.
-Zoya, he brushed her elbow but she pushed herself away from his grab. Zoya, please, he tried again, but she slapped his hand. Zoya, come, this time, he grabbed her but she kept pushing him away. Asad didn't move and instead he caged her against his, trapping her slapping arms between their bodies. Calm down, calm down.
-Leave me alone, she struggled crying in his arms, Leave me alone
-I can't, Zoya, his breath on her temple, she stopped to fight and lean even more against his, sobbing. He loosened his arms around her and he tapped her back tenderly, her head in the crock of his neck. As much as she wanted to hold him back, she couldn't, instead her fist closed on his collar with all her pain. She felt cozy being here in his arms, his heart and his smell making her forget for a second why she was in pain. Asad could hear her breath relaxing slowly and he closed his eyes letting himself pampered by the slow move of her chest.
-I hate you, I hate you so much, Asad, she muttered and he smiled sadly.
He posed his lips on her temple, he just wanted to feel her this way, he hated to fight with her, he hated all of this between them, he just wanted her back. And he wished he could crash Sufian with his hands right now for making her cry. When he came this morning to talk to her, he heard them argue and he didn't know how he stopped himself from entering and punched him hard.
-Zoya, he kept chanting her name melancholily and his calls took slowly all her anger and sadness.
Why was it so hard to let it go? Why was it so hard for her to trust him and to forgive him? He has his reason for hiding his identity and during this acting, he never hurt her, he was always the one to come back no matter what she did, like now. His lips were now on her cheek, sending warm and cold heat all over her body.
-Asad, she whispered
Encouraged by her call, he went down slowly along her cheek, reaching her jaw that he followed the line leading to be closer to where he wanted to be.
-No, she tensed
-please, he begged her, his lips were now on the corner of hers, asking her for more but she resisted,
-no Asad. Her voice came out painfully, she wanted too but a part of her is still resisting. He waited here teasing her sense and blowing his hot and rapid breath to which she responded with the same speed and need. Both craved to meet at this point but she can't. She pushed him with all the last force that was still resisting making him loosed his balance.
-I said NO, she breathed in and out.
-Zoya, he breathed
-It's all because of you, YOU, YOU, YOU, she poked his chest many times but he didn't move, letting her to do what she wants with him. I just came to you to save this company, I escaped from shark to meet the worst, YOU. I would have never expected to deal with the devil, you lied to me, you played with me, you manipulated me, you forced me, and you are now making look like a who** in front of everyone. Selling my own body to save my company, you make me lose my self-respect, you tannish my father's image and my own reputation, for what? FOR WHAT? TELL ME, ALL OF THIS FOR WHAT?
-Zoya, it will be legal, it's marriage
-FORCED MARRIAGE, FORCED, don't forget it, Asad, you didn't even accept a negotiation, you didn't give me any choice than to marry you.
-Why do you care about other? Let them talk,
-I wish I could but I will be tag as the woman who have sell her body and soon to be divorce.
-You are not selling your body and you know it, and for the divorce we can stay mar...
-DON'T YOU DARE ASAD, DON'T, she pointed at him and her eyes reddened with anger. If I am not selling my body, what about this contract then? What about those terms that you add? Do you want me to remind you? You are using any tricks to come closer to me while I clearly explain that I don't want you closer to me. My condition was only to keep you away from me BUT you are forcing me to pay a price using my own body. What can we call it? Tell me? If anyone read this contract what they will think about me? TELL ME FOR GOD'S SAKE... And for the last time, It's NOT A MARRIAGE, IT'S JUST TO PLEASE YOUR EGO, put this in your mind, Asad. Marriage is between two people who loved each other, marriage is commitment based on trust, faith and respect, marriage is a bound who link two people to make their own family, a bride and groom supposed to be happy, but look at us, bride and groom supposed to fight on the color of the stupid flowers and not to fight over company and ego. Not all marriage is leading to happiness but it's the risk, but this one we both know where it leads us.
-Zoya
-Shut up, just shut up, I wish you could disappear from my life right now, I wish I could turn back the time when it was so easy, I wish I could...Her voice strangled in her throat looking at her father's picture on the table. AND BECAUSE OF YOU, I DIDN'T SAVE HIS COMPANY, BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM FEELING SO DISGUST ABOUT MYSELF, WHAT MY DAD WILL THINK ABOUT ME, I wish he could have been here with me, she wrapped her arms around her, AND BECAUSE OF YOU, I NEVER FELT MYSELF SO ALONE AND ABANDONNED. This is how you make me feel, Asad, like an orphan.
He kept quiet, letting her talk. He looked down and smiled sadly. He exhaled loudly and looked up.
-You are not the only one, you are not the only one to be alone, Zoya.
He left her and walked away. Zoya realized what he said and hide her face ashamed. She sat heavily on the desk, and cried even more. This is all they have now, hurting and being the worst for each other.
-I..I..am sorry, she shook her head realizing what she said and how far she went this time. She hated him from forcing to marry him but she hated herself even more for being so insensitive to his loss.
Few days later
After long days of negotiation of the terms between Zoya, Asad and their respective lawyers. Asad agreed to remove some "kisses" from the contract, and only remained the wedding kiss, a good night kiss on the one cheek, only side hug if it was required, holding hand in function when they entered and when they will leave. Any other kisses will be under restrictions: if Asad initiate the kiss, one week will be removed from the 5-month period time, and if Zoya initiated the kiss, one week will be added to 5 month. Zoya wanted to reduce to one month but Asad stayed adamant and only accept one week. For revenge, Asad added the condition if Zoya initiated the kiss, which making her laugh out loud for 5 minutes at least. She was so sure of herself on this question. Zoya added to increase his restriction toward her: no physical contact in inappropriate way or without agreement are allowed.
They will share at least breakfast and dinner together, no private or romantic dinner, only work dinner are allowed. Both will stay in Asad's house and having their own room. The divorce will be registered only after the period of 5 months, plus or minus week that will be added per kisses restriction condition. The duration may be shortened if both parties agree to an early divorce. The company will be hers after the marriage and her house back after the divorce, and she refused to take anything else then what was hers, she even refused his proposition to have more money after the divorce. She didn't want to be the one who sell herself, it was already embarrassing for her.
Finally the day of signature came, and all of them were sitting with both of them with the pen to start this story.
-I am still not sure about some terms, we need to discuss more
-Zoya, come on it has been days now, can you please finish this now?
-No, you will not tell me what to do, Asad, I am still in free city and I have my own right. Maybe it's nothing for you but for me, it is.
-Please leave us alone, Asad ordered not leaving to them the time to protest, and Zoya didn't stop either. One by one, they left leaving them silence standing in opposite of the room.
Zoya stood up and laid lazily against the French window, her eyes lost watching outside. Asad lean against too but his eyes were only on her all the time, he stayed quiet waiting for her to start to talk. The corner of his lips lifted tiredly, all he wanted now, is to stay like this staring at her face as long as possible.
-Are you aware that you are losing me, Asad? He didn't reply, waiting for him to say something, she looked at him asking for an answer to which he simply smiled.
-What do you want me to do then?
-You had to let me go
-I can't do this, I can't Zoya
-We both drifting apart and you know it
-I know but I can't stop myself, and I can't stop thinking that there is a chance to gain you back.
-It's too late, I can't Asad
-You are just too scared to come closer, I know that you want the same thing as me and I know that I am not making it easy for you, but I need to force you a bit.
-a bit? You are forcing to bend down, Asad, love can't be force into any heart, instead you are killing it this way.
-You can see the effect that I have everything I came closer to you, he stepped toward her and she stepped back instinctively,
-See, you are walking away
-You only see what you want to see, you are convincing yourself that I want it too, but you can't ignore that I am still pushing you away.
-I know, you are pushing me, but with time, I know that...
-Asad, please stop all of this, what we lived in Ireland, stayed there and today we are different.
-We are still the same Zoya and I don't know why you are trying to refrain from your heart.
-Do you think it will erase what happened? Do you think it will change your lies?
-What about yours Zoya? I wasn't the only one to lie
-I...She can't say it. How can you expect from me to trust you again? Love without trust is nothing, it makes it weaker.
-Two broken souls can heal each other; I just had to give you time to accept.
-To accept what? You just want to prove yourself that I love you and then you will leave, you just want your pride back because what I said the last day in Ireland, you just want to win over me, that why you are doing this. How do you expect me to react knowing this? How do you expect me to be with you? To fall in love with you? You blackmailed me and today, I will sign your first victory.
-I just can't stop myself Zoya, you are right maybe I need to prove to myself something, but I also need to show you things that you are trying to ignore.
-You hate losing, don't you?
-I am always the one who write the end, I entered every battle to win.
-But sometimes, you must accept to lose thing to find them back, Asad, you must let me go
-I will have you back without losing you Zoya.
-but one day, you will leave.
-It's up to you, if you want me to leave, I will come back again and again.
-Until what?
-I don't know our future, Zoya.
-I just want you to know that once I will sign this contract, it will be the end.
-no, it's not, it's just the beginning. Just sign and I will prove it.
-Again, your ego, Asad.
-not only, Zoya but one day you will see it.
Zoya took the pen and signed pressing on her name, making it loud. Asad watched her struggling and he felt relieved that she finally signed without fighting. It was the first step for him.
-your turn, Asad, she lifted the pen to him. He walked and took it, but she held it back and he stared at her. You can still stop this Asad. He pulled it from her grip and signed ignoring her warning. She watched him signing back the contract helpless. It was over for her.
-New page in our relation
-I am just wondering if we are already at the end of it. She left him and he watched her perplex for a second, he could feel a pinch of doubt in his heart but he wiped it away. He will work for it, he went too far to have her, it's not the time to doubt.
Wedding day
Asad didn't sleep those last days, hundreds of scenarios came to his mind, with the same ending by being left at the altar. He can't fool himself, this contract mean nothing, it was not enough strong for her to stay till the end. He didn't hear anything from her since they signed the contract, he barely crossed her path. He knew that she was avoiding him, the only thing that makes him relieved was the fact that she went to try her dress, and they kept sending formalities for the wedding. And finally, the day came for both. Everything can happen today and he has no control. Everything made him nervous, even closing those endless button, his fingers were trembling continuously.
-What if she ran away? What if she said no, what if I never found her again? What if...
-Calm down Asad, calm down, he posed his hands on his shoulders forcing him to sit, she is here, I've put men all around the house, she can't escape.
-Why am I sounding like a gangster forcing her to marry me?
-Do you really want my opinion?
-No, I am not proud of myself doing this but I can't help myself, I want her in my life at any cost.
-Don't you think there is another way to win her back?
-Yes, there is a plenty and I chose the worst and the quicker one.
-And what was that: I want to control her, I want to show her lies, I want her to fall in love with me, etc...It's still the case.
-I can't lie to you Ayaan
-Why don't you then stop everything and just tell her what you feel?
-Because I don't know what she is feeling for me.
-This is what scared you; you are not sure about her feelings
-Not at all, sometimes I can see the same Zoya, her touches seem so familiar and loving but in other times, she can be the worst, this cold and heartless woman. The best thing to do was to go back to my previous life but I don't want to go back to this tasteless life, she makes me realize that I need love in my life, and I need her. I don't know if she is the one, I don't know if I will fall even more or I will finish by hating her, I don't know anything. All I want is to have her with me, I just want to open this door that she showed me and decided to close. I want to prove her wrong and to prove myself that I am right. It wasn't fake. That why I am forcing her to marry me maybe she will fall in love with me, for real this time.
-You are madly in love with her.
-Yes, I am, and if to win her heart, I must go through her hate, I will go through, what I saw in her, deserve for me to fight for her.
-Bro, I don't know what to say, I don't know if I should be happy because she took you out from your loneliness or because she had put you in other cage of misery.
-I am addicted to this misery. I need to see her, I need to be sure, she is still here.
-Don't worry, I will go and check by myself, ok, I will send you a text to confirm that she is still here, so from now just calm down, and try to look handsome for your bride. He pinched playfully his chin making him smile for the first time this day.
Ayaan felt a pain, his cousin can be stubborn and he has no control over him. He just prayed that this marriage in front of God will make them realize the sacred commitment they are involved and how they have to take it seriously and make it work.
-Ayaan, can you come to see, we had an issue with the cake, they said it will be late because of traffic. One the server came to him complaining about the delivery.
-What? I call them this morning, they said they will bring it sooner to prevent any delay, those useless people!!!!
Ayaan passed Zoya's door, taking his phone to call the baker. He had to fix this before coming back to her. Even for a small ceremony, there is a lot of thing to take care of.
Bride's room
Zoya was already prepared, wearing a simple and red sari for the wedding. She didn't want anything fancy or show off, after all, it wasn't her dream wedding. The ceremony, according to her demands, has be private and only the fourth of them can be here and their lawyers. She was sitting in front of the mirror, already prepared, inert and waiting to be called. Humeira spent days asking her to stop it but Zoya didn't listen to her, and there she was ready to be his wife.
-Why are you doing this to yourself Zoya? You still have time to turn back, you still have the power to say no and to leave. He can't do anything to you.
-What about my father's company? All this people that count on me, Humeira, I can't be selfish and leave, it's my responsibility to stay, I have no other choice.
-I can understand your burden Zoya, but you can't carry this all alone. You...I don't know how to make you understand that you should not go through this, you should not marry him for this reason, and he is not God. If he fired some people, they will find their way. And you told me, he is not that bad, he has only a problem with you. You just have to realize that you have the power to control him, he just wanting you, so don't give him the only thing that he asked.
-It's complicated Humeira
-Explain to me, I don't want to let you go with this man, God knows what he can do to you, I don't trust him
-But I do, Zoya whispered
-What? How can you trust a man like him? What about his lies, his blackmail? You must have lose you mind!!! I can't let you go out of this room, and letting you the stupidest thing ever. I have spent days trying to convince you to trap him and to file a complaint against him and to stop everything, but I still don't know why are you adamant to continue?
-Listen, Humeira, it's just a matter of few months ok, he will not do anything wrong to me, Humeira started to argue but she was stopped by Zoya, he will NOT, I can guarantee and not only because of this contract. I know him more than anything.
-How can you trust him when all this happen because of his lies, Zoya? How can you still thinking this way? Are you lying to yourself? Or to him?
-I...I know him, just like that I know him.
-Zoya, I am not convinced, please, just let go now, you still have time, my car is behind the building and I know a way to sneak out without being seen.
-I am staying Humeira, she sat in front of the mirror adjusting her veil on her shoulder.
-you have a plenty of reason to leave but you are still staying, how can you stay when you know you have the power over him, why are you doing to yourself?
-Humeira
-No Zoya, please, don't tell me it's only matter of months, it's for my dad, look at yourself, just look at yourself, she grabbed her shoulders forcing her to stare at her sad reflection. Tell me, if it's nothing why are you looking sad? Why are you feeling so miserable? Zoya's eyes started to moist. Please, Zoya, let's go, you are not reason to stay.
-I...Her voice strangled in her throat
-Let's go Zoya, she tried to lift her up but she resisted, come on Zoya,
-I have a reason to stay, she finally spoke making Humeira frowned. Zoya cleared her throat and continue, I have one reason to stay.
-Don't start now with...
-I love him, the truth came out making her eyes closed painfully after her confession.
-You what?
-I love him more than I hate him, I love him more than what he did those last weeks, I love him no matter his lies, his manipulation, his insults, this force marriage, I love him more than I can stand myself. I miserably fell in love with him and I don't know how to go away from this.
-But it's not right to do it this way, you must tell him this and started in other way.
-I can't, it's too late, we hurt each other too much to go back.
-Then why are you staying?
-Because I want to hate him, and Zoya's break down in tears and Humeira couldn't stand and held her tight. I still have this love, that hurt me more than his lies, this stupid love makes me stay for him, that love makes me addicted to him, he makes me feel so loved, so needed, so unique, he makes me feel so miserable but I can't help myself. I need to remove this pain that I have in my heart. I can't stay like this. You are right, I have many reasons to leave but only one keep me here. When I discovered his real identity, when I heard him talking to his cousin that day after I confessed my love, I felt myself so used, so low to open again to a man who don't value me, that I couldn't help but to hurt him even more. A part of me knew that his feeling was sincere; but I couldn't stop myself to feel betray again. So, I lied, I hurt him as deep as he did, and I thought it will be easy to forget him, but it won't. It was even worst with the passing days. When he came back, I thought he would have regretted but he didn't and instead, he did what he did. A part of me wants to leave but there is other part who wants to stay. I wished that day, I exposed the truth it would have been different today, but it didn't happen this way. If that doesn't happen I would have married him in any case, but today, look at this marriage. I left days ago, thinking that this feeling will go away, out of sight, out of mind, but he stayed here. She pointed to her heart. I don't know how to remove him, I have no clue...I am searching for any reason to hate him, that why I need to be with him, I only want to see bad thing about him, the more he was forcing, the more my heart will let him go. But I fear one thing.
-What was it?
-What if my love for him grows and I can't hate him. I fear to let him in and to let him break my heart again, I will not stand anymore, I will not...I can't stand it.
Some footstep could be heard coming closer and both pulled apart from each other.
-Zoya, I don't know what to say, but I still think you should not getting married.
-I don't know what I am doing either, but I can't leave.
A knock on the door came.
-It's time, Ayaan's voice came from the other side.
-Comin', Humeira replied while Zoya was wiping the black stain on her cheeks. If this is what you want, then...Humeira sighed in defeat, let me help you. Both smiled sadly and there repaired the missing make-up after her tears.
Asad was sitting, but his hands and feet betrayed his anxiety. He will not feel relieved until she pronounces the magic words. She can be unpredictable, and it scared him. The door opened and Ayaan came first, but Asad took a step left to be able to see her. When his eyes fell on her, he stopped to breath and he couldn't gulp.
-wow, was the only word that came out softly.
His eyes refused to look away and they kept searching for hers, but she didn't lift her head up once. Zoya refused to look up, she didn't want to have any memory of this day, the day she married the man that she learnt to hate. Despite her pride, her eyes searched for him, and only fell on his hands and feet. They were burning in need to see him, begging her to lift her sight a bit. However, she can feel his eyes on her but she refused to respond to their invitation, she once thought that he called her, but she preferred to stay deaf.
-Can we start? The imam asked and all of them sat.
After what turn to be the longest minutes ever for him, she showed some hesitation saying those words but she didn't and he could release his breath, finally, she became Mrs Asad Ahmed Khan. He couldn't hide his smile, but once he saw a tear rolling on her cheeks, his smile fade away. As much as he was happy to be with her, he hated himself for making her feel this way, but now it done.
Zoya felt so much pain, those words came so painfully from her throat and it didn't feel right. All this marriage didn't feel right, it wasn't beautiful as it should be and it turned to be the worst day of loneliness ever. She missed her father, missed to be support by the one who could have protected her from this drama. And today, she will lose the only man that she had ever love so madly. As much as she hated Asad, she hated herself even more. It was a big lose for her today and her tears found their way out from her eyes, rolling silently on her cheeks. Zoya was lost in her turmoil that she didn't realize when Humeira lifted her up and when she found him standing in front of her.
-Zoya, he called her softly but she didn't look up. She hissed when she felt his warm finger on her cheek, forcing her to give him what he asked. She didn't want to show him her weakness, but today, she can't pretend to be angry, she was in her misery. Zoya stared into his eyes and wasn't taking back when she saw his eyes moist. She thought she will find arrogance or pride but it was nothing. He gave her a timid smile and wipe her tears, his sweet and soft gesture made her lips trembling in sadness. How can he be the reason of her happiness and her pain in the same time? She closed her eyes, waiting for the wedding kiss. It's in the contract. She waited for him and only opened them when she felt him moving away from her. She frowned surprised, he didn't kiss her and just walked away. But why? She tried to read him but he kept himself close to her questions. Maybe he wanted to do it in private, she thought. He will never miss to kiss her, it's Asad after all, what did she expect a miracle?
-Cake for everyone? Ayaan suggested enthusiastically breaking her trance.
The wedding did last long, they all shared the cake and some pictures wedding. Asad shortened the moment, he could see how Zoya was feeling restless and suffocated.
After saying goodbye to everyone, Asad and Zoya took their car, sitting in the back side. Zoya spent all the time, watching outside, her head rest on her arms. She just wanted to close her eyes, wishing to wake up from this nightmare. She kept recalling how she came to this point, how she came to be chain with the only man that she wanted and hated. She didn't know where to cry or to laugh at her irony.
-Stop staring at me
-I am sorry, I...He didn't realize that she was aware of his eyes on her. The moment, they came into the car, he didn't stop looking at her.
-Then stop staring like this
-I just want to know how you feel
-How I feel? She let out a hurt chuckle, she looked at him, I feel SO happy, SO happy to be married to you, it's the best day of my life, it's MY wedding day, how can I NOT be happy Asad? I am so happy to be finally Mrs Asad Ahmed Khan, is this what you want me to say? Is it?
-Zoya,
-Leave me alone, I am not force to talk to you, so please, just-leave-me-alone.
The rest of the ride remained silence and Asad fought with himself from not staring at her. He respected her privacy and kept his eyes in the opposite way.
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
Anupamaa
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