Hey everyone...I had taken part in a competition with reema as my graphic partner...our os won..so here the asya version...
(banner credit:Immortal love)
'I do',Vowed Ayaan,the love of my life.
Everything about today was flawless.A huge tent had been erected in the backyard,providing a canopy for the enormous guest attending the wedding.The once plain and gloomy backyard had been beautified with an abundance of white and pink flowers and knotted ribbons.Fairy lights hung upon the graceful green trees lining the backyard.
Building up mental images of Ayaan and myself,dressed in our respective wedding attires on our very own wedding had been my ultimate fantasy.
Everything was perfect.Except...I was not the bride.
The utterance of those binding words finally sealed Ayaan and Humeriah's love in a more secure bond of marriage.Ayaan held his wife's hand securely to his as they were handed through the crowd,passed from embrace to embrace,everyone expressing words of congratulations to them.Ayaan was attired in a light grey morning suit.Humeriah was clad in a gorgeous designer wedding dress which was a classic,nipped in at the waist for shape and falling in Flour folds at her satin-clad feet.She wasn't wearing a veil,her hair had been piled up and topped with magnificent sapphire and diamond tiara.Matching drop earrings sparkled with every movement she made.
'Zoya?'
I turned to my side when I heard jas gently call my name.Jas,one of my friends had also studied in the same school along with Ayaan and myself.Jas was far too perceptive,having a faint knowledge about my feelings.
'Are you okay?',Jas asked,her voice laced with concern.
'Yeah',I lied as I flashed her my most convincing smile.
She gave my hand a gentle squeeze and then scurried away.Sighing,my eyes riveted back to Ayaan.His entire face was so full of life.His eyes were the most marvelously bright as he gazed at his wife with admiration.I'd been mistaken about his feelings,secretly hoping he mirrored my same feelings.But,I was just his best friend.
Tears were beginning to well in my eyes and my heart gave a not-so-gentle squeeze of its own.Just then,Ayaan briefly tore his eyes away from Humeriah,his gaze swiveling around.As soon as our eyes locked across the backyard,a flicker of smile passed across his face and he fluttered forward,shouldering his way through the guests.
My insides were a flutter,but what mattered the most was my outer persona.Scooping in a quick breath I tried to pull myself together.
'Zoya,Can you believe it?I am already married!',Ayaan gushed,embracing me warmly.
Hugging him briefly for a second I pulled back and nodded my head profusely,not trusting my voice.
He cocked his head slightly to one side as he studied my face.'You're crying?',he asked in a surprised tone.
I shook my head from side to side,gulping down my tears and managed to summon up a smile though my insides were hurting.
'I am just so happy for you',I murmured,my voice thick with emotion.It wasn't a lie.I was truly happy for him.
'Just weeks ago I had met Humeriah at a coffee shop.You know,I was never the one to believe in love at first sight.But,I guess Humeriah is everything I have wished for',he spoke in a soft adorning tone.
'Humeriah is truly great',I agreed.She was a fun-loving girl,extremely sweet and adorable.
'Ayaan!'
We distinctively heard his mother's call.He smiled apologetically.I gave him a playful punch on his arm and added,'Go bridegroom,you're needed'.
He took a step forward,placing a quick peck on my cheeks and then whirled around and strode towards his family.
'It's time',I murmured to myself.I need to let him go.A spurt of tears blurred my vision as I looked at Ayaan for one last time.His brown eyes.The bend in his nose,the mole on his right cheek and the faint scar on his chin.All the tiny imperfections that made him beautiful.
I took a step back,instantly feeling a dull dragging sense of loss.I swallowed,trying to dislodge the sudden lump in my throat.I could feel some gnawing feeling surfacing,something I knew I was not ready to face yet.Without wasting another second,I turned around and made my way towards the gate.
As soon as I had stepped inside my apartment,I slammed the door shut.I crushed down feeling the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees,and then the palms of my hand,and then it was pressed against the skin on my cheeks.Finally,the harsh,gnawing pain I had fought at Ayaan's wedding crushed me in a deliberating wave,jarring my senses,leaving me weak and isolated.
My breaths caught over and over until I was wheezing and hiccuping at once,and I couldn't do anything but gulp while tears flowed unchecked,and broken words poured from me.'Why me?'
Why wasn't my life a fairy tale?Why wasn't I entitled to happy endings?I hadn't done any wrong nor had I wished any pain to be inflicted on others.Then,why am I being punished?
I don't know how long I lay lifeless.My eyes were sore from all the crying,my head ached and my whole body felt stiff.I tried to scramble to my feet,failing a few times.Whimpering,I finally managed to stagger to my room.I quietly climbed into my bed and lay back against the pillow.
A month rolled by.
The faint light woke me up.Dull gray light,the familiar light of an overcast morning filtered through the glass window,spreading a faint light through my entire room.
I forced myself up to a sitting position.I pulled my knees up,wrapped my arms around them and then put my chin on my knees.
For one whole month,I cried.Cried till I couldn't breathe,cried till I could fall asleep,cried at the hopelessness of my situation,cried knowing it was over,cried till the realization hit me that we were never meant to be.Now I've gone for too long,living like I'm not alive.I had been wallowing in sadness and self pity,the pain pushing me into a deep darkness of seemingly bottomless chasm.
But,last night sudden realization dawned upon me.Realization of finding a balance between darkness and light.And,that realization was like a rope of light led down into the dark pit.
I knew there is no remedy to my pain than to begin from the point of absolute darkness.Drawing in a deep breath,I crawled out of the bed.
I scrambled into a jeans and T-shirt and then raked a comb through my hair,pulling it in a tight ponytail.Not caring to glance at my reflection in the mirror and ignoring the mess my apartment was in,I strode towards the kitchen and gulped down a glass of orange juice and then headed towards the door.
I hadn't stepped out for one whole month.A ripple of unease spread through me as I pushed open the front door.Hesitation rose within me as I stood outside the door debating internally whether to embrace something unknown and new or return back to the familiar darkness I had learned to depend upon.Deciding against it,I locked my front door,pushing my key in my pant pocket and trudged down the stairs.A sane and small part of me knew it wasn't healthy to slump in dejection.
It felt weird as I dawdled through the sidewalk.A cool wind began to blow making a low,mumbled crackling sound causing the movement of dried leaves along the pavement.My eyes strayed to a small girl whose hands flew up to her skirt which swayed and rustled due to the impact of the wind.An old man walking ahead of me was struggling to keep his hat intact .
Autumn was the my favorite season of the year but right now it just felt unusual and unsettling.I strolled aimlessly wondering why God had not granted the only love I had longed for.What was destiny's plan for me?
It seemed like I had walked for quiet sometime now.My feet slowed down as I noticed the much too familiar surroundings.The same trees lining the sidewalk,the familiar red walls and the strong sense of familiarity in the air around me.
My feet halted as I now stood before the magnificent black gate of my school building.The lane was deserted,nor was there a student visible.I realized it was Sunday.As I stared back at the huge building in front of me I felt an unknown mesmeric pull towards it.My feet moved forward without a conscious thought.
The guard at the gate arose from his chair as his face lit instantly,a hint of recognition flickered through his eyes.He pressed a button.Very slowly,with a loud creaking of rusty hinges,the great iron gates of the school began to swing open.
I slid inside and was instantly greeted with the guard's warm smile.He had grown more old over the years.His skin was soft and withered,bent into a thousand tiny creases resembling a dried apricot.His white hair were growing thin but,he still managed to retain the youthful brightness in his eyes,
'Zoya!',he acknowledged my presence,giving me a beaming smile.
My eyes opened wide with shock.'You remember?'
'I am not likely to forget the naughtiest girl who's main aim was to spread happiness everywhere she goes'.
I sighed for the days gone by.
'How are you?',he queried.
'I am fine',I mumbled with a forced smile.
He gazed at me intently for a few moments and then he lifted his hand running it affectionately through my hair.'When things seem at their worst,their are about to start improving',he said with a feeling.
'I ll just have a look around',I mumbled softly with a forced smile.
He smiled and nodded his head.
My legs moved slower and slower as my eyes took in the whole place.The ornamental fountain still stood in the middle of grassland from which a few jets of water pumped into the air.Everything was pretty much the same be it the long corridors,wooden chairs,playground and the large field connected to it.Here I am back to school,the place I cherished the most.
My heart felt like it was going to swell up and burst through my chest as I strode towards the field,the place Ayaan and I use to hangout the most.
My whole body went numb,I couldn't feel anything below my neck as a host of memories rushed through my mind.
'Ayaan, what are you doing!',I asked with irritation as he busied himself with an autumn leaf,scribbling something on it.
'I am just writing a few lines.You do know it's like a tradition in our school to write a few lines on the fallen leaves'
I rolled my eyes at him.'I think everyone needs to grow up'
'I think it's a nice concept.',he argued mildly.
Sighing in defeat I held out my hand and asked him to show what he had written.Reluctantly,he handed the leaf to me whilst reciting the words loudly.
'If I am alone,she'd be my shadow
If I am weepy,she'd be a shoulder.
If I wanted a hug,she'd be a teddy,
Anything I wanted her to do,without a doubt she'd be ready.
Her jokes make me laugh till my face turns blue
What I'd done without Zoya,I have no clue
But,just to be together forever,I'd like to stick our bodies with magic glue'
A smile tugged at my lips.I turned towards him and ruffled his hair.'That's cute but promise me you'd never think of becoming a poet or a writer'.
'It wasn't that bad',he grumbled,his lower lip protruding in a sulky pout.
I nodded my head in agreement.'You're right it was not bad.It was very very very bad!',I teased and started guffawing at him.
'Your dead',he said in a warning tone as he lunged towards me.
My eyes popped up wide with alarm and I wasted no time in turning on my heels and running for my life,our laughter echoing through the field as he chased me.
Another stray memory flashed across my mind . Halloween was celebrated at school.I stood in the middle of the field attired in a black cloak and pointed hat,carrying a broomstick depicting the character of a witch.
Suddenly, out of nowhere,'Boo!'cried a ghost face mask which is based on the scream painting by Edward Munch.
I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that it was Ayaan disguised behind the mask.
Sticking out my tongue at Ayaan I started giggling.'I am not that easy to scare,Ayaan'.
'Hey,how did you know it's me?',he complained in a grumpy tone.
I gave a dismissive shrug whilst I dropped my eye in a wink.'Call it the evil magic powers of a witch'.
Instead of taking part in the various Halloween activities we engaged ourselves in taking pictures of each other.
'Let me remove this mask for a few seconds',muttered Sam as he proceeded to remove his mask.
Chewing on my lower lip briefly for a second I then let out high pitched,piercing scream.
'What's wrong?',he queried in an anxious voice.
'Gosh!You gave me a scare,Ayaan.Your face is much scarier than that mask'.
'Ha,ha ha.Very funny!',he retorted.
I got a fit of giggles.'You should have seen your face.'
He rolled his eyes.'That joke was in a very bad taste'.
Another memory surfaced at the true front of my mind.Though,thanksgiving was an annual national holiday we'd always manage to sneak inside our school and celebrate this auspicious day with our group of friends in our own way.
Ayaan,jas and myself along with our other group of friends sat around in a circle.Instead of the traditional turkey we'd manage to get a full tub of chicken wings and a few sandwiches .Clasping each other's palms we closed our eyes praying for the well being of our friends and asking a special wish .
'Dear God,please let all of Ayaan's wishes come true',I prayed silently.
A few moments later,very slowly my eyes flew open.Looking around,I sighed as I noticed my friends had already binged on food.
Ayaan was chewing a mouthful of sandwich.Not able to suppress my curiosity I bent forward and whispered into his ears.'What did you ask for?'
He chuckled.'I asked for us to always remain best friends''
There was a big whoosh of the air snapping me back to reality.
I blinked my eyes twice,my knees were knocking and breath was escaping my lips in puffs.Why had I always tried to find hiding meanings behind his words?The memories which I had cherished the most now did nothing but leave behind pain and sadness.Spotting a wooden chair I staggered forward and quietly slumped down onto the chair.
I watched autumn leaves fluttering to the ground,reminding me of nature's cycle which mirrored my own life.Autumn is a time for letting go and releasing things that have been a burden.
Ayaan is a closed door.It took a lot of hurt,tears,pain,distress and agony to get to the other side and accept that Ayaan and my feelings for him is a book which should be already closed, ended, and tossed into a drawer.And,I knew moving on should first start with a goodbye.
Drifting my eyes closed and inhaling deeply I let it go.I felt right as I freed myself of that heavy weight that had been crushing me since long.
I finally felt free.
A wind began to blow and an autumn leaf blew into my face.My hands flew up as I pulled the leaf off my face.Just when I was about to throw the leaf away,my eyes fell on words written on the leaf.
'Don't loose hope when your plan's go astray or your wishes remain unfulfilled.Always remember,The All Mighty has planned much better things for you'
A shiver ran down my spine.
As I stared at those words I had an intuitive conviction that there was a sense of righteousness in those words.
'Zoya?'
My head flew up and my eyes locked with a pair of black eyes.An attractive looking man clad in a blue faded jeans and white T shirt with strong rough hewn features stared back at me in rampant surprise.
'Do I know you?',I queried ,confused.
He let out a chuckle and sank down on the bench besides me.'Do you remember the fat kid who always tried to impress you by cracking the silliest of jokes?'
My brows pinched together as my mind reeled,trying to recall anyone that suit his description.As I gazed his face,sudden recognition dawned upon my face.
'Asad!',I exploded in surprise.
'Yes'
He had changed drastically,his face had lost his roundness,making his cheeks and face look prominent and attractive.
'What are you doing here at school?'
'I was just passing by and I felt a strong urge to come here.I am glad I followed my instincts',he answered in a soft tone.
I just gazed at him blankly.
'I though I'd never meet you',He mumbled and then sighed.'How's Ayaan,jas and everyone else?'
'Ayaan got married..'
'Oh,so you both got married?',he concluded in a shocked and sad tone.
My throat tightened.Apparently,he was mistaken.'No.He got married to Humeriah,the girl he met at a coffee shop and fell in love with.'
'Oh,so I've still got a chance to impress and win the heart of the only girl I have ever loved',he teased making me roll my eyes at him.It was in his nature,he flirted endlessly with me and had a happy knack of making people like him.
'When are you ever going to be serious',I chided mildly.
'I am serious'.he said,staring at me with a strange intensity.I gasped,tearing my eyes away from his smoldering gaze.
'Asad?'I managed to whisper.
He let out a chuckle.'I could also try a hand at acting.Being the owner of a construction firm is boring as hell'
Smacking his head I sighed in relief.
'Someone lost a lot of weight?',I teased.
He grinned wolfishly.'I hit the gym,lost a couple of pounds.Figured,girls don't really like chubby men'.
'Hey,you were cute back then'
He shook his head in wonderment.'Only you use to find me cute and hilarious'.
I heaved a sigh.
'Hey,Zoya?Do you know the difference between a calendar and me?',He asked in an animated tone.
My brows pinched together as I chewed on my lips reflectively,thinking of a possible answer,my mind coming up with nothing.
'The calendar has dates !',he answered animatedly.
I giggled quietly.The sound took me by surprise.It sounded strange.Then I started laughing,actually laughing.
He smiled looking at me and for the first time I felt happy.
'So,now that we have met after years I'd like to stay in touch.That much,that you'd get fed up of me',he warned playfully.
'I think I'll manage as long as you make me laugh'.
He chuckled and rose,tall and lithe.
'Want to grab a cup of coffee?',He asked as he held out his hand in front of me.
I could feel something.A change,maybe.A positive change.
I placed my hand in his,scrambling to my feet.'A coffee would be great'
As I walked through the school I realized It was a new beginning.A beginning of a new book.And,the first chapter has just begun...
Anupamaa
Sports
129