~The Sunshine of My Life#2 AsYa FF~||Link to third thread PG 125 - Page 48

Zoya gasped her hands covering her mouth wide in shock on seeing Dilshad slap Asad. She had only ever seen Dilshad being affectionate to each one of them. She had never seen her lose her temper like this ever before.

She looked over at Asad next who stood rooted, with his eyes downcast, not making a move, not uttering a single word.

"I am so disappointed in you Asad, so disappointed. Maine kabhi nahi socha tha that one day I'll be forced to raise my hand at you." Dilshad uttered angrily.

"I am ashamed that you've let down my upbringing in such a way, that you let your resentment come into the way of basic humanity?" Dilshad bellowed.

"Kyun kiya aise Asad? I want an answer.." Dilshad urged him, her voice tight and emotionless.

Asad just kept looking away; not raising his head to look into her eyes, seemingly ashamed as if he was guilty of whatever she accused him of.

"Tum kya jawab doge? I don't think you have a valid explanation Mr Asad Ahmed Khan. What was so important that you couldn't reach the hospital when your father was breathing his last?" Dilshad finally gathered the courage to spell it out.

Zoya's eyes widened as she stared at Dilshad, shocked by her words. So this was why Asad had her rushing to the hospital? This was why he had appeared so traumatized. She breathed in hard, tiny tears pricking her eyes.

"Tumne apna faisla le liya, par ab mera suno. If you didn't think it was important to keep your anger aside even at such a time then I don't think you deserve to be at your father's funeral. I am leaving for his house but I don't want to see you there. I don't think you deserve it." Dilshad said with a finality that made Asad look up at her. His eyes ablaze with an unexplainable stoic expression

"Ammi?" Asad sat his voice shaking.

Dilshad raised her hand to stop him and started to walk away.

Panic set in as Zoya realised the enormity of the situation. She stood in the way, stopping Dilshad," Phuppi is me inki koi galti nahi hai, aisa mat kariya.."

"Zoya don't take his side, do you even know what he has done? He got a call from Ayaan telling him Rashid was breathing his last and wanted to see him one final time. But Mr Khan here didn't have the time to take out of his busy schedule to make it to the hospital."Dilshad said ruefully.

"Phuppi that's because Mr Khan was with me, I was in some sort of trouble and he came to fetch me, he just couldn't make it on time. If there's anyone who needs to be sorry it's me." Zoya said defensively.

Dilshad sobered a little hearing the explanation but shook her head again," It's not just about today Zoya. Asad bahut dino se jaanta tha ki Rashid ki tabiyat nasaaz hai. Par na ye khud unhe milne gaya, na mujhe bataya. Mujhe pata chala toh tab jab woh nahi rahe." Dilshad said tears streaming down her face.

"How could you hide this from me Asad? How could you? Who gave you this right?" Dilshad admonished Asad, holding him by his shoulder, shaking it in fury.

Zoya saw Dilshad crumbling through her every tear and Asad breakdown even though he stood numb and motionless.

Dilshad turned away from Asad but stopped to utter what would probably haunt him all life, "You always feared becoming your father Asad, how differently have you behaved by doing what you did.?" She said grimly before walking away.

Zoya didn't know what to do or say, she just stood there and stared at Asad, whose back was facing her as he stood where had been from when he first walked in.

"Mr Khan.." she managed to utter. She raised her hands uncertainly and rested it on his shoulder, waiting for him to shake it off. But no reaction came, as Asad stood silently his eyes drilling holes in the wall he was staring at.

Zoya gathered a little courage and stood in his line of sight, trying to get his attention. His wringed eyes, pale face and vulnerable self made her want to cry. A painful lump formed in her throat, which she swallowed with great effort. She knew this was no time to get weak.

Asad moved back and silently walked out of the room leaving a dazzled Zoya behind. His silence scared her, knowing well that he was bottling it all within himself. She was only scared about what would happen when it all would find its release.

******************

"Ammi jo aapne Bhaijaan se kaha woh..." Najma spoke up as Dilshad and she got down their car.

"Najma this is not the time. Agar kuch karna hai toh dua karo, apne Abu ke liye." Dilshad said hardly managing to string a few words together as grief took over her.

"Aap Bhaijaan ke saath theek nahi kar rahi Ammi." Najma said rightfully making Dilshad stare at her once and look away instantly as they walked up to Rashid's house.

She and her family had never stepped into his house ever since he had left them and gone away. But today his death had given her the courage to walk into the same house that had snatched everything that was hers, away from her.

She stood at the entrance with Najma and a sob shook her as she saw Rashid's lifeless form in the hallway. Najma held her as she stood strongly, not a single tear in her eyes.

Ayaan who had been comforting his mother Shireen all that while looked up to see Dilshad and Najma at the door. He left her side and walked up to the both of them.

"As-salamu alaykum Badi Ammi.." Ayaan said his voice hoarse from crying. Dilshad caressed his head out of love and comfort.

Ayaan looked around,his eyes searching for the one person he needed the most..

"Bhaijaan kaha hai Badi Ammi?" Ayaan implored

"Woh nahi aayega." Dilshad announced firmly shocking Ayaan.

Then man who had been with him from his first step on his feet to every fall wouldn't be with him when he needed him the most? Not even on his father's funeral?

*****************

Asad walked into his room robotically, lost to his surroundings, astray even to his own thoughts. His feet led him to the closet. He opened a drawer, the one he had shut and locked away 17 years ago, just like a part of his heart. He removed a wooden box from it and carried it to his bed. Slumping down on the floor he opened the case to all his childhood memories, all those memories that had Rashid Ahmed Khan written all over it.

His pictures with him, each gift that his father had given him on his every birthday, on his every achievement. He caressed a plastic lion's mask that Rashid had given him when he would complain of nightmares. He remembered how his father had told him that he was a lion, as brave as one. He had told him to wear the mask whenever he was scared, so that all his fears would never gather enough guts to frighten him ever again. It was ironical how Asad had adorned a mask on himself ever since. He was ferocious for the world, but only he knew how fragile he really was, how easy it was for him to break down, like he was right now. His heart was probably bleeding, but there wasn't a trace of tears on him.

He wanted to scream and release all that pent up frustration. How could this man do all of this to him? How could he make him feel so angry at him for walking away and abandoning his family and yet make him want to cry his heart out today for leaving him once again, but this time forever?

All these years he had lived with anger bubbling within him because his father hadn't been man enough, because he had hurt his family, his mother, left them weak and hopeless to lead a better life himself. But today all that anger and resentment had vanished leaving him feel empty, a void he couldn't explain, a void that made him feel hollow.

His mothers parting words echoed and just like that all his feelings, all the guilt, the love for his father, rose up like a volcano within him and erupted. He pushed away the box in his hand in anger flinging it against the wall. In minutes his entire room was in a mess as he threw away and broke everything that came in his hands.

He only stopped when he heard a soft cry that eventually multiplied into loud wails. He turned towards the door to see Aahana on her knees staring at him with a stricken expression. All the noise bought Zoya running down to his door and she stood alarmed seeing the condition of his room. But they were both shaken out of their thoughts when they heard Aahana cry louder. Asad marched ahead to take Aahana in his arms. But he saw her crawl behind and curl her arms around Zoya's legs.

Zoya immediately picked Aahana who nestled closer to her and hid herself in her neck, scared out of her wits.

"I think she needs to get away for a bit Mr Khan.." Zoya whispered uncertainly, knowing it might hurt him to see Aahana being taken away from him. But she couldn't let Aahana witness her father in this state, especially since he hadn't seemed conscious about his bleeding hand that she couldn't move her eyes away from.

Asad's knees gave away as he slumped down on the floor, not just broken anymore, but angry, angry at himself for having let down all the people he had ever loved more than his life, first his Ammi and now Aahana.

********************

"Sshh baby, you're a brave heart, stop crying." Zoya whispered to Aahana who hadn't stopped sobbing.

Zoya had taken Aahana to her room and tried calming her down. But it seemed she was affected more than she had expected. It wasn't just the chaos and noise that had her shaken; it was the fact that her father was responsible for all of it that had left her terrified. She almost felt her tremble in her hold.

Zoya wrapped her arms around her more firmly and rubbed one hand down her back trying to sooth her. She kissed her all over her face affectionately, mumbling comfortingly to her.

As Aahana's cries subsided a little, Zoya parted slightly to look at her face. Wiping her face clean she managed to make her drink some water that calmed her a little further.

"Abbu loves you baby, he can harm no one, not you in this or any other lifetime and he would rather harm himself." Zoya spoke to her knowing she wouldn't understand but hoping that her reassuring tone would compose her.

"He's just upset, and he needs you more than ever," Zoya said thoughtfully more to herself than Aahana.

She glanced at a now more visibly calm Aahana and picked up the bowl from the table. Filling the spoon with some warm porridge she offered it to Aahana who as expected turned her face away from it. Zoya tried another few times, but her attempts only got Aahana sulking and on the verge of tears once again, making her panic.

She flipped open her iPad and switched on the camera. Flipped the camera on its reverse mode and placed it right in front of herself and Aahana, who was now sitting on her lap leaning her back on Zoya's stomach.

Aahana stared at herself and Zoya in the camera, her big eyes widening in wonderment. Zoya leaned in resting her head with Aahana's temple and clicked a snap. The flash lit up making Aahana giggle as she stared at a frozen glimpse of hers and Zoya on the screen. Now understanding the concept of a picture she readily posed mimicking Zoya as and how she did. So when Zoya took the spoon of food to her mouth and took a snap with it, next Aahana wanted to do the same too. She made Zoya take her picture as she put the spoon full of food in her mouth. Tricking Aahana in the same way she got her to eat most of the food. By the end of which she had a million pictures of Aahana piled in her iPad, which she knew she wouldn't dare delete till she existed.

A while later as they sat quietly Zoya looked down to see Aahana's exhausted eyes drooping. She took her back in her arms and lay down on the bed, making her rest on her chest.

She patted her to sleep, humming a lullaby. She sighed in relief when she heard Aahana's breathing go soft and slow in the matter of a few seconds. She put her down on the bed and surrounded her with some pillows.

Her attention was diverted as she thought about Asad. She was scared about how he would be, and how she was ever going to manage him. Why was this happening? Why was her beautiful loving family suffering so much? Wait! Did she say her family?

Yes it was hers; at least that was what her heart told her it was.

Making sure that Aahana was sleeping soundly she gently got up from the bed. But she felt Aahana's fingers coiled around her tighten, a soft incoherent mumble coming from her in her sleep.

Zoya caressed her head softly putting her back to sleep and made an effort to undo Aahana's hold from her around her finger lest she wake up. But she mumbled again and this time clearly, "Mi!"

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