In a spacious cafe like place, two ladies are very busy discussing something. They are so engrossed in their discussion that they don't realize that a person stepped out of the bookshelves behind them with a book in his hand. This place also has a mini library.
Man-with-book: Did you say a new hire?
Lady#1: Yes, a new hire, an intern actually. We are trying to convince PH to let us hire a new intern.
Man-with-book: Why do you need an intern? You both write dialogues for just one character ' Zoya.
Lady#2: Easy for you to say, because you write dialogues for Asad. You can manage half of the episodes just by writing "Woh main'", "Woh actually'.", "Miss. FAROOQUI''.."".
Lady#1 adds: And, now "ZOYA.."
Lady#2: Yes, one more word added to his dictionary, "ZOYA". But, we write dialogues for Zoya. The girl speaks mile a minute. Plus, we have to come up with her shayaris. And, now she is interacting more with Asad, so we will have to work all weekends, because she will be speaking 99% of the time. I love Zoya. Her dialogues are too much fun to write, but we seriously need someone who will share some workload."
(Now, onwards we will know these ladies as Zoya-writer#1 & Zoya-writer#2 and the man with the book as Asad-writer)
Asad-writer just shrugged and went back to his book.
Zoya-writer#1 whispers to Zoya-writer#2: He is so much like Asad. No wonder, he writes intense dialogues, whenever Asad needs to speak. He gets Asad quite well.
In the mean time, another person had joined the conversation. "You are complaining about one character, while I write dialogues for Nikhat, Nuzat, Humeira, Rashid, Najma, Dilshaad, Gafoor, Badi bi and even Ayaan."
Asad-writer(still reading the book): That means, you don't write much.
The person ignored him and continued. "And, do you know the freelancer who writes dialogues for Shireen, she is paid a lot for the few dialogues she writes. Here, I am writing for so many characters. I should ask for a pay rise." (Now, we will know him as Jack-of-all writer)
Asad-writer spoke without raising his eyes from his book: The lady who writes for Shireen deserves her pay. It is difficult to come up with dumb dialogues for a bird-brained character and still not go OTT and also maintain the innocence of the character. She manages to get a fine balance.
Zoya-writer#1(laughing): I agree with you. How come she comes up with dialogues like, "Wo telwali Dilshaad. Ek Dilshaad to doosri gali main rehti hain."
Zoya-writer#2 (laughing): And, cherry on the cake, "Bhabhi, aap bahot bholi ho".
Three more persons have joined them with coffee mugs in hand. They are story/screenplay writers of the show.
Another person walks in the lounge.
Jack-of-all writer: Look, who is here? Mr. Takiya-kalam specialist.
Takiya-kalam writer: Hello, everybody. I just finished reading character sketch of Mr.Dhurandhar Bhatavadekar, and wrote a takiya kalam for him ' Kaayda + Kanun. How is that?
Jack-of-all writer: It is ok. But, lacks punch.
Takiya-kalam writer: Let it sink. I have delivered in past, and my work will speak this time, too. Can you imagine Zoya without 'Allah miyan, what's wrong with me?", or Razia without "Main bolungi to bolenge ke bolti hain" or Shireen without 'Oho'? People still remember 'Hello-Hi, Bye-Bye" from my last show. See, my work gives even side characters an identity. Anyways, people I just dropped in to say 'Hi', I will take your leave.
Collective byes. He leaves. And, one more person enters.
Zoya-writer#2: Hey, hello, why are you here, again? This is writers' lounge.
Newcomer: I know. But, you guys got the best coffee in the entire studio. I can't help but come here. [Fills his coffee mug and joins them]
Newcomer to story writers: Guys, when are you packing up this Billo rani?
[Everyone looks at the story writers]
Story-Writer#1: Why? You too don't like her, like fans.
Newcomer: Well, my like/dislike doesn't matter. But, while working on the background music, I have to listen to 'Meow'.Meow'' again and again. Audience is lucky; they listen to it once in an episode or skip those scenes. But, I have to listen to it again and again while working on an episode. It is driving me crazy. Just pack up that character. I bet TRPs will go up. And, I like mitwa music. Add more scenes where I can use it.
[Now, we know that the newcomer give background music for the show]
Newcomer: One more thing, yesterday I heard something about Dalmatian? Don't tell me you are getting a dog in the show. If I have to listen to 'bow-wow' in addition to 'meow-meow', I will certainly go crazy.
Writer#2: Don't worry. That is not happening. (Turning to Asad-writer) By the way, it was a good dialogue. How do you come up with such dialogues?
Asad-writer (Looks up from his book, with a hint of smile): Actually, I have to thank my nephews for it.
Zoya-writer#2: Your nephews?
Asad-writer: Yes. Last weekend, I was babysitting my twin nephews, and they were watching some movie from their collection. Suddenly, they started arguing with each other and I had to intervene. One was saying that dogs are black and other was saying they are white. Now, they are 5 years old and come up with very weird arguments, but they sure know difference between black and white. Then, I had to go and see what they were watching and it was a movie called '101 Dalmatians'. I kept telling them that they were Dalmatians. But, they still kept arguing about black and white. And, I had to sit with them for whole movie to keep them apart. So, thank my nephews. They gave me the idea.
Zoya-writer#1 (giggling): You babysit?
Zoya-writer#2 (again, giggling): You watched 101 Dalmatians for the first time!
Story-writer#3 to Asad-writer: Do one thing. Next time, when you babysit your nephews, jot down your experiences. They may come handy in future for Asad.
Background sound guy: Then you guys have to thank me for the blueberry cheesecake scene. If I hadn't got blueberry cheese cake for everyone that day, how would have that scene happened?
Story-writer#2: Yes, credit goes to you. Audience loved that scene.
Background sound guy: Actually, I was thinking Tiramisu that day.
Story-writer#2: If you had got Tiramisu, that wouldn't have worked. Blueberry cheese cake suits Zoya. Tiramisu is more of Asad's taste.
Zoya-writer#1: That guy won't like any sweets. Uske liye kali-kadvi coffee hi theek hain.
Background sound guy: Yh, that's true. Ok guys, I am leaving now. I have to prepare for next week's sagai track. Lots of gana-bajana. BTW, I bumped into costume designer while coming here. She wants to know if you guys have decided whether Zoya has burn marks on her hand or not. She wants to buy new wardrobe for Zoya. She wants to buy 3/4 sleeve tops, as it is getting very hot during shooting with summer setting in. Poor Surbhi! If you guys have decided, let her know.
Story-Writer#1: Zoya will have to do with full-sleeve tops. We haven't figured out Zoya's involvement in factory fire.
Urgent knock on the door. A spot boy walks in. "Everyone is required in the meeting room. Channel just announced a maha episode. "
Everyone leaves the room in hurry.
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Of course, all of this is my imagination 😆. I have absolutely no idea how dialogue/story/screenplay writers work. I don't know much about other production departments either. But, I have enjoyed QH dialogues a lot. They have got all flavors - they are witty, funny, sad, intense, heartfelt. Same goes for story and screenplay. I have heard that in TV industry, writers aren't paid much. I seriously hope that QH writers get what they deserve.
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