chapter 4
i opened my eyes too see that im still in the living room, i slowly looked back to see abhay is behind me, it wasnt a dream.. i actually slept next to him.. i sighed and looked forward, i started to remember the reason why we never sleep next to each other, its been 5 years.. when he slapped me.. it was so hard that i started bleeding from my mouth.. he never raised his hand on me before but that day, i know i pissed him off.. and i probably deserve it, but after coming back from the hospital, i just took my things and left to sleep in the other room.. for 2 months, i didnt talk to him nor even made an eye contact, i wiped a tear as i remembered then looked down to see his arms holding me tight, i smiled cause i noticed my hand is crushed between them
did she just sniff? "piya.." i opened my eyes to see her long hair
my heart started beating fast as i heard him say my name, i looked back at him, wait.. when did he take off his shirt? "yeah?"
i looked at her for a while.. can i freeze this? "are you afraid of falling?" she looked at him confused "you're about to break my hand"
i giggled and took my hand away from his arms
i didnt want her to do that, but my hand was hurting me, the moment she took her hand away, she somehow lost balance and i had to hold her tighter and push her towards me "you ok?"
i giggled "haan.." he was holding me so close, i looked at the clock "ah.. im already late for school"
she doesnt know? "piya.. its the weekend.."
WHAT? "really?! i forgot again"
i smiled "how about.." i said as i turned her to face me "we go out today?"
i looked at him, i know he's trying to make it up to me "dont you have work?"
not the kind of answer i wanted "i'll take the day off.."
i looked down, somehow.. i dont want to go out with him "i dont feel like going out"
i sighed, what should i think now? "why?"
why.. "i dont know.." i slowly let go of his arms and sat on the sofa "i guess.. i want to stay in today"
i looked at her, is she scared of something? "ok" i waited for her to get up so that i can move
i looked at him, he was looking away, god.. what did just happen "ill go and fresh up.." i smiled and got up
what is going on? i thought i made a connection with her last night.. i sighed and put my hands on my face, is it.. jeh? maybe shes starting to like him, i dont want to get angry.. she said she's not having an affair with him but.. "piya" i yelled as i got up and walked towards her room
i looked back to see him coming inside my room "ye?"
"why dont you want to go out?"
"i told you i dont feel like it" i took my towel
"yeah, why dont you feel like it?"
i looked at him "abhay, i told you last night, im not having an affair"
"but you are enjoying your time with him"
"haan toh?"
"TOH?!" i shouted then sighed "i dont even want to ask you this but i have to.. what's happening to us piya?"
i looked down as tears were forming in my eyes "did you just realize that you have to ask that question?"
i looked at her shocked "what?"
"you shouldve asked me that long time ago abhay.." i sniffed "i feel like chocking living with you.. i dont know who i am anymore really.. and yesterday, with jeh i found that old piya.. was hiding somewhere within me.."
my heart was pounding, i cant take this answer.. what is she trying to say?
"when you asked me to marry you i didnt want to say yes" i looked at him, he's having tears "i wanted to say i dont know.. because.. i really still dont know why i married you"
"you love me"
"love isnt everything" i smiled sadly at him "now i realised it"
i felt like chocking.. air wasnt filling my lungs anymore
"and i didnt ask for divorce bec.."
"divorce?!" she's been thinking about divorce...
"haan divorce abhay" i am crying hard now "i didnt ask for it because i know my heart wont let me.. i am miserable either way.." i slowly sat down on the bed
i looked at her.. she was crying hard but i cant do anything.. i just froze in my place.. for the past 5 years, all what i was thinking about was how to fix this marrige.. but she was thinking about divorce.. "i love you piya" i said softly as i sat in front of her on my knees "i cant lose you.. i dont want to think that i hurt you.."
"you did" i said crying
"i dont want to think that you dont love me anymore or that you want us to separete.. id be lost without you" i folded my hands in front of her "i dont want you to think about getting a divorce.." im in tears
"abhay" i held his hands and kissed them "you know you are a good man"
"who wants to be with you"
"you can be with anyone else.."
"no" i shook my head "i just want to be with you piya.. give me a chance please.."
"a chance for what?"
"to fix us" she was shaking her head "we can still try and we will be able to get back to ourselves.."
"its too late.."
"its never too late.." i held her hand tight "its never too late piya.." i paused "i'll quit my job"
i looked at him shocked, he loves his job
"i will be here whenever you need me.. and i will be the person you want me to be just.. dont leave me"
god, i cant say no.. but i cant.. i still feel its too late.. i dont want to say ok but.. ah here.. i do it again "ok.."
i smiled as i heard her say that "ok" i hugged her tightly
i just put my arms around him, i realized that i dont need him in my life but i just give him a nod for another miserable years..
okie😊
