The 'Manasthiti' of Krishna Thakur Singh
The most vital question in the mind of any Kriya lover today is "What is in the mind of Krishna Thakur?". Since this is a question that has been consuming me also, just trying to make sense of my own thoughts. So kindly bear with me! Kindly share with me!
Reading his behavior-
Krishna has been behaving oddly and erratically over the past weeks. Can we find some clues in his behavior?
Calling her besharam vs calling her pavitr
Saying that she tried to poison vs him vs saying that she need not worry about him
Telling her to be grateful to stay in the house vs jumping in to prevent her from even stepping foot outside the house
Saying that her pooja was unnecessary vs going to the temple to watch her perform it.
Feeding her mirchi vs being kind to all her family
And many many other such things!
So what is to be made from all these contrary reactions?
One thing is established. Krishna loves Pratigya and wants her in his life no matter what. About the rest he is very very confused. What he said about Pratigya in front of his family is the truth. He does really believe that she is like fire –pure and sure. Then why is he upset?
For lots of reasons –
PITY and GUILT
The fact that Angad kidnapped Pratigya and had her in his possession was a tremendous shock to his system. The idea fills him with fear, disgust, anger, guilt and also pity. He had never before seen Pratigya in the light of pity. Suddenly he has realized that she may be a very strong girl but is also vulnerable to circumstances and violence like any human being. He does not like this vulnerable image. Remember how he always said "Aise sunder chehre par, dar jaisi bakhwas cheez achchee nahi lagti" . The picture of his Pratigya afraid, scared, vulnerable, under the mercy of a Man, any man is freaking him out. He is mortified that he never considered that she could be really afraid of him too! He is in his heart comparing himself with every brutish man and wondering if he is truly better? After all had he not goen to kidnap her himself? Had he not tried to force her? That is why he asked her " Ka ab hum pe bhi shak kar rahi ho ka" This was half to say that you can trust me, and half to see if there is any real doubt in her eyes.
Krishna was always able to see Pratigya as an object of lust before, but suddenly he is feeling so protective of her that he wants to even keep his eyes away from her. That is why he cannot take up her offer for consummation immediately.
That is the depth of honour and goodness of this Man! What can I say? Muaaaaah!!!😳😳😳😳
ANGER
I know this is too complicated, but along with pity Krishna also has anger for Pratigya. The fact that she never considered him "apna". Never included him in her worries, never bothered to tell him her real troubles, could hide something as important as Angadgate from him is making him furious. He also now knows that she only married him because she thouh he was responsible for the kidnapping. So he knows that she never loved him and in her eyes he was equal to Angad. He really is angry for this unfair assessment. He is angry because he was a fool all this while and he like to blame her and her duplicity for his delusions.
May not be absolutely justified, but perfectly understandable. Your wife gets your grief and so do we! So again MUAAAAH! 😳😳😳😳
SHAME
Immediately after coming to know that Prats never really loved him, he began to question why such a woman would stay with him? He looked around him and saw that he was deeply ashamed of his family and surroundings. What has he got to offer a girl in these circumstances. Abusive folks and a lecherous brother? He does not know how to show himself as different, is too inherently loyal to even do this in an overt way. He just does not feel that the situation is one where he can be happy with his wife. He is frustrated with everybody's behavior.
SUSPICION
Krishna had managed to take every look and action of Prats earlier and delude himself that she loved him. Remember ? " Hum jaante hain ke tum humse kitna pyaar karte ho, ab thoda bhaav ha rehee ho, khaa lo! Humao bhi dekhthe hain kitna din khaaogi" . Now he has had to accept that she did not ever love him. He is shattered and very insecure. He does not have the courage to believe and be disappointed again. He does not want to be a fool and mistake gratitude or guilt for love. That is why he believes that she is doing "Natak" and patronizing him. This makes him angry again ecause he feels he might fall for that trap again.
Poor poor Krishu!! LUB Ya! Muaaaah!😳😳😳😳
So between his LUb and his anger, His desire and his pity, between his admiration and his guilt, his attraction and his suspicion, he is one colossal mess. But his wife is equal to the task so we can relax. Aaj nahi tho kal Milan hona hi hai!
Philhaal "Milan abhi aadhaa-adhura hai, Milan abhi aadhaa-adhura hai …!"
Fan Fictions
Anupamaa
