I have begun to write this because I am seriously disturbed by some of the stuff that is being said on this forum.
"Pratigya deserves to be hit"
"Pratigya deserves to be slapped"
"Pratigya deserves to be publicly humiliated"
"Pratigya deserves to be left for another woman"
"Pratigya deserves to be groveling on her knees"
"Pratigya is not a woman"
I understand that we are all romantics, idealists even. That we feel bad because we see that love is not being reciprocated. Because we sense something of an inequality. But are the above sentiments those of idealists? I am not a rabid feminist. But when I find member's of my own sex wanting to beat slap and insult a woman because she refuses to relate to a man unless it is with the equation of equal love, I wonder if we are not breeding another generation of Ammas and Piyasiyas who are the firsts among the chauvinist; the first to throw stones at their sisters.
Let me try an re-examine the facts of the case to see if these sentiments are worthy of us –
I was tempted at first to make a tabular column of all the good and bad things Pratigya and Krishna have done for each other and really try and see mathematically how the equation stands. At a glance it would seem like a long list of wrongs and rights in Krishna's column and a few rights and one big wrong on Pratigya's column. Actually it does not make any sense to make this tally because both have insulted each other both have suffered because of the other. It basically boils down to this-
Krishna loves Pratigya. He has forced himself, his lifestyle, family and now even his value-system on her. He has stopped again and again from forcing himself physically on her and for this piece of nobility we have given him repeated praise.
Pratigya does not love Krishna. To us, the forum members who see how wonderful Krishna is, how funny, how loving, how sexy, how forceful! It may seem unbelievable that someone can resist this irresistible man! But the truth is Pratigya, who has seen his coercion, his crassness, his pig-headedness, his violence, his arrogance is able to resist it. We may wonder at her but what I am trying to say is that we CANNOT blame her. No human being should be forced to love someone. LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. LOVE SHOULD NOT BE FORCED.
So this is the bottom equation-
KRISHNA LOVES AND FORCES HIS LOVE ON HER = PRATIGYA DOES NOT LOVE (YET) AND SO WITHHOLDS HERSELF AND OFFERS NO LOVE
However much we may feel that it is nobler to love than to withhold love, I am trying to say that to victimize somebody for their inability to love someone, especially under coercion, is WRONG!
About the assertion that Pratigya uses Krishna:
Pratigya has not married Krishna under false pretences. She has not used his money. She has not tried to use his political power. She has never used his protection even to save her from her in-laws. She did not use him in Kesar's case. She has not actively sought to change him until recently, when she has started accepting him as a friend and husband. She only asked him to go with her because it would otherwise cause greater tension. (the last time she went without asking him (that night), Krishna was very upset with her and so were members of this forum! ) so she took him along not because she cannot hire a Rickshaw but because he would otherwise feel very alienated.
If anything, we are getting upset because Pratigya is a strong woman and she does not really need Krishna for anything. Our collective ego's are getting hurt on his behalf. But I ask you this - must a man-woman equation be based on mutually need?
She seeks his help and protection; He needs her for sex and to boost his ego. The classic relationship game. Is this what we want?
So basically we want Pratigya to need Krishna for protection and acknowledge this need, so that she may be honour-bound to offer him sex in return. Is it not much much much better for Krishna and Pratigya to offer each other Love and nothing but LOVE? Can we really not wait for this without finding punching bags for our frustration and victims for our wrath?
I am watching this serial not to see Pratigya mastered by Krishna, not to see her give-in in defeat, but to see her falling in love. In love beyond her initial distrust and revulsion, in spite of her different outlook and background, overcoming her anger in having been treated carelessly and roughly. To fall in love, after making that all important journey from the mind to the heart! But it is her journey, all the sweeter for having touched all the milestones and one that she will make in good time; and we must wait without throwing stones at her on the way. For those like me who find this journey both exciting and difficult to bear I give you this quote from Mirza Ghalib-
Ashiqui sabr-talb aur tammana betaab
Dil ka kya rang karoon khoon-e-jigar hote tak?
Love demands patience and desire is restless
How do I colour my heart till the liver supplies it with life-blood/I find release?
It is my humble suggestion that we colour our hearts with the red of love, instead the red of violence.
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