moving apart....

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Mrs. Joe Cheng

@Jia

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 18 years ago

kaise kahe tumhe meri zindagi
door jaane ka waqt kareeb hai abhi
kaise rahege tum bin jaan meri
majboori hai meri, ye tum na bhoolna kabhi

kehte hai kabhi alvida na kehna
lekin na kahoo, toh kaise jeeyu
aise lagta hai ki zindagi tham si gayee thi
waqt nahin ruka, ruk gaye the hum

chal ab waqt aa gaya hai...
ke waqt ke saath aage bade hum
udaas na hona meri jaan
dil mein tumhe basa liya hai, saath rahenge har pal

(its my pathetic first attempt at poetry...feel free to criticize =) )

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Radha Shabnam

@radha07

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 18 years ago

Wow Awesome poet you have written there. 👏

Keep posting,
Radha

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Anjali

@amisra

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 18 years ago

Nope Khair, it's definately not pathetic! It's great for a first!! Really nice job yaar! 👏 👏 👏

Please post more!

Cheers,

Anjali

Edited by amisra - 18 years ago

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Sapna

@*~Sapna~*

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 18 years ago

wow...very nice one Khair...u should write more yaar 👏 too good 👏

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maya_afreen

@maya_afreen

Rocker

Posted: 18 years ago

Hey its too good yaar 👏 u r a good shayar keep wirting😳

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Mrs. Joe Cheng

@Jia

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 18 years ago

Heyyy, thanks everyone for your kind words...i'll try to write another one sometime. I really appreciate your sweet feedback, but seriously u can say its not good and I can take that too...i know i can't be good at the first shot. so feel free to criticize too.

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Morgoth

@Morgoth

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 18 years ago

first timer? awesome khair! 👏

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Virgo_Stars

@Virgo_Stars

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 18 years ago

Khair u really underestimate ur self.

The poem is excellent! Its so touching and sweet. You should definately continue writing. You are so good at writing, be it stories or poems.

Wait for many more 😛

Naina