31st DECEMBER
"Tomorrow is the day of my life"
I supposed it, on every 30th of December for the last three decades. But I pray the god,
"Don't be a tomorrow just another day of 31st of December, like last years".
I spent almost last 30 years with this pain but with an illusory hope.
So... today is the night of 30th of December, I know that, this gonna be a long night for me. But it's all right, coz always I like to memorize each and every moment of my love story.
I remember everything clearly. It was 9th of December 1983. In the evening of that day, Rishabh and I met at the village Mandir as usual. We did pray the lord and came out. Then Rishabh took my hand and put on his head and mumbled, as always he used to be,
"Promise me Madhu, you never leave me"
"I promise you Rishabh, never".
Always I told with full of love.
Since I met the Rishabh most of the days, when we met in the mandir and, promised for each other, that we never leave us. Rishabh were in his early twenties, he did carpeting works for live. I was an eighteen years girl. I had only one sister and I lived with my parents. Rishabh was working hard for earn some money to marry me and live happily. But I couldn't help him to earn a Rupee. Though I wanted to do a job and earn some money for our future, Rishabh did never let me to do so. He was always telling me,
"Let me take care of you. I don't want to see your pretty face and hands to get pale and grey, but I need only your sweet love, my love". and smiled innocently.
So I did nothing, but love him from my deep Soul.
"Rishabh, coming days are not much good, I got some bad rumors about the anti-guerrilla campaign. I was heard that army would penetrate at any moment to village"
"Don't worry my love, they will not harm for any of us, since we are innocent villagers, they are after only for guerrillas"
"I don't know Rishabh ...I really feel so bad about this."
"So...then I tell you what?... Still you never kiss me... right?"
"So...?"
"Give me a kiss before anything happen to us? Is it fare enough...?"
"What are you talking Rishabh...This is not funny. I'm serious"
"So... I'm serious too...give me a kiss my love".
I didn't give him a kiss on that day. It's because I scared so much. I sniffed something in the air, a bad feeling. But I couldn't explain it to Rishabh. Then I came for home, after leaving from Rishabh. It was almost 6'O clock. My Malik was near by the door and he told me,
"Madhu, help mother to pack what she needs"
"Why... what for...?
I ran to my sister. She was crying in our little room.
"Why... Trishna...what happened?"
Then she fallen upon me and cried hard. I got no sense at all about what was going on. My mother came to me and told,
"It's too late for anything, get ready to leave the village quickly"
"Why...Why...what's happening, tell me Ma"
"Army would come in here soon, may be tonight. it's not safe here anymore, and we must leave as soon as possible. Malik got a bad news from a friend".
"Ma...I must let this know to Rishabh ...I must..."
Malik came to me and shut my mouth with his hand. Then my mother closed the door. I cried a lot. But noise didn't come out since my Malik shut my mouth. I didn't remember anything beyond that. I did faint. I woke up in the dawn of next day. We were 70 kilometers off from the village. 14th of December Malik managed to take us to a camp as refugees. Then, after 3 weeks of time we came to Mumbai City on 28th December of 1983.
While we were coming, Trishna, was always nearby me and try to quite me, coz I was crying all the way without eat anything or drinking only water. I got faint three times. I was weak so badly. Finally my sister realized something and told me,
"Madhu...I wrote a note on our back window that, "Meet my sister at Shivaji Park on 31st of December". I really don't know whether there is any City Park around Film city. But that's the only thing I could do for you and Rishabh. Malik told me, the other day evening, about Film city in Mumbai".
Since that 31st of December 1983, I go every 31st of December to Shivaji Park at central in Film city and, still hopping his coming. Still I wish he will come one of 31st of December and forgive me for what I did to him. That's how I'm trying to give a relief to my aching lonely heart. And that's how I try to justify what I did to him. I always loved him and I will do.
Ishaani
