Gay and Happy! : Twinkle Khanna's Take on Section 377

Gay and happy! writes Twinkle Khanna on Section 377

Gay sex is now a criminal offence though it is criminally offensive to me that in 2013 we have regressed to this state. How can we define people not by the qualities they posses as human beings but by what they choose to do in private, with mutual acquiescence and which does not affect anyone else.

I work with a gay colleague and we have travelled from China to Vegas and I have never felt safer and more secure in my life. I have stood in five inch Jimmy Choos (I hate heels) in a gay bar for four hours with my friend because he wanted to be there and in return he has stood up for me when the billionaire client decided that my services could include a little more than just design.

The best compliment my friend paid me was You are just like a guy' which though a bit demeaning to women coming from a straight man felt like a badge of honour from a gay one.

So since section 377 has dropped us into the midst of ridiculous circumstances, I have a few farcical and not so farcical things to add...

1 More gay men will stay in the closet, pretend to be straight, get into terrible marriages and make many, many women miserable wondering why their sweet, artistic husbands don't desire them at all.

2 A creative, well dressed, charming, intuitive Indian man can only be gay so arrest him and leave us poor women all the inarticulate, pawing buffoons to grapple with.

3 Next let's think about arresting all our cricketers, they are a group of the same sex people who keep playing with each other's balls, it's a mutual agreement to be part of a team and it is pleasurable to play so I am sure it's a crime like other mutual, pleasurable, same sex acts.

4 I know we have separate prisons for men and women so that they don't indulge in sex at all (well, they try the gay sex thing that you are now banning while they are in jail you know) but after arresting people for homosexual acts and putting them in prison, how will you segregate them so that they don't find members of their own gender to have sex with?

5 Food for thought " A humourist once said that you don't have to be gay to start a gay rights group just like you don't have to be a giraffe to start an animal rights group.

6 For all the straight homophobic men that even vaguely think that this is in any way a satisfactory judgement... a) homophobia can actually be defined as " The fear that gay men will treat you the same way, you straight men treat women. b) All gay men are not checking you out all the time, they have standards you know.

7 How about we first catch all the rapists, give them life imprisonment before we run around in circles and do daft things like arresting people for mutually agreeable acts that do not harm a
single soul.