TERI BAHOON MEIN- a Bitch's story
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Part 17
Maan looked out of the window,the warmth of early sunlight,the soft breeze,the serene atmosphere...anyone who would glance at him once, think that he is enjoying the nice morning ...bt a little attention to him would be enough to make it clear to anyone...that he wasn't enjoying the sun ,or the breeze,or the calm atmosphere...
It was only that one beauty he was appreciating,who stood in the middle of roses wiping her wet hair...
what he was looking at so intently was not the view the window allowed,it was that person's laugh,love & care,as she nurtured the garden ,as she played there with the little one,laughed with meera & dev...took care of dadima...
what he was so ardently taking in wasn't the morning air...it was HER sweet scent which the breeze carried to him...
& yet,he didn't know why he was there...every day,every morning...without fail.
Just one day he had accidentally seen her ,wiping her hair with a towel ,looking so pure,so serene,so beautiful,so innocent in the midst of those white roses,as if...as if she herself was a pure delicate flower...
He had watched her mesmerized,followed her every movement with his eyes,until she went inside the house,out of his view...
After that he didn't know why,bt he had found himself there at that exact time,only to see her without her knowledge...he didn't bother to know why...he didn't WANT to know why...
***
After the first day,geet had decided to totally cut off herself from the rest of the family,never show any emotion...just concentrating on studies. Bt all her resolution came crashing down in that single one day...she didn't know why & when,bt that day ...she had discovered that she was afraid of rain & thunder. Or maybe she did know why...
That night she was so afraid that she had curled herself into a ball on the floor & continued to howl like an wounded animal ...until dadi came & gathered the crying pitiful child in her arms. Geet wasn't in her right mind,she thought she would go insane that day...she scratched & bit & tried to scrunch away from her...bt dadi probably knew what was her fear about,NO..they knew,it was her fear,all coming up at once,it was her fear of losing everything...it was the second storm since that day...the day she came to know her identity,only to lose it all.
Dadi had lovingly embraced her,removing all the fight she had put on & caressed her head until he had fallen sleep...that day she knew...dadi wasn't bad like she pretended to be,she was kind & warm...& it didn't take her much time to warm up to her & the rest of the family.
******
He had avoided even coming infront of her as she wanted,bt then she didn't know WHY..Geet couldn't understand WHy was she feeling so lonely even if she was with everyone...she wanted to see him,just a glance,that would tell her that he was doing ok,that he wasn't suffering ...like her. That he wasn't punishing himself. NO,actually this not meeting him...this law created by her,became a punishment to herself. Why was she the one feeling pain? Why was she seeking his glance? Why did she want to make sure that he was ok?? Wasn't she supposed to hate him? After what she had done to him? Wasn't she supposed to try to forget him? Then why every day,every second,every damn moment she was thinking about him..& Only him ...no matter where she was & with whom???
Geet beta..
Ha dadi?
Congrats! You became the top student of the year.
Thanks dadi..geet said trying to smile.
The truth was she find happiness in none,all she knew that she wanted to run intohis arms,his warmth...bt she knew it was wrong,wrong in so many ways...
...
She knew,once he touched her,she would be broken,all open..vulnerable...shattered,bt still it would not be right. She didn't want to be vulnerable,she didn't want to bare her heart... infront of the person who didn't love her...who just loved her shadow...
Geet..Geet GEETT!!!
h..ha ha kya hua Bhabi?
So what do you think.
ok ,jaisa app thik samjhe.
She didn't want them to know about her thinking,she didn't want them to know about the fact that din raat,sote- jagte...wo sirf uske barien mein sochti thi.
Then it's done,we will invite all of ur classmates to ur celebration party.
Geet's eyes widened in horror.
Nahi mujhe party nahi chahiye...
Par abhi to tumne ha kaha na..ya phir tum hamari batein nahi sun rahi thi. Agar hamari batein nahi sun rahi thi to kya soch rahi thi?? Meera asked.
Nahi nahi,i am ok with party. Mujhe bas..
Ok,then we should go,haina dadi,dev...
They all knew what she was thinking about & they knew she wasn't paying any attention...bt it was good. Because it was there first step to bring Maan & Geet together.
They had given geet time to adjust from the shock ..& now when they knew geet wouldn't take the first step...they knew what they NEEDED to do...to give Maan a push...& this party was the push he needed.
****
Maan entered Geet's room stealthily as he does every night,nothing much...bt he would just sit on the floor beside her bed & look at her sleeping form till dawn...
It was a ritual for him,like the morning ritual of watching her in garden...she looked so pure that he was afraid that one touch of him,will wilt her... after all,unlike her,his heart was full of poison.
He came to her every night since THAT night,to check if she was ok,to ensure her sound sleep,guess she slept in deep slumber everyday cause of her mental fatigue,still he had to check her to reassure himself...He didn't want to see her again like that night...it was a stormy night..the second storm from the day geet knew the truth...
He didn't know why,bt he had felt very disturbed & uncomfortable that night & when the first thunder rendered the sky...he remembered how geet used to cuddle upto him more & more with the sound of the thunder.
He just had to run to her room & before he could enter her room ,he had heard mules...no,an unnatural cry...like an wounded vulnerable animal,it was geet.
He watched helplessly as she curled into ball & cried...he wanted to goto her.. to hug her & tell her,that it was ok...it will be ok..bt he couldn't cause she wished to not see him...
One more ardent cry from her & his hand went to the handle to push open the door & be there beside her...bt dadi had stopped him...
Dadi went in ...& it broke his heart how she was scrunhing away in fear even from dadi,bitting her,scratching her...he thought he was witnessing his heart being torn apart...& bt still some thing had statued him ,where he was...as if there was something left...
He stood in the shadow witnessing her behaving like an animal,like an insane...he didn't knew why she was behaving that way,bt he knew that HE was the cause of it.
Just when he thought he could not be in more pain,words from Geet's mouth had shattered his heart in millions of pieces.
She had finally succembed to dadi's advances & let her embrace her ,she finally let out in gibberish words what was tormenting her heart,making her insane...
mujhe...main main kya karoon...wo chalen jayenge na..sab mujhe chod ke chale gaye...wo bhi chale jayenge na...main...main mar jayungi unke bina..mujhe...
mujhe unhe rokna hai,..mujhe akele mat chodiyen..wo ...unhe rokiye...mujhe barish pasand nahi...darr lagta hai...
mujhe unhe rokna hoga..main ...main ..main kya karoon dadi...main kya karoon..ki..wo mujhe chod kar na jaye??
It had broke Maan's heart to look at the broken girl,so fearful..so vulnerable,so hurt...
Main unse mafi mangoo..to ...wo mujhe chod ke nahi jayenge na...shayed...shyed...main unse gidgidaun to wo mujhe thoda sa...bas thoda sa
...zyada nahi..thooda sa pyaar karenge na dadi..ha dadi..ha..bolo na..
...it had broken him to see how she tried to show with her hands that how much little amount of love she wanted from him,with how little love from him..& she would be more than satisfied.
Bt he could not give her what she wanted...
He saw helplessly as dadi tried to shush her down 'hum yaha hai na beta..we will never leave you,hum apse pyaar karte hai na...'
Bt as if she was deaf...she kept mumbling..
Ha..main ..main unke pair padungi,wo...jo kahenge wo karungi..tab wo mujhe...thoda sa pyaar karenge..hai na dadi...
It was maan's worst nightmare...never in his life did he experienced this kind of love,this kind of deewangi...all he could do was to curse the fate..why didn't it bring Geet to him before...so he could return a little of her love atleast...bt now,if he told him that he loved her...it would be nothing bt a farce.
As the first ray of orange light entered her room,he bent down to her face,looking at her lovingly,brushing away the tendril from her face .
Kyun mujhse itna pyaar karti ho geet...mujh jaise rakshas ko? Kyun? Maine to tumhe sirf dard diya hai na...tumhe to mujhse nafrat karni chahiye na..itni nafrat,ki main jaha saas lu ,uss hawa se tumhara dum ghutne lage...to phir kyun geet? Kyun? Kyun itna dard sehti ho? Kyun nahi bhulti mujhko Geet?...
He kissed her forehead tenderly...
Mujhe bhul jao Geet,maine tumhe dard ke siva kuch nahi diya ..na de sakta hu. Tum bohut acchi ho Geet,tumhe ekdin wo mil jayega,jo tumhe tumhara pyaar lauta sake...jo tumhe khushi de..naki meri tarha aasun...he said as he wiped her tears & went away from the room.
PRECAP- PARTY<DRINKS<JEALOUSY...IN DARKNESS...not alone...
Edited by Shilalipi - 11 years ago
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