Thread 2 : Our LOVE - a Bless or a Curse|Updated |Page 22 - Page 7

Chapter 11

Changes around me was clear visible to me. I can sense the change. The change was happening within myself. My husband , was giving his full support to me , but somehow I am not being able to forgive me. It was the third day in row , I failed to sleep . I failed to close my eyes. I sat up in the bed and looked aside to my husband . I kept him in dark, and my luck favored me too. The pills for his wounds were not letting him to wait for me to slip into sleep, which is an invincible part of his routine.

I rubbed my eyes . They were burning , itching . I cannot see properly even. Placing my hands over them I closed them tight. My eyes ached in pain , I wanted to sleep but I can't 72 hours and more I was with no sleep , and I have not informed it to my husband even.

All these three days I kept myself busy in decorating the new room , with the old belongings of the old bedroom. I tried to show everything is fine' status to my family and somehow I ended up doing it very successfully.

The winter is slowly sheeting the skies of the city . Mild coldness was prevailing , but due to my weak health I felt shiver. I sat up covering myself with the duvet. The click sound in the clock made me turn my head to the side table. The time was just 4 a.m then. I sighed and leaned back. But I couldn't sit back for long, the urge to get fresh , moved me from the bed towards the washroom.

Coming out of the WC , I stood infront of the dresser in the changing room . I noticed a development in my eyes , they have turned Red , little bit swollen too . If it is visible to me ,must get visible to others too, to my Husband. I looked up again , and I got shocked.

Ram!' I turned in shock, you .. I mean why you woke up ! Now !' He didn't replied to me ; I managed a smile , I think you are here to use the Wash Room .. go ahead I am outside.' I wanted to walk away, in the bedroom. He held me back , I felt his hand against my arms, he held me tight.

look at me' he ordered . His voice changed to hoarse , he was not happy with me. May be frustrated . I slowly looked at him , and I found my intuition to be wrong , rather he was sad , he was looking into my eyes , with pain. I couldn't held myself back , I hugged him. He stroked my hairs softly. With his chin rested just in between my hairs, he came closer and kissed .

Priya something is wrong !' coming apart , he asked me taking my hands on his. To hide the truth I again looked down. look at me!' He again ordered before I could voice.

you don't look okay Priya , what is bothering you ? Tell me.' He voiced very helplessly , it pained me , he continued , Priya , Does every thing changed so much that you couldn't share your worries with me. Am I so Bad?'

I felt tears accumulating in my eyes , I looked up to him , I found his eyes fixed on mine. Tears escaped my eyes . He rubbed out the tear from my eyes and cupped my face in his hands . I found him scrutinizing me carefully. Closing my eyes I wanted to prevent him from doing the same. I tried to take my face back from him. He prevented me from doing so , forcibly.

Please Ram let me Go !' I pleaded .

no tell me what is going on ? why you are not looking Good ! why your eyes are telling me a different story what is going on !' he gave a pause and looked at me again and then firm and angry , he asked for an answer.

Tears broke . It made its way scrolling down my cheeks . I stammered as I replied my husband , though I felt really tough to answer I managed an answer , R..ra..am , wo mein ... I can't sleep !' I wept .

what !!' he almost screamed to me. I looked at him with tear filled eyes. He collected himself , and concentrated back on me , what are you saying?' he sounded very worried for me. He took me to the bedroom and slipped me under the duvet , though I didn't want the same. I saw him comforting himself by me , he started caressing my hairs , and asked me to close my eyes.

I did the same , but the irritation and pain didn't allowed me to do the same for long time. I opened my eyes and looked at my husband. I sat up , and nested myself in his arms , I clasped my hands around his broad chest with my head placed near his heart. He held me in his arms and asked me to share my worries with him.

I don't know ! I really don't know Ram.' I said , nestling closer to him.

let me guess is it the same thing bothering you!' looking at me he says , or you are feeling guilty or you are surprised that I am not angry with you , I am not behaving rude to you? Which one.'

it's not like that ram .' I sat straight, repulsing myself from him. But I was wrong , these three days I was thinking only why Ram didn't reacted over my non sense why he was so cheerful with me , why he is so calm with me, and yes off course I am guilty , and I am worried . I am guilty because I doubted on my husband , and worried thinking that if I can conceive again. I looked at Ram and merely uttered , yes'

He smiled and took me back in his arms , I now lay on his chest as he strokes my head. Stroking my hairs , he rested his head on mine and said that he had a talk with Doctor panels and we will be visiting Monisha aunty once she comes back from abroad, I sighed a breath of relief.

Priya , now let me tell you some little things to you baby! What I personally feel.' Ram looked at me. I looked at him and smiled in acceptance lying in the same position and hugging him more tightly . After starting the conversation with my husband , I felt good , really good I should have done this way back , I smiled to myself.

My husband shared his feelings with me .. that night ... Though it may sound funny for peoples but I feel we grew and made our relationship stronger only through bunch of learning .

He first talked about ...

(every statement is my husband's addressing me hence forth)

Misunderstanding

Which husband wife don't have had misunderstanding in their life. If anyone claims to have not encountered a one in their life time , then they are the biggest liars . Misunderstanding lays back many learning for a couple , and I am glad we have gone through a few . That made me mature , that made me a man , from a boy. I didn't consider myself as a man before you happened to me , when I misunderstood you with Rajat , and I left you without talking with you or without letting you speak once . I grew up a little that time , I came to know the importance of a face off. Sit and clear the matter. And I promised myself to do one after that day. And I believe after all this recent incident you have learnt it to.

Trust

Walks along with understanding .. if I trust you then I will understand you , may be one day two day I will be angry and I will want you to step forward and clear up the mess . But if I trust you one day or one month it takes , I will understand you . Don't you think you are here with me now it's because you trust me, even though I was a beast to you once.

Respect

I respect you more than I Love you. Yes I do , and I know you do the same. And you know still when I remember that night I die a millionth deaths . why I dis-respected you that day. It was the biggest dis-respect for a lady , then also you continue to stay with me , love me and still today even after that day you didn't stopped respecting me. Trust me , if I would have been at your place I couldn't have do the same; I respect you more than ever, and I know the same is for you.

Ego

What does this ego means ? I' myself' me' no place of those words in relationship it must be replaced with ours' at every step. Isn't it and it is you who made me learn to replace it , and I know you failed this time but I know after today you will never do that again.

Love

Hmm.. don't you thing we are madly deeply in love with each other...

I just know one thing Ram!' I said .

what?' he asked with a smile.

I Love you so Much .. So So So much..' I said .. an I found my lips sealed with his. I didn't protested . he kissed me very passionately and sweetly . I felt like kissing him after decades so lovingly after decades. We came apart , but he didn't let me move , he hugged me tight , and I reciprocated.

Just forget it baby , whatever happened , we will start everything afresh . Just forget that anything bad happened with us . Noting happened . and don't ever dare to think that you have done something wrong , I tell you if you continue to shed tears and keep yourself busy in thinking and not loving me .. I will start thinking about the past !' he smiles as I hit him on his chest softly.

I felt dizzy as my husband comforted me in his arms as he continued to be in his playful nature. I looked at him as he said that sometimes misunderstanding , and doubting is good for husband wife. I looked surprised ,who else will not be , I can understand the point misunderstanding but not doubting I asked !

like ...' he thinks for a while , like dekho meine tummpe shaq kiya and I was wrong then.. you doubted me with Maria and you were also wrong ! right?' he smiled but not the general smile , he was thinking something wicked .

yes I replied' looking a little worried .

so , dekho faida hi faida agar kabhi .. I indulge into an Extra ...' I didn't let my husband complete and started hitting him .. he smiled I giggled , holding my hands tight He pulled me to him and I landed safely in his custody again. We looked at each other, kissing my forehead , he placed his palm over my eyes . Darkness engulfed but I can feel my husband's firm hands around my waist and back as he took the hand back from my eyes. I kept my eyes closed, he laid me properly on the bed, I couldn't see anything but I can feel every little thing happening around me . He tucked ourselves carefully under the duvet and I lie on his chest . He kept on caressing stroking my head , hairs and I didn't even felt when I dozed off into deep slumber.

RAM .

(in the pages of his journal)

I write as she sleeps . She is so hurt but why ? If I can forget my past deeds why not she ? Why ? I can't see her in so much pain. What I should do to get her out of this trauma. No I can't write more if she again reads this she will be upset again . I want my Priya back.

I tore the page of the diary and walked to the wash room, splitting it into pieces I threw in into the Toilet pan and flashed . I walked back to the room and found my wife sleeping peacefully . Coming across to her I leaned and caressed her face , kissing her forehead when I checked the time I found it to be 7.30 in the morning how time passed away I didn't have an idea. Tucking her properly and blocking the ways for lights to invade the room I walked downstairs .

I informed my family about Priya and her exact condition and the also fixed an appointment with Monisha Aunty in next two days.

= = = = = = = = = =

Very lazily I opened my eyes , and I felt the reality that while my husband was talking with me , my husband was comforting me , I felt asleep. I smiled broad. Looking around I found the room dark , nothing else than a red night lamp was enlightening the room. I looked around and Ram was no where near. I sat up and rubbed my eyes . I was about to step out of the bed, I heard his voice behind me.

where are you going ? baby!' As he said I turned to him. He climbed to the bed and sat just behind me . he massaged my shoulders .

Please stop it .. I need to use the wash room !' I protested , Ram what is the time ?'

why ? is it important ? you go and freshen up I will get some light food for you and before you ask more , let me update you I have called the doctor he checked you vitals you are fit and fine. And even you ask more it's now ...' Ram checked his wrist watch and added , it's 2:10 a.m'

what !!' I screamed , means I was sleeping for the whole day and night and ..' I found myself lost.

Please priya , don't make an issue of this you needed to sleep badly and don't you feel fresh now ?' ram said rolling eyes over me .

But my concern were the elders , and ram said that everyone is updated about my health and concerned too. I felt relieved a bit . Ram asked me to freshen up and left the room.

I came back in minutes to the room , ram was not back yet. I switched on few lights to get a better view of the room. I deposited myself on the stool and looked into the dresser. I felt yucky over myself . the lady who never had dark circles , is now decorated with two semi circle black patch. I tied my hair into a pony and walked back and sat casually on the couch.

After 10-15 minutes Ram came back with a tray in his hand, he placed the tray in front of me , reveling the pre occupants of it . He made some toasts and coffee. I smiled. Rather I blushed .

doctor said you to give some light food , I first thought to get some fruits but this time fruit is not a suitable one , so here it is , toasts with minimum butter and coffee your favorite .' Ram extended his hand to me with a toast , I took a bite and feed him back. I was sure that he was in empty stomach too. We ate in peace and again Ram forcibly pushed me to bed , and surprisingly I felt asleep again.

Next Morning ...

I got ready and descended downstairs ... taking blessings from my elders I sat for breakfast. I was about to take the first bite , I saw my family and neha coming inside. I smiled . My father in law asked them to join for the breakfast. I found neha and my sister little suspicious as they whispered along with my mother in law. I like good girl concentrated on my food.

I was then at my room , with my father. He was also worried about my health . I was assuring him about my well being . He was sharing how things are going on at my home. We paused as my mother in law knocked at the door. I stood up immediately.

sudheer ji , if you don't mind can I talk to my daughter alone!' Humbly my M-I-L requested , smiling broad my father left.

sit' she said politely , as I sat next to her , she took her hidden hand out . My eyes went to an envelope. She handed it to me and said , just go away from here for few days . just put everything out of your mind what ever happened here , with you with ram , everything. Just be with your husband. Forget everything !'

I looked down , my mother in law placed her hand on my head , as she asked , are you ready to go ?'

ram is he ?' I asked ..

he don't know anything about this , that day when you went for shopping , I asked neha and Nisha do this favor to me. That's why they kept you in dark. If you agree to go , then only I will call ram.' I was moved by my mother in law's care and gesture and love for me. How can I deny this lady , I hugged her and said yes. I felt the most woman in the world to have such a sweet loving and caring mother in law.

I will..' I said smiling to her. She took the phone and called ram , he in minutes came to the room.

Ram ..' she stood up and walked to her son, I have gifted something to Priya , and when she has agreed to it , I don't think that you have any choice other than to agree with her. After all she is the home minister.'

I couldn't stop smiling , Ram like a Mamma's boy nodded his head right to left agreeing with his mother . My Mother in Law came to me and kissed my fore head and left .

and exactly what I have to do ?' Ram came to me . I gave the envelope to him. Ram asked me about the contents inside . I said that I have no idea , but I know it must be a travel package. Ram loves travelling visiting new places. Very excited he opened the envelope to find out the content. The broachers , tickets hotel booking details popped out of the envelope.

Ram went through the broacher and smiled , That's my mother , just like you simple but most beautiful. Munnar !'

My mother in law planned a exotic package for two means us .. for Munnar , and in the simplest manner ever can , so that we can spend time with each other as much as we can.