SS- (CAGED!) Chapter 5: let me go...page 20 - Page 11

Soup, this the QH, right here. Bas. Like I said before I going to love, I still am.

Kya likhti ho tum. This part was lovely. Please update soon.

THAT WAS AWESOME.N VERY WELL WRITTEN

4: You and I

Asad paced up and down in his room. It was 6 in the evening. He was home by 2 PM...and had waited for Zoya. This was killing him...this silence on her part. He had spent the whole of last month worrying over this very thing. He had known her anger wouldn't melt just like that, but he had hoped for an opening after one month...and now that they were under the same roof, and going by her resigned attitude the previous night...he was not sure what to expect of her...

He badly wanted to call her, but had refrained, since that'd be not the best way to start off mending what he had broken...He needed to be with her, talk it out with her... some place where he had all her attention.

The door bell rang, and he knew it had to be Zoya. By the time he rushed out of his room, Ammi had opened the door to let in Zoya, looking very pleasant. It was such a joy to see normalcy returning to her. But the moment she laid her eyes on him, she smiled unsurely and averted her eyes.

Dilshad served them both coffee, when the doorbell rang again. It was the Pizza delivery. Dilshad looked towards Asad knowingly, while Zoya was lost in her cup of coffee.

"Thanks Phoophi", Zoya mumbled absentmindedly and invited Dilshad to join them. She made up an excuse to leave the couple to themselves. The earlier they tackled this, the better.

Zoya took a small bite of her pizza and took another sip. She had had a tiring day. Her first visit had been to a NGO that took care of destitute women. She had enrolled herself as a volunteer. Encouraged by her credentials, they had suggested that she apply for a Masters in Social Work, if interested. She had spent the rest of the day, accompanying a field worker. It had been a moving experience, seeing firsthand, the predicament of women who were lesser fortunate. The return journey home had again brought Mr. Khan to her thoughts. Decision making was no longer difficult, breaking the news was.

Zoya knew she must still mean the same to Asad, even if her feelings had changed. Sitting here with him, sharing the table made her realise how much more difficult it was to break away from him. This was the picture perfect couple she had imagined them to be...sitting together at the table, enjoying coffee after a tiring day, sharing their day's adventures...

It was so alluring. In spite of all that had happened, she was still attracted to him. Her heart wanted this moment to last forever...but...it was not fair- To him, or her. They belonged to different worlds...passion could bind them together, for how long?

She remembered the drunkard she had seen earlier that day...lamenting about the habit he was not able to break, cursing himself as his earnings were all spent on his habit, leaving his family to starve...and he was drunk all the same. It was not easy to break off a bad habit. She simply did not want them both to become a bad habit to each other...addicted, enslaved, dying to break away...

Their relationship was already strained, and this would be the best time to...

"How was your day?, a soft voice resonated through her thoughts. She looked up to meet his brown eyes. It was so easy to drown herself in them, gaze on endlessly. How could a human being have such a hypnotic effect on her? This was unnerving. She was supposed to concentrate on her life- not allow Mr. Khan to take her on another journey of losing herself. She had to gather herself.

"Hmmm..Theek tha.."...Zoya quickly diverted her attention to her cup and looked out of the corner of her eyes. Asad was circling his thumb on his empty cup, caressing it...(What was wrong with her??? Why was she being such an idiot?)

"Zoya..", she could read the concern in his voice- the regret, and it was stirring up a lot of feelings she had bottled up inside her. Those feelings were dangerously struggling to let themselves loose, and Zoya felt wretched that she wanted to give up already. Quick! She had to talk before he melted her...made her change her mind...convinced her into marrying him...binding them to each other in lifelong misery...to reconsider their decision a year or two later. Would they not turn out to be two strangers wanting to hang on to an institution for the sake of commitment? She had to talk to him...

"Woh..."- she had to get it over with...NOW.

"Woh..aaj main..woh Asha..."

Asad could see that she was struggling to speak and he waited.

"Woh social organisation Asha hai na...wahan gayi thi. I am going to work as a volunteer and may be do a M.S.W. Uh..Is it Okay if I stay here till I kind of get the hang of all this?"

Of course, Zoya knew the answer to her question even before she formed it. Asad would let her stay. The point was, she wanted to stay as far away from him as possible. But then she'd miss her beloved Phoophi...and try as much, she could not bring up their relationship in any way. This was the best opening to that. It implied she had plans to go away. Hopefully Asad would understand...or more likely, get out of her what she wanted to tell him.

"Zoya... Wha..?... How can you even ask me a question like...What do you...Please... This is your home; you know that...c'mon..Please..."

" I am sorry.." (That I asked an irrelevant question? That I have to reject US'? God! Get it out of me, before I crumble...)

Asad had long left his cup. Now he was massaging his brow...He was not dumb. He knew exactly what she was hinting at. What caught him completely by surprise was her defeated attitude. This was not the Zoya he had expected. He had been prepared for anger...a current of accusations...even physical assault. But her coldness was cutting through his heart. He could understand her wanting to reject him...but where was that anger? Couldn't she just slap him left and right...or break his things...or just shake him and tell him that she hated him? This was cruel...she was calm and composed and brutally clear. And she looked quite determined...How could she just ask him permission to stay at his home?...How could she??? What Asad wanted right now was to grab her by the arms and shake her till she vented out at him, but he knew that was unfortunately not a luxury he could avail.

"Zoya, I know I made a huge, huge mistake...I understand you can never forgive me for the enormity of it...Believe me, I cannot either..but please...I...I beg you...please...Be angry with me, hate me...but please don't ever suggest what you are ...Please, not again..." His voice was breaking...and her heart along with it. She was simply too weak a person. But no...this had to be settled now. She had to break away, clean and good- however difficult it was. Before she repeated the mistakes of her mother...his mother...

"Mr. Khan...I..I don't think there is any point in us trying to mend what has been broken. I am not angry with you. I am not mad at you...Trust me, I am not. I am just trying to tell you that we ...are ...different. Probably it is the East- West thing...I understand you have feelings for me. I have for you too...and I have been blind in pursuing that passion. I guess there comes a time when we all have to reconsider our priorities...I am just doing that. I beg you ...please ...let us not ...destroy what is left behind of us. I...I plan to stay on in India...to find my Abbu...connect with some other things I am passionate about...Can we please be friends? I...I'd really appreciate it if you understood me..."

Zoya did not know how she managed to say it all in one breath. She was thankful he had not interrupted or distracted her. But now...she wanted to run to her room...away from him...she needed space. She walked towards her room, with her heart thumping in her chest, tears stinging her eyes, and a more clarified vision. It had been difficult, still was. But she had done it...severed the vestiges of a relationship that threatened to keep her caged.

Asad was dumbstruck. He stared at Zoya's plate. She had hardly even taken a bite out of her Pizza.

Was this even Zoya?

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PS: Again, this came later than I had planned..and I could not reply to the comments..😳

Thank You all for the encouragement...🤗

Originally posted by: MisHumptyDumpty

But but but, i had a heavy heart while i read. :(( i felt so sad for both of them! so So So Sad :(( Sad more for Dilshad :((

Angry at Ayaan >.< and wanted to strangle him, and i ended up sniffing. My poor baby Asad :(( and his baby Zoya :(( and their future kids :((

how can you write so painful :(( and WHY :((

Originally posted by: chicksoup

Achha, pehle pass..aur phir heavy heart!🤣

It is quite painful na?

😭 I must be a sadist!😲

🤗 Backoo ltr!

I love ya Soup, for writing this. 🤗

It is beautiful, I read this story and I find it very hard to express my feelings in words., I am moved every time. Without fail. It connects with me at an emotional level, so blows my fuse, in a good way. 😉


And yes, this chapter reminds me of my previous signature, and my most favorite lines.

It's in the stars, It's been written in the scars on our hearts,
We're not broken just bent, And we can learn to love again.

The lines are from song "Just give me a reason", from Pink, it is my favoritest wala song. 🤗

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHQezRRFnMw

Originally posted by: MisHumptyDumpty

too painful 💔 😭 😭

Pass issi liye cause i would have started my rants, then i thought ki nahi, Zoya is blind with her thoughts at the moment she needs time so Trusting on the maker more 😳

No you are a true lover of Love 🤗

for red wala
⭐️

nice update soup...👏

Oh Soup, I cannot tell you how HAPPY I am that you updated! 🤗